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  1. #31
    who loves ya baby latebloomingmom's Avatar
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    my advice would be..when asked what you are doing...
    ummm give as little information as possible
    I have learned that most people really dont want to know..
    jealousy...pea green with it..people that are out of shape like other people who are out of shape
    misery loves company..
    OP..you went against the grain..left the pack so to speak..
    that builds resentment in the remaining members.
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  2. #32
    Registered User broad.stance's Avatar
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    Adopting a false sense of modesty about one’s accomplishments can backfire on some personalities and invite continued criticism. If you normally share what is going on in your life, and use conversational doors opened by friends to ask about theirs, then suddenly becoming quiet on a topic can translate into a lack of confidence in your activities. One of the most ridiculous reasons people have for doing this is not wanting to make those around them feel bad. Really, it is no one’s place to carry guilt over what someone else isn’t doing*, and friends and family may be comfortable with their current level of health. More so, ‘hiding’ one aspect of your life can seem strange to those used to seeing you as a whole person.

    In any case, beebra, it is acceptable and fair to inform your friends many of their comments on your program lack perspective. If it’s what you’d normally do, go ahead and call them out on their BS. Though a short conversation where you state the obvious should be enough. A person who regularly has a can of Dr Pepper and a brownie (or a 26g slice of bread) and calls it a meal lacks perspective on what it is to eat right. Just as someone who doesn’t get in the minimum daily physical activity – whatever the standard is – has no idea of what is overboard when it comes to working out. If the minimum is too much for them, then they cannot say you are obsessed.

    Handle it in the right way and it won’t come off as confrontational, but it will close off opportunities for future criticism. This may also cut the tension because they no longer have to worry about whether or not you’ll take their advice as you’re looking for information over opinions when it comes to fitness. You can also use this time to discuss what is truly bothering each friend about your exercise regimen. It could be as simple as: I miss you.

    This is one approach, and it may not be right for you. But it’s an option.

    Good lifting to you,
    Charles

    *The exception being if you are directly responsible for an injury that prevents another from continuing a fitness plan.**
    **Disregard if you commonly Showgirl people who get in your way.
    Hums the theme to Superman during planks and LYTPs. Now that you've read this, you will too.

    All right boys, now watch how this is done. The key is to put it all in your groin and your back.
    Take your legs totally out of the equation. Lift with your lower back in a jerking, twisting motion.
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  3. #33
    who loves ya baby latebloomingmom's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by broad.stance View Post
    Adopting a false sense of modesty about one’s accomplishments can backfire on some personalities and invite continued criticism. If you normally share what is going on in your life, and use conversational doors opened by friends to ask about theirs, then suddenly becoming quiet on a topic can translate into a lack of confidence in your activities. One of the most ridiculous reasons people have for doing this is not wanting to make those around them feel bad. Really, it is no one’s place to carry guilt over what someone else isn’t doing*, and friends and family may be comfortable with their current level of health. More so, ‘hiding’ one aspect of your life can seem strange to those used to seeing you as a whole person.

    In any case, beebra, it is acceptable and fair to inform your friends many of their comments on your program lack perspective. If it’s what you’d normally do, go ahead and call them out on their BS. Though a short conversation where you state the obvious should be enough. A person who regularly has a can of Dr Pepper and a brownie (or a 26g slice of bread) and calls it a meal lacks perspective on what it is to eat right. Just as someone who doesn’t get in the minimum daily physical activity – whatever the standard is – has no idea of what is overboard when it comes to working out. If the minimum is too much for them, then they cannot say you are obsessed.

    Handle it in the right way and it won’t come off as nasty, but it will close off opportunities for future criticism. This may also cut the tension because they no longer have to worry about whether or not you’ll take their advice as you’re looking for information over opinions when it comes to fitness. You can also use this time to discuss what is truly bothering each friend about your exercise regimen. It could be as simple as: I miss you.

    This is one approach, and it may not be right for you. But it’s an option.

