My journey to find balance

[jjeane]

I am still laughing at the text message!
Way to go on the meeting MM. That is so awesome that they emailed your boss as well.
Nice workout. That RDL +90 is nice. How are the hammies?
I would take comfy from my kids any day.

[marathonmom262]

I am still laughing at the text message!
Way to go on the meeting MM. That is so awesome that they emailed your boss as well.
Nice workout. That RDL +90 is nice. How are the hammies?
I would take comfy from my kids any day.

Thanks! Haha - last night while cuddling before bedtime my son was rubbing my hand and said "you're so nice and soft mommy". It was cute

I was shocked my legs didn't feel dead yesterday at all - usually when I haven't gotten to the gym in about a week and get back in there I feel pretty beat after a workout but I felt really high energy all day. Only before bed did I notice a little heaviness in my triceps. Then I went to get out of bed this morning - everything is feeling pretty stiff today. Everything. Good stuff though - it makes me feel like I did good work yesterday!

[marathonmom262]

Quick accountability update!

Yesterday's nutrition:
Cals - 1495
P - 118 (My highest in a while although I did have protein powder after my workout in the morning so that helped a lot!)
C - 178
F - 25 (I need to do a better job at getting my fats just a little higher and my carbs a little lower)

Not a bad day - was right at my 1500 cal mark so I'm happy.

Active day ahead - train and metro commuting for work this afternoon and a late night home after meetings running late into the day. It means I will get some good activity in, which I need as I've got some good DOMS going on from yesterday's workout and don't want to get too stiff.

Hoping I can get my booty out of bed fairly early tomorrow morning to hit the gym. I'm going to do my full body WO but decrease the weights to the "medium" WO - usually when I can only get 2 days in a week I do both at high, 3 days a week are suppose to be high/med/low - I just don't want to be walking around really sore Saturday in my super high new heels at the wedding so I'm going to cut back a little bit.

Happy Thursday to all - hope you have a great day!

[Redfizz]

Thanks for sharing about your relationship with us, Marathonmom. It kind of sheds some light on my situation. I was big ever since I was 13 and finally topped at ~200+ about six or seven years ago. I was made fun of, mocked, etc. So I did a big 40-day juice fast and lost 20 pounds then switched to eating raw and went to ~128. Suddenly people were treating me differently! They were kind and sweet. And so I became obsessed.

My honey liked me both at 200 and 128, but he would do the same thing: Bring in super rich foods that I couldn't resist. Next thing I know, I am back at 150-160 and depressed. He kept stressing that he didn't want to feel my hip bones and rib cage and spine any more. I cried and cried about the weight gain.

Luckily he suggested we get a gym for the basement, so I jumped in with both feet. My body is shifting, and I am not "losing weight" yet, but my butt is higher, my bewbs are "perkier", there's no more jiggle in my arms, and I am stronger than ever. Granted the broken ankle was a downer, but life happens. Now that I have muscles across my chest verses ribs, I am finally starting to understand what he's talking about.

It's still a struggle to not get lost in the #s - scale, reps, days, etc. But I am slowly coming around. Balance is SO difficult!

[marathonmom262]

Thanks for sharing about your relationship with us, Marathonmom. It kind of sheds some light on my situation. I was big ever since I was 13 and finally topped at ~200+ about six or seven years ago. I was made fun of, mocked, etc. So I did a big 40-day juice fast and lost 20 pounds then switched to eating raw and went to ~128. Suddenly people were treating me differently! They were kind and sweet. And so I became obsessed.

My honey liked me both at 200 and 128, but he would do the same thing: Bring in super rich foods that I couldn't resist. Next thing I know, I am back at 150-160 and depressed. He kept stressing that he didn't want to feel my hip bones and rib cage and spine any more. I cried and cried about the weight gain.

Luckily he suggested we get a gym for the basement, so I jumped in with both feet. My body is shifting, and I am not "losing weight" yet, but my butt is higher, my bewbs are "perkier", there's no more jiggle in my arms, and I am stronger than ever. Granted the broken ankle was a downer, but life happens. Now that I have muscles across my chest verses ribs, I am finally starting to understand what he's talking about.

It's still a struggle to not get lost in the #s - scale, reps, days, etc. But I am slowly coming around. Balance is SO difficult!

