Low confidence in the Gym - Please help

[RizzleKickz]

I am 6'2 165 lbs and I am struggling to make gains, however I have increased my size and strength so I am doing ok.

My main issues are losing my strength when lifting, I don't lift too heavy to avoid injury but when I do lift I get unmotivated really quickly which leads to fatigue.

I think my confidence in the gym is low which leads to poor performance, I always workout alone and as I am much smaller than most the other gym goers I feel I am being stared at and want to leave. The big guys always workout in the area I need to be lifting but when I ever attempt to lift I can't help but look around and there is always a few guys staring at me and it feels like they are judging me, and this causes me want to stop and leave.

I sometimes lose my breath because the anxiety makes my breathing change, and then I start to feel exhausted really quick, though I've barely got through my first set, after this I usually get in a bad mood and just finish my sets half heartedly.

I really hate that this happens because I love lifting and when I've had good workout sessions I've left feeling great.

How can I overcome this?

[foxbody351w]

I know for me it was really hard getting over my "self esteem" issues or whatever you call them when I had to workout on post with literally hundreds of soldiers and I was basically the only woman in the weight room. I would never finish my whole workout because I was self conscious but then I realized one day that I was letting all these nobodys keep me from getting the body I wanted. Who are they? no one! and for the most part no one gives a flying f*ck about you..get over yourself. Seriously. Everyone else is there just like you to look better, and if you really watch, the "big" guys are just as self conscious.

Sure people watch others in between sets or when they are waiting on a machine. But I know when I look at someone fat or too skinny..as in your case..i see what they are doing and what their workout looks like. Are they in the gym regularly with a plan and not just walking around aimlessly "oh hey let me do a set of db curls, hmmm shoulder presses sound good"

When you realize that you are letting these people keep you from getting the body you want then you will finally get angry and have had enough and go to the gym for YOU and only you.

Dont wish it were easier, wish you were better.

[Dwilson50]

It always confuses me why people get this weird feeling around others. We are the same species, we all have the same color blood, and one day we will die. Do not let the people around you demotivate you. Somewhere along the line you have abilities that far exceed theirs and if physical is your weakpoint, be thankful for that. Now as for working out alone, get a spotter or a trainer. Gaining strength requires lifting heavy weight and having a spotter will propel you to the next level. I urge you to not give up though, espically since you feel so passionate about weight lifting.

Best of luck my good man!

[korvix]

[RizzleKickz]

It always confuses me why people get this weird feeling around others. We are the same species, we all have the same color blood, and one day we will die. Do not let the people around you demotivate you. Somewhere along the line you have abilities that far exceed theirs and if physical is your weakpoint, be thankful for that. Now as for working out alone, get a spotter or a trainer. Gaining strength requires lifting heavy weight and having a spotter will propel you to the next level. I urge you to not give up though, espically since you feel so passionate about weight lifting.

Best of luck my good man!

I am a bit of a loner and have no one who can spot me

[PersianWarrior]

Everyone is in the gym for the same reason. to live a healthier life. Don't be afraid of anyone because everyone started off from the bottom. No one is staring at you...they might just be like o we got a new guy who comes to the gym.. you can also introduce yourself to people who frequently work out at your gym. Another thing you can do is find a friend to workout with. seriously dont worry what other people think.

[davesterrr]

I go to a hardcore gym that pretty much only have big guys training there and i'm 5.6 and 130 pounds.
Imagen how i first felt at the gym.
But then i realized that everyone has to start small and it doesn't matter how much or how little i lift because i lift for myself to gain muscle not ego.
The people at the gym will most likely not even pay attention to you at all, and personally i found that all of the bigger guys are actually a lot more friendly and helpful willing to give advice whenever you ask.
Also it encourages me more to see big guys lifting in the gym because then i know that if i work hard and do everything right i can become big like them.
I hate seeing people with a below average body that don't even look like they work out who are busy on their phone all day so i prefer surrounding myself with serious people.

Anyways man, i'm super short and super skinny and at first i was doing lateral raises with 10 pounds and struggling.
Does it look ridiculous? Yeah, but in time my strength got up and so did all of my other lifts.
Work for yourself and focus and concentrate on your workouts.
Everyone in the gym is just doing their own thing.
I don't care how i look, how sweaty i get or any of that.
It's a gym, not a place to pick up women or get positive attention on how you look.
Infact some muscular dude was complimenting my form on my Arnold press yesterday even though i was doing them with light weights and then started criticising some other guy how he was doing his front raises wrong and he lifted more than me so heavier weights doesn't mean more respect.
Everyone at the gym has been in your shoes so don't feel intimidated man, instead feel inspired and make them gains.

[Black66label]

Everyone gets nervous or feels insecure in every situation. It's a part of you that you must tune out. If you just keep going to the gym and working with weights that you can handle you will get over it. Most body builders dont go to the gym to judge other people, and if someone does judge you for being not "as strong" then they need to get over themselves and grow up. You got my support, keep going!

[trapsbro]

" I don't lift too heavy to avoid injury" lol, wut

[ThatGalZoey]

Personally speaking, I believe that if you want to accomplish anything in life, you gotta have the confidence and determination for it. If I were you, don't mind others. In other words -- act like as if no one's there so you can do your thing. I mean, why are you in the gym in the first place? It's to workout and to be judged by others, right?

Here's a tested and proven technique to shug off the jitters -- just picture out everyone butt naked haha. Seriously, or picture them out in their underwear so you could just laugh it off rather than feel anxious.

[davesterrr]

" I don't lift too heavy to avoid injury" lol, wut

Makes sense if you don't have a spotter.
Try dumbbells if you wanna go till failure, it's a lot safer.

[matt7898]

Just remember that everyone of those guys started in a place similar to you. Most hardcore gym goers are very respectful of people who are there trying hard to get stronger. I have 10 times more respect for a skinny beginner who is working hard to improve than a lot of bigger guys who act like dicks or have no idea what they're doing. I bet most of those "hardcore" guys would even be happy to help you or drop some knowledge on you.

[LoadedLux]

good luck

[Semagt]

dont compare urself with others , do ur thing train hard and let others look at ur hard working

[b7akk0]

The "big dudes" in the gym most likely started off lifting light weight.
Don't let anyone get in the way of your gains, the only way to get big is to lift as much as you can and make solid progress!

[ThailandBrah]

Get over yourself ****g0t. srsly.

The world doesnt revolve around you, although you seem to think it does. Stop being so damn paranoid, I can ensure you right now it does not. Not only is there a 99.9% chance theyre looking at something else and not even talking about you.

Stop being so conceited and self centered. Its one thing when those types of people have a positive self image, but you seem to have a bad one with some delusional paranoia. Man up and just do what you want to do.