The title may be a little mis-leading.
First: My beliefs: I believe we attract our mirror image in life, may that be positive or negative. That's for you to decide about yourself.
Where I am currently working I already realize that management does NOT give a rats arse about sexually suggestive innuendoes & due to that, it than trickles down to the other like minded individuals.
I have kept out of the tiff's & gossip that goes on in this work place. Lately however, within the last two months, I guess I've reached my breaking point. I try very hard to be courteous, polite, & say what I need to say so that I am not just some quiet little mouse. I've been learning to love & respect myself, & it has been a very difficult journey.
I still have my "blow up moments" that are rather childish. For instance: I am at work this evening, my peer comes in & he is agitated. He tells me he is tired. A few moments later, he is humming & hahing out loud about how can someone DO THIS, this is common sense & he goes on & on & on & on. I than say to him, "How is this common sense?" I was taught when I first came here, this is how they'd like it to be done." He won't really let me get a word in at all. I basically steam up & of course by that time, he knows that he's got me. A few minutes later, he comes to me & says, I think you want me to say something, would you like me to say something? Me: No, you do NOT get to have a fit, not tell me the issue & than tell me how I AM In the Wrong. No, you need to give me some cool off time, excuse me. Him: he hrmphs & smirks, if though I am the one with this HUGE problem. *** We worked out the issue.....HIS issue. *** he admitted to it. I did not prod him.
Throughout the evening, he says out loud in ear shot of other co workers how I am grumpy. ( & yet he is the grumpy one ) I mean, I am a pretty intelligent womyn, & I KNOW what is going on here. Like all things, everything is SO much easier said than done. It's hard work.
In the last few weeks this gentleman has also been much more flirtatious with the other ladies. I do NOT like this & have made a point of it. He just keeps pushing & pushing & pushing my buttons & he knows it.
POWER STRUGGLE, AM I RIGHT?
When I scowl or whatever, he says things like: Ohhhh, you know I am just joking around. YOU Should know by now how I like to joke. ME: I feel like this is his way of getting out of it. Not having to deal with what he REALLY is doing.
I have been contemplating the last few times I've worked with him, about pulling him aside & saying something like: " I respect you when you ask me not to do something that you do not like, & I expect the same in return. I do not like being touched, even in fun. I do not like talking about or being told about your sexual rendezvous. It makes me uncomfortable. I want to do this in a way that I am not giving him more power or that I may be seen as putting him down. I know body language is everything, as is tone of voice. I am a bit of a nervous person to begin with & I laugh a lot or smile a lot when I am nervous. Suggestions appreciated.
Moving on, I am not even sure this would be classed as "Sexual Harassment". Although I briefly looked it up for Canada. Okay, I don't even remember how it gets to this part, he just comes up to me, gets in my face, & proceeds to tell me about how his lady friend likes it when he goes down on her. Me: Really? C'mon (insert name here) I really don't care to know this, please stop it. HIM: You know it's alright (inserts my name here) it's okay for the other way around, & it's okay for the ladies, they love to squirt, cum on my face, **makes slurrppping noises**, cum on my face. ME: I slightly turn away from him & continue my task, as he keeps getting louder & louder, I finally plug my ears & start la la laing....UGH! He laughs, & walks off.
I'm asking for support, hopefully from some intelligent ladies or grown men on this site. This is embarrassing for me to even write. Every day he seems to get a little more power & that's from me. I'm just giving my power away. The last time I had sexual harassment in a work place, I went to the management, where they made me feel worse & that they needed to know explicit details (I am not someone that asks for help very often, but I am learning to). & I asked for them to just keep us in separate area's, they couldn't even do that, they wanted to see how it played out, & if it really was sexual harassment. I was 20 than, much younger emotionally.
I guess I know my own answer already. I just need to know if anyone has experience with this in their life & what they did to resolve it? At this time, quitting this job, is not what I want to do. I don't have close friends that I can bounce this info off of. I don't even know how long I'll keep this thread up for. :/ Help Please.
I guess I feel if though I can not do anything because I have instigated it at times or reacted immaturely & now nothing can really be done.