Awwww - big hugs to you Red. I don't think I've ever quite been comfortable in my own skin (maybe who is really?) - but I know what you mean about finally getting it. I don't know that I've ever wanted to be really skinny - my genetics are fairly muscular and crazy skinny just isn't really a possibility (I'll have to find some fat free pictures of me as a kid - my daughter is exactly the same way - her abs, lats, and shoulders are crazy compared to any other kid - she puts the boys to shame)

I think the proof of the understanding is that our goals/efforts are towards a healthy fit body image. So sad how people treat others differently based on how they look isn't it?

[gobbles23]

Happy Thursday!

Great job with the caloreis! Hope you have a wonderful day today!

[marathonmom262]

Happy Thursday!

Great job with the caloreis! Hope you have a wonderful day today!

Thanks Lori! I was a crazy traveling machine yesterday but it was a pretty good day


Likely my last update until next week. Yesterday I was over on cals but not too bad. I was traveling and had to eat lunch and dinner on the road at off times - I did my best but came home and indulged a little bit. Yep - another pecan pie showed up at my house. I had a small piece because I was actually a little hungry and after so much time on my feet yesterday I decided it was okay to go over a little

This morning we dropped my car off for an oil change. Usually I run the 9 miles home but I wasn't up for that today. Plus it's COLD outside and I wasn't in the mood to spend that much time running (it would have taken forever with my pitiful endurance lately!) So... I had hubs follow me and then drop me off at the gym after we left my car! I got a full body workout in and then ran home. Silly me didn't quite deload as much as planned (sometimes I'm just a big dumb animal who refuses to cut back) so my hamstrings weren't really pleased with the run and I'll likely be mad at myself tomorrow. But - good work put in today!

Yesterday's nutrition:
Cals - 1709
P - 94
C - 221
F - 47 (hello pecan pie!)

Today's workout:

Squat (Smith)
1x8 @ +30
1x8 @ +50
2x8 @ +80 (I was smart and did deload here a bit my inner legs are still feeling some DOMS so the bottom of the squat was tight)

BP (Smith)
1x8 @ +10
1x8 @ +20
2x8 @ +40

OHP (Smith)
2x8 @ +20

RDL (Smith)
1x8 @ +20
1x8 @ +50
2x8 @ +90

Bent over Row (Smith)
2x8 @ +40 (cut those warmups, was really able to pull through the lats on both working sets so good deal)

BB Curl (straight bar)
2x8 @40

I skipped the calf raises today since I was running home.

Cardio: 1.6 mile run home

So this weekend we are heading to a wedding - excited to see the family - my extended family is pretty fun I don't plan on tracking my nutrition tomorrow as it will be too tough to estimate the wedding dinner, etc. I may not track Sunday as well as we're sticking around to go to a BBQ at my aunt and uncle's house for lunch before coming back home. I figured I will probably do a better job just not tracking and trying to make good choices rather than tracking and trying to justify another glass of wine

I'm not sure what I'm going to do as far as workout next week - technically I'm supposed to move up in reps to 9 rep sets but I may do one more week at 8 before progressing in the cycle - I'm afraid I may get frustrated if I start moving up in reps and just start failing utterly when I'm at the 10-12 rep weeks. Not sure - I think I've got it in me to move on to 9 so I don't want to hold myself back being all skerrrrrred

Have a great weekend everyone!

[gobbles23]

The cold ruins my motivation to go outside! I usually go for walks during my lunch break, but since my computer got set-up it's so much easier to sit here and browse the forums instead Beautiful day out though- I may go for a quick one

Cals still look great! Have a great weekend! Sounds like fun!

[marathonmom262]

The cold ruins my motivation to go outside! I usually go for walks during my lunch break, but since my computer got set-up it's so much easier to sit here and browse the forums instead Beautiful day out though- I may go for a quick one

Cals still look great! Have a great weekend! Sounds like fun!

Thanks Lori! Agreed on the cold really cutting the motivation - bah! Always good to get a little sunshine and fresh air in if you can though.

