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  1. #1
    Tyrael: Mod of Justice. mrawdtsi's Avatar
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    Lightbulb The Domino's pizza tracker saved my life.

    This is a story of why dating bipolar girls is not a good idea and how the Domino’s Pizza tracker saved my life

    I have always been on the fence when it comes to Pizza Hut Vs. Dominos. I don’t eat enough pizza from either to really have a concrete answer of which one makes a better pie. I can tell you one solid truth… As my last relationship ended and the lies, scandals and deceptions came out, after all was said and done, my psycho ex girlfriend did teach me one VERY important thing:

    ALWAYS choose Domino’s over pizza hut.

    I had been having trouble with my now EX-girlfriend for quite awhile, I won’t go into details, but let’s just say she went crazy. I thought, simple: I’ll just break it off.

    Wrong.

    One Friday night, around 8:00pm, after a long week of work and incessant phone calls/psychotic voicemails from the unbalanced EX, I decided I was going to stay in, which one any weekend night is abnormal for me. Usually on weekend nights that I am in, I usually am cool with a movie, a 6 pack and a pizza. I had been ordering from Pizza Hut the last few times, but after a constant bombardment with Domino’s “WE’VE CHANGED OUR ****, I SWEAR WE’RE AWESOME NOW” ad campaign, I decided to give it a shot.

    Around 8pm, I went online to order my pizza. I built a modest 2 topping medium pizza, and placed my order. You have to love how far we have come in the delivery pizza world.

    Immediately afterwards, I was introduced to the piece of a software that would save my neck.

    The Pizza Tracker.

    Pizza tracker? **** yeah, the pizza tracker. If you don’t know what the pizza tracker is, then get your ass online right now and order a pizza from Domino’s. It’s the equivalent of a loading bar on a web browser, except at the end of the loading you get a delicious pizza.

    This is where the night got interesting.

    I am on my couch, one eye on “Parks and Rec” the other on the pizza tracker displayed on my lap top that joined me on the couch.

    We had just entered stage 2: Prep.

    KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

    For a split second I thought, “woh that was fast,” I put my order in 10 minutes ago and pizza tracker says it’s still in stage 2.

    By the end of my thought, the door swung open.

    Guess who.

    Yep, it was my psychotic EX. Knife in hand, she starts threatening to do some pretty awful things. I try to stand up, she freaks. I stay on the couch and attempt to calm her down. She goes into a hysterical rant about us getting back together, ya right, and I glance at the pizza tracker.

    Stage 3. Bake (Juan is putting your order in the oven)

    She goes on while all I can think is GO JUAN GO!!!! GET THAT **** IN THE OVEN!

    I try to calm her down, I stand up and she freaks out and tells me “SIT THE **** DOWN!!”

    She continues on her violet outburst and I tell her we can work things out hoping to get her to calm down. It’s no use.

    I decide I need to try and get to my phone. I inconspicuously try to look for my cell phone. Dammit! I left it my room. I am screwed. I am dead. The pizza man will get blamed for this! Oh, the poor pizza boy will be wrongfully blamed and get life in prison for what this unstable bitch is going to do to me.

    STAGE 4! BOX!

    **** YEAH! They are boxing up my pizza. Get your ass over here!

    She continues on for another 5 minutes. Trying to make eye contact, glancing at the pizza tracker every second she looks away.

    Stage 5! DELIVERY: Alejandro is delivering your pizza.

    GOD SPEED ALEJENDRO!!! MY LIFE AND YOUR FREEDOM RELY ON THIS!

    Knowing that the Alejandro is on the way, I try and just keep her talking, but the more she talks the more enraged she gets. I try to interupt, but that just makes things worse.

    It’s been 10 minutes, Alejandro should be here any time.

    She continues, she is yelling at the top of her lungs about the things we could have been. I am still banking that Alejandro will be here any second and save the day.

    10 more minutes go by.
    Alejandro GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR!

    SHE IS OFFICIALLY FREAKING THE **** OUT. She puts the knife up to her wrist and then takes it away. I am panicking. Where the **** is Alejandro! Pizza tracker tells me we’re still in stage 5. **** YOU PIZZA TRACKER , YOU’VE BEEN IN STAGE 5 FOR 25 MINUTES!!!! I will never order from Domino’s again!!! After this thought I immediately think to myself, I will be dead, so I will probably never order another pizza again.

    Right then, the cops come in. At gunpoint they calm her down and obtain the knife. Alejandro had shown up to the door wide open and saw psycho with the knife and went back to his ’98 Honda Accord and called the cops. Domino’s pizza literally saved my life. They should change the name from the pizza tracker to the savior tracker.

