I'm not a man.

[InstantLoser]

I don't know what I am, but a man I'm not. I'm not even a boy. I'm some amorphous blobular piece of ****, lacking in definition.

I am completely incapable of socializing. I've tried for 2 weeks in a row. I go to clubs/bars, for a couple hours on Saturday nights, but all I can do is sit there. I can't talk to anyone. At all. I might as well not even be there. I just sat at a sports bar for like 90 minutes and didn't say a word to anyone, other than the guy who took my money at the door, and the bartender who served my diet coke. That's it. I sat on their deck and watched football highlights on TV. I don't even like football. The best I could muster was to smile awkwardly at a couple girls, whom did not reciprocate. It's fukking stupid. I can talk to people I work with, or my neighbors just fine, but I can't approach strangers, especially women.

I've been reading this forum for 6 months. In that time frame I've taken off 60 pounds, and added quite a bit of muscle (still WIP, but much improved). I still haven't gained a single iota of confidence, or the abilities espoused here on this forum. No amount of advice has, or is going to help. I just can't do it. It's like I don't even belong to the human race, because if I did, there's no way it'd be this hard to relate to other people. The absolute best I can do is just sit there quietly and try not to be too weird. How the fukk is this considered living? Is this all I have to look forward to? Weekdays at work and weekends either in front of my computer/tv, or spent silently at the bar? Fukk me, life is pointless. There's zero meaning to anything. If I've learned anything reading this forum it's that I'm going to get all kinds of hate for this thread, but I've totally stopped caring. You'll tell me I need more confidence, or to work on my self-esteem. Work on it? How the fuk do you work on it? It's not something you can work on. You either have it or you don't. I don't. That's it. End of story. If losing 60 pounds didn't help, nothing is going to. Please hate me because I HATE ME too.

You know what bothers me the most? I'm going to have to keep doing this for roughly 30 more years, and then I'll be old enough that maybe my desire for a woman will diminish enough that I can get some peace. 30 more goddamn years. I must have done something seriously wrong in a previous life, because I'm spending this one in Hell.

[tential]

Ya it's impossible to socialize or do anything remotely social for you. I wouldn't try it anymore.

Get a big screen so you can feel more immersed in porn and stock up on videogames and other hobbies you can do by yourself. At least you don't have to worry about spending money at hte bar!

[InstantLoser]

Ya it's impossible to socialize or do anything remotely social for you. I wouldn't try it anymore.

Get a big screen so you can feel more immersed in porn and stock up on videogames and other hobbies you can do by yourself. At least you don't have to worry about spending money at hte bar!

Way ahead of you buddy. Unfortunately I'm bored of that ****, which is why I started trying the bar scene. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

[Violator009]

[InstantLoser]

Do you store situtionally appropriate memes like that on your PC? You posted that pretty fast. Repped for content.

[NaturalLifter1]

OP that post is riddled with negativity pal. I can't tell you to buck up or get more confidence as you're right mate it's not a choice but what you can do is develop yourself to try and improve the way you feel. Congrats on losing the 60lbs. Heck of an achievement. Take some pride and confidence from the drive it took to do that. Throw yourself into the gym. Look at some new hobbies. Book clubs. Conferences. The bar is such a crap social dynamic. Take a new class or do slmething which forces you to interact socially with other. Forget about whether it's male or female. Just widen your horizons and the rest will fall into place but you really do need to sort out your negative attitude bro. That chit will tear you up

[InstantLoser]

OP that post is riddled with negativity pal. I can't tell you to buck up or get more confidence as you're right mate it's not a choice but what you can do is develop yourself to try and improve the way you feel. Congrats on losing the 60lbs. Heck of an achievement. Take some pride and confidence from the drive it took to do that. Throw yourself into the gym. Look at some new hobbies. Book clubs. Conferences. The bar is such a crap social dynamic. Take a new class or do slmething which forces you to interact socially with other. Forget about whether it's male or female. Just widen your horizons and the rest will fall into place but you really do need to sort out your negative attitude bro. That chit will tear you up

I agree with the bolded portion of your post. That said, I'm being negative because I keep having negative experiences. That's how people's personalities work. You are what happens to you.

[NaturalLifter1]

I agree with the bolded portion of your post. That said, I'm being negative because I keep having negative experiences. That's how people's personalities work. You are what happens to you.