    Good lifting to you,
    Charles

    *The exception being if you are directly responsible for an injury that prevents another from continuing a fitness plan.**
    **Disregard if you commonly Showgirl people who get in your way.
    Ya but BS you know that glazed over look they give ya when you start telling them everything you really do
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  4. #34
    Registered User broad.stance's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by latebloomingmom View Post
    Ya but BS you know that glazed over look they give ya when you start telling them everything you really do
    By now the guys who happened to pick up an Olympic bar a decade ago know better than to ask.
    Also the details of my workouts sometimes bore me so I rarely go into those lol
    Hums the theme to Superman during planks and LYTPs. Now that you've read this, you will too.

    All right boys, now watch how this is done. The key is to put it all in your groin and your back.
    Take your legs totally out of the equation. Lift with your lower back in a jerking, twisting motion.
    -- Peter Griffin

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  5. #35
    Registered User missamerika's Avatar
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    Oh my goodness I love you all. haha! I'm in the same boat ... I got the most crap from my family about bodybuilding at first. They would get on me for what I ate, my supplements, my workout routine, just everything. (Which made me really sad because I LOVE my family to death!!) but I stuck with it and wouldn't give up, and they respect it now. My family used to all eat really unhealthy, but like my mom has changed her diet and exercise and lost 43 pounds. One of my sisters is now paleo and she's in awesome shape! My dad works out and runs ... like they're all changing now so my love for bb is not so radical anymore .. but I still get crap about it. Mostly from friends who think I'm crazy or overdoing it. They ALL ALWAYS say "You're not going to get all buff are you??" grrrr. My mom did freak out when she found out I though Dana Linn Baileys physique was amazing.
    It's sad because I can't get the people I love around me to respect and encourage me, but everyone at my gym respects and encourages me! I get more encouragement from amazing people there than my friends and family ...
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  6. #36
    Registered User ELLSKIES's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by missamerika View Post
    Oh my goodness I love you all. haha! I'm in the same boat ... I got the most crap from my family about bodybuilding at first. They would get on me for what I ate, my supplements, my workout routine, just everything. (Which made me really sad because I LOVE my family to death!!) but I stuck with it and wouldn't give up, and they respect it now. My family used to all eat really unhealthy, but like my mom has changed her diet and exercise and lost 43 pounds. One of my sisters is now paleo and she's in awesome shape! My dad works out and runs ... like they're all changing now so my love for bb is not so radical anymore .. but I still get crap about it. Mostly from friends who think I'm crazy or overdoing it. They ALL ALWAYS say "You're not going to get all buff are you??" grrrr. My mom did freak out when she found out I though Dana Linn Baileys physique was amazing.
    It's sad because I can't get the people I love around me to respect and encourage me, but everyone at my gym respects and encourages me! I get more encouragement from amazing people there than my friends and family ...
    They're just jealous and feeling bad about themselves, so that's how they react. Best bet? Ignore 'em and put the pedal to the medal!
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  7. #37
    Registered User gwnorth's Avatar
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    I hate to say it, but it might be time to make new friends. A study once showed that overweight people tend to have overweight friends. It makes them feel normal to associate with like people. The reality of the situation is that your friends now don't have the same interests as you and their attitudes are going to bring you down and sabotage your efforts. You need to start hanging out with like people who will re-inforce your new lifestyle.

    When my friends/family ask me about how I lost weight, I tell them very simply it's 80% diet and 20% exercise. I don't detail what my exercise entails or how I monitor my diet. My mother keeps on asking me what my diet is. I say I eat a little bit of everything just in smaller portions. That's not 100% true but it's what she needs to hear. If she really knew what my program consisted of she'd complain, like she did when I was marathon training.

    When my friends comment on me going to the gym 5 days a week, I tell them that I don't just go to the gym to lose weight, that I have other goals and if all they're interested in is weight loss, they certainly don't need to follow my exercise example, just clean up their diet and get a healthy amount of exercise. It's funny though since I started working out again and lost weight, many of them have gotten active as well. Most of them don't need to lose weight, just be active for health, and they're following my example, even lifting weights (but not heavy ones lol but that's ok, everyone needs to start somewhere). My goals are not their goals so they don't need to know the details of my program.
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  8. #38
    Registered User NatK's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by gwnorth View Post
    I hate to say it, but it might be time to make new friends. A study once showed that overweight people tend to have overweight friends. It makes them feel normal to associate with like people. The reality of the situation is that your friends now don't have the same interests as you and their attitudes are going to bring you down and sabotage your efforts. You need to start hanging out with like people who will re-inforce your new lifestyle.

