Ohmygoodness MM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you know the "horse racing" song? It's officially the "William Tell Overture". If you don't, this won't make any sense to you (it probably won't make any sense, regardless haha) but when I read your post, all I could think (to the tune of that song) was, "Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap crap crap! Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap crap crap! Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap crap crap, holy craaaaaaaaaaaaaaap, holy crap crap crap!"
I am so strange. I am fully aware of this fact, have tried to remedy it, and have discovered it to be impossible.
Anyway. What I am TRYING to say is that I am SO FREAKIN' EXCITED for you. And also nervous for you. I sent up a prayer immediately (after the internal "holy crap" song) for you. Hope that's okay.
I'm with jjeane. Take another test tomorrow morning. First pee of the day. And let us know how that one goes.
My heart is in my throat. I am totally rambling. Sorry. You know how I feel about all of this. Haha.
Gathering all the love, best wishes, and positive encouragement I can muster up, and sending it over the internetz. <3
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Thread: My journey to find balance
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02-13-2013, 06:13 PM #511My Journal - Large, But Not in Charge: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=128025573
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02-13-2013, 08:07 PM #512
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02-14-2013, 05:34 AM #513
- Join Date: Sep 2010
- Location: Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 61
- Posts: 5,943
- Rep Power: 7210
Big hugs for you, Ms MM, and all my fingers and toes crossed.
"Eat some oatmeal, do some squats, how hard is that seriously."--Prof Ham
..............................................................................
Team Cookies Give You Superpowers
...............................................................................
For the lulz and an occasional intelligent thought, plus pics:
http://musclemilkisnotaeuphemism.blogspot.com/
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02-14-2013, 08:40 AM #514
Thanks guys!!!
(((((awesome bb friends)))))
Glad today is rest day - I woke up a bit nauseous and we got a little snow and a lot of ice late last night so roads were dicey. Now a few hours later I'm fighting a really nasty headache - all very normal for me should that line show up soon... I've only ever had migraines when pregnant with my two kids!
So my plan is to buy more tests tonight and take one in the morning. It will be my 4th test in the last week. Either I ovulated a little later than I thought (thus my timeline in my brain is several days off and negative tests and then Tuesday's "I think that is a faint line" test would be totally normal) or something may be going on that I need to discuss with my doctor to resolve (possible chemical pregnancy that is not resolving itself, etc). So tomorrow I will at least have direction - either a "yay it's positive and I can now be scared shizless for the next 7-8 weeks" or "well it's negative, time to call the doc and figure out wtf is going on".
I should tell you that I appreciate just having you guys out there to tell this stuff too. Hubs gets upset when I get worried/upset about this and he really doesnt understand nor does he want to know the details of how my body works haha... and I don't really want to tell any other family and friends - mom and sis will make a big deal and if it doesn't work out I think I am going to be dealing with mom questioning why I'm even trying and setting myself up for more heartbreak and potentially physical trauma like what has happened 3 times already I know none of this is bb related - so just wanted to express that I appreciate you reading my ramblings - it helps not bottling up.
Just so you know rickie - if that line shows up in the morning I will be singing the holy crap song loud enough for you to hear it up there hahahaPlease join me on my journey to find balance:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147375163
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02-14-2013, 09:31 AM #515
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Newfoundland, Canada
- Age: 37
- Posts: 19,693
- Rep Power: 22513
Eeep! My fingers are crossed as well *more hugs*
Team Cookies Give You Superpowers
***********************************************
Current Journal: Adventure Time with Turkey
https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=170094463&p=1489770341#post1489770341
My Super Awesome SNS log- Lori Battles the Holiday Pudge (Finished):
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=140145363&page=2
"She's not overtraining- she just trains stupid" -Kimm4
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02-15-2013, 05:47 AM #516
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02-15-2013, 05:53 AM #517
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I just screamed SO loud, I think I scared my landlord. (Seriously.) Hope he doesn't come down to check on me!!
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I HAVE NO WORDS.
I think I need to come back later when I've settled down.
P.S. Please don't judge me for being so emotionally invested in my bb.com ladies.
HOLY CRAP MM!!!!
AGHHHH!!
EDIT: The "Holy Crap" song is now my favourite song, ever. Of all time. And I am a singer. So that's sayin' something.
My Journal - Large, But Not in Charge: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=128025573
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02-15-2013, 06:09 AM #518
Thunder Buddy!!!!!
