"You're a girl and lifting heavy? Are you trying to get big or somethin'?"...UGHHHH!

[srico73]

So I'm doing my chest routine this morning and I get to my current favorite, the DB chest press where I've been reaching new PRs (45s...yay me lol) and I realize that I need someone to spot me! The only other person around me is this woman so I kindly asked her if she could spot me on my last set. She walks over me and I knock out my set and struggle with the last few reps. She then looks at me with a concerned look and says "why are you lifting so much? are you trying to get big? you're a girl, you shouldn't be lifting lighter and doing more reps". It nearly sent me over the edge! I paused my music, looked at her, realized that I had no time to really explain myself or what I am "trying" to do nor did I feel like attempting to empower this lady with such knowledge. I kindly thanked her for the advice and walked away.

Bless her heart for her concern but gosh, it kind of ruined my morning! Just felt the need to rant

[Sarah97]

My advice? Pick a new spotter next time lol. Good job on the 45s

[DaniGrrl]

My advice? Pick a new spotter next time lol. Good job on the 45s

^this^

I'm jealous of the 45's! I suck at benching LOL Keep up the awesome work - and don't let that woman ruin your day!

[thehobbes]

Ooo would've probably lost it, broke out into a front double bicep pose, and growled at her, and said "Yessss, I'm in BEAST MODE BABY!" SRS... perhaps I need to take a little less of my PWO. But I hate when people pretty much beat you over the head with their "you're a girl, you shouldn't lift heavy, why are you doing that" opinion - it does nothing but come across as negative. IMO it's the same thing as walking up to somebody and going "wow, that is one ugly shirt you have on!" Really, who does that?

When someone does or says something like that that gets to me a bit, I throw it in my Ham Rage Vault, yes SRS. Next time you're going hard on DL pull something out of your vault and BOOM - PRs everywhere! People, situations, and stressors that I run into in life fuel my lifting a lot of the time, turn the negative into a positive.

Congrats on the 45s OP. And yeah you need to throw that chick on the Bannished Spotter list.

[pattycake9]

God bless your heart on the 45's!

I did 35 for 2. Last chest day. Sheesh!

[srico73]

Thanks for making me feel MUCH better ladies

Lady is now banned from life...she can go back to her 5lbs DB curls because she doesn't want to "look bulky" lol.

[LilT1026]

Awesome job with the weight! Since I've really been lifting heavier, I've gotten STRONGER and SMALLER!! My clothes are all getting big on me. MYTH BUSTED I remember not being able to bench the bar and today I did 85#! Whoot!

[oregonchick76]

LOL. That kind of ruined your morning? You're too sensitive! Say, Hell YES I'm trying to get big! Bus seriously, why would you let someone's ignorant comment bother you so much? I get hit on by old guys in the gym, I have people coming up to me for lifting advice all the time, there's a couple of older guys who warn me not to hurt myself, etc. I just laugh... Stupid people can't be helped.

[CajunSpecial]

It's very frustrating. Not sure why she thought it was her business to tell you how to do your workout or what to do with your body. This kind of ignorance is exactly why I have told very very few people that I'm lifting. The ones that I have make comments like "Ok now, don't get carried away and get all big like those scary women body builders". Yeah, cause that happens, lol.

[britchick884]

Ooo would've probably lost it, broke out into a front double bicep pose, and growled at her, and said "Yessss, I'm in BEAST MODE BABY!"

love this you crack me up girl!!!

OP haters gonna hate just hit ignore and way to go on the 45's

[freebirdmac]

Never ask someone who doesn't look like they could lift near the weight you are doing to spot you. That has fail written all over it. A spotter has to be able to handle the weight should you fail and know how to do it. I know it can be frustrating to be ready for a weight where you need a spotter but no one is around. Let it go and do more sets at the previous weight. You will not lose anything by doing this.

Otherwise, your reaction was good.

[Ang123]

Never ask someone who doesn't look like they could lift near the weight you are doing to spot you. That has fail written all over it. A spotter has to be able to handle the weight should you fail and know how to do it. I know it can be frustrating to be ready for a weight where you need a spotter but no one is around. Let it go and do more sets at the previous weight. You will not lose anything by doing this.

Otherwise, your reaction was good.

What do you do if the only ones who can lift the weight are men and every man in the gym gives you heck for even being a female lifter so no way you are gonna ask them to spot you? The one other female BB in my gym is the owner and she is giving me crap this week because I'm "lifting too heavy" so I can't have her spot me. Her husband came over last week and yanked the pin out of the tricep machine and told me I am not allowed to lift that much anymore. LOL He then went and used only 15 lb dumbbells himself. Some of us don't have spotters and workout in hostile gyms.

BTW- is that really your pic? You have some awesome delts there! Very nice!

[rockangel]

What do you do if the only ones who can lift the weight are men and every man in the gym gives you heck for even being a female lifter so no way you are gonna ask them to spot you? The one other female BB in my gym is the owner and she is giving me crap this week because I'm "lifting too heavy" so I can't have her spot me. Her husband came over last week and yanked the pin out of the tricep machine and told me I am not allowed to lift that much anymore. LOL He then went and used only 15 lb dumbbells himself. Some of us don't have spotters and workout in hostile gyms.