I disagree. You are what you want to be. It's your choice pal. You can't blame anyone or anything for how YOU feel. Stop making excuses and blaming others or the situations you find yourself in. You determine how YOU feel. Sooner you realise that and stop letting others influence your feelings the happier you'll be

[InstantLoser]

I disagree. You are what you want to be. It's your choice pal. You can't blame anyone or anything for how YOU feel. Stop making excuses and blaming others or the situations you find yourself in. You determine how YOU feel. Sooner you realise that and stop letting others influence your feelings the happier you'll be

At no point in my thread did I blame anyone but myself.

[RandomMisc]

The weight isn't the problem, nor is it the solution. You can't expect to lose weight and have it magically fix all the other **** that's wrong with your perspective/self-image, etc. All of those issues are still there. You need to keep at it and address them head on. Don't give up on your fitness journey--it's important for you to be the healthiest version of yourself possible. You owe that to yourself, brah. Once your head is in the right place, you'll be glad you stuck with it and lost the weight!


Why do you need to go to bar/clubs to meet people? Why not do it in an environment where you're already sharing a common interest?

And have you joined toastmasters yet? If not, do that chit. Srs. It's not a cure all... you'll still have social anxiety if you have it now, but you'll have the confidence to push through it, knowing you have the conversational/speaking skills to nail every conversation. I still don't particularly "like" speaking in public or to strangers... I'd rather not do it. But I know that even if I don't enjoy it, I can still rock any convo and impress the pants off people just by being my quirky, lulzy self. Have never left a party, bbq, wedding, event, whatever where I knew only one or two people and was thrown in with a random group... and not heard afterward from the people I knew that I was "the hit of the party" or "so hilarious" or "such a pleasure to be around."

However, sit me in a bar by myself... and lol. I don't even talk to the bartender, except to place my order. Not my environment. At all.

Toastmasters will help you build confidence, and get you comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. That's important. When you have the experience and confidence to know that even though you feel awkward as ****, you will STILL rock the convo, it makes pushing through it so much easier!

And also look into meetups or some kind of groups/clubs/charities/whatever you can be passionate about. If you're into politics, join a political group or volunteer for a campaign. If your grandma died of breast cancer, go get involved with a breast cancer organization. If you like kids, go be a big brother or volunteer with a local community organization that helps poor or sick kids. You're into lifting now, I assume? Go volunteer as an assistant coach with the special olympics, teaching tards how to lift. Or bowl. Join a bowling league--they have "drinking leagues" (you don't actually have to drink) for fun, specifically for people who suck at the actual game. Same with darts, or pool. Join a fraternal organization. Find a member and get yourself an invite. You can hang out there with chill dudes in a low-key environment where it may be easier to connect, and then branch out from there, picking up invites to do other **** with them. Around here, volunteer fire companies are huge--dudes of all ages are into that chit. And around here, every fire company has a bar room built in, where the members often hang out and drink, play pool, shoot darts, and they have a few nights a week open to the public. Go to concerts... especially big outdoor festival type ones. They have them for every genre, and the festival culture makes it less intimidating to interact with people since everyone is looking for a good time and open to meeting people.

There are meetups for damn near everything. You can also post on craigslist looking for platonic friends who share your interests. Don't knock it if you haven't tried it. I've met some interesting people on that crap.

Start focusing more on doing things you love, things that challenge you, things that bring you joy... there have to be things you like doing, or would like to try. Take classes. Cooking, baking, DIY, whatever. Again, you're in an environment where it's easier to talk because you already have a mutual interest and an activity to discuss.

A bar is a really ****ty "destination," imo. Go to places you actually want to be, and do things you actually like or will take something away from.



And stop beating yourself up! How's it going with the exercises Hub laid out on his forgiveness video? Have you started them yet?

[Violator009]

did u even at least talk to the bartender, rofl

[InstantLoser]

did u even at least talk to the bartender, rofl

I sat on their outdoor deck, so no. Too loud inside to have a conversation anyway, not that it matters.

[InstantLoser]

The weight isn't the problem, nor is it the solution. You can't expect to lose weight and have it magically fix all the other **** that's wrong with your perspective/self-image, etc. Don't give up on your fitness journey--it's important for you to be the healthiest version of yourself possible. You owe that to yourself, brah.


