Tamara's Journal

[Big_Sky_Guy]

Alright another day in the books.


I have my final tattoo appointment booked for next week then I am officially done! The hubby's was finished on Tuesday and between the two of us WAYYYY to much money was spent on ink.

We know that feel!

[DieselsMom]

Hey DM - looks like you are getting some great workouts in! And I know you had some disappointing days in there with the scale but it looks like a downward trend from what I saw - that is awesome. I'm super jealous!

How are you doing with school starting and working with a somewhat new schedule? I feel like it is going to actually be easier for me to get to the gym than it has been over the summer now that my daughter is in Kindergarten and my little guy is back in pre-school 2x a week.

Keep up the great work!!

So far it hasn't changed to much but with G wanting me to do 6 days a week of cardio think my alarm clock is going to be ringing awfully early just to make sure I get it done and out of the way. School doesn't change much for me cause I work fulltime and the kids are in daycare. G's wife is aweseme and lets me bring the kids to their house when I work out there and they play with their kids while we work out in the basement. I will have to get more incentive to do it on my own because I can't afford to train three times a week with him so I will have to start using my gym membership or the basement. Hubby and I are looking at buying a smith machine and selling our powertek which will open up some more options if I can motovate myself ot work out at home. I am not good at evening workouts as I find once I eat supper I am done for the day and have no get up and go to exercise or do anything.

[DieselsMom]

We know that feel!

Haha good artists are hard to come by and expensive when you do find them! LOL

[DieselsMom]

Okay so to catch up my workout journal which I meant to do before leaving camping and didn't happen here goes:

Thursday was Back/Shoulder/Forearms
Front Pulldowns
60pds x 12, 70 pds x 12, 70 pds x 12

Pulldowns behind Head
50 pds x 12 x 3

Seated Row
50pds x 12, 60 pds x 12, 70pds x 12

Bent DB Row
30 pds x 12/12, 30pds x 12/12

Smith Press behind Neck
10pds x 12, 20pds x 12, 30pds x 12

Arnold Press
15pds x 12, 15pds x 12, 15pds x 9 + 3

Side Lateral
10pds x 12, 10pds x 9+3, 10pds x 9+3

Wrist Curl
45pds x 12 x 2

Rev Wrist Curl
10pds x 15/15, 8pds x 12/12

Friday Legs/Biceps/Calves - we had to zoon through this in 45min cause I had to pick up our new mattress
Leg Press
90pds x 20, 180pds x 20, 270pds x 20 (new personal best)

Squat
95pds x 12, 135pds x 12

DB Deadlift
50pds x 12, 60pds x 12

Ball Bridge Hip Lift w/Smith
40pds x 12, 40pds x 12

EZ Bar Curl
40pds x 12, 40pds x 12

Concentration Curl
15pds x 12/12 x 2

Leg Press Calf
90pds x 15, 180pds x 15

Seated Smith Calf Raise
+50pds x 15/15 x 2

This week I have to motovate myself to go to the gym and start moving weights on my own. The weights don't intimidate me but doing it in front of other people does for some reason but I need to do it. The count down is on and one off day from this weekend has given me 4pds to remove again on top of my 8 I still had to go.

Tomorrow is Tattoo day and it will be done and that is a big weight off my shoulders knowing it is finished and I can get the body moving to rock the bikinis this year!

[DieselsMom]

Yah I went. I made myself go to the gym to workout and plan on doing it again today before my tattoo appointment to get rid of some of the nerves, you would think that after 20+ hours I would be relaxed to go in but nope not at all I swear my heartrate is elevated the entire day.