BTW- is that really your pic? You have some awesome delts there! Very nice!

I would move gyms. If for some reason i could not, then i would take a look at the contract and see what it said and then get them that way.

Aint no way someone is coming to pull pins out on me!

IDK, no one ever messes with me in the gym. I dont have a spotter, but im usually pretty good at knowing how many reps i can get out during the current set. Almost failed on bench the other day, but pushed that rep out cause i wasnt about to let the guys see me not lift it! I am pretty much the only female i ever see lifting (except for the girl who comes and does tri's and thats it)

[DaniGrrl]

What do you do if the only ones who can lift the weight are men and every man in the gym gives you heck for even being a female lifter so no way you are gonna ask them to spot you? The one other female BB in my gym is the owner and she is giving me crap this week because I'm "lifting too heavy" so I can't have her spot me. Her husband came over last week and yanked the pin out of the tricep machine and told me I am not allowed to lift that much anymore. LOL He then went and used only 15 lb dumbbells himself. Some of us don't have spotters and workout in hostile gyms.

BTW- is that really your pic? You have some awesome delts there! Very nice!

Seriously? I'm sure they are concerned for liablility purposes and think if you get hurt lifting too heavily, you're gonna go after them. But unless there is something in your contract that specifically says you can't lift beyond a certain weight, I don't see how they have any right at all to tell you what you can and cannot do. I'd either switch gyms or have some kind of pow-wow with them if switching isn't possible.

I am annoyed on your behalf - what a bunch of crap!

[Wilma93x]

I have people try to argue about this all the time but I seriously don't have the patience to explain why I lift heavy. Nothing pisses me off more than when girls ask for advice on how I "toned up" (lawl) but never actually take the advice cause they're afraid of getting bulky.

[rdferguson]

What do you do if the only ones who can lift the weight are men and every man in the gym gives you heck for even being a female lifter so no way you are gonna ask them to spot you? The one other female BB in my gym is the owner and she is giving me crap this week because I'm "lifting too heavy" so I can't have her spot me. Her husband came over last week and yanked the pin out of the tricep machine and told me I am not allowed to lift that much anymore. LOL He then went and used only 15 lb dumbbells himself. Some of us don't have spotters and workout in hostile gyms.

BTW- is that really your pic? You have some awesome delts there! Very nice!

I want to punch that guy in the face. And/or stab him with the pin from the tricep machine.

[Ang123]

Seriously? I'm sure they are concerned for liablility purposes and think if you get hurt lifting too heavily, you're gonna go after them. But unless there is something in your contract that specifically says you can't lift beyond a certain weight, I don't see how they have any right at all to tell you what you can and cannot do. I'd either switch gyms or have some kind of pow-wow with them if switching isn't possible.

I am annoyed on your behalf - what a bunch of crap!

Yeah I am totally serious. I can't switch gyms because there's nothing left to switch too. I just got out of my contract with a gym that was 30 min drive away after 2 years. I won't whine again on how bad that one was but basically men would come tell me get off the machine whenever I was using it. I live in the deep south ok so guys are not cool with women doing "man stuff". So I found a gym real close to me as in 4 mile drive which I like the convenience. However there are no females lifting weights they just go to tanning bed or else treadmill then leave. This is the owner who yanked the pin out because he and his wife have this philosophy which she shared with me yesterday that big muscles are "out" and the look everyone should be achieving is the slim and toned look. Or in the case of her husband a scrawny lil weasel as he can't weigh more than 115. Let me put it another way I lift more than her husband does and I'm a fat chick still ... you see ... I'm pretty sure they don't like me showing them up. There were a bunch of guys in their yesterday who should have been stronger than me but they weren't even pushing more that 45 lb plates on the chest press. Some guy tried to show me up the first week I was there ...I was taking a few seconds breather on the ab machine and he says "its hard to get motivated isn't it?". I thought for a minute trying to figure out what he was getting at and then I just answered truthfully "not really... I've been working out 5-6 days a week for past two years straight so its just something you do every day". Every guy with in earshot just stopped and stared. They think because I am overweight that I don't do anything. Its just that I was way overweight so I still have a lot of work and I need to watch my diet more, but that doesn't mean I don't work out a lot. Same guy announced out loud I was "weird" because "girls don't lift weights and don't go fishing" as I had tried to talk fishing with him since there appears to be a pond near the gym and I was asking about that place if it was private. Thing is there is nowhere left to work out since I burnt my bridges at the other gym and any other place is 45 mins drive so that is too much expense for gas. And I think it would be the same anywhere in this part of the state the men here are just uneducated rednecks and still living in the 1920s. The gym owners don't even have computer access so they aren't even knowledgeable about current workout regimens and ideas. I printed her out some supplement information a few weeks ago as she couldn't believe what I had told her I had run across that made me ditch some of the stuff I had been taking. This place is very old school gym but its cheap, no contracts, conveniently located and less crowded so it has a few good points plus there is just nowhere else to go.. other than Curves. LOL

[freebirdmac]

I'd seriously think about buying equipment and lifting at home. Yeesh.

