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  1. #1
    Registered User 70CrFb's Avatar
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    Unhappy When you have a gut feeling something isn't right...

    Is it best to rely on it? Usually, in the past, I have and it's never led me wrong. Here's the story, I'll try to use cliffs but explain as best I can.

    -been with boyfriend for 2 years
    -everything has been awesome thus far, barely ever fight, awesome sex, etc.
    -got in big, blow out fight Saturday
    -he basically told me I annoy him/get on his nerves
    -overheard him tell his single friend "it must be nice to be free" (meaning to be single again)
    -really hurt my feelings. I would never say something like that because it's not how I feel
    -since then, things have been real cold between us. Not feeling affectionate at all, not wanting to make a fool of myself
    -he has always had a screen lock on his phone but told me what it was...he changed it since the fight

    Question: is this shady behavior? He has always had random girls trying to hit on him/talk to him. He is very outgoing but he always tells me he only wants me, etc. Why would he change the lock on his phone at this point when it's always been the same & he knows I've always known it. Help me out here please. Serious responses appreciated... I love this guy. He's the best thing to happen to me. Hard working, talented, smart, generous/kind to everyone, treats me awesome except the very rare fight we have. Thanks!
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  2. #2
    Registered User Lindoras's Avatar
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    You need to cheat on him with me.
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  3. #3
    Registered User 70CrFb's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lindoras View Post
    You need to cheat on him with me.
    thats the thing... the thought has never crossed my mind. I would do anything for this guy...pretty sure if it came down to it I'd take a bullet, no lie. Thats why it hurt to hear "yeah dude, it must be nice to be free." Boom. Slap in the face.
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  4. #4
    Banned NoFXN's Avatar
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    lol you know you love him because he is a "lovable jerk"...

    The fact that he could be cheating on you excites you and makes your puss wet.

    ****ing lol

    Pls go
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  5. #5
    Registered User DreamWalkerOG's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 70CrFb View Post
    Is it best to rely on it? Usually, in the past, I have and it's never led me wrong. Here's the story, I'll try to use cliffs but explain as best I can.

    -been with boyfriend for 2 years
    -everything has been awesome thus far, barely ever fight, awesome sex, etc.
    -got in big, blow out fight Saturday
    -he basically told me I annoy him/get on his nerves
    -overheard him tell his single friend "it must be nice to be free" (meaning to be single again)
    -really hurt my feelings. I would never say something like that because it's not how I feel
    -since then, things have been real cold between us. Not feeling affectionate at all, not wanting to make a fool of myself
    -he has always had a screen lock on his phone but told me what it was...he changed it since the fight

    Question: is this shady behavior? He has always had random girls trying to hit on him/talk to him. He is very outgoing but he always tells me he only wants me, etc. Why would he change the lock on his phone at this point when it's always been the same & he knows I've always known it. Help me out here please. Serious responses appreciated... I love this guy. He's the best thing to happen to me. Hard working, talented, smart, generous/kind to everyone, treats me awesome except the very rare fight we have. Thanks!
    From personal experience if he is talking about it being nice to be free then that means part of him does want to be single and has most likely checked out from the relationship partly. Sorry but you should try talking to him, I had these thoughts about 2 years into my 3.5 year relationship and kept it to myself until recently. Bad mistake, dont let it fester inside of him. Better to break up now and save yourself pain down the road OP
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  6. #6
    Registered User LaDonnaMF's Avatar
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    I think it is time for a talk.

    What did you fight about? I think, in general but some people are different, guys don't really think hard about how they feel so the fight may have made him think a bit that he's not totally happy in the relationship. It seems like, as another poster said, he's partially checked out since the fight.

    You need to talk to him.. he could be thinking everything is fine while you feel like things have become cold and unaffectionate. In terms of the phone lock thing... have you always been checking to see if he changed the password or just since the fight? I would say it is rather shady that he changed it and pushes me further into thinking he may want out but doesn't mean he is cheating or talking to girls on his phone. Could also be a way for him to increase his independence

    Talk it out. If he is hesitant to even have the talk with you I would say it's close to being over... no ideas for what you can do to make him change his mind...
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  7. #7
    Do what u love whatevergirl's Avatar
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    i don't understand the phone lock? prior to this argument, he let you look through his phone? if so...why?
    is this something you asked to have access to, or ...?
    not understanding that piece of it. could u explain a bit more?
    • Live and let live

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  8. #8
    Registered User jbento92's Avatar
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    Don't over analyze, it'll drive you crazy. I don't think it's fair that he's treating you like this right now, but just give him some space and stay positive. I'm sure he'll come around.
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  9. #9
    Registered User b0yer2's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LaDonnaMF View Post
    I think it is time for a talk.