Chest/Tricep/Ab

Pushups
2 x 15, 1x 12 (two more than last week)

Incline DB Fly - bench might have been too hight but felt it in my pecs.....
20pds x 15 x 2, 20pds x 10

Incline Smith Press - didn't like the machine felt really weak doing these not sure if the bar is weighted differently?
30pds x 8, 20pds x 12, 20pds x 12

Close Grip Pushup on Smith
#6 from group 1 x 12, #7 from ground 2 x 15

OH DB Extension
17.5pds x 15, 22.5pds x 15 x 2

Rope Pressdown
15pds x 15 x 3

Hanging Leg Raise - I like this machine at the gym has the bosu ball back and you can really get a good stretch and contraction
3 x 15

Cross Reach Crunch
3 x 15/15

Cardio: 10% incline 25minutes

So yesterday was a Greek Yoghurt day as I had nothing in my fridge to take for lunch/snacks after camping then just had two leftover buns with PB&J for supper as I wasn't really hungry.

Food: 1823 cals 261g P, 156g C, 12g F
Weight: 139 this morning almost back to normal from camping. The annoying part is I didn't even go crazy and drink/eat lots but gained almost 4 pounds my body is really a mind**** to me on the scale.

[Cardioconvert]

Solid workouts - hope today's tatto appointment goes well!

CCC

[DieselsMom]

Well tattoo is DONE! WAHOO - new avi is the completed tat. I love it. My artist wants me to get some professional shots done once it is healed so he can put in his portfolio plus doing the competition in Oct. Last session was really good because he was all over the place doing the leaves nothing really got to intense.

I ended up going to the gym first to burn off some steam so I did the following on Tues:

Back/Shoulders/Forearms

Front Pulldown
55 x 15, 70 x 10, 60 x 10

Pulldown behind Head
40 x 15, 42.5 x 15, 45x 15

Seated Row
55 x 15, 70 x 15, 70 x 15

Bent DB Row
30 x 12/12, 25x 12/12, 25 x 12/12

Smith Press behind Neck
20 x 12, 25 x 10, 20 x 10

Arnold Press
15 x 12 x 3

Side Lateral
10 x 12 x 3

Wrist Curl
20 x 15/15 x 2, 20 x 12/12

Reverse Wrist Curl
10 x 12/12, 7.5 x 15/15, 74.5 x 12/12

Tues Food: 1484 212g P, 91g C, 29g F
Wed Food: 1494 175g P, 122g C, 35g F
Weight 137

Hoping to see this number to start dropping instead of always jumping up and cutting off the same pounds over and over. I have my kids bday party / summer party this on Sat. We have rented a huge obstacle course bouncer (45 feet long) and hope the weather stays nice so we can spark up a fire later in the evening. My life is going to get a bit crazy in the next few weeeks as my ice scheduler duties become instense to get ice submitted to the hockey association to schedule the games as well as figure out hte practice schedules for our 7 teams. YIKES what was I thinking.

[DieselsMom]

So worked with G yesterday and played around with some of the leg exercises - I got a bit emotional as we spoke on my cutting progress as I am not dropping like i want to but scared to keep pulling out carbs and just eating protein to have the same problem once I hit my goal weight/look not sure what to do. Then we got into the debate about breakfast because I have a Protein Shake for breakfast every day but he wants me to have real food because he things liquid calories don't ramp up my metabolism first thing in the morning but I find that I am so rushed in the morning and really don't want to sacrifice sleep cause that means to cook a breakfast I have to be up atleast half an hour earlier. I know I sound like a sucky baby but I have always been a get up and out the door within 45 minutes of waking up including getting the kids ready but maybe I need to just suck it up and stop being a princess. We also discussed the fact that half of my protein comes from powder instead of solid sources - not sure what to do but trying to eat as much meat as I can but still short most days so have about 2-3 scoops of PP a day. I am scared to set myself up for failure long term - have I already screwed my body up that I am not losing the weight on a caloric deficiency?