Why do you need to go to bar/clubs to meet people? Why not do it in an environment where you're already sharing a common interest?

And have you joined toastmasters yet? If not, do that chit. Srs. It's not a cure all... you'll still have social anxiety if you have it now, but you'll have the confidence to push through it, knowing you have the conversational/speaking skills to nail every conversation. I still don't particularly "like" speaking in public or to strangers... I'd rather not do it. But I know that even if I don't enjoy it, I can still rock any convo and impress the pants off people just by being my quirky, lulzy self. Have never left a party, bbq, wedding, event, whatever where I knew only one or two people and was thrown in with a random group... and not heard afterward from the people I knew that I was "the hit of the party" or "so hilarious" or "such a pleasure to be around."

However, sit me in a bar by myself... and lol. I don't even talk to the bartender, except to place my order. Not my environment. At all.

Toastmasters will help you build confidence, and get you comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. That's important. When you have the experience and confidence to know that even though you feel awkward as ****, you will STILL rock the convo, it makes pushing through it so much easier!

And also look into meetups or some kind of groups/clubs/charities/whatever you can be passionate about. If you're into politics, join a political group or volunteer for a campaign. If your grandma died of breast cancer, go get involved with a breast cancer organization. If you like kids, go be a big brother or volunteer with a local community organization that helps poor or sick kids. You're into lifting now, I assume? Go volunteer as an assistant coach with the special olympics, teaching tards how to lift. Or bowl. Join a bowling league--they have "drinking leagues" (you don't actually have to drink) for fun, specifically for people who suck at the actual game. Same with darts, or pool. Join a fraternal organization. Find a member and get yourself an invite. You can hang out there with chill dudes in a low-key environment where it may be easier to connect, and then branch out from there, picking up invites to do other **** with them. Around here, volunteer fire companies are huge--dudes of all ages are into that chit. And around here, every fire company has a bar room built in, where the members often hang out and drink, play pool, shoot darts, and they have a few nights a week open to the public. Go to concerts... especially big outdoor festival type ones. They have them for every genre, and the festival culture makes it less intimidating to interact with people since everyone is looking for a good time and open to meeting people.

There are meetups for damn near everything. You can also post on craigslist looking for platonic friends who share your interests. Don't knock it if you haven't tried it. I've met some interesting people on that crap.

Start focusing more on doing things you love, things that challenge you, things that bring you joy... there have to be things you like doing, or would like to try. Take classes. Cooking, baking, DIY, whatever. Again, you're in an environment where it's easier to talk because you already have a mutual interest and an activity to discuss.

A bar is a really ****ty "destination," imo. Go to places you actually want to be, and do things you actually like or will take something away from.



And stop beating yourself up! How's it going with the exercises Hub laid out on his forgiveness video? Have you started them yet?

I have never heard of Toastmasters. I will consult Google.

I appreciate your suggestions but the only hobbies that interest me are done at home, by myself. And I'm losing interest in those too. I pretty much spend most of my time wanting to die, but fortunately I'm too big a pussy to do that either. So 30 more years it is!

Finally, yes I took the time to follow Hublifes' "forgiveness" video. As you can see, I still hate myself. Possibly more than ever, since I got to spend time really THINKING about all my failings (you know, as the exercise instructed!) and all the people that made my youth so goddamn miserable. I tried forgiving myself for being a piece of ****, but somehow it all felt rather trite and meaningless.

Random, you seem to be a caring sort, so thanks for the effort.

[RandomMisc]

Have you seen a doctor for the depression recently? I'm not really an advocate of meds, but in some cases, they do help. If you haven't, it may be worth discussing with your doctor.

And if he hasn't, make sure your family doc is keeping on top of checking things like your test and thyroid levels. That **** can throw you off big time if it's out of whack.

I have never heard of Toastmasters. I will consult Google.

I appreciate your suggestions but the only hobbies that interest me are done at home, by myself. And I'm losing interest in those too. I pretty much spend most of my time wanting to die, but fortunately I'm too big a pussy to do that either. So 30 more years it is!