[birdiefu]

Where are all these gyms that people criticize others and men diss women lifting heavy? I work out at multiple gyms, lift heavier than a lot of the guys, and everyone plays nice. Stick in the ear buds, give a polite nod once in a while, let people work in, and gym life is good IMO.

Then again, I rarely ever ask for a spot, only when going for a bench 1RM, which isn't that often. I'm usually picky with my spot since most give a crappy lift-off and make me lose tightness.

OP - just keep on keeping on, I know what you mean about no time to explain yourself. I think you did good with your reaction - some people just don't get it or are misinformed, and trying to discuss anything in depth in the gym can be a PITA when you just want to lift

[rockangel]

I can say i am working out in a gym in the "deep south" as well, and still dont have these issues. Maybe i look mean??? dont know. but no one ever bothers me.
Yesterday, i did lat pull downs, looked where the pin was from the guy before me, and proceeded to work out with his weight. Not a care was given. Actually increased all my lifts yesterday and no one said a word to me about the weights i was using.
I find everyone to be polite, almost like the men have no clue how to handle me, so they are just very nice. But then i just come in, workout, and leave.

[kimm4]

I can say i am working out in a gym in the "deep south" as well, and still dont have these issues. Maybe i look mean??? dont know. but no one ever bothers me.
Yesterday, i did lat pull downs, looked where the pin was from the guy before me, and proceeded to work out with his weight. Not a care was given. Actually increased all my lifts yesterday and no one said a word to me about the weights i was using.
I find everyone to be polite, almost like the men have no clue how to handle me, so they are just very nice. But then i just come in, workout, and leave.

Same here.

I've been lifting for over 27 yrs, a good 20+ yrs at an all guys gym. Never once has anyone ever given me a hard time for lifting heavy.

[Kemo1990]

shouldve just kept your headphones in

[srico73]

This is the first time that this has happened to me and the most unfortunate thing about it all was that I was working out at a gym on a military base and the female that spotted me was an older Army officer.

I will be a lot more selective when I ask anyone to spot me lol!

[rockangel]

This is the first time that this has happened to me and the most unfortunate thing about it all was that I was working out at a gym on a military base and the female that spotted me was an older Army officer.

I will be a lot more selective when I ask anyone to spot me lol!

Odd, been working out (and working) on a military base for 2 years and still never had that happen. The only people that gave me advice where other competitors, and i worked out with a few males who did not compete and still got no crap about it. (ok, some good natured ribbing that i actually found pretty funny, which had to do with me being dubbed baby hulk, but thats it, lol)

[AlessandrinaS]

I think you handled it nicely... I understand that it might bother you (I'm also a little sensitive at times) but if I don't trust who I ask to spot (meaning that if I don't know them or I think they might have their two cents opinion to add) I don't even bother asking. You should be proud of yourself with that kind of weight!! POW!
The best part is when you start to get smaller by lifting heavy and the women who are lifting "light and many reps" stay the same... They'll think twice before making a comment then!

[pitRZ]

I am doing most workouts at home but since I am getting stronger I am joining the gym next week. I guess I outgrew all the weights we have, lol. But I "can't wait" for someone to try that crap on me... I am also in deep south as one of the posters here, small town and I am a newcomer from Europe... but as I said, can't wait for someone to do it so I can show them the beast mode, lol.
9 years in special forces and I bet I can do better than most of the men that would think they have the right to say anything.... urgh...

[l3al3yJane]

Also, never had this problem. Perhaps it is because I move decent weight, but don't look big so no one has ever tried to warn me that I'm going to get big. All I have ever gotten from both men and women is compliments on my body or lifts and questions about my routine, how long I've lifted, etc.

I think a good response in this situation when someone says, "You are going to get big, you shouldn't do that, yadda, yadda"...Is to say, "Geez, I WISH I could get bigger, but ya know as women we really lack the extra testosterone to increase muscle mass the same way a man would. I actually started doing this same lift with only 15lbs (or whatever) and now I'm at 45's. Despite that, I am not really bigger, just stronger, and it really helps in my daily life and means my body burns more calories at rest. Would you like to try a higher weight and I can spot you??" Maybe that will help spread the know??

[BuffBeast305]

Lol that reminds me of a day i was at the gym doing legs and this old man comes up to me and tells me my weights are too heavy. I just sorta smiled and nodded since he was so old and i didnt feel like arguing w him. He then told me he was 73 been training 50 years etc.. Then he pulled his shirt up and flexed on me! The whole thing was so ridiculous i couldnt even get mad all i could do was laugh at him

[pitRZ]

Why do people feel the need to give you advice at all? I mean I don't get it. I don't see myself doing that ever, unless I saw a person clearly doing something that is about to hurt them seriously... but I mean, if I want to socialize I will go to a bar, just leave me alone to workout lol

[5more]

*new goal* 45s you rock girl!