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  1. #1
    Registered User Toledous's Avatar
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    That Feeling When You Have To Poop, But There's No Toilet Paper

    My situation and thought process throughout..

    Was packing clothes to go to Vegas tomorrow and felt the old feeling in the stomach that warns me I'm about to take a huge growler in about 2 minutes. Time is of the essence. I take off towards the bathroom.



    I sit down and get relaxed. I look over, and to my horror I see this:



    My approximate reactions:





    Now I'm running even shorter on time and start to get the poo poo cramps. I run to the other bathroom.



    Once again I see:



    At this point I have to think quickly otherwise I'll shoot brown goo from my rusty bullet hole into my shorts. Nobody wants to experience that. I spot a box of Kleenex and take that ****er into the bathroom with me. All is good and well.



    I know Kleenex is thinner than TP, so I was sure to use extra wads...but the strength wasn't there and something terrible happened...the fabric began to tear and a look of horror shot onto my face. Before I could stop myself, my finger burst through the Kleenex like Diglett in attack mode and I got poo on my finger....

    I was like:


    I moved extra cautious from here on out and used that entire box of ****ing Kleenex...brb, worst pooping situation I've experienced in years.
    Last edited by Toledous; 07-03-2012 at 06:36 PM.
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  2. #2
    Banned quickcummer's Avatar
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    use a sock next time op...
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  3. #3
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  4. #4
    SaltyScrot Sr. PhilAUS's Avatar
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    Gold - Repped

    In this situation I sometimes have to think...do i even like these socks?
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  5. #5
    A.W.E.S.O.M. - O foreverSNAFU's Avatar
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  6. #6
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    I usually poop before I realize there is no toilet paper, then waddle around with my pants at my ankles till I find something to wipe with.


    Much worse feeling.
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  7. #7
    Registered Abuser John L's Avatar
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  8. #8
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    That feeling when u need to poop and there is no toliet.
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  9. #9
    Registered User Toledous's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by quickcummer View Post
    use a sock next time op...
    Groce. I thought about the no toilet paper: use shower meme...but that didn't seem like a good option after finding the kleenex.

    Originally Posted by foreverSNAFU View Post
    Brb. chaffing my butthole with rough as **** paper towel. The old dirt road is resiliant...but not to that extent.

    Originally Posted by peterloveslubey View Post
    I usually poop before I realize there is no toilet paper, then waddle around with my pants at my ankles till I find something to wipe with.


    Much worse feeling.
    hahahahah. I know that feel. I got lucky this time.
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  10. #10
    Registered User Toledous's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Salam92 View Post
    That feeling when u need to poop and there is no toliet.
    Awful. Happened a couple times throughout my short life and I was forced to become one with mother nature. Never again.
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  11. #11
    Registered User Toledous's Avatar
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    Update. May have to shower anyway. Getting major itchy butthole syndrome. The Kleenex did not perform as expected.
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  12. #12
    Registered User moonfarious's Avatar
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  13. #13
    Registered User Toledous's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by moonfarious View Post
    lol'd
    thank you for your contribution.
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  14. #14
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    Lulzed....

    Should've taken one of these in there and thrown it outside in the garbage after you finished.


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  16. #16
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    brb trying to wipe with a page out of a magazine out of desperation and scratching my azzhole
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  17. #17
    Banned ABlackGuy's Avatar
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    lolol ^^^ have done that too.
    lol always check if you have toilet paper before shiiting.
    if not i look for a teddie bear stab it and use the cotton. srs
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  18. #18
    Registered User Toledous's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ABlackGuy View Post
    lolol ^^^ have done that too.
    lol always check if you have toilet paper before shiiting.
    if not i look for a teddie bear stab it and use the cotton. srs
    A teddy bear? wtf i bet you had cotton dingleberries for days after that. That **** doesn't hold together well. brb using 1000 q-tips to wipe my ass hole
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  19. #19
    Banned loilfad08's Avatar
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    Lol don't people love threads like this? Not only is it hilariously funny, but you know it is 100% true because similar events like this happened in your own life haha
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  20. #20
    Registered User Smeldtz's Avatar
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    inb4 Indians invade this thread saying they never have this feel as they wipe their arse with their hands
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  21. #21
    Banned ABlackGuy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Toledous View Post
    A teddy bear? wtf i bet you had cotton dingleberries for days after that. That **** doesn't hold together well. brb using 1000 q-tips to wipe my ass hole
    lol better then nothing plus you can shower after.
    Originally Posted by Smeldtz View Post
    inb4 Indians invade this thread saying they never have this feel as they wipe their arse with their hands
    lmao! I'm dying here.
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  22. #22
    Registered User Toledous's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Smeldtz View Post
    inb4 Indians invade this thread saying they never have this feel as they wipe their arse with their hands
    made me lol pretty hard.

    And to the cotton guy...sounds terrible. i'd rather use paper towel or newspaper before having strings of loose **** stained cotton dangling from my rusty bullet hole
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  23. #23
    Registered User Toledous's Avatar
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    last bump before i let it die. figured late night miscers might get a lol or two.
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