Fun will definitely be had tomorrow - hilarious family + drinks = lots of laughter and craziness

Wondering how crazy it might actually get - it is the wedding of one of my younger cousins (she is 25 and her brother is 22) - lots of young cowboy boot wearing kids (she's a sassy little hairdresser) and military guys (her fiance is in the air force) - I have a feeling I may need to hide my kids' eyes at some point in the evening

[DieselsMom]

Sounds like a blast to me, I am sure your kids like mine will be totally oblivious to most of the stuf going on around them and just be having fun. I definietly think this weekend is an enjoy yourself weekend and do not worry about your calories. How many weddings like this do you get to attend. I know for us we are pretty much through all of our relatives weddings and only have a few hangeroners that either A: will not marry or B: will not marry. Haha.

[marathonmom262]

I know for us we are pretty much through all of our relatives weddings and only have a few hangeroners that either A: will not marry or B: will not marry. Haha.

Hahaha - I hear ya! We had a family reunion at the beach with the same side of the family this summer - we had to schedule something because we haven't had any weddings in a while and fortunately no one had passed away in about 3 years. Sad but true - everyone gets together for weddings and funerals, we're about out of weddings (after this only one more cousin to go), so that unfortunately leaves funerals. Hopefully my cousin Michael (the 22 year old brother of the bride) will mature up someday soon and get married before the last two of the older generation passes (my grandfather and my great aunt).

I don't think my BIL and any of my husbands cousins will ever get married, so we're completely done with weddings on my husband's side too

[Cardioconvert]

Hiya

Hope you are having a wonderful weekend - I know you'll be too busy to drop in, just wanted to say "Hi" and I am all up to date on your journal - thanks for sharing about your hubs. It is a difficult 'balancing' thing isn't it? My husband has been wonderful but he too expresses concerns - I love him to bits for it and I know he is always watching out for me (I, er, sometimes go overboard on things )

CC

[Redfizz]

I hope you're having a great time! Saw that you mentioned wine in Luvdogs' journal. Mmmm...wine.

Have a great trip!

[marathonmom262]

Thanks CC and Red! We had a great weekend! My kids are party animals - they danced until the last dance (of course my little guy zonked out in the car 2 minutes into the ride back to the hotel).

Pretty cool to watch my little cousin, who was the junior bridesmaid in my own wedding 10 years ago, get married. She and my uncle (my favorite uncle!) did the best father daughter dance I've ever seen - it was really cute. They shocked my aunt who had no idea they had been practicing. I still cry when I watch it because you can just see my cousin completely break down and cry when they start slow dancing again after their surprise routine. You can see it here if you are interested:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3ccqF6csts

Edit: I just noticed my daughter in this video - she obviously was not happy enough standing still and watching a dance - she is the blond little girl apparently practicing her pole dancing at the start of the video hahaha

I did really great making choices over the weekend - who knows what the calorie counts ended up being but I was flawless with the reception dinner, no cake, 2 glasses of wine total. I also chose only one "treat" on my plate at the BBQ on Sunday, I stuck to fruit, some cheese squares, BBQ with no roll, some coleslaw, and treated myself to pepper jack mac n cheese (instead of potato salad which also looked delish!). Sadly the mac n cheese wasn't really worth the splurge, but that's okay. Plus Sunday nights are my big treat night usually and I didn't go full out on my treat, just had some FF chocolate ice cream and one glass of wine with our TV show which wasn't a big overboard treat.

I'm totally back to tracking nutrition today and doing good. I've decided I might up my cals a bit, at least on lifting days. I'm struggling to get protein in with my current 1500 a day goal, so I might aim for about 1700 most days of the week. My activity is back up pretty decent, so 1700 should still be a really good deficit to lose on - I can adjust back down a bit if needed, but I figured that gives me my protein powder on lifting days without cutting into regular food calories too much and making me hungry.

So today's workout - moving up to 9 reps per set this week. Aiming for 3 full body workouts this week so today is the heaviest of the 3.

Squat (Smith)
1x9 @ +30
1x9 @ +50
2x9 @ +90 (Feeling back in control of these again!)

BP (Smith)
1x9 @ +10
1x9 @ +20
2x9 @ +40

OHP (Smith)
1x9 @ +20
1x7 @ +20, +2 reps
This was sucky today for some reason. I'm going to struggle to get past 35 lbs - likely will be here during the next cycle of this program but that's okay. Working at it...

