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    Misc Gentry LordByronGains's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Things that make you poop

    I have been away on a requested ban for a month. I have been browsing from time to time and noticed a distinct deterioration in thread quality. so I come to do my bit to right that wrong. I shall provide a list of things that are guaranteed to make you poop, in case this is ever an issue for any of you.

    1. Certain high fibre fruits: This is the obvious one, so I put it first. The two star players here for you are prunes and figs. A few of each with breakfast and you can be sure of an easy and satisfying movement later in the day.

    2. Apple on an empty stomach. Don't believe me? try it. An apple or two, first thing in the morning AND NOTHING ELSE. Goes straight through you, allow 1-2 hours.

    3. Coffee - particularly strong black coffee. Apparently it is a diuretic and makes your bowels secrete more fluid, which results in looser stools. Allow 2-4 hours.

    4. Energy drinks like red bull, for the same reasons as 3, I assume.

    5. Food with chilli pepper seeds, or other highly spicey foodstuffs. Allow 6 hours, or overnight ideally. Witness the ring of fire.

    6. Alcohol. Specifically dark beer, red wine or cider, but any will do if you havent had any in a while and you drink enough of it. Seems to cause some sort of self-cleanse by the body, which manifests itself as chronic but enjoyable pooping. Again, 6 hours or ideally overnight. Stray800 deserves credit for reminding me of this one, which had slipped my mind but deserves its place here.


    Hope this helps.
    Happy pooping.
    Regards,
    LordByronGains.
    Last edited by LordByronGains; 07-19-2012 at 05:06 PM.
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    Misc Gentry LordByronGains's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Stray800 View Post
    My first dark beer of the evening
    ^^YES! I knew there was one I forgot. I shall add to the OP and give you due credit. I see you are also a purveyor of a pleasant poop.
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    2-4 hours for coffee? Not sheriff srs.

    It's more like 15-20 minutes in the morning.
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    Originally Posted by LordByronGains View Post
    ^^YES! I knew there was one I forgot. I shall add to the OP and give you due credit. I see you are also a purveyor of a pleasant poop.
    I poop multiple times a day and have to say its the highlight of my day. The wife is jelly over my frequent pooping abilities. I'm like a really useless X-Man..
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  17. #17
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  18. #18
    Misc Gentry LordByronGains's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by TerrorAP2 View Post
    2-4 hours for coffee? Not sheriff srs.

    It's more like 15-20 minutes in the morning.
    horses for courses bro, not everyone works quite the same. definitely is quicker early in the morning on an empty stomach
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    Originally Posted by Greg14 View Post
    a powerful laxative
    broscience brah, don't buy into it, just get your macros, lift heavy and hard and you'll poop like a god without any of these hyped up "miracle poop supplements".
    I am not no religious bastard and shyt.

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    This thread makes me feel warm inside.
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    Originally Posted by TerrorAP2 View Post
    2-4 hours for coffee? Not sheriff srs.

    It's more like 15-20 minutes in the morning.
    this. if i down a cup of coffee in the morning ill be on the toilet within a few minutes
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    Originally Posted by FourKicks View Post
    coffee and/or cigarette
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    I noticed that usually within 24 hours of eating something, I take a dump.
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    Chief Executive Gangsta Dave P's Avatar
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  29. #29
    Not so OFP anymore Echo_1's Avatar
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