Anyways cry baby time over

Legs/Bicep/Calves

Leg Press
90 x 20, 180 x 20, 270 x 20 x 2

Squat
95 x 12

Smith Squat (trying to get deeper without agravating my FAI)
+50 x 12, +70 x 12, +80 x 12

Dumbell Dead
50 x 12

Sumo Dead (switched I didn't like the db dead worried about hitting myself in the crotch with the weight lol)
95 x 12 x 3

Ball Bridge Hip Lift
80 x 12, 90 x 12, 100 x 12

EZ Bar Curl
40 x 12, 45 x 12 x 2

Concentration Curl
15 x 12/12 x 2

Leg Press Calf
90 x 20, 140 x 20, 180 x 20

Seated Smith Calf Raise
+50 x 15/15 x 2

Food: 1481 cals, 184g P, 127g C, 31g F
Weight 137ish


Then today I was back for my second workout and yesterday G and I decided to do another BF test to see what my body has done in the last month since the scale wasn't moving to well. I have put on another 1 pound of LBM and was back down around 16% BF but sitting at 137 pds give or take. However if I take my 132 in June I only had 111pds of LBM and now I am up to 116 so even thought the scale has jumped up half of it has been LBM but still not happy with what I am seeing in teh mirror but I need to relax I think. I am soo hard on myself and I know it but if I didn't want to see something better in the mirror what would motovate me?

Chest/Tri/Ab day
Pushup
1 x 22, 1 x 20, 1 x 12 (another personal best)

Incline Fly
25 x 12 x 2, 25 x 8

Incline Smith Press
+20 x 12, +25 x 12, +30 x 12

Close Grip Smith Press Push UP
#7 1 x 15, #6 1 x 15 x 2

OH DB Extension
25 x 12, 30 x 12, 33 x 12

Rope Pressdown
20 x 12 x 2, 20 x 11

Hanging Pelvic Tilt
3 x 20

Cross reach Crunch
2 x 15

Food: 1446 cals 162g P, 114 g C, 42g F (may still have a PS)
Weight: 137.0

On an exciting note we got our smith machine today so the hubby is taking down the powertec and assembling the smith. Tomorrow is the kids bday party and our summer party so will be a super busy day!

[DieselsMom]

Haven't done much since Friday a couple boughts of cardio. This weekend was a gong show had the kids bday party on Sat which we then turn into a summer party so started at around 2 as I took some friends kids earlier than the party started and we got a 42' obstacle bouncer set up outside our back fence so after a few wobbly pops (well to be honest I didn't need any drinks to get in there) it became a kids and adult toy. I through caution to the wind and didn't really moderate myself as well as I could. I tried to not eat too much of the chips but the icing on the cake was delish and had a few extra mouthfulls of that then just booze - the hubby was mixing every type of shot you could imagine and we were the gineau pigs. Then Sun watched the Riders lose a gain they should have won and did a ****ty on my NFL pool and had another birthday party from 4-8. I had fun at the gymnastics club and got halfway up the rope which I never would have been able to do and a couple of other more athletic things so it was fun.

Weight jumped up but not suprised hoping it will come back down soon. Calories have been a little low the last two days but trying to get back on track.

[Cardioconvert]

We also discussed the fact that half of my protein comes from powder instead of solid sources - not sure what to do but trying to eat as much meat as I can but still short most days so have about 2-3 scoops of PP a day.

On an exciting note we got our smith machine today so the hubby is taking down the powertec and assembling the smith. Tomorrow is the kids bday party and our summer party so will be a super busy day!

Hiya!

Just wanted to chim in so you knew you're not alone in the 'getting the protein' in pursuit. I have mentioned to folks (both on here and at the gym) that I feel the best (performance wise) when I can get as much of my protein macro from food versus supplements, but sometimes, it is extremely hard. I eat quite a bit of greek yogurt / cottage cheese in addition to meat twice a day (usually a chicken breast at lunch and dinner - I am with PunkyCindy's family in that I am starting to kinda hate chicken). I eat canned salmon a lot also.

I try to keep my supplementary protein to one shake per day.

Going forward, I am going to try to incorporate shrimp (a great idea from Slobey) as another great, quick to prepare protein source. I wish I could eat eggs but I am allergic.

