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  1. #1
    [300 Spartan Crew] Dragonslayer5's Avatar
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    Mom just walked in on me trying to suck my own dick

    Happened about an hour ago, me lying down on the floor of my bedroom butt ass naked in the pretzel position seeing out of curiousity if I could reach, ass aimed directly at my bedroom door and then BAM!! The mom busts in she yells oh my god im so sorry "its not what it looks like mom" i said in a sorry attempt to explain myself, what the **** else could i have been doing? Playing naked twister....the worst part about it is when she busted in we made eye contact. **** how the **** am I suppossed to face her after that. I cant even leave my room. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???
    If I were to ask you to have sex with me, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?
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  2. #2
    watchout ur comments bros thrustmaster's Avatar
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    lol
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  3. #3
    Banned DrSloot's Avatar
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    ask her if she wants to ****.
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  4. #4
    Registered User Polamaluisraw43's Avatar
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    did your dik reach your mouth?
    I LOVE Maria Sharapova
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  5. #5
    Registered User bigcrayon's Avatar
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    so... did you reach?
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  6. #6
    strung out Eshamed51's Avatar
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    would you really suck your own dick. You would pre-cum in your mouth SRS
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  7. #7
    Don't snap your **** up! squatsruinbacks's Avatar
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    What's more pathetic is that you are living at home at 22 yrs old.
    *have only ever had sex with prostitutes crew*
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  8. #8
    Registered User TheRoyalPenis's Avatar
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    might as well try to zuk dat dick still. dont let all that happened die in vain.
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  9. #9
    Registered User thestation's Avatar
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    post pics of mom
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  10. #10
    Brah Goatse's Avatar
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    Well. Did you cum or what?
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  11. #11
    Banned Blacklabel3's Avatar
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    lol'd

    rep worthy thread
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  12. #12
    Registered User ninjaedit's Avatar
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    You were only doing yoga and its more comfortable nude!!
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  13. #13
    my angus is peppered thenerdal's Avatar
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    inb4 she makes hotdogs for dinner
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  14. #14
    Registered User DaBest12's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by squatsruinbacks View Post
    What's more pathetic is that you are living at home at 22 yrs old.
    *27 years old living with parents crew*
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  15. #15
    [300 Spartan Crew] Dragonslayer5's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ninjaedit View Post
    You were only doing yoga and its more comfortable nude!!
    That's a good idea. I think I'm gonna tell her I was doing yoga
    If I were to ask you to have sex with me, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?
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  16. #16
    Registered User SquallFF8's Avatar
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    Always hated it when parents would just barge through the door. What happened to knocking?
    <Kansas Misc Crew>


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  17. #17
    Banned BigFoigg's Avatar
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    Well OP your life sucks.

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  18. #18
    [300 Spartan Crew] Dragonslayer5's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BigFoigg View Post
    Well OP your life sucks.
    Yes it does. I'm driving to Jacksonville tomorrow to look at apartments
    If I were to ask you to have sex with me, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?
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  19. #19
    Registered User BamaSoldier's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Dragonslayer5 View Post
    That's a good idea. I think I'm gonna tell her I was doing yoga
    Dude, she's probably just as embarrassed if not more than you... I'd charge at her with a privacy violation. Then I'd move out and hide in shame, never showing up at family events again... even Christmas.
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  20. #20
    ψυχήωσις deadweightTX's Avatar
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    So..did you lick the tip?
    complex god complex


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  21. #21
    Addicted to Mario Kart SpongeBobNoPant's Avatar
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    Tell her "WELL... It ain't gonna suck itself! How about a little help? >" LOL j/k bro.
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  22. #22
    Registered User austeven's Avatar
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    i know what you should do. you should post this on fml.com LOLOL
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  23. #23
    dum dee dum musD's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by squatsruinbacks View Post
    What's more pathetic is that you are living at home at 22 yrs old.

    *have only ever had sex with prostitutes crew*
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    If you can't take a joke, supplement misc,female misc, teen misc ----------->

    I'm e-stating I'm actually 6'1 214lb like every other miscer
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  24. #24
    xx chromosomes (no homo) RandomMisc's Avatar
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    Your mom is on her laptop right now, facebooking her bff or one of your aunts, and asking them how to handle the fact that she just walked in on her son trying to suck his own dick.


    Inb4 op finds mom's google history: "how to help my son get a girlfriend" and "i think my son might be gay."
    Still Breathin: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=157530533

    ^Misc Author's self-help book with hilarious stories and legit advice on dating, relationships, sex, business, self-image, failure, success, drive, passion, being real.



    Lift. Lust. Lulz. <3

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  25. #25
    Registered User Bromeister91's Avatar
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    thats life son
    150 Days of No Fap
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  26. #26
    Toronto ItsAshor's Avatar
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  27. #27
    Registered User hotpajamas's Avatar
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    had me laughing pretty hard there OP


    Originally Posted by Dragonslayer5 View Post
    Yes it does. I'm driving to Jacksonville tomorrow to look at apartments

    then i realized you were being serious... bertstare
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  28. #28
    Registered User belvo's Avatar
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    how big is you'r penis op (SRS)
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  29. #29
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    Lol repped because it reminds me of the "Uhh...I can explain" guy from spongebob.
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  30. #30
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    brb emailing your mom this thread
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