What the heck!? Serves me right for being MIA for a week or so. Super excited! Sending you positive thoughts and juju!~TEAM AMAZON~ Sisterhood of Iron
Journal: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=144133491
MyFitnessPal Food Diary: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/perpetua3d
"Whether you think you can or you thing you can't, you're right!" - Henry Ford
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02-15-2013, 06:26 AM #519
- Join Date: Jul 2010
- Location: Texas, United States
- Age: 47
- Posts: 5,923
- Rep Power: 8003
My cows are Bert staring me for dancing around the barn for you!! Hugs!! Yea MM!!!!!!
Spoon Barbell Club
My Journal- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147722593
No person with dignity and a soul wants a hand out- they want to earn what they have. Jim Wendler
Set your bar high, be kind, and do more of what makes you stronger. Eleiko
Love over fear
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02-15-2013, 06:44 AM #520
- Join Date: Sep 2010
- Location: Massachusetts, United States
- Age: 61
- Posts: 5,943
- Rep Power: 7210
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Eat some oatmeal, do some squats, how hard is that seriously."--Prof Ham
..............................................................................
Team Cookies Give You Superpowers
...............................................................................
For the lulz and an occasional intelligent thought, plus pics:
http://musclemilkisnotaeuphemism.blogspot.com/
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02-15-2013, 09:07 AM #521
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Newfoundland, Canada
- Age: 37
- Posts: 19,693
- Rep Power: 22513
Awww..........!!!!!!!!!!!! Little jelly lol!
Team Cookies Give You Superpowers
***********************************************
Current Journal: Adventure Time with Turkey
https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=170094463&p=1489770341#post1489770341
My Super Awesome SNS log- Lori Battles the Holiday Pudge (Finished):
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=140145363&page=2
"She's not overtraining- she just trains stupid" -Kimm4
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02-15-2013, 10:41 AM #522
Hahaha - I've literally been singing this song all morning! Please send my personal apologies to your landlord haha! And thanks for caring so much - can't tell you how much I appreciate it!
I was somewhat MIA for several days around last weekend myself - too much going on and I was really afraid to say anything at all without knowing what was going on. Still pinching myself - thanks for those positive thoughts and the juju Thunder Buddy!!
Hahaha - that was a fantastic visual! I literally laughed out loud while sitting in the doctor's office and reading that earlier!
Thanks drea! I haven't wiped the smile off of my face yet today once I got over the "wow" part - I probably look ridiculous!
Thanks Lori! Hehe - save the jelly for like 2 more months. When I feel a little bit better and am not so darn nervous about it then it is something to aspire for, this anxious waiting and praying is a bit difficult. And I should say I didn't have my daughter until I was 29 - and honestly I'm glad for that. Hubs and I had an awesome time together being young and having each other to love before the kids came - embrace and enjoy that time now!
Seriously ladies - your comments made me just want to hug myself as I sat in the doctor's office earlier. I called and they had an opening so I went right in, got checked out (they confirmed my positive result), and then went for bloodwork (they'll check my hcG levels for pregnancy as well as progesterone - I'm thinking they'll be fine, usually don't have issues this early on, but doc will call me Monday). While I was sitting in the waiting room a family with a little boy and 2 girl twins came out. I had overheard the doctor talking with them in the hallway - they were being sent for an ultrasound because they couldn't find the heartbeat in the office. My heart just sank - I've been in that position 3 times now. As soon as they got out of the main office I just heard her take a huge inhale and start crying while her husband held her and told her to just wait until they know for sure. At this point I just started crying - it was like watching them play out a scene from my life that I've replayed a few times sadly. I've just been lucky to not have the kids with me while I break down - we've always hid it from them so that they just thought mommy was sick through the surgeries and sadness. It just made me so sad - but I had to keep reminding myself that my story may be different this time so I need to keep the faith and take care of myself.
Speaking of that hubs wants me doing nothing. I repeat nothing. No picking up kids, no cleaning, and NO working out. Sigh... I get it - I feel like it's okay for me to continue but I don't want to freak him out right now. So... not exactly sure what I'm going to do... but I'm thinking I may see if he'll agree to me going to the gym to walk on the treadmill - I can do some light weights while I'm there but I'm really not going to push at all. When I get out of the first trimester he and I both will feel better about me resuming activity that is normal for me. Kind of torn here, because I want to keep moving at the very least, but he really wants me practically on self-imposed bed rest when I'm not at work. We'll figure it out - he just loves me too muchPlease join me on my journey to find balance:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147375163
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02-15-2013, 10:59 AM #523
Squeeeeee!!!!