Having said all this, though, I can fit these sources in b/c I am not eating at a deficit (right now, between 2200 and 2300 / day) - I will be interested to see how the landscape of my diet changes comes the new year and I start to diet down w/ the guidance of the nutrition guru.

I just wanted you to know you weren't alone in this - I don't think I can really offer any advice except that you will probably feel more energized when taking in 'food' as per G's suggestion.

Glad to hear you got your Smith machine - nice Also, good job with your athletic prowess display at the gymnastics club - cool, bet you were the only mom there able to scramble up the rope!

CC

[DieselsMom]

Yah the limited calories makes a difference. It pretty much needs to be meat or supplement to fit in if I want to have any sort of other foods - I look at everything now going well if that is 20g of P that is 100 calories there what else is in there etc etc. Getting a bit better as I have been having the tuna snack kits for my morning snack and trying to shove in 6 or 7 oz of meat at lunch with some raw veggies but some days I really just want toast. LOL

He is most concerned with my morning meal being a protein shake as he doesn't beleve that kick starts the metabolism as well as having to digest real food - so bought some egg whites yesterday and will try and scramble them and reheat for mornign cause I don't get up early enough to cook and eat before leaving the house.

[DieselsMom]

Happy with my scale this morning finally start to see it slowly progess downwards - I have changed my online weight to the 137 as I have tracked back to that every week so far after cheat day but today finally hit some new territory of 136 only 6 more pounds to my goal! ****ty part is I have dinner out with a girlfriend that I haven't seen in months and now I am already second guessing my meal choices cause I want to see the scale keep going down.

Life has been way to busy to work out the last couple of days and last night I was putting together 4 practice schedules for hockey to encompass a few different scenarios depending on how many teams we end up having which took most of my night. I guess I am going to have to wake up earlier as I can foresee the next 5 months of hockey practices alone are 4 days a week with both kids so unless I find a way to convince myself to workout at 8:30-9pm at night I am just not going to have enough hours in my day.

[DieselsMom]

Wow the scale goddess did not f me over so far with my cheat night but I may have offset that by accident. Again one of my busy days at work and really didn't have time to eat properly - no lunch no afternoon snack before heading out for supper. Had fish tacos and salad for main course which probably wasn't that bad but then topped that off with a couple of lagers and dessert, yum yum. Today was 136.6 back on macro track today.

I am really struggling to find time to work out in my day and I am really not sure how to fix it. I am not a person who likes to workout late in the evening and was really enjoying my 5:15 sessions with G as that seemed to be my optimal time to get out there and lift, no full stomach still have some energy left in the tank before supper and crash time.

I am not a really early morning person so have no desire to do 4:30 or so AM workouts but not sure where else to fit the workouts in. I wonder if my body will care if it is all over the map on when I workout...some mornings, some afternoons, some evenings? Will I find a strength difference and if I start a morning workout can it be fasted as I am not a hungry when I get up hence always having a protein shake....lots of questions with not so many answers yet.

[Cardioconvert]

Hi DM~

I know I find varying workout times hard (some morning / some aft / some evenings) as I like consistency (thrive on it actually) and don't find all workouts are created equal, at least for me, if I vary the time. I find early morning workouts to be my weakest. Initially, I thought it was b/c I was in a fasted state but I am actually starting to think it has to do with my nervous system just not being 'up and running' first thing in the early am. This is my theory b/c I can hit the gym at 7am (after rising at, say 6am), equally fasted (actually, more fasted since it is about 1.5 hours later than my usual weekday workout time) and have a better workout than a 530 session.

That is just me though - don't really know if anyone else finds it.

Good luck finding a time that works for you and your schedule.

CC

[marathonmom262]

Hey DM! Congrats on having the tattoo finished - it looks great! Also looks like you are getting some good workouts in when you can make it. I can obviously totally sympathize with struggling to find the time to get it done lately. I'm the same as you - while I enjoy morning workouts I feel like I am much stronger and more into it if I do an after work session.