    When my friends/family ask me about how I lost weight, I tell them very simply it's 80% diet and 20% exercise. I don't detail what my exercise entails or how I monitor my diet. My mother keeps on asking me what my diet is. I say I eat a little bit of everything just in smaller portions. That's not 100% true but it's what she needs to hear. If she really knew what my program consisted of she'd complain, like she did when I was marathon training.

    When my friends comment on me going to the gym 5 days a week, I tell them that I don't just go to the gym to lose weight, that I have other goals and if all they're interested in is weight loss, they certainly don't need to follow my exercise example, just clean up their diet and get a healthy amount of exercise. It's funny though since I started working out again and lost weight, many of them have gotten active as well. Most of them don't need to lose weight, just be active for health, and they're following my example, even lifting weights (but not heavy ones lol but that's ok, everyone needs to start somewhere). My goals are not their goals so they don't need to know the details of my program.
    Good point about the friends - I don't have friends with the same "healthy lifestyle" interests, just my bf
    That is great that your friends are becoming more active, you have made a positive impact on them
    My parents just got my trainer to build them a nutrition plan. They do not exercise, except walking, my mom commented that she has not lost any weight since they started to walk. I told her that she should reasses he diet, and now they have a new nutrition plan. I really hope that they given it a shot!! It will be so different for them, because they are used to 1) not eating anything; 2) eating out at restaurants; 3) not knowing what a carb is.......etc. Now they get to pack and preplan their lunches. I think it is awesome!!
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  9. #39
    Registered User Ang123's Avatar
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    Thought I was only one going through this. My family while supportive about my going to the gym get very insulted I won't go out with them for fast food. They don't understand my interest in bodybuilding so I don't discuss it in detail. They just think I lift light weights and use the cardio machines. They don't believe women can be strong, so my dad for instance keeps insisting he needs to come help me lift some lightweight item up my stairs and was amazed I got a table up my flight of 17 steps by myself. It really wasn't that heavy! His wife drives me crazy. She refuses to exercise yet she is jealous of my weight loss and getting in shape. She tries to compete with me on weight loss and says passive aggressive things. She tries to impress me that she lifted 80 lbs with leg press when she had physical therapy. I just didn't dare tell her I could lift 380. She takes phentramine to lose weight (even though its a highly dangerous drug) and goes on how she will eat just a piece of pineapple for breakfast or eat nothing at all but coffee until supper. Then for supper they always have fast food. She refuses to eat much protein, eating mainly sugar-free desserts and yet she gets mad she is not losing weight despite the phentramine which she is paying several hundred for per month between the quack clinic she has to pay cash to go to in order to get the prescription since general practioners around here now refuse to write scripts for it. Then the medicine itself costs a lot.
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  10. #40
    Registered User Ang123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sonti View Post
    I'm not talking about just the 3rd world places, people in Japan, Korea, and most of western Europe, don't go to the gym as commonly as those in the US, Canada, UK etc.
    Korea isn't really third world anymore. Well except maybe in some of their thinking, but they are very modern and metropolitan like the US now. I have had several female friends in Korea & also a Chinese friend in Indonesia and they were all aghast when I mentioned going to gym as they want to know what I do every day. Only men go to gyms they say as ladies do not exercise. They are not educated on health though and they honestly believed exercising made you fat. They do walk a lot more, but they do it from necessity of commuting and not for fitness-sake.
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  11. #41
    Registered User softvenom's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ang123 View Post
    Korea isn't really third world anymore. Well except maybe in some of their thinking, but they are very modern and metropolitan like the US now. I have had several female friends in Korea & also a Chinese friend in Indonesia and they were all aghast when I mentioned going to gym as they want to know what I do every day. Only men go to gyms they say as ladies do not exercise. They are not educated on health though and they honestly believed exercising made you fat. They do walk a lot more, but they do it from necessity of commuting and not for fitness-sake.
    This stigma and viewpoint is not so uncommon here for Asian-American females either. I'm Asian-American and so are a lot of my friends. Many are aghast when I tell them I love lifting and don't spend hours on the cardio machines like they do. I've never really fallen into the the common petite, thin Asian frame though, and the one time I ever did was when I had a serious eating disorder that left me pretty gaunt/bone-y at 94lbs. When I started, I only had one friend who supported the idea of me lifting weights. My boyfriend wasn't supportive at all (but he's the type that eats anything and remains thin). The funny thing is, my body is starting to change enough that others are noticing and asking questions. But as latebloomingmom mentioned above, many don't really want to hear the honest truth or take the advice I give them. Just focus and remember why you are doing this in the first place. Don't let the lack of supporters in your RL get you down. Be your own cheerleader! And there is always this forum with lovely ladies to root for you when you are feeling lost
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  12. #42
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    I'm kind of floating in the same boat as you.