You are such a lucky lady to have a man who cares so much for you the way your hubz does. It's times like these that remind us of things like that, you know?
Let's see, shall I start picking out a onsie with a ham printed on it?~TEAM AMAZON~ Sisterhood of Iron
Journal: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=144133491
MyFitnessPal Food Diary: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/perpetua3d
"Whether you think you can or you thing you can't, you're right!" - Henry Ford
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02-15-2013, 11:40 AM #524
SOOOO excited and nervous for you MM.
I want to be able, I am sure, like most of ladies here, just give you a hug. I am overwhelmed by your strength to continue toward your dream. Thank you for showing us how strong we can be. I will send many thoughts and prayers your way that this is the time, and honestly, I can't blame your hubby cause at this point I want to put you on a mommy pedestal and leave you there for at least three months.
I wonder if I can find enough bubble wrap......haha JK"That's not sweat that's your fat cells crying" anonymous
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147406883
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02-15-2013, 11:43 AM #525
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02-18-2013, 08:05 AM #526
Yes I am certainly lucky to have him! Let's wait until April or so on picking out that ham onesie so that we know the little ham is making out well enough to join us in October an wear it
Totally just reminded me of the team name for one of my old fantasy football teams. I was the only girl in the league so I made the team name Ham Wallet hahahaha. And you worried once if I get offended easilyPlease join me on my journey to find balance:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147375163
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02-18-2013, 08:12 AM #527
Thanks DM!!! I think it is always good to stop and reassess both our priorities and our strength to make thing happen (or deal with potential failure which is generally where strength is needed most). I guess I'm lucky that I've never doubted my strength to get through it because I want it so badly and I can and will deal with loss. What makes me a little sad is that I'm noticing more this time around that I'm already setting up a bit of a barrier to protect myself. Kind of treating this like a medical situation for a little while and not letting my brain get into any thoughts of bonding and there actually being a baby just yet. I'm guessing that is pretty normal - but sad all the same that I can't get excited like a "normal" pregnant woman. April... Then I can breathe and begin to bond
Love the idea of a mommy pedestal - even cooler if I could jump off into the big pile of bubble wrap every so often for a bit of fun haha!Please join me on my journey to find balance:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147375163
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02-18-2013, 08:13 AM #528
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02-19-2013, 09:02 AM #529
Honestly I think that is your heart trying to protect itself. I know that was how I was with my pregnancy after the miscarriage I had to pass the magical 13 week number before I would even start to think it was real so I can understand. I don't think there is anything wrong with that TBH, lots of time to bond.
Hope you had a great weekend."That's not sweat that's your fat cells crying" anonymous
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147406883
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02-19-2013, 10:11 AM #530
Thanks yep - I think anyone who has been through one knows exactly how this feels! Looking forward to the easier time ahead.
Good news is that my bloodwork came back looking good, so far so good I guess. I woke up with the worst nausea last night and thought I was about to be sick. I've always had morning and evening nausea but never middle of the night - it really sucked but I know that means my hormones are going strong and that is a good sign.
So tomorrow I am working from home and am going to try to convince hubs it is ok for me to go to the gym to walk on the treadmill. I also plan to do a little db work haha. We shall see! I did 30 minutes of cardio last night dancing with my daughter to the "Just Sweat" routines in our Xbox dance game. It was fun - hoping to do that as much as I can without too many "take it easy there" comments from the gallery I love dancing (the cheerleader in me!) so I get pretty into it haha!
Oh! Tomorrow I am getting a much needed haircut and a free one at that. A friend that works at a salon said they have a celebrity stylist coming in for a cutting class and they needed hair models with long straight hair. I submitted a picture for selection and voila - tomorrow I debut in my first hair modeling gig haha (payment being the free cut!)
Hope everyone is having a great week. I am going through severe lifting withdrawal - I almost can't bare to read your journals just yet so forgive me while I wallow a bit - then I will read often and live through your awesome endeavorsPlease join me on my journey to find balance:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147375163
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02-19-2013, 01:26 PM #531
Oh my goodness, oh my DAYUM MM! I've been meaning to come in here and say that I am sending positive vibes, mojo, juju, thoughts and prayers your way.
I hope that everything works out for you, I know how much you want this
Glad you've been able to get some good sessions in and hopefully you will be able to get back to it once everything settles down
Sounds like you had a great weekend and holiday off yesterday. Shopping and video games = awesome I feel ya on the workout withdrawal, I'm counting down the days till I can start back up
Excited to see what you do with your hair, hope the celebrity stylist does something awesome for you!If this were easy, everyone would walk around ripped.
