Dating my employee

[DTrulez616]

I run my own supplement store in a busy mall. My dilemma is this, I'm very interested in a relationship with this girl I hired a little over a month ago.

It all started like this, girl comes into my store to buy something. I ring her out and then we proceed to have a 40 minute conversation about random stuff. Conversation went well and she didn't seem to really want to leave. I was awe struck by how much we had in common.

I schedule 3 interviews the next day from applications I had gotten a week ago. One of them just happened to be her. She was the best of the three so I hired her.

I've been training her for the past month but we always end up trailing off into different conversations. The more we talk, the more I find we have in common. It's actually very freaky and I told her that and she agreed. It's like Everytime one of us shares a life experience with one another her or I have been through the same exact thing. I almost feel like I've found the female version of me.

I have a feeling that she likes me. For example she listens and follows every piece of advice I give her. One example is she suffers from a minor eating disorder and was doing way too much cardio. I've been through the same thing, I've given her my opinions on what she's doing and she making strides to better herself and has cut way down on cardio. She's told me there's very few people she will listen to when it comes to training and nutrition advice but I'm one of them because I say everything with confidence.

We've also had conversations on our ideal relationship, she's had a discussion with me about marriage and how she couldn't see herself with a different last name, and it seems like she hints at wanting to do things with me. I've offered on two separate occasions but she's had other plans. This could just be because she's nervous about me being her boss.

So I need advice here. I want to just put it out there that I'm interested in her but my fear is that if she actually doesn't like me that it would make things awkward in the workplace. I'm not sure how I should handle this situation. It's just eating me up because it's one of those "what if" situations. She works with me tomorrow and I was gonna ask her out tomorrow but not sure how to approach the situation.

Cliffs:
-I hired a new girl
-We have pretty much everything in common and she seems to like me
-I want to go in direct and let her know I'm interested in her.
-I don't want things to get awkward if she happens to not like me.

[FitnessCPA]

I have a series of questions.

Is there a company policy about dating employees?
Is this your career?
Are you in school?
How devastated would you be if you lost your job?

All I know is if I was 22 and single and found a girl I'm interested in, I'm going for it unless there's a compelling reason not to. Risk of job loss might be a compelling reason not to. But if this is just a college job or something you don't plan on doing forever, then maybe that's not such a big deal.

If you don't go for it, you may be wondering for a long time what could have been.

Women don't wait around. If she's interested and you don't ask her out soon, she's going to move on and assume you're not interested.

[illiniStrive]

Kinda sketchy imo. It'd be one thing if you were co-workers, but you being her boss enters into iffy territory. As you said, you being her boss gives the relationship a different dynamic. Especially within a work environment you may not be able to differentiate attraction from employee attentiveness. An employee is going to want to impress and have a good working relationship with their boss regardless. I can say I've definitely feigned interest in one topic or another just to win some brownie points.

If she genuinely seems interested, ask her out one last time (and make it clear that you're asking her out with romantic intention, not just as buddies). If she declines a third time, then she's probably just not that into you. I can honestly say that nothing short of a wedding or funeral is going to stop me from making plans with a guy I like.

But there's plenty of fish in the sea, after all. So if this doesn't work out it's not the end of the world.

(two platitudes in a row, I'm on a roll)

[PhiSig2298]

Inb4 sexual harassment lawsuit


Edit: the nutmisc is probably the last place to ask for relationship advice. Only 2-3 members happily married and a handful of others in a functional relationship.

[desslok]

TheRockUsingImaginationSinceNoPics.jpg

[KayPS]

Inb4 sexual harassment lawsuit


Edit: the nutmisc is probably the last place to ask for relationship advice. Only 2-3 members happily married and a handful of others in a functional relationship.

This.

You should ask the big misc. Then do the opposite.

[necon76]

[djansen]

If you have other employees I could see this throwing a kink in the work environment. That's tough man, other than the boss issue it sounds like an awesome scenario and no reason not to go for it. If you do make the decision to ask her out and it goes well I would just keep it between you 2 and not flaunt it if you know what I mean.

[psychodiver9]

You are opening yourself up to a lawsuit and poor references as a supervisor. Is she worth your future and reputation?

[snorkelman]

Inb4 sexual harassment lawsuit

^^ That. Seriously, as her supervisor, she would be able to impute liability to the company, and you yourself can be named as a defendant (and be liable for attorneys fees to defend a lawsuit, and can be held liable yourself for a wide range of damages). If you don't own the company, you will most likely get fired if she so much as hints that she is unhappy about you pursuing her.

I would not pursue this at all until one of you no longer works for the company.

[Kirra]

Bang first, think later.

Thank me later.

[FresshStart]

Get down n dirty brah. But be careful of that sexual harassment case.

[ven33]

brb reinstalling Windows7 because no pics are showing up.

[FresshStart]

brb reinstalling Windows7 because no pics are showing up.

I'm posting off a motorolla razor I had to borrow from my neighbour as my comp is at the repair store since the pics weren't loading.