Finally, yes I took the time to follow Hublifes' "forgiveness" video. As you can see, I still hate myself. Possibly more than ever, since I got to spend time really THINKING about all my failings (you know, as the exercise instructed!) and all the people that made my youth so goddamn miserable. I tried forgiving myself for being a piece of ****, but somehow it all felt rather trite and meaningless.

Random, you seem to be a caring sort, so thanks for the effort.

Sigh. The point wasn't to dwell on them, brah. It was to let it go. You have to accept that you're flawed. It's okay to have ****ed up, and it'll be okay when you continue to **** up. Even right now, it's fine. That's part of being human. We have all fukked up. We've all done dumb chit, and we've all been beaten down by someone... but you have to let that **** go. Stop beating yourself up over it--it's not doing you any good... just holding you back.

Everything you've ever done wrong and everything that has been done to you is all in your past, not your present and not your future. You decide who you're going to be every day, with every decision you make. Your past doesn't have to define you or dictate your future. You get to decide whether it will or not. Stop letting the guy you used to be **** chit up for the guy you are right now, in this moment.

Start finding things you like about yourself and focus on that stuff. What are your better qualities? What are you good at? What do you "give back" to those around you? You've lost 60 lbs.. that's huge! Be proud of that chit! That's one positive right there. Maybe you're funny as hell, or there's someone in your life you can always make smile, even when he/she has had the worst day ever. Maybe you're a good listener. Maybe you're altruistic and generous. Maybe you're extremely loyal, of sound character, etc. Whatever it is... focus on the positive stuff. And then work on adding to the list by being a better you in some small way, every day.

Start doing more things that give you a sense of purpose. I don't know what your hobbies/interests are or what you've got going on, but if you don't currently, seriously look into getting involved, in some way, in "giving back." When you can tangibly see that you've actually done something positive... and in some way, shaped someone else's life experience into a more positive one, even if just by making someone smile for a minute, it gives you a huge sense of purpose and feelsgoodman. Find a way to use your skills or qualities or whatever to positively impact someone else's life. The more you "give" of yourself, and the more positivity you put out into the world, the more that comes back to you. Yes, aware that it sounds corny as fuk. lulz.


Keep doing the mirror exercise. If you stick with it, eventually, you'll get there.

11-12 years ago, I was fat as fuk, hated myself, hated my life, had no relationship with anyone in my family, no real friends, wasn't leaving my house, was fighting the urge to off myself every single day, and was spiraling in the worst way. I thought it was the weight for a while, lost a good bit, still miserable, soc I packed it back on. Fail. But I'm a totally different person today... and now, when I look into my eyes in the mirror, I smile like the biggest dork ever, I'm happy as chit, and I love the fuk out of who I am. I'm still not a size 2--never will be--but that **** doesn't matter. It's not about the outside, it's about the way you view yourself and the world around you. You have to put in the work, every day, even if it seems silly. You have to continually challenge the negative, destructive beliefs you hold about yourself. You have to keep your head up and make the conscious effort, multiple times daily, to correct your negative thought patterns and tell yourself to knock it off and buck up.

It's all you. No one else can do it for you... there isn't a magic pill, there isn't a magic number on the scale, there isn't a certain number of drinks or women or anything else that will "fix" your life. Even if you you were 6'3, 230, had amazing friends, and a pool of beautiful women fighting for a chance to lick the sweat off your balls, you'd be miserable. It's not about external factors. It's all about what's going on in your mind--both consciously and subconsciously. You can retrain that **** by consistently stopping yourself from going to a negative place, and by shifting your focus to more positive things. It takes effort and it takes time.


Don't go the route of these other whiney FA fuks. We have faith in you, bro. You're the one "FA" guy on here in recent months that actually seemed to WANT change. Don't give up on yourself. Pack up the negativity and throw it out the fkn window.

[Legend1617]

us Fa's are whiney as phuck because we have yet to achieve what most in the world consider a normal part of life..It is extremely difficult to get a girl

[Mr Beer]

1. I'd suggest professional help, RH is all well and good but trained personnel have their place too.

2. When RM suggest meeting people through mutual hobbies, those activities don't have to be your big thing. I engage in hobbies that don't particularly interest me because of the social aspect.

[TheJizzler]

I used that 'I only like solo hobbies' excuse myself bro. It was depression setting in. It's sometimes possible to fix yourself up, but I recommend seeing your doc if things aren't improving soon. Help give you a kickstart so you're better able to keep working on yourself.

