Being Happy - Simple Steps (srs) (brahs looking to improve their life GTFIH) (pics)

[Fletchr22]

Brahs I want to aware you on some simple steps to being happier.

Large read incoming, will cliff where possible though its best to read it being that you probably have the time, because you are using it to be on the misc.

As we all know there is a lot of negativity on the Misc. that tends to skew our depiction of reality, especially the more impressionable users.

Here are a few things you can do everyday, no matter what your situation, income, job, age, sex or location to improve your quality of life.

These are lessons I have learned from different sources including former teachers/lecturers, TED Talks, books, co-workers and most importantly my parents. I will reference one video and show you how to apply is to real life.

Money Does Buy Happiness

People think that once they get money that their life improves because they can buy THEMSELVES nice things. It turns out its the opposite.

Watch this:


Video Cliffs:

- People who win lottery end up in debt and have no friends because of gold digging friends
- Study done where money ($5 - $20) is given to people around the world (Canada, Uganda, US, Belgium, Melbourne etc.)
- People split into two groups, Group 'A' and 'B'
- 'A' Spends money on self, 'B' spends money on others (not sharing with themselves)
- People are surveyed the day after with a happiness scale and what they bought
- 'B' were happier every time time, bought things for sick relatives, coffees for friends or gave money to needy people
- Giving > Keeping


Ignore the last part about donating to charity as their is a more profound 'real life' application for this message.

The secret to money buying you happiness is simple. Spend SOME of the money on others, not ALL on yourself.

You don't have to have a lot of money, I'm talking $4 at the most can buy you happiness. Try this out today:

Take $4 you would normally spend on something for yourself and instead, call up a friend, a sibling, one of your parents, your partner, a co-worker and sit down and buy them a coffee/drink/protein shake/be creative.

I guarantee this will be more fulfilling than almost everything you do on a day to day basis.

Inb4 'this is new'. 99% of people you know personally in your life do not understand the concept, this may even be you. It used to be how I thought.

It doesn't even have to be money that you give.

Its the donation of a few seconds or minutes from your life, to help someone achieve something in theirs.

Examples:

- Helping a grandmother who is minding her grandson, shopping at the grocery store you are shopping in, because the child dropped their baby-bottle under one of the shelves and she can't reach it. Sure, one of the workers at the store could do it, but so can you.
- Assist a tourist carry their giant suitcase down the train stairs and giving them directions to the right platform for their change-over train.
- Help a stranger carrying their 6 coffees by holding a door for them.

It WILL make you feel better, even if they don't appreciate it.

I guarantee this will be more fulfilling than almost everything you do on a day to day basis.

Inb4 'this is new'. 99% of people you know personally in your life do not understand the concept, this may even be you. It used to be how I thought.

Cliffs:
- Spending money on others makes you happier
- Other resources you can spare are just as valuable as money and can be given just as easily
- Give to be happy, expect nothing in return
- ???
- Profit



The Bigger Picture

I learned the real world application of this from buying coffee.

Women + Coffee picture for your time so far:


I buy coffee for my co-workers most mornings and I never accept re-payment for it. Even co-workers who aren't in my department, not because I want them to work harder for me (I'm not their boss). Co-workers always ask me how I can be so happy about spending my money on coffee for other people almost everyday. I answer:

"Buying the coffee is what makes me happy."

I go on to explain that the coffee is not just a coffee to me, its part of a process, a bigger picture. At this point that no one really questions it any further and I drink my coffee whilst lurking the misc. (not srs) (maybe srs) (dependant-on-workload-srs)


I had a new sales manager join work late last year, and he was the first person to investigate further into what this 'bigger picture' is, I proceeded to explode his mind.

I had worked on this theory in my head, even talking aloud to myself...

(yeah, I talk to myself to develop thoughts further)


Though this was the first time I explained it to someone outside of my family.

When I buy someone a coffee, I cannot explain how the entire process of making a coffee works, he laughed at first and was like:
(he was thinking I must be 'touched' if I don't know how coffee works "Its hot water through beans" etc.)

I continued to ask a number of questions, asking him "how is a take-away coffee cup made?", he had very little idea (and what he did know was wrong). Then I asked him "How is a coffee machine made? Again no idea. "Where are the parts of a coffee machine made?" No idea. "What are they made of?" No idea, metal?. "Where is the processing plant that makes the metal for those parts and how many people does it employ to make them?" he gave up at this point.