    What did you fight about? I think, in general but some people are different, guys don't really think hard about how they feel so the fight may have made him think a bit that he's not totally happy in the relationship. It seems like, as another poster said, he's partially checked out since the fight.

    You need to talk to him.. he could be thinking everything is fine while you feel like things have become cold and unaffectionate. In terms of the phone lock thing... have you always been checking to see if he changed the password or just since the fight? I would say it is rather shady that he changed it and pushes me further into thinking he may want out but doesn't mean he is cheating or talking to girls on his phone. Could also be a way for him to increase his independence

    Talk it out. If he is hesitant to even have the talk with you I would say it's close to being over... no ideas for what you can do to make him change his mind...
    fuk that. Its time to dump him. Show him how "nice" it is to be free. He will be begging for you back in a few weeks.

    And yes it is always the right thing to trust your gut. Your gut is never wrong.

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  10. #10
    Do what u love whatevergirl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by b0yer2 View Post
    fuk that. Its time to dump him. Show him how "nice" it is to be free. He will be begging for you back in a few weeks.

    And yes it is always the right thing to trust your gut. Your gut is never wrong.

    PS- made you green. Dunno why.
    i'm in agreement somewhat with this.
    I say trust your gut, too.

    I repped you as well, OP.

    At the end of the day, we get what we accept. No one is perfect...I'm sure there's things you might do that bug him, and he, to you. But, you talk things out if you care about the person. Second, I think he likes the attention from other women...so, the whole thing just says to me, he wants to be single. It happens, sometimes. Don't let it consume you.
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  11. #11
    Registered User carpediemme's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by whatevergirl View Post
    i'm in agreement somewhat with this.
    I say trust your gut, too.

    .. Second, I think he likes the attention from other women...so, the whole thing just says to me, he wants to be single. It happens, sometimes. Don't let it consume you.
    I second this

    I think one of the most valuable things I learned on this forum is pay attention to what people are doing. This is a million times better than what they're saying. You will feel worse if or when this guy bails on you when you had a gut feeling. Even if he hangs around, why are you willing to put yourself through the torment of feeling unimportant in his eyes and wondering all the time?

    Its ok that this hurts, its normal. but don't hurt yourself on top of this by stringing this along. His actions are simple and clear. sorry your'e going through this
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  12. #12
    A Quest for Aesthetics! DTRrex's Avatar
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    The sooner to learn to always trust your gut the sooner life will get a lot easier for you.
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  13. #13
    Registered boozer Liff_Wates's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by carpediemme View Post
    I second this

    I think one of the most valuable things I learned on this forum is pay attention to what people are doing. This is a million times better than what they're saying. You will feel worse if or when this guy bails on you when you had a gut feeling. Even if he hangs around, why are you willing to put yourself through the torment of feeling unimportant in his eyes and wondering all the time?

    Its ok that this hurts, its normal. but don't hurt yourself on top of this by stringing this along. His actions are simple and clear. sorry your'e going through this
    This person is correct. He's lost interest in the relationship. You might be able to keep it on life support for a few months but the writing is on the wall. I've seen several guys do this before, they want out but they'll hang around because they feel bad about dumping their partner. You can either wait it out or take the bull by the horns and talk to him about it, knowing that it will probably be the end of things.
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  14. #14
    Registered User 70CrFb's Avatar
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    Thanks so much for all the solid answers guys. I talked to him about it. I told him if he's lost interest to just man up and tell me, that I'd rather get it over with now than later. He still insists that he didn't mean what he said, that he was just frustrated and had a bad day. We went away this weekend with friends and everything felt back to normal. No arguing, fighting, nothing. Besides this rough patch, he honestly treats me like a queen, calls me Mrs. __his last name__, etc. Oh and about the lock on his phone, it was never about me looking through his phone (texts and what not). He told me what the pass code was so I could access his phone to play music on road trips, etc, and he told me what the new pass code is (he changed it because his co-worker used his phone and he didn't want him to know the old pass code). So I feel ok about that now. I feel like if he wanted out, he would have and should have taken the opportunity to do it when I told him to man up and tell me. Thanks again guys.
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