Regarding socialising, don't expect to become a social dynamo overnight. That will take a couple years, and you'll have to find your niche, too.

You've already taken the first steps, and seem genuinely interested in changing. Gjdm - that's the most important thing. Your RH posts suggest you have a sense of humour, a working set of values, and the discipline to lose 60lbs (massive props edit: 6 months? phuark) so all the building blocks are there. Just keep working at it and give it time.


Beer's right about socialising via hobbies. Self-critical people won't start a hobby unless they can get to a high level in it. 90% of people at any club are half-assing the activity and only going for social reasons. Once you realise this, it gets easier to try new things.







Fully agree with all the advice RM gave. Except the bit about advertising for platonic friends on Craigslist. I can't shake the feeling that you'd end up dismembered.

[Mr Beer]

Except the bit about advertising for platonic friends on Craigslist. I can't shake the feeling that you'd end up dismembered.

6'3", 321lbs? I think he'd end some serial killer's promising career.

"It was all going so well for Maniacal Marv, then one day he got a reply from Instant Loser...."

[Ranga91]

You are what you think, your thoughts create you as a person. Straight off the bat your name instantloser, you reek of no confidence and self pity. Majority of people don't have time to make people like you feel better about themselves and go out of their way to talk to you. Its up to you to put yourself in these situations, its up to you to think a bit more confident and believe you have a chance at some social interaction or a relationship. Im sure you have some attractive qualities or talents that would attract people to you but hiding them away and shying away from others is not helping your situation, I think in your head you have to repeatedly be positive and reinforce things that make you believe you aren't a loser and people do want to be around you.

Gaming might be a strong point so maybe joining a gaming forum of some sort so you can relate to others maybe even meet up and hangout and then branch your connections from there, find common ground between people or even go out with work colleagues and meet their friends. Saying you can't do something is stupid and doesn't help anyone, be positive start saying you can and if you fail so what everyone does no ones perfect get back up and try again.

[happywithit]

You're lucky. None of my neighbours speak English so I had to start evening courses. I've noticed the accountancy courses have a good mix of men and women, but I'm doing hairdressing, which mainly female. Still, made friends with a couple of the girls and we went out a week ago to town (where I met the guy I'm now dating who happens to be the hot guy in my gym who I couldn't even make eye contact with for the last 12 months, he is that sexy)


so, you need to get out, and make new friends (perhaps in a course so you are also improving your mind or skills set) who you can go out with and feel confident enough to then approach people.

All that happened in the last two weeks. I know you will say it's easier for girls or whatever, but I do suffer slightly with social anxiety.

[SJones423]

I know it may seem little coming from someone who's never had a problem getting women, though seriously mate, it's easy. I've got friends who're overweight, never lift and have no facial aesthetics yet they still manage without any real problems. Why? Confidence. Confidence breeds confidence. If you're in a group who will happily approach women then you'll realize it really is no big deal and you'd probably stand a better chance of succeeding.

Oh, and forget about the bar scene as a place to socialize/pick up because they suck unless you go with good company... If you have good friends to go with, let loose, drink some alcohol and lose your inhibitions for the night. It'd do you the world of good.

[Dyzone]

First of all, we all gonna make it brah.
You at least went to the bar do you not think that is some kind of improvment ?

I would recoment you to became sick ****, something Zyzz alike. Not by aesthetic but spiritwise.
Just stop carrying about what the people gonna think and MAKE them to interact with you. I mean like everyone. Just get as much attencion on you as posible ( but dont be a scumbag).

You might have learned already that success is all about work you put in. That is what BB is all about. You might have argue that there is a huge factor genetics but it doesnt mean that people who dont have the perfect one do not do BB. They do and they work 3 times harder.
You eventually gonna get better. But i might take longer . Its all up to you.

[GregariousWolf]

If you really hate yourself, then people are going to pick up on it. People aren't psychic, but there are cues that you telegraph in your posture and expression that people can pick up on.