Hope you can find something that fits the needs of your schedule, body, and mind soon!

[DieselsMom]

Thanks for the support Ladies - I will have to figure something out.

I managed to get a workout in last night, really wasn't into it but I got through it and threw 20 min of cardio after. It was my first time on our smith machine set up so took some getting used to plus I am spoiled that when I work out with G he does all the work of moving benches, putting weights on and off so I really forgot how tedius that can be

Back/Shoulders/Forearms

Front Pulldown
50 x 15, 55x 15, 60 x 10 (didn't have anything to hold my legs stable and lost good form will have to rejig in future)

Pulldown behind Neck
40 x 15, 45 x 15, 50 x 12

Seated Row
50 x 15, 60 x 15, 70 x 10

Bent Db Row
30 x 15/15, 20 x 15/15 x 2

Smith Press behind Head (not sure what bar weight is on our machine)
bar x 15, +5 x 15, +10 x 12

Arnold Press
20 x 6 x 3 (this was 5 pounds heavier than normal and I just couldn't get it to go but I don't have a 15 pound option at home)

Side Lateral
10 x 12 x 3

Wrist Curl
8 x 20/20 x 3

Reverse Wrist Curl
8 x 15/15 x 3

Cardio - incline TM 20 min

I don't know if it was being at home by myself that didn't have me jazzed or just the way I have been feeling as it has almost been a week since my last weights session and I am dissapointed in myself or was just an off night. Not going to overanalyze it atm and get back on the horse tonight as my kids have early hockey practice and I should be able to get down in the basement by 7-7:30. Might also be time of day??? I am use to a 4-5pm ish workout time so those extra couple of hours may have made the difference?

Today is my first Friday I have worked since starting my new job (I love flex hours) but on a postiive note I get to wear jeans not a three piece suit <3

Food: 1538 cals 197g P, 71g C, 51g F
Weight: 137.6 (up a pound) Mofo scale

[DieselsMom]

Was a good day yesterday got both a workout and cardio in. We went shopping for most of the day hubby and son split up then me and my daughter. We were trying to find outfits for our family photos getting done on Monday. Well I thought I was sooo sharp I bought my outfit before my daughter (who is 5 going on 16) which was a lovely cream/brown sweater with brown leggings and belt then she decides she wants a black dress with grey leggings....not really co-ordinated so I then grabbed a grey sweater from another store and bought a cute red belt to go with it to find out my husband went with blue... lol it was all over the map. Guess I will figure it out before picture time.

Legs/Biceps/Calves
I was all over the place because it was the hubby and I trying to work out at the same time.

EZ Bar Curl
40 x 15, 45 x 15 x 2

Squat in Smith
We still don't have our olympic bar yet should be picking it up today or tomorrow (a friend of our trainer is selling his with 200 pds of weight for $75 can't go wrong with that)
95 x 15, 115 x 15, 135 x 15

Leg Press - I laid on the floor and used the smith machine as a press - worked not bad
135 x 20, 225 x 20, 275 x 20

Ball Bridge Hip Lift - again another switch up because our safeties on the smith don't allow it to go down low enough to get under so kept weight lighter but went more reps
45pds on hips x 20 x 3

Sumo Deadlift
85 x 15, 115 x 15, 135 x 15

Calf Raises - tried to do with smith like leg press no go so just did on the stairs - again no weight to high reps
BW x 50 x3

Concentration Curl
10 x 15/15 x 3

Cardio - took Athena for a 4km run. Was a bit wussy but after the legs, probably not enough food and a side cramp that stayed the whole run I decided it was good enough.