Every time I buy a coffee, I am part of a team of people from across the world, from the people who mine minerals to make the metal, to the people who process those minerals into workable materials, to the people who make those materials into coffee parts, to the people who put those parts together, to the salesman that sells the machine made from those parts, to the barrista that taught the cafe workers to make the coffee, that is now in my coffee tray. And don't get me started on how that coffee tray and cup are made.

"As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others." - Bill Gates

The point in this is that everything you do is part of something bigger and you are the enabler of this process, your simple action of buying a coffee/smiling at a passer-by in the gym/repping the OP of this post/helping the pregnant woman get her pram off the train, you are empowering others, making you more powerful and you are happier for it.


Cliffs:
- Things you do day to day are part of a larger process
- Buying coffee = someone making coffee machine = someone making metal for machine parts = someone mining materials to make metal = everyone wins
- Your every day actions empower others
- Empowering others makes you more 'powerful'
- Being 'powerful' makes you happy
- "As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others." - Bill Gates
- Lead and be happy, make those around you powerful, everyone around you is happy


I have others steps I take everyday that contribute to me being an overall happier person though this post is getting a bit long and I'm expecting a lot of 'LOLDIDNTREAD.gif'.

[Fletchr22]

Smiling

If someone told you there was a drug that could increase your mood and they would give it to you for free you'd think they were fraudin', until you realise that drug is endorphins and you can create them by smiling (and lifting).

You hear this over and over again that smiling is a gateway to happiness, this is obvious because that's what you do when you are happy.

[quote]What I'm talking about it smiling when it is considered 'awkward'. [quote]

The next time you are in public have a look around at peoples faces, notice that the majority looks either sad, angry or soulless?





This is seen across culture as well (not everywhere)



This would generally deter anyone from smiling amongst a public group on any given day and also stops strangers from smiling at each other when they randomly catch eye contact on public transport.

This is breakthrough and never before suggest (not srs), next time that happens, [SMILE.

You will find it awkward to do so and likely even inappropriate because its embedded in most people to go with the norm, like in high school, where you can be considered an outcast for having an alternate opinion. When in real life, if you smile, other people smile. When you go against the norm (to a degree) you get noticed and appreciated.

For your time etc.


Try it in the gym when you walk past people and they are looking at you. Elderly people are a great way to practice this as they love younger people who actually acknowledge them. Also inb4 "some people will call me gay/homo/creepy if you smile at them and don't know them". Some people will also call you weird because you prefer to eat healthy instead of eating fast-food, does that stop you from reaching your goals? No, you keep going and disregard those who don't understand what you are trying to achieve, in this case happiness.

I'd prefer to have a few people weirded out by me than people seeing me like:



Cliffs:
- Smiling makes you happier (no secret)
- People notice people who smile in public because everyone looks miserable 90% of their day
- Smiling in public feels awkward at first
- If you catch eye-contact with a stranger, smile to make it less awkward, they will probably smile back, then break eye contact

[Brick333]

C-c-c-combobreaker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Fletchr22]

The List

This is something I've developed from 'Shelf-esteem' aka Help Yourself Books like The Secret/The Power, Think and Grow Rich, Our Iceberg is Melting, 4 Hour Work Week as well as influences from mentor CEO's/Entrepreneurs that I speak with every few months to keep myself in check. I'll talk more about this and the power of your Success Environment later.

You will be familiar with sayings around success and happiness like:

'Set your Goals'
'Dream Big'
'Make Your Own Path'

These sayings have the direct equivalent of someone asking a body-builder how to get a physique like them and the BB replying with "Lift Weights".

People have beaten it into me since I was ~14 that you need goals in order to become successful and I never understood it, which is the reason that I lifted since 2009 and didn't make ANY progress until late 2010 (strong join date correlation).

It is rare that anyone explains what the goals help you avoid. I will show you one (of MANY) things having a goal will help you avoid, and this is one of the largest obstacles we fact in modern western-industrial society.



The man above is a psychologist name Barry Schwartz who has written heavily on what is definately one of the larget "first world problems" that exist and a problem that almost all of us on the misc are faced with.

Having too many choices. (srs)

You can look up his work on the 'Paradox of Choice' or watch this 22 minute video:



Cliffs:

- People in the 'post-baby-boomer' generation have too many choices in life
- brb 500+ possible university degrees now available to study
- brb 70+ jeans manufacturers etc.
- brb can succeed without finishing high-school
- brb 300+ trades available
- brb most professions cross-pollinate/cross-reference so you can switch jobs easily
- Because of this we fail to make any choices
- 30 years ago people had limited choice (get married young, have kids, pay mortgage, 9-5 job)
- We get depressed/angry/lost because we cant make choices and blame ourselves
- Largest NEW contributor of clinical depression in western-industrial society (srs)


Basically life isn't just giving people lemons any more, it can throw oranges, capsicum, cats, dogs and coffee beans at us - and that doesn't make good lemonade...

