My situation and thought process throughout..
Was packing clothes to go to Vegas tomorrow and felt the old feeling in the stomach that warns me I'm about to take a huge growler in about 2 minutes. Time is of the essence. I take off towards the bathroom.
I sit down and get relaxed. I look over, and to my horror I see this:
My approximate reactions:
Now I'm running even shorter on time and start to get the poo poo cramps. I run to the other bathroom.
Once again I see:
At this point I have to think quickly otherwise I'll shoot brown goo from my rusty bullet hole into my shorts. Nobody wants to experience that. I spot a box of Kleenex and take that ****er into the bathroom with me. All is good and well.
I know Kleenex is thinner than TP, so I was sure to use extra wads...but the strength wasn't there and something terrible happened...the fabric began to tear and a look of horror shot onto my face. Before I could stop myself, my finger burst through the Kleenex like Diglett in attack mode and I got poo on my finger....
I was like:
I moved extra cautious from here on out and used that entire box of ****ing Kleenex...brb, worst pooping situation I've experienced in years.