Food: 1519 cals, 162g P, 114c C, 56g F
weight: pissing me off still at 137

As the weight doesn't really seem to be moving I am getting a bit stressed that I am not going to meet my goal of 130 by mid Oct for the tat show. I am not sure what to do and am really frustrated. I am eating well only having the one cheat meal but the scale just doesn't want to move. We did pics yesterday morning and I need ot be brave enough to post them so I can see muscle progress. I like my top half it is lean, started to muscle up but just don't seem to be moving any of the silly fat on the lower half. My husband says he can see the difference but I sure as heck can't. I know there is the muscle building under as I am getting the nice rounded ham and quad definition is starting to show as well as my calves but still have that layer of fat over it all that makes it so disappointing to look at.

[DieselsMom]

I acheived my weekend goal, I did get two workouts in so now don't feel as bad about not getting it in during the week. I have two sessions booked with G so that is going to force two days for sure in my wonderful schedule but will try and fit another two in somewhere.

Chest/Triceps/Abs

Pushups
1 x 22, 1 x 20, 1 x 15 (three more than last time!)

Incline DB Fly
25 x 15 x 3 need to go heavier but had a hard time figuring out the powerblocks to get it to incrementally go up instead of a ten pound change

Incline Smith Press
+20 x 12, +25 x 10, +25 x 8 (was stupid looked at training notes and instead of adding 10 pounds per side loaded 20 pounds per side then pushed out 4 before I realized why it was so F'ing hard)

Close Grip Push UP on Smith
#7 x 20, #6 x 15, #6 x 12

High DB Extension
25 x 15 x 3 (another one I need to figure incremental weight changes on)

Rope Pressdown
20 x 10, 20 x 8, 20 x 8

Lying Leg Raise on Bench
3 x 15

Cross Reach Crunches
3 x 15/15

Food: 1697 cals, 161 g P, 128g C, 54g F
Weight this am: mofo 138pds up again

This morning I did get out of bed at 5am and did my cardio first thing and cooked up some eggs so it was a mixed breakfast of an scrambled egg buritto and PS to get my first meal in hopefully that helps as G wanted me to get "read" protein in my body in the morning to start my metabolism for the day. I also made up three more servings so I just need to reheat before eating.

I just don't get it I am consistantly in a deficit yet I don't see my numbers following suit - what am I doing wrong or is my body just stuck at this set point and I need to continue on to move forward? I posted pics in my progress gallery and I obviously still have lots of fat on my thighs and butt so not sure why the body is being such a sh!t. I am worried of becoming carb scared again as really that is all I can pull out of my diet, for the most part my fats are coming from all healthy/normal sources no real added oils/sugars.

[Cardioconvert]

Hi DM

I'll pop by your body space to look at your pics - I bet you're being very hard on yourself.

Is G actually prescribing your diet or simply giving you targets? Also, hate to be nosy, but is nutrition his strength? I know when I connected w/ the Pro who is going to work w/ me in the new year, she was very clear that she would do the training piece as that is her strength but her husband will craft my diet - he does hers + athletes galore in multiple arenas of athletics (i.e. hockey players, bb gals / guys, track athletes, etc).

I have overheard a lot of guys for whom I have respect for their programs / approaches to exercise, give some really poor (in my estimation) advice on nutrition (very bro sciencey).

I was hoping one of the nutrition gurus on this site (Kimm4, freebird, etc) would read about his comment about kick starting your metabolism and bring their thoughts - it just didn't resonate with me, but then again, my nutrition knowledge is quite limited.

You seem really frustrated so I was wondering about his experience working with athletes.

CC

[DieselsMom]

He has trained multiple athletes to the stage as well as himself for many years.

I don't believe his thoughts are too far off other than they are old school in the sense that they look at protein vs energy carbs then tweak from there. Basically the diet is set up at 1710 cals per day with 50% of my calories to come from protein sources and the rest energy sources (carbs/fats). Because of apps like MFP and the like I have equated that to be around 180g of protein a day because it actually breaks out the other parts of the calories that the old method doesn't. IE: 4cals per gram would be 200g of protein a day but if I break it out by just applying his method I would be around 60%+.

