TurdMuffin's HOW TO COOK HEALTHY AND TASTY THREAD (pics)(recipes)

[TurdMuffin]

brb taking cooking advice from a dude named TurdMuffin

You're more than welcome to post your own recipes, especially if they're better than mine!!

[TurdMuffin]

Do people still actually do this?

You don't have to but its a pretty easy way to knock out a few hundred calories from the dish and if it's seasoned well you won't miss it. If you're using something like 90/10 or better you dont NEED to, but if you're using like poverty 80/20 or 70/30 I would.

[aWellDressedApe]

subscribed

[TurdMuffin]

subscribed

Thanks and welcome! Feel free to ask any questions and post your own recipes!

[RedBOLT99]

Subed up in this piece..

[nferrier]

You're more than welcome to post your own recipes, especially if they're better than mine!!

lol no hate on your recipes brah, I just found it ironic.

[TurdMuffin]

Thanks and welcome! Feel free to ask any questions and post your own recipes!

I was serious! post up what you got! Having too many good recipes is impossibru!

Subed up in this piece..

ty men

[TurdMuffin]

Decided to finish up the rest of the leftover chili and make some Cincinnati style chili!

Cincinnati Style Chili
Ingredients
-Spaghetti
-Chili
-Onions
-Cheddar Cheese
-Hot sauce

1) Combine ingredients in the order listed.




There's a restaurant here in Ohio that serves this called Skyline Chili. They have a '3 way'- spaghetti, chili, cheese, 4 way- which is a 3 way plus onions OR beans and a 5 way which is a 3 way plus onion AND beans, so this is essentially a 5 way. Might seem weight but it's REALLY good.

[TurdMuffin]

Bacon Chipotle Chicken Burgers
Ingredients
-Fresh Chicken Breast
-Bacon (I used 2 splices per breast but you could use more/less)
-Dried Chili Pepper- my local grocery store has about a dozen different kinds, any kind will work
- Salt to taste

Here's the chili pepper and chicken



1) Dice the chili and put it in a food processor with the bacon and chicken. I loaded it up here and it ended up being too much and wouldn't chop right so I had to take about half out.


2) Put it in until it is about the consistency of ground beef. You don't want to just turn it to mush, but if it isn't done enough it won't stick together.


3) Form into patties. Don't make them too thick or they will take forever to cook. Remember, this is chicken so it needs to be cooked all the way through, unlike beef burgers.


4) Grill them. I think I did them about 6-8 minutes per side, but it got messed up because my grill ran out of propane half way thru so I had to hook up the other tank



5) Put whatever cheese/toppings on it you want and enjoy. Bacon cheddar for the win.


Notes: I don't know if you'd NEED to use bacon, but i'm not sure how well the chicken will stay in patties without any fat/binder in them.

[tvampirediaries]

good stuff you got there turd, repped!

[TurdMuffin]

Kebabs/Kabobs
Ingredients
-Chicken Breast (I used one pack)
-Steak (I used 1 flank steak)
-Veggies
-Potatoes


1) Cut everything into roughly 1" chucks and sock in marinade. I did everything but the sweet potatoes in italian dressing.
2)) Put everything on skewers. I think flat, metal skewers are the best because the don't burn/catch on fire.

3) I didnt have enough room for everything on the grill so I cooked the potatoes first, then put them on a pan in the oven at 200 to keep them warm.
4) Next I cooked the rest. I don't put everything on at once though; the longer it takes to cook the earlier I put it on. I put the mushrooms on first, then chicken and onion, then steak and peppers

5) Enjoy- Here's everything on the table w/ some pumpkin beer for me and a woodchuck cider for the lady friend.



We had leftovers, so instead of nuking them, i made a foil boat and warmed them up on the grill. tasted almost just as fresh as when we originally cooked them.

[TurdMuffin]

Bacon Nachos
Ingredients:
-Tortilla chips
-Bacon
-Cheddar Cheese
-Bacon Cheddar Cheese

1) Arrange tortilla chips in mostly a single layer on plate.
2) Put on cheese and other toppings. You could use anything... taco sauce, hot sauce, onions, jalepenos, olives, bell peppers, etc.


3) Cook in microwave for :45-1min
4) Enjoy

[TurdMuffin]

Ghetto Garlic Bread
Ingredients
-Bread
-Butter
-Garlic Salt
-Seasonings (romano or parm, basil, oregano, etc.. These are optional)

1)Get your bread ready. I prefer white bread for this but we didn't have any so I used hot dog buns. Anything will work tho.


2) Butter your bread. This helps it taste good and get nice and brown/tasty.



3) Put on your garlic salt and seasonings. I used romano and oregano.


4) Put it in the toaster and enjoy.

[tmartin89]

In. Thanks OP, always looking for new things to cook!

[TurdMuffin]

Here's a dinner I made for myself and the lady. Morel mushroom soup and flatbreads with beef, blue cheese and balsamic reduction. Too lazy to post recipes tho.