    Hopefully when they see what I've become in 6 months they will hopefully not be so negative.
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  13. #43
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    Beebra: The way I see it the answer is pretty simple. Your "friends" wish they could have the kind of committment you have, but they do not. WHen they are audience to your devotion, drive, energy, etc - they immediately judge themselves and their own personal shortcomings become more evident than ever. People HATE coming face to face with the traits they dislike most about themselves so the only way to guard/combat that feeling is to make YOU feel like what YOU'RE doing is "crazy", "obsessive", "too much" - etc. Your buddy who only ate the "slice of bread" - used that silly comment to relieve himself of the embarrasment of realizing that you were probably training your tail off (even if he was at the other side of the gym) and he could by NO means compare. Sooooo, his slice of bread comment gave him the justification HE needed to help him deal with the fact that he was now fce to face with his own personal failure.
    Look your damned if you do and damned if you don't. In these days of our social networking frenzy, where we are all encouraged and have free license to comment on, report on , review, post, etc about anyone - folks will express their content/discontent with the way you live your life no matter how you do it. Keep up your healthy lifestyle - and when your "friends" have unsolicited comments for you - remember, it is their own unhappiness with themselves that is being projected unto you.
    Happy Training
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  14. #44
    Registered User MNTiburon's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MelnCrash View Post
    I have just recently lost 10 pounds and i still have really high body fat, yes i look better now than i did 2 months ago but some people at work (yep the overweight ones) are commenting that i work out 'too much' and i should stop now because i look 'good' now (they don't see the rolls of fat under the clothes though)
    Duh if i stopped i would just get fatter again! Lucky for me the health and fitness people are work outnumber the lazy ones by far so i always have someone to talk to. Also helps that we get free personal training at work for free so its a great team building thing!