I am still at a deficit at 1700 cals which really should have my weight coming down no matter what. I know since June I have added some LBM (6 pds) but I could still actually lose to be around 130pds and not be stick thin.

I don't know I just feel at a loss....and like a loser.

[jjeane]

Well I sure don't think you are a loser. Look at that BACK!!! I think you should pitch the scale, and I am sure that is not what you want to hear. It just can't look at the darn thing.
For breakfast, can you choke down oatmeal? I put 1/4 c oatmeal in a bowl with 1/2 c water. Nuke for 3 min. Add 1/2 c yogurt and 1/2 a scoop of PP oh and 2 T ground flax. It is 322 cal with 25 P, 30 C, and 12 F. I make y own yogurt so you could save on some of the fat with store bought NF yogurt. Then you could say you had real food with your PP!!
Don't get to down about the scale.

[DieselsMom]

Thanks Jani - we are definitely our biggest detractors aren't we. No bias at all when looking in the mirror or stepping on the scale LOL

This morning with my scrambled egg wrap I added 210cals which was 31g P, 15g C, 2.5g F and added a single scoop protein shake to up the protein amount. Normally would be a double scoop. I also made up two containers of egg whites this morning so all I have to do is nuke them tomorrow etc.

[Cardioconvert]

Okay - checked out your photos and you are being too hard on yourself. In fact, I don't think I'd lose much more weight if I were you. Scales should be banned.

CC

[DieselsMom]

It isn't necessarily the weight but the body fat being carried on my thighs and bum that I want to get rid of, I know I can't build muscle as fast as you lose fat so there should be some give and take on the scale.

Thanks ladies - I do appreciate your input.

[Cardioconvert]

Okay - I getcha now. I thought you were stressing over reaching a certain number.

I am sure you and G can fine tune the approach to re-kick-start your body's responses to diet / training to your satisfaction (remembering, of course, that we are our own worse critics )

CC

[DieselsMom]

Alright so workout first then I will unload with my fears.

Back/Shoulders/Forearm

Front Pulldown
50 x 15, 55 x 15, 60 x 10 Not making much progress on these as I would like.

Pulldown behind head
50 x 15, 50 x 15, 50 x 12

Seated Row
50 x 15, 60 x 12, 70 x 14

Bent DB Row
25 x 15/15 x 2, 25 x 12/12

Smith Press Behind Neck
Bar (45pds I think) x 15, +5 x 15, +10 x 12

Arnold Press
15 x 12, 15 x 10, 15 x 8 not sure what is up with these but I am getting worse not better?

Side Lateral
10 x 10 x 2, 10 x15 made myself push it out, another one where I feel I am going backwards

Wrist Curls
8 x 20/20 x 3

Reverse Wrist Curls
8 x 15/15 x 3

Food: 1525 cals, 143g P, 95g C, 62g F
Didn't eat enough in the evening, had the family pictures and then wen't out for supper at BP's. It was either pick something that was way over my cal/macros or pick the chopped chicken salad which was way under but was planning on having a PS after my workout then because it was 9:30pm when I finished I forgot so dug into a couple handfuls of nuts at 10:30 before bed. Head shake but could have been worse.

Weight: 137.8

Ok. My fear is that I will never be able to eat normally. I fear that I will always have to watch everything that goes in my mouth and weight every item and count every calorie. I don't want my daughter to learn that. I want her to learn what healthy eating is and moderation. I fear that I will make my own children have a bad relationship with food. I fear that I will balloon again when I go back to what should be maintenance calories as I am not losing at 1700 so what would happen at around 2100 for maintenance?

It constantly runs around in my head that I am failing at what I set out to do. I DO see muscles being built where there was none but the fact that my measurements aren't really changing and that I know I can't gain muscle at the same porportion that I am losing fat my scale should be going down. Not necessarily quickly but definitely going down. My pants still feel tight in the waist since my gain of 10+ pounds since June.