RDL (Smith)
1x9 @ +20
1x9 @ +50
2x9 @ +90

Bent over Row (Smith)
2x9 @ +40

Calf raise (on leg press sled)
2x12 @180

BB Curl (straight bar)
2x9 @40

Today's extra fun work:
DB OH Tricep Press
2x12 @20

Overall a good workout - planning to hit it up again tomorrow for some cardio. A bit bummed about my weak OHP but I know that I'm doing what I can and I WILL get stronger. Just gotta keep at it!

Happy Monday to all - will catch up with everyone's journals tomorrow hopefully!

[Redfizz]

Pretty cool to watch my little cousin, who was the junior bridesmaid in my own wedding 10 years ago, get married. She and my uncle (my favorite uncle!) did the best father daughter dance I've ever seen - it was really cute. They shocked my aunt who had no idea they had been practicing. I still cry when I watch it because you can just see my cousin completely break down and cry when they start slow dancing again after their surprise routine. You can see it here if you are interested:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3ccqF6csts

Best father/daughter dance EVER!

[Echo814]

Hey MM!

Thank you for sharing about your relationship. I think at different points in a marriage moments like that happen and its up to the couple to work them out. This happened at the beginning of this year for me and we came so close to not making it. I honestly think if things can be worked on a resolved it can make the relationship so much stronger You are absolutely right, life is a about balance and compromise.

Nice workout! OHP is one of the exercises that most woman have issues with. It will be the slowest to progress along with BP for most. When I had my home gym I bought 1lb baseball bat weights to put on the ends of the bar and it helped with progression when 5lb increases were not possible (I was able to do 5lbs increases until I hit about 70lbs on OHP)

[dreahere]

<3 <3 <3 the video. No wonder you were excited to go to the wedding...your family is apparently awesome.

Good job sticking to your eating plan, too!

[DieselsMom]

That was amazing MM - video made me cry what an awesome Dad/Daughter combo super sweet.

Great work sticking to your guns and enjoying yourself but not going overboard and awesome workout to boot. Keep it up.

[marathonmom262]

Best father/daughter dance EVER!

I know right?!! That's exactly what I posted on ******** right afterwards haha

No wonder you were excited to go to the wedding...your family is apparently awesome.

My family is indeed awesome! I think from the time I hit my teenage years I really appreciated family reunions more - we are one big crazy bunch and it's really great to just watch the awesomeness grow as we all continue to have our own kids - gotta be cool for the older generations to watch!

That was amazing MM - video made me cry what an awesome Dad/Daughter combo super sweet.

Seriously DM - I absolutely cry every time I go back and watch it. I was bawling my eyes out watching her cry before they even started their routine. My uncle was apparently telling her that whole time "you've gotta stop crying, we're getting ready to dance!" Family stuff makes me cry like a baby - when you love people so much you can't help but cry when you share in their joys and their sadness.

Thank you for sharing about your relationship. I think at different points in a marriage moments like that happen and its up to the couple to work them out. This happened at the beginning of this year for me and we came so close to not making it. I honestly think if things can be worked on a resolved it can make the relationship so much stronger You are absolutely right, life is a about balance and compromise.

Nice workout! OHP is one of the exercises that most woman have issues with. It will be the slowest to progress along with BP for most. When I had my home gym I bought 1lb baseball bat weights to put on the ends of the bar and it helped with progression when 5lb increases were not possible (I was able to do 5lbs increases until I hit about 70lbs on OHP)

Thanks for commenting on this - sometimes I worry when I put personal stuff out there that people will think "okay, girl needs to just keep that crap to herself" I think I worry so much about the balance and compromise with my family because that issue is still so fresh in my mind and in my heart I can't help but dive right in and unleash when it surfaces in hopes it a) helps someone else and b) maybe prompts someone to help me see something in a different or better light. I'm always open to the opinions and thoughts of others, at least I'd like to think so (hubs may disagree haha)

I'm glad to hear you chime in about OHP and BP being the slowest to progress. That makes me feel a lot better - I've really been feeling pretty awful about it. Maybe because I know what I did when I was younger and lifting often. In college I had to take a circuit training class to meet my course requirements, they did a fitness test for everyone and I had the record of strongest BP across all females in all classes at 145lbs. My "professor" for that class was the track coach and he loved that a cheerleader had the strongest BP haha. Not that I was repping 145 - but thinking about that makes me feeling pretty darn weak now!

I'm tempted to buy my own little 1lb plates to take to the gym - we have 2.5lb plates at the Smith machines, but that does mean 5 lb increments keeping both sides the same - not sure what it would feel like with an extra 2.5 plate added to just one side of the Smith bar - any thoughts?