    Alejandro is the true definition of a hero. In a way, Alejandro is the 5th ninja turtle. He showed up, accessed the situation, didn’t panic, and saved my ass from the bad guys. Oh yeah, and he brought a ****ing excellent pizza too.
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  2. #2
    The Dark Lord darkninja67's Avatar
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    umm....

    cliffs???

    is this a trap thread?? Where is everyone?? lol
    rumpler of stiltskins

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  3. #3
    Registered User GeneralBroseph's Avatar
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    Haven't ate dominoes in about a year, home made pizzas FTW!
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  4. #4
    F*ck Mike O'Hearn ace_gauntlit's Avatar
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  5. #5
    Mr. Swift krazedxboi's Avatar
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    wtf am i reading
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  6. #6
    Fifteen Tango TerrorAP2's Avatar
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    Tip?
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  7. #7
    Tyrael: Mod of Justice. mrawdtsi's Avatar
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    mrawdtsi is offline
    Originally Posted by TerrorAP2 View Post
    Tip?
    300% in this case. Alejandro saved my life brah!
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  8. #8
    Registered User wchef's Avatar
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    Moral of the story: lock your doors.

    And since when do the cops ever show up that quickly?
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  9. #9
    Attention K-Mart shoppers Archangel_Lost's Avatar
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    those trackers don't actually track anything. it just randomly changes from one step to the other
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  10. #10
    Jupiter's Cock! Repptar's Avatar
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    Pics of gf?

    Edit: Just read that novel. Holy ****ing ****. Scary stuff man. Stay safe.
    Last edited by Repptar; 08-13-2012 at 10:39 AM.
    KCCO
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  11. #11
    I love lamp NWDub's Avatar
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    negged for lack of cliffs
    yolo
    tuf
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  12. #12
    Maximum Effort gixxer0.6g's Avatar
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  13. #13
    Banned Kahldris's Avatar
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    edit: I hate you wizard^

    He is truly a hero.

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  14. #14
    Regitsered User Reptarr's Avatar
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    how much did you tip, op? For future reference.
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  15. #15
    jack j jj jack your body nin-com-poop's Avatar
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    Been meaning to try the new Domino's
    I ♥ to dance

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  16. #16
    Registered User kabs13's Avatar
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    This left me confused, might go fap away my confusion now
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  17. #17
    Registered User kpd905's Avatar
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    OP needs to be on a Domino's commercial with this line:

    Pizza tracker? **** yeah, the pizza tracker. If you don’t know what the pizza tracker is, then get your ass online right now and order a pizza from Domino’s. It’s the equivalent of a loading bar on a web browser, except at the end of the loading you get a delicious pizza.
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  18. #18
    Multi-fetish A.I. FisterRoboto's Avatar
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    Thank God for Alejandro.
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  19. #19
    Registered User Krytical's Avatar
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    Juan, Alejandro

    lollld

    How was the ROLL BREAD?
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  20. #20
    Hyperaware TheAlternative's Avatar
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    this is why I downloaded the dominos app. In case a psycho ex ever tries to kill, I can just order a pizza
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  21. #21
    Banned Lowlander's Avatar
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    Can't eat pizza without Dominos garlic n herb dip crew.
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  22. #22
    Attention K-Mart shoppers Archangel_Lost's Avatar
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    speaking of the pizza tracker

    Lifts:
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    Don't have heroes; look up to no one. Because as long as someone's leading the way, the best you'll ever be is second.
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  23. #23
    ??? Grenadehops's Avatar
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    This happened, I was the pizza.
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  24. #24
    16.75" of Clive wannabe natypes's Avatar
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    natypes has the mod powerz natypes has the mod powerz natypes has the mod powerz natypes has the mod powerz natypes has the mod powerz natypes has the mod powerz natypes has the mod powerz natypes has the mod powerz natypes has the mod powerz natypes has the mod powerz natypes has the mod powerz
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    You seem to troll more now that you're mod lol
    Champions keep going when they don't have anything left in their tank.

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  25. #25
    Registered User extrafly's Avatar
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    ive read this story somewhere else before
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  26. #26
    Banned kamesiah's Avatar
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    my current gf has depression and takes meds for it, will she turn crazy if we brake up we've been going out for 3 months.

    also Good job Alejandro
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  27. #27
    Registered User futbolista89's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ace_gauntlit View Post
    lol at the cat taking it for a while
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  28. #28
    Registered User TehScoTTmA's Avatar
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    This is a 98 Hondaaaaaaaaaaaaa how dare you!!!!!!!!!
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  29. #29
    ____( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)__________ BabyOilBrah's Avatar
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    This happened to you.
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  30. #30
    Swole Sports Rep jkh25's Avatar
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    Did someone say pizza?
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