[TurdMuffin]

DIY Burritos
Ingredients
-Tortilla shells
-Meat- I shredded some chicken but beef will work too
-Condiments- lettuce, onion, salsa, cheese, jalepenos, whatver

1) Combine ingredients in the desired proportions on tortillas
2) Enjoy

[TurdMuffin]

Spent the weekend at my friends house and I cooked up some food for us all. Roast beef with onions, garlic and herb mashed taters, gravy and spicy sauteed corn which was really good so I'll post that recip



Spicy Sauteed Corn
Ingredients:
-2 cans of corn (or 1)
-some kind of oil
-Spices- I used this "Emeril's BAM it up salad seasoning" that he had, plus ground chipotle pepper and crushed red pepper

1) Heat up the oil in your pan
2) dump in corn
3) sautee for a few minutes
4) put in spices and stir
5) satuee a couple more minutes to blend the flavors

[MrHomestar]

You still planning on making a youtube channel?

[TurdMuffin]

You still planning on making a youtube channel?

I'm throwing it around still. I bought like a cheap ass version of a go-pro but it pretty much sucks so idk what exactly i'm going to be doing

[TurdMuffin]

I made those beef, blue cheese and balsamic reduction flatbreads again but I took pics of the process this time

Beef, Blue Cheese and Balsamic Reduction Flatbread
Ingredients
-Roast beef
-Blue cheese
-Flatbread or pita
-Balsamic Vineger

1) Put balsamic vinegar in a small saucepan and bring to a light boil. It needs to boil down until its thick and syrupy so you need to start with 2-3 times more than you want at the end. I used about half a bottle. Also preheat your oven to 350*
2) While that is boiling assemble the flatbreads.


I used Roquefort but any blue cheese will work

3) Bake the flatbreads until the balsamic reduction is finished which should be about 15min


4) Drizzle balsamic reduction with a spoon.


5) Enjoy and wash down with a tasty beverage.

[namechange2]

holy fuk, mirin so hard

[namechange2]

bump for GOAT thread

[TurdMuffin]

bump for GOAT thread

Thanks brah. Im about to upload a couple recipes today! ive been so busy with stuff I havent had time to cook anything really worth posting.


Easy Lo-mein
Ingredients
-Spaghetti
-Oil (olive, vegetable, whatever works)
-Minced Garlic
-Veggies (i used onion, mushroom and green onion)
-Soy Sauce
-You could also throw some chicken, pork or beef in too but I didnt

1) Chop up your veggies


2) Saute veggies just until they start to soften up


3) Put spaghetti in and saute it until its hot and starts to harden a bit

4) Pour in soy sauce and continue to saute until the soy sauce is mostly evaporated



5) Enjoy

[TurdMuffin]

Yellow Pepper Pickled Eggs
Boiled eggs can be kind of monotonous after a while so I do this to change things up.

Ingredients
-Boiled Eggs
-Yellow peppers


1) Put boiled eggs in a jar with yellow peppers


2) Let sit at least overnight. It should look like this after a bit.


3) Enjoy

[TurdMuffin]

Chicken Parmesan

Ingredients
-Flour
-Eggs
-bread crumbs
-Chicken Breasts
-Parmesan cheese
-Oil
-Marinara sauce
-Mozzarella


1) Set up your standard breading procedure. Flour, beaten eggs, Breadcrumbs (I mixed parmesan and breadcrumbs together).


2) Coat chicken in flour, then dip in egg wash, then coat in bread crumbs, then set in a dish.
*** Protip- use 1 hand to put the chicken into the flour and then into the egg (dry hand) and 1 hand to take it out of the egg, coat in breadcrumb and set to the side (wet hand)... it makes it way easier

3) Heat oil in a pan. You are pan frying here, not sauteeing so yuou want your oil to be at leas .5" deep.

4) Fry until golden brown on each side. While this is happening warm your marinara.


5) Depending on how many you make or how thick they are, you may have to put them in the oven for a bit to either finish cooking them or keep them warm while you cook more.

6) Spread some marinara on each breast and then put mozzarella on top. Broil for just a minute or two, or until the cheese is melted.


7) Serve with (or more traditionally on) spaghetti and any sides. I used roasted brussel sprouts with reduced balsamic vinegar which is one of my staple side dishes


8) Enjoy

[siggi04]

The other day I had the thought of What if I made Yam Bars to eat after the gym. After googling and finding out it's a possible thing I used this recipe from omgpaleo and made these Double Chocolate Chip Sweet Potato Cookies.

The original recipe is here http://paleomg.com/sweet-potato-prot...-chip-cookies/
But I changed a couple things. I used:

-2 Large Sweet Potatoes
-2 - 3 Tbs Almond Butter
-1 Small Egg
-1 Scoop Chocolate Whey Protein Powder
-1 Tsp Vanilla Extract
-Pinch of Salt
-Enjoy Life mini Chocolate Chips

Put the sweet potatoes in the microwave and cook for 6-8 minutes, while preheating oven to 400 degrees. Mix together all ingredients and egg that had been whisked (wait for the sweet potato to have cooled down before adding chips or they will melt into the batter as I found out). Bake on baking sheet (use a non stick spray or baking parchment) at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes. Wait til they're cooled until you remove or they might come apart on the bottom.