I like eating, it helps with the not dying.
Journal: Back in Black
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120569281
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02-20-2013, 12:42 PM #532
Thanks Erica! I'll take all the good juju I can get
It's funny I just realized it's only been one week since I last lifted (and I didn't hold back at all that day) - shows that it's all mental this stupid withdrawal! Although my legs always get really achy if I have to take extended time off so I'll have to move around a lot and do some BW squats to help until I can get back in there and be a little more active. I'm being lazy and not working out today since I got the haircut and am feeling all schmexy haha.
The haircut was fun - they were so perfectionist about it that it took literally 2 hours to cut my hair. It kind of hurt towards the end because it was completely dry. The stylist that was walking around and instructing the stylists that work there was a piece of work. They had little nomenclature for all of the steps of the cut and things to look for - so here is this guy playing with my hair and saying weird crap like "look for it... squirrel, squirrel, hug... see it?? Then next is Nantucket, then you go to Grease Lightening, the wreath, don't forget to elevate, elevate, now look at the birdie, and finish it up with the yamaka. Schmeem, schmeem? Oh... you left a little doggy doo there, just pull it over, bark like the dog roof roof, see the meat? Then schmeem schmeem, gorgeous!"
When he walked away I just asked the girl not to leave any schmeem in my hair haha. The cut looks really great though. I'll have to upload my before and after shots somewhere that you guys can see. I only had about 3 inches taken off in length but lots of layers and lots of the weight of my hair taken out - it's so much lighter and looks and feels really nice. Now I just need some highlights and it would be gorgeous
Happy Wednesday ladies!Please join me on my journey to find balance:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147375163
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02-20-2013, 01:09 PM #533
- Join Date: Jul 2010
- Location: Texas, United States
- Age: 47
- Posts: 5,923
- Rep Power: 8003
Hey MM! Glad you are feeling we, sorta rotten. Kinda what you are looking for and reassuring.
Yea for the nice free haircut!!Spoon Barbell Club
My Journal- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147722593
No person with dignity and a soul wants a hand out- they want to earn what they have. Jim Wendler
Set your bar high, be kind, and do more of what makes you stronger. Eleiko
Love over fear
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02-21-2013, 08:11 AM #534
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02-21-2013, 09:23 AM #535
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Newfoundland, Canada
- Age: 37
- Posts: 19,693
- Rep Power: 22513
Oh, nice on the hair Hahaha! Funny about the weird lingo Can't wait for piccies!
Team Cookies Give You Superpowers
***********************************************
Current Journal: Adventure Time with Turkey
https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=170094463&p=1489770341#post1489770341
My Super Awesome SNS log- Lori Battles the Holiday Pudge (Finished):
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=140145363&page=2
"She's not overtraining- she just trains stupid" -Kimm4
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02-27-2013, 09:01 AM #536
Thanks guys!! I've been lazy on getting pictures out there -I did put them on FB but obviously you guys can't see them without friending me
Been really anxious lately - I know this is out of my control but I'm driving myself crazier with every day. I have an ultrasound set up for next Wednesday so I'm really hoping everything measures on track and we will see a heartbeat and feel a bit better about it. I should be somewhere between 7 and 8 weeks at that time. I'm just feeling really pessimistic lately, having bad dreams and not being able to work out to get some of this anxious energy out isn't helping. I've also been watching a blog board on babycenter.com for ladies due in October and every day you see posts "Well, I'm out" where they have miscarried or had an ultrasound showing the baby did not survive (which is basically what I have gone through 3 times now). I need to surround myself with more positive thoughts I guess! Kind of hard to believe this is my 6th pregnancy! I've spent nearly 3 full years of my life being pregnant - that seems ridiculous!!
Today makes 2 weeks since my last workout. I was flexing this morning in the mirror just to make sure nothing has shriveled up just yet haha. I'm so tempted to go workout but I know that I need to just chill right now - I can pick it back up really quickly when I get past this weird state of limbo.
