I was wondering if any of you have any advice how to deal with this guy... I just started classes and I've been talking to a this hot girl, we sit by each other in classes and there is an obvious attraction, on the second day of class or so I asked her to go to lunch and since these guys I met at orientation were near I asked them too, one of them invited this guy who was alone and at the resturant he went into full on douche mode, he talked the enitre lunch only telling stories about himself and his girlfriend and just did not shut up, it is obvious I am trying to get this girl and now everytiome Im around this group since we all sit in assigned seats next to each other he makes fun of me and cockblocks the **** out of me, thing is he is pudgy and I could physically destroy him in like two seconds but I'm trying to react calmly, any idea for how I can deal with this cockblock and focus on this girl?
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Thread: Dealing with Douches
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08-22-2012, 08:03 PM #1
Dealing with Douches
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08-22-2012, 08:12 PM #2
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08-22-2012, 08:13 PM #3
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08-22-2012, 08:13 PM #4
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08-22-2012, 08:14 PM #5
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08-22-2012, 08:19 PM #6
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08-22-2012, 08:22 PM #7
Easy fix. It's time to tell your pudgy friend to to shut his ****ing mouth or you will do it for him. Make sure you are looking him in the eyes and use your big boy voice so he knows you mean business. This girl is most likely going to be more attracted to you if you handle it, rather than sitting there getting punked. You would be surprised how their minds work. You're sitting here thinking you should remain calm because of her when in reality she is probably thinking that if you can't handle this turd, how would you ever defend her. Whether they are into bad boys or nerds, feeling protected is a universal desire they have. You need to man up or you will not get the girl. This is not internet tough guy advice. Make him respect you and you will earn hers.
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08-22-2012, 08:22 PM #8
I would just laugh it off and pretend like you don't care.
I mean one time this kid tried to get physical with me. I punched him in the jaw, completely dropped him, he never talked sh it to me again. Sometimes thats your only option. Last approach kind of thing, and only if it gets physical
Talk to someone. May sound ga y but talk to your principle or somebody
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08-22-2012, 08:25 PM #9
Yeah, I grew up in an abusive enviorment and I was an angry person for a long time, partly why I'm obssessed with bodybuilding, the old me would have wrecked the **** out of this guy, who is this joker for making fun of me when I was only being nice. But, I'm trying to change and be happy and positive, sadly though I really do want to **** this guy up but I feel like my new life mindset would be against it
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08-22-2012, 08:35 PM #10
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08-22-2012, 08:42 PM #11
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08-22-2012, 08:48 PM #12
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08-22-2012, 08:48 PM #13
You have to make your own decision and you will be responsible for that decision. My advice was sincere and I stand by it. If he had just continued to be annoying by telling stories about himself, I would have agreed with whitekoala. That's not the case, he is belittling you in front of a girl he knows you're interested in (trust me, he knows). It's up to you, but if you really can destroy him as you said, chances are he will recognize that and STFU when you call him out. If you put this guy in his place, ask her out that same day and she will say yes. You know my stance, good luck man.
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08-22-2012, 08:49 PM #14
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08-22-2012, 08:50 PM #15
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08-22-2012, 10:43 PM #16
Beware becoming the douche though. Lots of girls will be instantly turned off by puffing your chest out and starting a pissing contest with the dude. Its important to have a good read on the girl. If she's from jersey then tell him to shut his ****ing mouth and make him swallow teeth. If she's nice, handle the situation with tact. Unfortunately women perceive situations differently than we do in many cases. What we may perceive as an assault to our pride and best settled by physical threat, your girl may see that as brutish and victimizing.
I'd say explain your situation one on one. Don't sound like a ***. Just tell him straight up that his being a prick is not appreciated. Ill bet if you ask him politely to kindly get off your nuts, he will. In no civilized nation is war preferred when diplomacy fixes a problem.
And the girl will appreciate eloquence and tact.