In Sept so far I have done week 1 - 2 cardio and 3 weight sessions; week 2 - 3 cardio and 4 weight sessions; week 3 - 4 cardio and 2 weight sessions but haven't seen a single loss of a pound. I have bounced between 137 and 139 throughout. What does that mean to me in the future. If I don't get atleast 5 sessions of physical activity and eat at a constant deficit in I will become fat again?

[jjeane]

I know this fear. You will not get fat unless you consistently eat way to much. Have you thought of putting the scale away for a month, do your workouts, eat right and take measurements once a week instead? I think as you get going in this lifestyle you will find a happy medium, unless you have a specific goal in mind. Most people eat the same things all the time. You will learn what you like and what portions you can have. See I think you are losing at 1700 if your clothes fit better. I am no expert but do not get down!!!

[marathonmom262]

I hear you DM - unfortunately I have a lot of the same fears. I found myself going in cycles though, I would find myself ramping up the effort and cutting back on nutrition even more and not seeing results so I'd take a step back to let my body reset and then start over. I felt like I was finally at a decent place where I had broken my habit of cycle craziness by consistently eating around 1700, really watching my cheat night for over-indulgence (and thus cancelling out progress), and not giving in to the urge to ramp up cardio. I finally saw the scale creeping back down - then I got pregnant haha. I'd love to hear what some of the other ladies have for you as far as advice on this - I definitely feel the same way you do and I don't want to spend my life on my phone tracking my macros forever just to "at least stay the same" out of fear. Hang in there - you are making progress and you look awesome - don't let your fear take away the victory of the great progress you are making!

[Cardioconvert]

Hi DM

Your entry is hard to read b/c I can feel your frustration, but I commend you on vocalizing your concerns. I also have the highest respect for your concerns about influencing your children's relationship with food. This is something all us moms need to keep in mind.

Please keep reminding yourself that you are building muscles. That you are strong. That you are not failing, you're just working through a plateau. We are so hard on ourselves.

Remember that we are blessed in that we can workout and have healthy bodies. I"ll tell a little marathoning story in which I think God was telling me to smarten up: London Forest city marathon, 2007 - set out to get my Boston Qualifier. It was in reach. My training cycle was bang on. Time trials indicated that this was going to be my race. I was in the best shape of my life.

It didn't go well. I started crying around the 35km mark and collapsed about 20 feet from the finish line. Got up, hobbled to the finish. I was so angry - at everything - running, the course, myself, my foot (turned out to be broken), the weather, EVERYTHING.

Crossed over the finish line and a young boy (11/12) in a wheelchair (the race is in support of the Thames River Children's Health centre) put my medal on my neck and said "good job lady, you run really well". I felt about 2 inches tall. How could I be sad when I have a healthy, strong, fully functioning body that carried me 42 km? And this boy, unable to walk, thought I had done something so cool. From that day forward, every time I run or lift, I give a quiet thanks for my healthy body.

I know the scale is hard to deal with (I had my issue earlier in the week - you know that ) but I think we need to focus on this: Ask yourself what you did today that someone else didn't or couldn't - and appreciate that you can.

CC

[marathonmom262]

Love that story CC - it really does put it all in perspective doesn't it?

It reminded me of a similar "moment" for me about 10 years ago. It was a hot icky summer afternoon and I had done 4 hilly slow miles on the trail and just suffered through it. As I was stretching and snarking to myself about my miserable run a man in his 70s finished his run with a smile on his face and jumped up to slap the "pedestrian crossing" sign where the trail met up with the road. I noticed he was wearing an ultra marathon t-shirt. I said "another one done huh?" to him as he passed by. His smile got even bigger and he responded with "Yep - and God willing another couple thousand to go." He was obviously grateful for the opportunity to run that day and I knew I should have been more grateful as well. Another day - another opportunity for greatness and appreciation in what we have. Thanks for the reminder