Quick update...

Monday's nutrition:
Cals -1630
P - 137
C - 194
F - 43
YAY for higher protein!!! You can tell I finally got some greek yogurt in the fridge - my highest cal meal of the day was a cup of yogurt, half a scoop of chocolate protein power, some PB2, and some chocolate chips when I came home from the gym. Super yum! Also liked having a goal of 1700 instead of 1500 for cals, we'll see how it works out. Waiting until next week to see what the scale looks like and adjust as necessary as my buddy TOM arrived today, hoping he'll take some extra water with him when he leaves...

Tuesday's WO session - Cardio fun:
30 minutes Arc trainer

Hope all are having a great Tuesday - sorry I've done a terrible job catching up on journals coming out of the weekend, hoping to catch up on everyone's tomorrow assuming the work day is a bit slower!

[Luvdogs]

Hi MM, I loved that video. Made me cry too. I am always a crier with father/daughter things. My dad passed away when I was 15 months old, so I never knew him. That was such a great moment for them that they will always remember.

Your Greek yogurt sounds delicious! I have it every day as my afternoon snack and put 5 gr of cocoa and a packet of stevia in it. Sometimes I add some almond/peanut butter (depending on cals).

[marathonmom262]

Hi MM, I loved that video. Made me cry too. I am always a crier with father/daughter things. My dad passed away when I was 15 months old, so I never knew him. That was such a great moment for them that they will always remember.

Your Greek yogurt sounds delicious! I have it every day as my afternoon snack and put 5 gr of cocoa and a packet of stevia in it. Sometimes I add some almond/peanut butter (depending on cals).

Hi Julia, thanks for reading! I'm sorry to hear that you did not have a chance to know your father. I know so many of us take our family for granted, my husband never knew any of his grandfathers and he really envies the relationship I have been able to have with all of my grandparents, but he also has taken my own family as his and enjoys the times that he gets to spend with my Granddad

Crazy lady update...

So the days have been fairly busy this week between me trying to get things done for work, fitting in my workouts (3 days in a row - this is so good for me!), and trying to get family stuff taken care of. Yesterday I ended up really undereating - I had two snacks after dinner so that I didn't end up under 1000 cals for the day (I know! I know!) Today is turning out just as crazy but hubs is staying on top of it and I did get some eggs when I got home from the gym and he is now cooking me a chicken wrap to make sure I am getting my proteins and cals in He's a good man!

Yesterdays nutrition:
Cals - 1256
P - 137
C - 139
F - 20
Yay for a high protein and low carb day at the very least! Lately when I've been undereating due to my crazy schedule I usually end up super low on protein so I'm glad that was not the case.

Wednesday's workout: Full body 10% (-ish) deload

I downloaded a new app on my iPhone to track my workouts - it's called JeFit. It seems like a pretty good app, although I'd like to find a way to way to preload the weights in there. I might just set it up as if accomplished before I hit the gym and then adjust the weight/reps for the sets as necessary on the fly. I found myself having to go back for what I had entered for Monday's workout as a starting point to figure out what weights to use for my 2 progressive warmup sets, see my working set weights, then do the math to determine the 10% deload, then subtract 15 and divide by 2 to figure out what to put on each side of the bar. So no wonder I messed up some math today (see below...) Instead of showing weights added to the bar I'm just showing totals from now on...

Squat (Smith)
1x9 @ 45
1x9 @ 65
2x9 @ 95

BP (Smith)
1x9 @ 25
1x9 @ 35
2x9 @ 50

OHP (Smith)
1x7 @ 45 (bad math - I was like hey, this should feel lighter today - yeah it was 10lbs heavier than usual, not 5lbs less...)
1x6 @ 35 (still bad math - I should have done 30 because of the deload - sheesh!)
1x9 @ 35 (I just wanted to get through and finish a set of 9, so a bit more volume than intended overall but oh well - I got through it just fine which was good!)

