Trying to get parents to be healthier, but won't listen

[Kongol]

I was a fat kid growing up, but I discovered dieting and exercise and it changed my life. I want to get my family fit and healthy now because they are clearly overweight and unhealthy. The only problem is that they are too stubborn and (lazy?) to listen to my advice. They keep on buying junk food even after time and time again I tell them the bad effects it has on health. I am entering the health field in a few years, and they have seen my transformation, but I just don't understand why they don't want to listen to me to be healthier and live longer.

Has anyone dealt with a situation like this and ended up with good results?

[eriram]

And they probably won't listen. You're much better off modeling you're behavior and don't get too preachy. Eventually they'll probably come around...but then again maybe not. Don't beat yourself up about it.

[n0useforaname]

Good results? No.. I have family that literally has been through MULTIPLE surgerys for cancer, heart problems, etc.. and they STILL do not change their ways. And anytime we are out eating or having dinner, I get flamed for what I eat. So, you can only lead a horse to water, not make them drink.

[SwiftyX]

People need to make desicions on thier own. Let them live thier own lives.

[WonderPug]

Striving for fitness and health is an internal drive and, regardless of how impassioned and logical your arguments may be, if your parents aren't ready to make the change, they will not.

Stay health and fit, and if/when they're ready to change, help them.

[ironwill2008]

I am entering the health field in a few years........


....... I just don't understand why they don't want to listen to me to be healthier and live longer.

If you plan to enter "the health field," you'd better get used to dealing with such attitudes.







You can't change anyone but you, OP.

[Kadisha]

And they probably won't listen. You're much better off modeling you're behavior and don't get too preachy. Eventually they'll probably come around...but then again maybe not. Don't beat yourself up about it.

^^^ This.

Just lead by example, and more of your family will be encouraged when they see results.

I know this from personal experience. Now I don't consider myself the leanest guy around, but 2 of my family members started exercising regularly after they saw the kind of improvements I had made.

[nightmare69]

My roommate is the same way. He is obese and has high blood pressure among other health problems at 27yrs old. He eats out EVERY meal, either fast food or other restaurant. Tired many times to help him by cooking healthy and going to the gym but he dont give 2 fuks about it. Oh well, I just let him live how he wants and if he wants help he can come to me.

[Flashkicker]

IMO, people are threatened by what they consider to be different. No one in my family said a damn thing when I was pounding food and blimping up to 280 lbs as a sophomore in High School, but everyone gives me **** non-stop for being 180lbs. Makes me laugh that they flame me for being at a healthy weight. Guess I have to repeat what was said above. If they want to trade health for food, it's completely their choice.

[Dre4]

Pretty much agree with everyone here. I'm in the same situation, its their bodies that they are destroying not mine.

[Retoaded]

my wife and I have been eating smart, counting calories for the last 10 months, we've been lifting heavy for the past 6 months or so...I've lost almost 70 pounds, she has lost 25 (she was much better to start with lol)...our neighbors eat horribly and are very overweight. They have been asking us for months "what are ya'll doing, how do you do it?!?!"...I tell them.

Then we went to the beach with them a few weekends ago. They literally ate a snack or fast food every 3 hours throughout the weekend.

Here we are a couple months later and its still "what are ya'll doing, how do you do it?!?" and I tell them again.

I got them a FREE 1 month gym pass. my wife took the other girl in there and showed her how to squat, deadlift, and press.

the month has expired, the girl went to the gym one more time in a month. the guy went zero times.

this past weekend "what are ya'll doing, how do you do it!??!?!" and now they have added" I am eating less carbs"..."I don't eat after 8pm"...its always things to justify their current behavior..

the other night after a few beers I almost lost my chit when the girl is talking about how she loves peppermint patties (the frozen kind) and is like "I hear they are good for you, because peppermint is good for you". I said "PEPPERMINT IS GOOD FOR YOU! PEPPERMINT WRAPPED IN 600 CALORIES OF CHOCOLATE AND ICE CREAM IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU!.