[gymjunki3]

update her development plan.

1st objective

* polish the managers c0ck


how do you think necon76 gets a bonus every year?

[LordMarcus6]

You got three real choices here...

1 - Screw it, drop the subject, and act like nothing happened.

2 - Invite her to hang/do something outside of the workplace (as friends) and see what happens.

3 - My personal favorite...man up, be honest with her (not in a creepy way), and see what she says.

[DTrulez616]

I have a series of questions.

Is there a company policy about dating employees?
Is this your career?
Are you in school?
How devastated would you be if you lost your job?

All I know is if I was 22 and single and found a girl I'm interested in, I'm going for it unless there's a compelling reason not to. Risk of job loss might be a compelling reason not to. But if this is just a college job or something you don't plan on doing forever, then maybe that's not such a big deal.

If you don't go for it, you may be wondering for a long time what could have been.

Women don't wait around. If she's interested and you don't ask her out soon, she's going to move on and assume you're not interested.

Theres nothing in company policy that says I cant. This is not a career, Im running this store while in school. I would devastated at first over losing my job but I feel it would open up other opportunities for me. Im not saying I would be happy about losing my job, but theres other things I would want to do that I cant do because my job and school take up so much time.

The biggest thing for me thats making me depressed is what you said above, what if? What could have happened with the girl if I just went for it and didnt think about the consequences. And I want to do it sooner than later if I do decide to go through with it.

Inb4 sexual harassment lawsuit


Edit: the nutmisc is probably the last place to ask for relationship advice. Only 2-3 members happily married and a handful of others in a functional relationship.

This.

You should ask the big misc. Then do the opposite.

I trust this sub forum a lot more than any other one, especially the big misc.

If you have other employees I could see this throwing a kink in the work environment. That's tough man, other than the boss issue it sounds like an awesome scenario and no reason not to go for it. If you do make the decision to ask her out and it goes well I would just keep it between you 2 and not flaunt it if you know what I mean.

My one employee knows about it but thats because we're really good friends in real life. I wouldnt flaunt it at all because im not letting anyone else on to me dating an employee.

You got three real choices here...

1 - Screw it, drop the subject, and act like nothing happened.

2 - Invite her to hang/do something outside of the workplace (as friends) and see what happens.

3 - My personal favorite...man up, be honest with her (not in a creepy way), and see what she says.

Option number 3 does seem like that best option right now.

[illiniStrive]

Well, the job isn't going to open up as many opportunities as you think if you get dismissed for taking sexual advantage of your position...

It sounds like you've already asked her out twice and she declined. Like I said before, nothing barring a serious occasion that she absolutely cannot miss is going to stop a girl from making plans with a guy she's interested in. Sort of like asking a guy to come up for 'coffee' when he has an 'early meeting the next day'; meeting or no meeting, he's coming up if he's into someone. Works the same way for us.

Maybe ask her out again, but tbh you should just move on.

[WonderPug]

You've made two overtures and she has declined twice, without even suggesting an alternative time let alone making any overtures herself.

Even sans the (significant) complication of workplace courting, it's time to move on.

[Gxp23]

In all honesty, she probably likes you, but dating her boss could be intimidating, and awkward, maybe you should drop it before she feels harassed.

[ven33]

So here's the deal:

1. Reinstalled Windows7...still no pics.
2. Ran MalwareBytes....still no pics.
3. Reinstalled Java with the newest SDK....still no pics.
4. Went to Best Buy, purchased a new graphics card, installed in computer, updated drivers.....still no pics.
5. Uninstalled Windows7, installed Windows 98, installed Netscape Navigator...still no pics.

Any help would be appreciated.

[Gxp23]

2:30 mark op, its your only real shot with her.

[Ago]

I have a feeling that she likes me. For example she listens and follows every piece of advice I give her. One example is she suffers from a minor eating disorder and was doing way too much cardio. I've been through the same thing, I've given her my opinions on what she's doing and she making strides to better herself and has cut way down on cardio. She's told me there's very few people she will listen to when it comes to training and nutrition advice but I'm one of them because I say everything with confidence.

If you were my boss,id listen as well, or at least pretend to..... no homo.

edit: you know saying dont **** where you eat? Well... lets check urban dictionary:

[Gxp23]

Dont chit on her lunch op ^

[naturalguy]

End well, this will not

[Lvisaa2]

Maybe ask her out again, but tbh you should just move on.

This. Give it time and maybe do it in a couple months if you still feel like there is an opportunity, but if she has turned you down twice and not offered a replacement then it is time to move on.

Also, this may be a personal question, but how much experience do you have with females? I think, especially if less experienced, it is easy to misinterpret the friendly/attentive nature of an employee/boss relationship as more than that.

[midcoastking33]

balls deep

[MITCHAPAL00ZA]

what did you ask her to do previously? do you guys text/talk outside of work?

[StephSkywalker]

I've dated a woman I worked with, it's more trouble than it's worth.. Don't do it

[Andrew_S]