    Also i got really lucky with my friends - We all used to be 'party' kids but now that we grew up a bit i think 75% of us are really into workout out and lifting now
    I always wonder why people think a diet or workout plan should ever stop. The key to maintaining a good figure once you obtain it is following a diet and workout plan that combines discipline and reality. Nobody is going to stay on a cabbage diet for more than a few days, but a diet consisting of mostly whole grains and lean proteins in doable. A thousand crunches a day might not fit your hectic lifestyle, but everyone can set aside at least 15 minutes a day for a good ab workout.
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    Registered User beebra's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by euphoria200 View Post
    beebra: The way i see it the answer is pretty simple. Your "friends" wish they could have the kind of committment you have, but they do not. When they are audience to your devotion, drive, energy, etc - they immediately judge themselves and their own personal shortcomings become more evident than ever. People hate coming face to face with the traits they dislike most about themselves so the only way to guard/combat that feeling is to make you feel like what you're doing is "crazy", "obsessive", "too much" - etc. Your buddy who only ate the "slice of bread" - used that silly comment to relieve himself of the embarrasment of realizing that you were probably training your tail off (even if he was at the other side of the gym) and he could by no means compare. Sooooo, his slice of bread comment gave him the justification he needed to help him deal with the fact that he was now fce to face with his own personal failure.
    Look your damned if you do and damned if you don't. In these days of our social networking frenzy, where we are all encouraged and have free license to comment on, report on , review, post, etc about anyone - folks will express their content/discontent with the way you live your life no matter how you do it. Keep up your healthy lifestyle - and when your "friends" have unsolicited comments for you - remember, it is their own unhappiness with themselves that is being projected unto you.
    Happy training
    amen!
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    I used to get alot of **** like that too. Family and Friends just dont get the reason why you do what you do. Many of them have accepted me the and dont whine about my love for this lifestyle but some still question it.
    I think that they either dont get you or are jealous of you
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  17. #47
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    Originally Posted by Ang123 View Post
    Korea isn't really third world anymore. Well except maybe in some of their thinking, but they are very modern and metropolitan like the US now. I have had several female friends in Korea & also a Chinese friend in Indonesia and they were all aghast when I mentioned going to gym as they want to know what I do every day. Only men go to gyms they say as ladies do not exercise. They are not educated on health though and they honestly believed exercising made you fat. They do walk a lot more, but they do it from necessity of commuting and not for fitness-sake.
    Sorry for the vague commas, but I was referring to Korea (and Japan, and western Europe) as modern/industrialized/1st world countries.
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    Totally understand!!

    I totally know where you are coming from! I am a school nurse.. Part of my job is promoting health, therefore when I decided to get fit at 40 and dropped 16 pounds, became super fit, I got A LOT of inquiries! Just like you... They ask and ask, then think it's going to happen by itself. Then they ask again. I don't mind sharing ALL my knowledge, but sometimes I wanna say "why are u wasting my time again? You never take my advice!" it takes work! Dedication! And also like you, I get the comments " well, your skinny". Nope. I'm fit! And I work my butt off for it! I don't walk in to work with McDonald every morning and expect my butt to get smaller! Lol. Anyhow, your SO not alone. They don't understand my obsession with weights, so I'm the strange one! Oh well, I'm healthy!
    Originally Posted by beebra View Post
    Hi all, I hope you are all feeling good and working hard.

    I have been wondering if any of you have experienced anything like what im going through. When I made the desicion to finally get healthy, sure, I want to look good, but im thinking about when I get older, and the health benefits it will bring. Ive quit smoking, I never really drank alcohol in the first place, and ive given up the old cardio, super low calorie way of thinking. Im working out 4-5 times a week, mostly lifting with a little interval training, have lost 16lbs this year and have managed to retain my lean mass...(have only toned up so far....wouldnt say ive gained a lot of muscle yet)..........so all my friends start asking what im doing to look so good.....and then the trouble starts.

    sure i wish my friends were healthier, BUT, i would never push what im doing on them. If they see the light and want support, Id be the first to do it, but i dont want to be a pain in the ass about what ive learned, so apart from my husband...I dont discuss my diet or workout plan unless im asked a direct question about it. I completely get that my friends want me to tell them that as long as they go to one zumba class a week thats enough to let them over eat every other day and still become an athlete. Its driving me crazy that all they do is ask me questions....yet they dont like the answers, and say im obsessed, or taking things to extremes. I have one friend in particlar who continually comments on my "obsessive eating" He asked to come to the gym with me the other day....and mentioned half way through the workout all he had eaten today was a slice of bread. it was 2pm in the day by this point. I asked how he can think im the crazy one when ive had, a protein shake, egg whites, oats, fruit, and a chicken salad so far, and was planning my next meal? He responded by quitting weights, and going for a "run" on the treadmill at 6km per hour lol. Im a little fed up with people asking for my help, but then continually putting me down. Its actually becoming an issue between us all and I can feel the tension. I dont care what they do with thier bodies....and i dont comment when their lunch is a can of dr pepper and a brownie, so why do people think its ok to put you down when you want to change your life and get fit??

    anyone else had something like this happen?
    "The New Forty"
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    Go girl!