I give up. They don't want it. We do. Its simple.

[Flashkicker]

"I am eating less carbs"...

I lol'd. Strong diet hahaha

My uncle is diabetic, so yesterday he took some icing off of a birthday cake and stated "I don't want to give myself a sugar overload". Don't worry he replaced the icing with extra ice cream hahaha

[Retoaded]

I lol'd. Strong diet hahaha

My uncle is diabetic, so yesterday he took some icing off of a birthday cake and stated "I don't want to give myself a sugar overload". Don't worry he replaced the icing with extra ice cream hahaha

it seriously drives me ape****. but you know what? everyone has been lied to for so long that I can hardly blame them. that is exactly what these folks would do.

they also drink those Arizona flavored drinks at about 350 calories a can. like, thats all they drink all day.

[jonstoppable]

I'm sure everyone's gone through something like this before. Literally 30 minutes ago, I tried to explain to a friend that cardio isn't some magic fat burning entity, and that the only way she was going to lose weight was to enforce some kind of CR.

"But my doctor told me all I have to do is some cardio and I'll be fine. Everyone says cardio will make me lose weight."

She's the same type of girl that won't touch a barbell, because she's afraid of getting jacked...

[Broseph82]

Sit down and watch the documentary [Forks Over Knives] with them. This is very informative on health and not pushy nor preachy. The more you preach to them the more they will revolt. Open their eyes with information that isnt forcing something on them.

[2pointO]

My family is exactly the same, I always tell my mother to stop drowning the food she cooks in oil, she immediately gets mad. I usually opt to cook my own meals because I don't want 4349 tbsp of oil absorbed in my food that would add like 1000 cals. Yeah she gets offended when I rather cook my own food but oh well. She always makes up some excuse like " this is healthy oil no trans fat blah blah " & I constantly explain to her idc how much trans fat it has its just too many calories. She doesn't listen so until she decides she wants to listen I'ma just let her little self take her " diet pills " ( that have NOO affect whatsoever ) and drool over those commercials where the bishes dance to lose weight and tell me she's gonna buy the dvd.

[Kadisha]

My family is exactly the same, I always tell my mother to stop drowning the food she cooks in oil, she immediately gets mad. I usually opt to cook my own meals because I don't want 4349 tbsp of oil absorbed in my food that would add like 1000 cals. Yeah she gets offended when I rather cook my own food but oh well. She always makes up some excuse like " this is healthy oil no trans fat blah blah " & I constantly explain to her idc how much trans fat it has its just too many calories. She doesn't listen so until she decides she wants to listen I'ma just let her little self take her " diet pills " ( that have NOO affect whatsoever ) and drool over those commercials where the bishes dance to lose weight and tell me she's gonna buy the dvd.

I don't know man. With your stats you might want to eat her food anyway.

[waqas11]

OP my family is the same, just let me them eat what they want, you just focus on yourself.

My family use to flame me at the start but now they have adapted to it that i cook my own meals and like to weigh my own ****.

My family doesnt care anymore that i weigh food and avoid eating with them except for once a week, they kind of support me now. Dad makes sure i get my chicken breasts he buys in bulks for me fish, tuna and chicken.

Bottom line OP focus on yourself!

[Ataglance1234]

Tell them about IIFYM

[Flat4Suby]

My family is exactly the same, I always tell my mother to stop drowning the food she cooks in oil, she immediately gets mad. I usually opt to cook my own meals because I don't want 4349 tbsp of oil absorbed in my food that would add like 1000 cals. Yeah she gets offended when I rather cook my own food but oh well. She always makes up some excuse like " this is healthy oil no trans fat blah blah " & I constantly explain to her idc how much trans fat it has its just too many calories. She doesn't listen so until she decides she wants to listen I'ma just let her little self take her " diet pills " ( that have NOO affect whatsoever ) and drool over those commercials where the bishes dance to lose weight and tell me she's gonna buy the dvd.

dude, my mom is the EXACT same. she dumps "olive oil" in everything. When I tell her to stop putting so much she just says, "but its good for you". I keep telling her the calories between that and the "regular bad oil" are the same but she won't listen. sigh...