Okay some good stuff - we converted my son's toddler bed into a full size and picked up his new mattress set and a new Avengers bedding set and wall decals for him over the weekend. My daughter is so jealous and wants Avengers stuff now too haha. His room does look really nice and the bed is so cozy - I just want to snuggle in there with him at night because he looks so precious in there smiling away and cuddling with his stuffed friends. We also got a new roof put on the house last Friday (yay!!) and they are coming out one day soon to replace all of the gutters and downspouts. Our house was built in the 70s and when we bought it we hated the brown roof and brown trim everywhere, we quickly replaced the windows and have been saving up for the roof and gutters so it is really exciting to have this done (not as exciting to write the checks for it!). Next up over the next few months is building out a walk in closet for our master bedroom. Our 4th bedroom (my office/playroom/library) is huge and we are going to take a big chunk out of it to build a walk-in closet. Basically the room will then be perfect for a nursery. I have no idea where we will move my desk since our basement isn't finished yet but I have some time to figure all of that out For now we are just steadily working to box up all of our books (We have 5 bookshelves in here, it's not a small task!) and get everything out and into the basement temporarily (and each child is getting a bookshelf upgrade in their rooms). Hubs is sad to lose his library of books but some day we will finish the basement too and we can have them all there. Some day... when we don't have any kids in diapers...
I'll let you all know next week how my ultrasound turns out on Wednesday. If it's bad I'll deal with it, otherwise I'll move on to tons of doctor's appointments and bloodwork, blah blah blah, once you hit 35 you have more tests to do in the first trimester! Please cross your fingers and toes and say a few prayers for me as I get ready for next Wednesday. I don't think I've ever "needed" a glass of wine so badly in my life haha!Please join me on my journey to find balance:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147375163
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02-27-2013, 09:23 AM #537
- Join Date: Mar 2009
- Location: Newfoundland, Canada
- Age: 37
- Posts: 19,693
- Rep Power: 22513
Ohhh, good luck with the ultrasound! I'm crossing my fingers for you!
Team Cookies Give You Superpowers
***********************************************
Current Journal: Adventure Time with Turkey
https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=170094463&p=1489770341#post1489770341
My Super Awesome SNS log- Lori Battles the Holiday Pudge (Finished):
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=140145363&page=2
"She's not overtraining- she just trains stupid" -Kimm4
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02-27-2013, 09:31 AM #538
OH MY GOD
this must have happened while i was not lifting. MM!!!!! congratulations!!!
the last time i got pregnant, i stopped doing vigorous workouts, too. i just ... i wanted to place myself in a cocoon and wait it out until bb was safe. when you have a history like ours, that's just what you do, even if it isn't necessary. i saw you had posted last in my thread and purposefully went looking for yours (havent even opened mine yet) bc i hadnt heard from you and was curious and im so freaking happy for you!!
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02-27-2013, 10:11 AM #539
I can only imagine the emotional/mental side of what your going through. I really hope this time you don't have any issues and you can have some relief and get to enjoy this time In this situation I guess the best course is to hope for the best but prepare for the worst, but not obsess over it
That's cute about your daughter getting jelly over the Avengers stuff! If we had a girl I would hope she wouldn't be to girly as she got older, I was never a girly girl and relating on that level would be interesting lol. All your home improvements sounds awesome! Thats the great thing about older homes, you can have fun updating things
I'm right there with the workout frustrations lol. Soon... soon...If this were easy, everyone would walk around ripped.
I like eating, it helps with the not dying.
Journal: Back in Black
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=120569281
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02-27-2013, 10:41 AM #540
Thanks Lori!!
Hehe - yeah I've been fairly MIA, I want to work out so badly - when you have a schedule and take it very seriously and then you have to totally stop that schedule it just feels weird. Especially not having the "outlet" for all of life's normal frustrations, so it's also a little mentally tough to keep up with everyone else's journals for a little bit! I just don't have a good means of stress relief for myself right now! And yes - you totally get it - it's just what you do to survive getting through the anxiety-filled limbo and prepare yourself for what could come, good or bad. I think I'm just thinking "bad" so much because I really don't want to think "good" and then the bad happen all over again. I sound like a nut haha Just need to see little bean next week with a heartbeat, get a better grasp on the EDD, and then know if it's 5 or 6 weeks to get through before feeling like I'm a little more clear... A week from now... I can make it!
I LOOOOOVE that picture!! That made me smile so much - thanks
You are SO close to being able to really get back into the swing of things lifting-wise and now that you are okayed for stroller walks and all you can really just start getting active again and it will feel so good!!
I was definitely a little tomboy when I was a kid - most of my neighborhood friends were boys so I like that my daughter likes girly things but also is pretty rough. I had the best matchbox car collection and always had the sweetest Nikes but loved dresses when I was little - it is just exactly how my daughter is now - she is the roughest toughest little thing that loves pantyhose, skirts, and sequin covered boots - it's mind boggling!Please join me on my journey to find balance:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147375163
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