SLDL (Smith)
1x9 @ 45
1x9 @ 65
2x9 @ 95

Bent over Row (Smith)
2x9 @ 50

BB Curl (straight bar)
2x9 @40 (didn't want to deload all the way down to 30 so just stuck with the two sets at 40)

Today's extra fun:
DB Lateral raises SS with DB Front Raises
2x10 @10s

I skipped the calf raises today - I think I have just been stiffening up a bit and tweaked my ankle when I got out of bed this morning. I have no idea what I did, but I felt really tender all around my ankle and pointing my toe made the pain throb all up my leg and around my foot. Really weird. I still felt like I could get through my workout no problem overall and actually felt better afterward. I'm hoping it doesn't impact tomorrow morning's 5k...

So my 5 yo daughter and I are doing a Turkey Trot 5k together tomorrow morning - her first race ever. A friend and her son who is also 5 yo are going to do it with us (he and my daughter have been little buddies since they were born) - it should be fun. We just signed ourselves up and not the kids technically to save money but we're going to let them wear the shirts, etc. It should be a fun morning I had bought Cam a little sweatband to match the kind that I have for running so that she will feel like a little runner girl - I don't know who is more excited - her or me!

Happy holiday to all here in the states. Enjoy the good foodz - I'm planning to track the best I can. We are going to a relative's house so I figure this is my holiday meal I can be "good" and save up for my splurging when we go to my mom's house for Christmas dinner when I'll want more of the fatty home cooking that my mom will have haha I will definitely indulge in a glass or two of wine tomorrow though! Plenty of things to toast - I have a lot to be thankful for!

[Redfizz]

Have fun on the run with your little one! How exciting!

[gobbles23]

Gah! How did I miss so much!? I've been bored to death all day and could have totally caught up in here and everything but I didn't even realize you had posted in the past few days! Boo! Going to go catch up, then I'll edit

Aww, it's so nice that you're close to your family! I have a large family, and I love it when everyone gets together! It's awesome I can't wait to have children and make it even bigger! Hahaha! Would love to watch that video when I get home!

Have fun tomorrow! And happy holidays to you!

[jjeane]

MM, what a great video!!! I cried. Love her dress by the way.
Some nice looking workouts as well. Have tomorrow with the 5K and the little ones. It should be interesting. Have a great Thanksgiving!!

[DieselsMom]

Have fun tomorrow running with your daughter.

Happy Gobble Gobble day!

[Echo814]

Hey MM! Happy Thanksgiving!

[geek23ka]

how was the run? happy thanksgiving!

[vanessa40]

How wonderful that your daughter is doing the Turkey Trot with you. I hope you had a great race. I ran in mine yesterday..i wrote about it in my journal..sad i must say but i will get better. I am going to check out that app you spoke of..thanks..and sorry i have not checked in ..i am trying to get back on track now

[dreahere]

Hope your race was fun!

[rickiecoombs]

Hey MM!

So, I meant to write in your journal a couple of weeks ago (because even though I am a delinquent poster, I DO read your journal!) and for some reason I didn’t. I can’t remember why.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, I wrote a big long post, and my computer deleted it on me. Which is code for: my fingers probably hit the wrong key and threw everything away, and I had no idea to get it back. And at the time, I didn’t have time to rewrite it. So here I am again. Hopefully this goes better than last time.

I just wanted to echo others’ appreciation for your frankness about your relationships, and life in general. It really struck a chord with me, when I was reading about significant others, and their effect on lifting/cutting/etc.

I am in awe of you ladies who are doing this without your SO’s completely understanding why. I can’t even imagine how hard it is. Lifting takes such dedication, and I can’t imagine living the lifestyle knowing that my SO didn’t totally “get it”.

Anyway. I read that whole discussion and cried. Because I am so ungrateful for what I have, and I don’t think I really realized how great I have it until I read about other people who are struggling to maintain that level of balance between the rest of their lives and their fitness goals. My husband and I go to the gym together. Almost every day. On days when I don’t think I have what it takes, he is the one who kicks me in the rear and gets me to the gym. He helps me make good decisions with regard to food. He encourages me when I hit a snag. He celebrates with me when I reach a milestone. I’m not saying this because I’m gloating. I’m saying this, because I now realize that – although I’ve been finding this whole weight-loss-lifting-weights thing a huge challenge – I have it SO EASY compared to other people who don’t have such a solid, dependable, unwavering brick wall of support.

You ladies. You amaze me. I hope you realize how incredible it is - what you are doing.

<3

Sorry for writing a book. MM, you are amazing. As are the other ladies in here – and they all know who they are.