You really need to get to the root of your self-loathing, because that is what is holding you back. Online advice is good for some things, but you should consider a psychologist for counseling. I don't think you need a psychiatrist because they are for people who are really unable to function. It doesn't sound like you have hallucinations, and you can hold down a job and have normal conversations with people in the real world. Anticipating a response, by "normal conversation" what I mean is if someone asked you something you could explain it, you can follow directions, you can give directions, etc. On the other hand, my step-mom has schizophrenia and sees demons and angels when she's not on lithium. She can't function.

You're not crazy, but you may benefit from a psychologist who can help you with your self-image. You're wrong about self-esteem. It is something that can be changed. You have the discipline and determination to lose fat, you have the ability to change yourself in other ways. If you tell yourself you can't, then you're guaranteed to fail. Keep losing the fat. This is a sad but true kind of thing, but if you look more attractive people will relate to you more positively. This will help, but it is not the solution to your problems. If you still hate yourself, other people will detect it and try to avoid you.

They are an extremely hard habits to break, self-pity and self-loathing. You have been doing it for so long, that they are very easy thought patterns to fall in to. When trying to break a bad habit you are trying to establish different thought patterns, different neural pathways. It is like learning a new skill. It is like learning a new language. It will be artificial feeling at first. You can't think in the new language. You're literally trying to reprogram your brain. It is easy to fall back into old patterns. You keep falling back on your old language to think about things. It requires so much effort because you are trying to establish new neural pathways. This requires energy. It requires work, discipline and dedication to develop new ones. A lot of people don't want to put in the work. If you want to change, though, you have to.

You have to convince yourself that you don't hate yourself even though you think you do. The reason this is so difficult is because you have been hating yourself for so long that the thought patterns are very well established. Look up cognitive bias. That's what you're fighting. The task ahead of you is equivalent to trying to force yourself to change your religion or political affiliation. And you're trying to do so without the "benefit" of a tragic event or crisis that disturbs your usual thinking patterns.

[Charlesscott]

The weight isn't the problem, nor is it the solution. You can't expect to lose weight and have it magically fix all the other **** that's wrong with your perspective/self-image, etc. All of those issues are still there. You need to keep at it and address them head on. Don't give up on your fitness journey--it's important for you to be the healthiest version of yourself possible. You owe that to yourself, brah. Once your head is in the right place, you'll be glad you stuck with it and lost the weight!


Why do you need to go to bar/clubs to meet people? Why not do it in an environment where you're already sharing a common interest?

This, Forget the bar and go do an activity. meetup.com has a lot of local groups where you can do activities with groups of people. Its much easier talking to people that way. And you don't even need to talk that much because you will doing an activity. You might be really quiet at first and only say a few words but after time you might find some people that you will easily be able to talk to.

[Boffothe]

I would be out of my element just sitting in a sports bar by myself too. Join some clubs and activities. Today. Go. Sign up. Before you whine and say you only like solo hobbies, that's the point, go join something you wouldn't normally do. Something totally outside your box.

[InstantLoser]

6'3", 321lbs? I think he'd end some serial killer's promising career.

"It was all going so well for Maniacal Marv, then one day he got a reply from Instant Loser...."

I've been using Craigslist for about 7 years to purchase computer parts. Its relatively safe so long as you choose a proper venue, although I have at times gone to someones house or had them over to my apartment depending on what was being bought or sold. Gotta test parts before paying and whatnot. Thus far nobody has tried anything funny.

[tential]

Way ahead of you buddy. Unfortunately I'm bored of that ****, which is why I started trying the bar scene. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Try DRINKING at the bar brah. 10 drinks in and you'll talk to someone I bet.

Edit: Since you just mentioned PC Parts, pick up a crossfire 7950 or 7870 or something and enjoy some PC gaming. I just fired up Crysis 3 (I'm so phucking behind I know) and lol at next gen consoles. Just keep playing games and pass away your free time.

I'd tell you the normal advice but it seems you don't really care to hear it so here is the "recluse advice" for ya.

A good setup for you:
110-130 inch screen
Projector
Decent PC ( GTX 780, Crossfire 7870s (or above), something around this although I don't think I'd phuck with Nvidia current shiit since no 3GB+ Ram and next gen games (BF 4) are already recommending 3 GB VRAM minimum),
A good porn stash/password collection (Search porn passwords til you find some)
Drugs/alcohol (Never hurts to be drunk/high while playing a game)
Decent internet (no one likes to lag when they play games!)
VPN (You'll want to be behind one to download movies/TV)

Boom, perfect recluse setup. Maybe pick up an MMO too (Not WoW a real MMO).