Edit: nothing wrong with having a threatening edge to your voice though. Like, that tone that implies that if he isn't receptive you're likely to beat the life out of him.People used to cross the street when I would walk by. They'd be like, "Whoa, look at that monster coming towards us! Literally barreling towards us!" I was as big as a skyscraper...now I'm as tiny as a postage stamp. I'm just trying to become that monster again.
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08-22-2012, 10:46 PM #17
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08-22-2012, 11:03 PM #18
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08-22-2012, 11:23 PM #19
Dude not for nothing here.....but he wouldnt pick on you like that if he thought for a second that you were this alpha male that you seem to think you are. I think the probelm is that you think you are this intimidating guy and you cant understand why pudgeball is picking on you, and I think reality is that people see you like a whining wussy, just like you're coming across here on the boards. You do sound like your 15, and if you say you're in law school that means you're like 22/23 and you sound like a retard. So if you want to get this girl or any girl, I think you need to look inside yourself and see how people are really perceiving you and improve upon those things.
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08-23-2012, 05:07 AM #20
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08-23-2012, 05:16 AM #21
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08-23-2012, 06:18 AM #22
If she's a smart girl in law school, and you go slugging this guy, she's going to see herself picking you up at the local at 1am because of a bar fight. Not the image you want to convey.
Try diplomacy first, when he acts up confront him directly, give him a shut-down look, tell him he needs to chill out because no one finds him entertaining and that's not how you socialize with people.
There's also a good chance he's an attention whore, how much do you or the people around you respond to him? Cold shoulder the **** out of him until he gets the idea that no one is entertained.-Crohn's Disease crew
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08-23-2012, 06:23 AM #23
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08-23-2012, 07:00 AM #24
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08-23-2012, 07:11 AM #25
I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.
Stern Crew
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08-23-2012, 07:12 AM #26
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08-23-2012, 07:20 AM #27
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08-23-2012, 07:24 AM #28
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08-23-2012, 07:37 AM #29
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08-23-2012, 07:57 AM #30
There are several approaches to dealing with a-holes like this, the aim of all them is to lower his value in the eyes of the girl and increase yours
Strategy 1 (my personal favourite): Disacknowledgement i.e. you hardly recognise he exists e.g. he makes stupid comment about you: You "Yeah cool" turn away & continue conversation with girl, the more comments he makes to try & get back in the conversation or make you react the more try hard he seems which lowers his value. He makes another comment: You "Nice dude" turn away & continue, note: your comments are not aggressive or making fun of him he is just not important to you like you are not even listening.
You can take this further e.g. he makes another comment to get back in the conversation: You "Sorry man what where you saying?" he says something You:"OK I heard enough" turn away continue to talking to girl, turn back to him "Sorry man just kidding, go on" 2 seconds later "OK cool man" turn away and continue talking to girl. If he continues interrupting You - "I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings" (makes him look like he's getting upset) let him talk for 2 seconds then say "One sec..." turn away & continue talking to girl. By then he'll either give up or just look like a real dick for continuing to interrupt.
Strategy 2: Set the frame that he is making fun of you as a joke so that you & others will like him e.g he makes fun of you or joke about you in front of others: You "hey man we like you OK no need to keep trying to make us laugh" whatever he replies with, you immediately say "Hey dude no need to get all defensive, really we think you're cool" which will make him look defensive whether he was or not.
Strategy 3: Make fun of him -usually only to be used if you are sure he can't kick your ass if he gets upset. But always say your insults with a smile on your face and a little slap on his shoulder like it really is just a joke then he will look like the dick if he gets upset. e.g. he makes fun of your broken rucksack: You "yeah why don't you go and buy me a new one bitch" laugh and slap him on the back he either laughs along with it or gets angry and looks like a dick, its a lose lose situation for him either way his value falls.
Treat like this & the hot girl will be getting wet for you. Good luck.
When you are not in the presence of the girl just ignore the guy, he will get the message and leave you alone.
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