[Flat4Suby]

but honestly, even though i was never fat, i do remember what its like to not care about what you eat. I used to eat wendys, mc donalds, taco bell and not give a flying f**k about the grade z meat i was consuming haha. And i know how those people feel...they simply just don't care. now, if i was really over weight it would be different. I understand some people have problems with weight (ex slow metabo...diseases and such which makes it hard for them to maintain weight), but those fat ppl that just eat and stuff themselves all day...i don't know how they live with them selves.

[2pointO]

I don't know man. With your stats you might want to eat her food anyway.

Haha , yea I know. Came off a 1st time cut small and skinny fat, but I'm slow bulking right now as I don't want to gain TOO much fat atm since its still summer. I want to control my surplus of calories as much as I can. I will go crazy in winter though don't get me wrong lol

dude, my mom is the EXACT same. she dumps "olive oil" in everything. When I tell her to stop putting so much she just says, "but its good for you". I keep telling her the calories between that and the "regular bad oil" are the same but she won't listen. sigh...

-_- tell me about it. Tried telling my mom only a tablespoon or two is necessary or use PAM , but she snaps at me at takes the bottle and starts POURING .

[Flat4Suby]

haha, i keep telling her that if I wanted an extra 350 calories I would MUCH rather get it from a mc donald's cheeseburger or a big ass slice of cake/ice cream/cookie or what not rather than bland plain oil in my salad.

[brokenclock]

They can't refuse to listen if you bind them to a chair and lock them up in a dark room. Just sayin'.

[Flat4Suby]

They can't refuse to listen if you bind them to a chair and lock them up in a dark room. Just sayin'.

haha, thats just weird man

[Mongo81X]

I had the same problem with my mother, I made her a bet that if she listened to everything I said for one month I could get her to lose 10 pounds, help her sleep better, and increase her energy levels. I got her the free app myfitnesspal for her phone, told her how many cals/macros to eat and made her do 3 fb workouts a week in my home gym. Well it worked, after one month she dropped 11 pounds and feels better then she has in years and now she's hooked. She even asked me if she could lift more then 3 times a week lol. So sometimes a bet/challenge is the trick, btw if I lost it would have sucked I bet that I would clean her house for a month.

[2pointO]

I had the same problem with my mother, I made her a bet that if she listened to everything I said for one month I could get her to lose 10 pounds, help her sleep better, and increase her energy levels. I got her the free app myfitnesspal for her phone, told her how many cals/macros to eat and made her do 3 fb workouts a week in my home gym. Well it worked, after one month she dropped 11 pounds and feels better then she has in years and now she's hooked. She even asked me if she could lift more then 3 times a week lol. So sometimes a bet/challenge is the trick, btw if I lost it would have sucked I bet that I would clean her house for a month.

Would love to do this with my mother, but she comes home to tired, and says the way I dieted down I " sacrificed" to much. The only thing i sacrificed was mcdonalds , and chinese take out, soda and tropicana juice . . and I count calories . She wants to kill me for being healthy SHEESH .

[egoneo]

the only thing that made my family change their eating habits despite me for years trying to get them to do so is when something shocking happened in my family (my sister was diagnosed with diabetes) this made them change their entire lifestyles as they "feel responsible for having fed you poison for years" but like most have said most change is individual. You cant force someone to change and trying to do so will probably accomplish the opposite

[Retoaded]

Would love to do this with my mother, but she comes home to tired, and says the way I dieted down I " sacrificed" to much. The only thing i sacrificed was mcdonalds , and chinese take out, soda and tropicana juice . . and I count calories . She wants to kill me for being healthy SHEESH .

people with vices like to have other people with vices sometimes, even relatives.

[soccerkid621]

To much real life ITT