That should eat up all your free time, especially if you pick up a good MMO and join a top 10 clan. There ya go, free time used up you'll have fun! As for pussy, find a girl off backpage who doesn't charge much in your area (You're in kentucky I'm sure there are cheap sloots out there DTF for 50 dollars), and use that every 2 weeks. Hell, phuck her consistently enough and she may give you a frequent customer discount!

Hope this helps brah! I can't wait to pick up my own 7950 (I already have on eactually) to get to crossfire for BF4. I can't even wait for BF 4 Beta comes out October yay!

Edit: I go out drinking a lot, especially last year in college, and I still never go to bars. I phucking hate them. I'll go to a house party, a club, etc. but a bar I just don't know. Even with friends, I do NOT have fun at a bar. It's not for all.

[DizzySmalls]

You diagnosed with anything OP? You sound like you might be an Avoidant.

Also, having been a person who lost a lot of weight previously but was still not lean, nobody but you will know you have been making self-improvement efforts. The rest of the world is still going to judge you as a fat person until you are no longer fat by their standards. People are not usually all too friendly towards fat people in an environment like a bar if you don't have an established social group around you. I would forget about that scene and continue improving.

And OP, you are not so far off about self-image. It's extremely resistant to change, and largely set in stone by late adolescence/young adulthood. It's a daily struggle to stay above water on that for people with a distorted self-concept. Accept that, and try to get positive momentum on that front.

There's a lot of benefits to being humble and not fronting when in small groups and low pressure social situations.

[InstantLoser]

Try DRINKING at the bar brah. 10 drinks in and you'll talk to someone I bet.

Edit: Since you just mentioned PC Parts, pick up a crossfire 7950 or 7870 or something and enjoy some PC gaming. I just fired up Crysis 3 (I'm so phucking behind I know) and lol at next gen consoles. Just keep playing games and pass away your free time.

I'd tell you the normal advice but it seems you don't really care to hear it so here is the "recluse advice" for ya.

A good setup for you:
110-130 inch screen
Projector
Decent PC ( GTX 780, Crossfire 7870s (or above), something around this although I don't think I'd phuck with Nvidia current shiit since no 3GB+ Ram and next gen games (BF 4) are already recommending 3 GB VRAM minimum),
A good porn stash/password collection (Search porn passwords til you find some)
Drugs/alcohol (Never hurts to be drunk/high while playing a game)
Decent internet (no one likes to lag when they play games!)
VPN (You'll want to be behind one to download movies/TV)

Boom, perfect recluse setup. Maybe pick up an MMO too (Not WoW a real MMO).

That should eat up all your free time, especially if you pick up a good MMO and join a top 10 clan. There ya go, free time used up you'll have fun! As for pussy, find a girl off backpage who doesn't charge much in your area (You're in kentucky I'm sure there are cheap sloots out there DTF for 50 dollars), and use that every 2 weeks. Hell, phuck her consistently enough and she may give you a frequent customer discount!

Hope this helps brah! I can't wait to pick up my own 7950 (I already have on eactually) to get to crossfire for BF4. I can't even wait for BF 4 Beta comes out October yay!

Edit: I go out drinking a lot, especially last year in college, and I still never go to bars. I phucking hate them. I'll go to a house party, a club, etc. but a bar I just don't know. Even with friends, I do NOT have fun at a bar. It's not for all.

Heh, the irony... One of the few things I'm actually proud of is my rig.

i7 3930k, w/Corsair H100i watercooler
16GB Corsair Vengeance DDR3 1600
2x Sapphire 7970 Vapor-X 6GB in Crossfire
2x OCZ 120GB SATA III SSD's in RAID 0
Gigabyte GA-X79-UP4 Motherboard
Western Digital 2TB SATA III Storage
LG BluRay burner
SoundBlaster Recon3D PCI Express Audio
Antec TruPower 1000w Modular PSU + FSP 450w daisychained via Add2PSU
CoolerMaster HAF932X Full tower
Shimian 27" QHD IPS 2560x1440 monitor


I'm losing interest in MMO's though.

[DocHol1day]

well by god posting a crybaby thread on the internet surely will solve all your problems....