Here's my results:




They're chocolatey and taste like a cookie/cake hybrid. Also maybe use an icecream scooper or spoon when putting the batter onto the sheet so they don't come out unaesthetic like mine lol

[namechange2]

bump for my hitta

[TurdMuffin]

Brothers... I'm back. i haven't misced in a long time but I'm back now. My cooking is on a different level now than it was when i was last posting here... i'm going to start posting recipes again in the same format... name, ingredients, method with pics. I'm going to teach you guys how to layer flavors like never before.

I wish I had pictures of stuff I've made recently but here's the types of things you guys have to look forward to that i have made recently:

-coq au vin (amazingly good chicken braised in red wine)
-REAL asian stir fries (well no wokso you can question my authenticity)
-lemon baked chicken with spaghetti tossed in garlic, herb and lemon infused olive oil
-Spaghetti alla carbonara (the real way with eggs not cream)
-Also i have been on an egg kick lately so look forward to some wicked egg recipes... I'm going to start experimenting with the ways a gooey egg yolk can benefit a dish
-home made breads inlcluding no knead breads
-I'm also experimenting with some vegetarian dishes like tofu and such

I'm also going to be trying to introduce more technique/vocab so that hopefully all us bros can make outstanding food. I'll try to keep it on the healthier side but sometimes you have to make food unhealthy because well.... sometimes amazing tasting food isnt healthy.


It'll be at least a couple days before I post any recipes but stay tuned!

[TurdMuffin]

Chicken Pizziola
Inspiration for this came to me when I wanted some chicken but it was all frozen and I didn't want to thaw it or bake it forever.

Ingredients
-Chicken breast (can be frozen or thawed)
-"Pizza toppings" this dish is meant to mimic pizza flavors so I used Onion, mushrooms, black olives and pepperoni because I like them on pizza
-Oil (olive or vegetable)
-Tomato sauce
-Cheese I used romano but parm and/or mozzarella work too

Method
1. Gather all your ingredients and cut them to the desired sized. This is called Mise En Place (meez en plahss) or mise for short. It means everything in its place as is a concept of having everything ready to go before you start cooking so you don't make any mistakes.
Here are my veggies and pepperoni cut up, but make sure you have your oil, chicken, sauce and cheese ready to go, too.


2. Heat your pan, add your oil and saute your veg. I just did the oniion and mushroom. You want to sweat them until they're soft. You don't want to fully cook them because they are going to be simmering in the sauce.


3. Add in the sauce and your items that don't need cooked. I added in my pepperoni and olives. Heat the sauce until it starts to bubble.**


4. Add in your chicken. Reduce heat. You'll probably need to let is simmer for 20-30 min for frozen or about half that for thawed. The best way to be sure is to us a thermometer. A simmer means bubbles aren't reaching the surface so if you go into the next room and hear it gloop glopping away it's too high. Cooking it in a liquid transfers heat much better than air does when baking.


5. About half way through cooking, flip the chicken over.


6. Plate it. I cut the chicken into slices, put some sauce on the bottom, put the chicken in the center and spooned the sauce around it. Sprinkled the romano on top and had some garlic bread with it.


7. Enjoy!

**Notes:
-I also put some herbs in the pasta saucet hat I didnt list
-If you do multiple chicken breasts just make sure you have enough sauce and pan space.1

[TurdMuffin]

Lemon chicken with garlic, herb and lemon pasta
I apoligize for the lack of method pictures here, I made this a while back.

Ingredients

-Chicken breast
-Lemons (about 1 per breast, but at least 2 for every 3 breasts)
-Pasta
-Olive oil
-2-3 Minced garlic
-Herbs (basil and oregano at a minimum but I think I also used rosemary, thyme and dried parsley)
-Parmesan or romano

Method
This recipe has 3 parts 1)chicken, 2)infused oil, 3)pasta.

1) Cut the lemon into thin slices, just under .25" thick, but not too thin.

2) Make a small bed with half of the lemon slices, put the chicken on the lemon, and put the rest of the lemon except for one piece on top of the chicken. Bake it however long you normall bake chicken breasts.. 20-25 min at 350 or something like that.

3) Infuse your herbs and garlic into the oil. Put 2-3 tbsp oilve oil in a very small cold pan. Normall you put oil into a hot pan but not here. Add in dried herbs, minced garlic and lemon slice you saved (A garlic press comes in handy here). I'd say half a teaspoon or less of each herb will suffice. Now put it on low heat until tiny bubbles form and keep the heat low. Youre not cooking it, and you don't want to burn the garlic. Let this go until everything else is done but check to make sure you don't burn the garlic

4) Make your pasta.

5) When the chicken is done remove it from th oven and cut it into thin, bite sized slizes. You don't have to but it makes eating it easier and if you're serving someone else it makes it look good for the ladyboy from craigslist you're probably serving.

5) Drain your pasta. Don't rinse it. Put it in a bowl. Remove the lemon from the oil and drizzle the oil mixture on the pasta and toss to coat. Serve with chicken on top and garnish with parm or romano and optionally the lemon. I personally like romano more than parm so I almost always use it instead.


6)Enjoy!