A way around this is to construct a List of what you want to achieve in life.

Whether you want to be in 20 years, what the house you live in smells like, what the floors of your kitchen look like, what country are you living in, how many kids do you have/do you have kids/are you married/are you a single bachelor slaying the local talent etc.


Write this stuff down, say it to yourself and imagine everything you are writing as you write it and stick it on a wall in your room, read it when you wake up, read it when you are going to bed, read it drunk, read it whilst mirin' your aesthetics in the mirror after arms day. (inb4 jakes on you I split bi's and tri's)


This list applies to:
- The physique you want to achieve by next summer



- Your dream '10/10' or wouldwife/10

(Not Posting pic since misc standards are too high for google to handle)

- The car you turn up with to the business you own to meet the new employee your HR department just hired.



My Example:

I wrote down a list of my ideal partner, when I started writing it I thought it would maybe be a 1 page list. It ended up being 5, double side, A4 pages.

Detailing everything about her that I wanted in a woman, not wanting to make the mistake I had once made of entering a relationship with a girl and realising 3 years later that her qualities were not what I wanted in a life-partner, nor what she wanted in me.

The list covered everything from her physical appearance (had to be almost the same height as me in heels, unique coloured/capturing eyes etc.) to her personality (funnier than anyone I know besides me, pro-active, non-political, non-religious etc.). What this did for me was allow me to sort out any woman I met if they didn't check off the list, or if they veered from the list after a few dates.

As with the above posts, this worked for me and I'm not saying this is universal, some personality types wont cater to this, but it sure as hell worked for me.

Cliffs:

- Write/type down your goals for life on paper/computer
- Can cover women, job, hobbies, lifting, eating
- Read the goals as often as possible (once a day if possible, ie. when you wake up)
- Helps avoid pitfalls like 'The Paradox of Choice' above
- Will give you vision to seek out the positive choice towards achieving your goal
- Be happier
- Worked for me, doesn't have to work for you


Obligatory 'for your time':

[skateman]

money buys booze which equals happiness.

[Fletchr22]

The Success Environment

Don't let people, who aren't where you want to be, tell you why you can't get there.

If you read one thing in this post that will stick with you, its that.

Everyone has people around them that they interact with on a daily basis. This point is saying that you should get rid of your friends, its saying that you should take pointers from your friend, who 'doesn't even lift', on building your chest.



Do you think Arnold got to where he was because he asked his mother, who wanted him committed to an asylum because she believed he was homosexual (being that he had pictures of ripped men all over his room), how to become a physique god? No, he sought the best in the world, he admired the best builders at the time (Reg Park etc.).

The same applies to taking advice from your friend on your business idea when they say something like "you need at least 10 years experience working before you run your own business" or "you can't do 'X' because of 'Y'" when your friend has not done these things him/herself.

Once you have a goal set out for something and you find yourself in a position where you need to know the next step, go find someone who has already taken those steps and succeeded.

This very advice could be applied to me. If you came to me wanting advice on how to climb rock faces, my only advice would be to go find someone who does it professionally. (and please, stay safe)

Surround yourself with people who have succeeded and understand the outcome you want to achieve in life.
This could mean that you surround yourself with people who don't do out drinking every weekend because you want to get aesthetic. It could be that you want to run your own business at 22, so you surround yourself with CEO's and board members of companies who do this for a living, learn from them, ask them what they would do in your situation.



For anyone who doesnt know the relationship between these two men, Cliffs:

- CEO of ********, Mark Zuckerberg, becomes a multimillion dollar (now billion dollar) business owner in less than a year.
- Zuckerberg:

- Zuckerberg approaches Steve Jobs, asking him how to create a team with 'culture' and how to lead that team.
- Steve teaches Mark, becomes his mentor
- Mark turns million dollar business into billion dollar giant. (there were many other decisions involved, though Mark credits Steve heavily)

Cliffs:
- Surround yourself with people who believe you have on your list
- Don't take advice from people who haven't done what you want to do (contextual, best to read)
- Learn from people you aspire to be like
- Success Environments help you win at life

Once again, this is my experience.

[Swimfag]

Listening to a really good progressive house mix while playing poker and having a glass of whiskey makes me happy.

It's all subjective, you can't really apply those things to EVERYONE, but I admire the time you put into this. You seem to have your life on the right track.

Edit: OP, honestly answer: are you truly 100% happy with your life? I may be incredibly wrong but it does come off that deep down you're just trying to convince yourself that you're happy.

[DrCoctopus]

in, thanks for that... easy to read and feel good after, but hard to keep living by it daily though...

[Fletchr22]

Future-Vision



I spoke about this in previous updates.

Future vision was a concept introduced to me by a previous Sales Vice President and its one that stuck with me.

This is a concept that is extremely contextual but can be applied retrospectively.

The context that it was brought up to me in was regarding relationships as I had recently started dating my partner and we were discussing previous relationships. He had been divorced twice, so he had some experience on 'pot-holes' to avoid in relationships.

We discussed a few big issues that rock the foundations of relationships, not just marriages, this extended to friendships and business partnerships. He promised that if I could capture this concept and understand it. I would understand a key concept to success in all relationships...

His advice was to have what he called 'future-vision' and I never changed the name because well, it makes sense.

Here is how it works. When you are in a relationship, you get to a point where you are comfortable and every thing is 'cruising', there is nothing wrong with being comfortable, though what this generally indicates is that you have reached a phase in the relationship that you had hoped to, though you hadn't planned what to do after that, so you and the other person in this relationship 'settle'.

I questioned immediately "I don't see the issue with settling, whats wrong with being comfortable?". This was a game changer for me, as he answered

"what is so comfortable about being comfortable?"

I started answering in a multitude of ways and realized I was bargaining with myself, trying to convince myself on how being 'comfortable' works. I ended up stumbling over the answer and it came out something like "Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?", though I cant really remember the exact words.

For your time (yep, a space bikini model):


His point was that being comfortable in any relationship, whether it be business, friends or love is not so comfortable if you don't know where it is going, nor if there is anything more than what you have.

If a company sells metal parts from their metallurgy industrial plant to a coffee machine part manufacture (strong content relationship) for 3 years and decided that because they have secured 3 years of business that they can leave the relationship it its current 'maintenance' and contacts them a few times a year to renew contracts and 'catch-up', what happens? A new metal wholesaler comes along and sells into them with a better offer and they move to it because they haven't heard anything 'real' from the original company about what they are doing in the future, whilst the 'new' company is proposing "expansion plans into Asia pacific to reduce delivery times etc."



Personally I would find the company who has expressed their plans to be more prospective. To simplify how this works on a relationship level:

Never stop imagining your life without the people around you, your partner, your best friends, your family.

Never fail to see yourself on your next holiday (that you earn the money for with the success and job you wrote down on your list) with the people you love and express to them that you want to take them on that holiday in 2 years time in New York (strong relevance to OP's plans).

Express what kind of family you want with your partner, tell them about your list, and where you want to be with them in a month, the date you want to go on next Saturday, the house you live in 5 years from now and how many kids you want to have (if any). The benefti of expressing your future-vision with people is that they will help work towards that vision, as they will share the passion that you fueld your vision with.

Cliffs:
- Being comfortable is not always so 'comfortable'
- People like knowing what the future holds for them in relationships
- Imagine yourself with the people you want to be with
- Express this with them
- They will share your vision and will work towards achieving it


Note: Will clean this up later as I am working remotely ATM.

[povertybrah]

I dont blow money on coffee for my ******* co-workers or dump money into pointless charities (srs, my $10 donation will only go to fancy coffee for *******s working there)....instead I put it towards getting out of ALL debt, which will make me happy


you have good intentions but dropping money on "lattes" is no way to be happy, but personal financial freedom is (which for ME is happiness, then I can give money away to appropriate charities)

[Robination]

That's pretty good...

[Fletchr22]

in, thanks for that... easy to read and feel good after, but hard to keep living by it daily though...

Becomes a habbit after a while.

Its like teaching yourself to smile in public when everyone around you looks angry or neutral all the time, at first you feel like a fool and extremely awkward, then you see someone randomly smile because they see you smiling.

Feelsgoodman.jpg.

[Fletchr22]

I dont blow money on coffee for my ******* co-workers or dump money into pointless charities (srs, my $10 donation will only go to fancy coffee for *******s working there)....instead I put it towards getting out of ALL debt, which will make me happy


you have good intentions but dropping money on "lattes" is no way to be happy, but personal financial freedom is (which for ME is happiness, then I can give money away to appropriate charities)

Real talk.

The coffee is more a metaphor.

While you are on your way to financial freedom, keeping yourself happy with small actions might help. Might.

[BTC1556]

Good read OP. Would you argue that doing a selfless act would still give you happiness if it were completely anonymous? Like you somehow found a struggling miscer's address and sent him a couple $ in the mail. Provided the miscer who received it never made a thread about it to give you that sense of gratitude.

[Fletchr22]

Good read OP. Would you argue that doing a selfless act would still give you happiness if it were completely anonymous? Like you somehow found a struggling miscer's address and sent him a couple $ in the mail. Provided the miscer who received it never made a thread about it to give you that sense of gratitude.

Does the thought of doing that give you a feeling in your chest/strange sense of purpose?

For me it does, though its all about context. Sending a large sum of money anonymously when you can't really afford it might now help, though slipping them a $10 will.

Its different for everyone.

[povertybrah]

Real talk.

The coffee is more a metaphor.

While you are on your way to financial freedom, keeping yourself happy with small actions might help. Might.

nope, it all goes to debt.......thats what makes me happy...paying down ******* student loans makes me happier than a $5 coffee for some queer that makes more than I do


**** everyone else, take care of yourself and your friends/family

[HGM1989]

if you're happy and you know it clap your hands.

[chillz]

Been aware of this my whole life really. Not saying it's not an obvious thing or anything just it is part of what I'm like. Many people are the complete opposite though.

Nothing feels better or is more satisfying than helping other people whether it be remembering a friends exam and wishing them good luck or letting someone get on the bus before you despite being in front in the queue.

It's very simple but the more people you do this to the more people that recognise you as the helpful friendly person = more happiness and greater friendship circles.

It may sound ridiculous but it's true. Dozens of times I've met people that I didn't know were mutual friends at parties or other events that have remembered me doing something very small such as the above and started a conversation with me because they thought I must be a nice human.

[Fletchr22]

nope, it all goes to debt.......thats what makes me happy...paying down ******* student loans makes me happier than a $5 coffee for some queer that makes more than I do


**** everyone else, take care of yourself and your friends/family

You are working to get yourself into a happier lifestyle so I respect that. As above, its each to his own.

[Fletchr22]

Been aware of this my whole life really. Not saying it's not an obvious thing or anything just it is part of what I'm like. Many people are the complete opposite though.

Nothing feels better or is more satisfying than helping other people whether it be remembering a friends exam and wishing them good luck or letting someone get on the bus before you despite being in front in the queue.

It's very simple but the more people you do this to the more people that recognise you as the helpful friendly person = more happiness and greater friendship circles.

It may sound ridiculous but it's true. Dozens of times I've met people that I didn't know were mutual friends at parties or other events that have remembered me doing something very small such as the above and started a conversation with me because they thought I must be a nice human.

Age: 19

Having this knowledge that early is a huge advantage for you, looks like you are way ahead of me.

I was still a WoW addict with no real future-vision at your age, gjdm.

[TranceBrah92]

Not sure about your broscience assumptions but helping others does make us happier, no doubt.

[soliduparrow]

do you really buy coffee everyday for them?

[Fletchr22]

Not sure about your broscience assumptions but helping others does make us happier, no doubt.

Tried to leave broscience out, just talking from personal experience, no hard-facts etc.

[Fletchr22]

do you really buy coffee everyday for them?

I travel for work so not always in the office, so not everday.
Different people each day but usually I'll buy 3-5 coffee's depending on who is around at the time.

[soliduparrow]

thinking about you buying so much coffee is making me the opposite of happy.

[Fletchr22]

thinking about you buying so much coffee is making me the opposite of happy.

If I bought you a coffee would it make you happier?

[nodnarb481]

Its pretty true. I like to help random strangers out whenever I notice an opportunity and it really does make me feel better even if only for a couple hours.

Also mind=blown because I talk to my self aloud sometime to help develop thoughts further as well. ha

[Fletchr22]

Its pretty true. I like to help random strangers out whenever I notice an opportunity and it really does make me feel better even if only for a couple hours.

Also mind=blown because I talk to my self aloud sometime to help develop thoughts further as well. ha

It works. Especially if you are driving somewhere by yourself, put headphones in and people just think you are talking to someone on the phone with hands-free.

[StevenBG]

[Fletchr22]

Me in 40 years?