    Funny, I've used that line! " I can squat you! And I'm proud of it!" I get asked also why I want muscles, um excuse me "did u see my after pics last year?" I looked damn good in muscles! " lol. Really tho, I tell them I like being able to paddle my OWN canoe, stacked my OWN hay for my horses, keep up with my kids on the trails, ride dirt bikes with my sons! I am 42 years old and love what my muscles to for me!
    Originally Posted by beebra View Post
    i know - i do try to say nothing, but i get quizzed all the time. its like they want to be better, but when you explain what it involves or show them an example of a programe they start saying " thats insane, no way id do that" and im thinkin........"erm, that was a beginners routine". I think im just a little upset as these are people ive know 10 years plus, and i although i didnt expect them to understand or do it with me.....i didnt expect nasty comments. If a few of us get together, they all laugh and say.."ooh, are you going to enter a competition when you have big muscles" or " you can lift me soon with your big hulk arms" It does hurt me a little, but whenever they laugh and say, "you will be able to lift me soon" ...im smirking in my head and thinking...."guuurl, I squated twice your weight today" hahaha.
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    Originally Posted by latebloomingmom View Post
    my advice would be..when asked what you are doing...
    ummm give as little information as possible
    I have learned that most people really dont want to know..
    jealousy...pea green with it..people that are out of shape like other people who are out of shape
    misery loves company..
    OP..you went against the grain..left the pack so to speak..
    that builds resentment in the remaining members.
    I was thinking the same thing
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  21. #51
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    People are also always asking me if I do P90X or Insanity? I'm like, aw hell no! Even when I thought more cardio was the answer I sure as heck wasn't wanting any part of that! I tell them I eat right, try to eat at or less than 1500 calories a day and work out 5 days a week. I've sent a link to the weight loss type site I used when I first started my journey to numerous people who've asked. No one seems to actually follow up. They just tell me how strong I am, and how they wish they had my willpower. (Clearly, they did not see me sneak Easter candy last night!) My mom's always on "this diet" or "that diet", but "I coulnd't do it last week because I had this conference and this lunch out, but I'll go back next week, etc." It gets old. My SiL also asked me more than once what I'm "taking". I told her I'm taking anything, and she looked at me in disbelief (as did my MiL). My ILs are always asking my husband what he does (he's always been fit, he powerlifts, but has gotten fastidious about being low carb and getting lean these days and is 11% bodyfat now), but then when he tells them, they insist that their doctor told them that's an unhealthy way to eat. It's a no win. They are also forever trying to "tempt" him, as if that would prove something about him. "You can have just one piece of X." (That is my downfall, I am easily tempted. ) I am also told on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis that I'm "too skinny" and that "I hope you're done losing weight now!"
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    Oh man have I been there before. My family would make fun of me all the time and bf he would tell ppl that I was starving myself just because I ate small portioned meals 6 times a day..I was puzzled by that and also very hurt that he was making fun of me too. His family would get upset with me because I didn't want to eat their foods (very very unhealthy). After my family started seeing me lose weight and sticking with it they don't talk as much trash now and ask for help with getting fit, but they give up and I want to get back at them, but realize I'm the better person lol. You are always going to encounter ppl like that, its a shame.
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    Who cares about support from people? Will you fail if you don't get that? Support yourself, that's all that counts. And if anyone 'does' offer props or support...hey, chalk it up as a rarity.
    “Any idiot can face a crisis, it is this day-to-day living that wears you out.” Anton Chekhov

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    Originally Posted by beebra View Post
    Hi all, I hope you are all feeling good and working hard.

    I have been wondering if any of you have experienced anything like what im going through. When I made the desicion to finally get healthy, sure, I want to look good, but im thinking about when I get older, and the health benefits it will bring. Ive quit smoking, I never really drank alcohol in the first place, and ive given up the old cardio, super low calorie way of thinking. Im working out 4-5 times a week, mostly lifting with a little interval training, have lost 16lbs this year and have managed to retain my lean mass...(have only toned up so far....wouldnt say ive gained a lot of muscle yet)..........so all my friends start asking what im doing to look so good.....and then the trouble starts.

    sure i wish my friends were healthier, BUT, i would never push what im doing on them. If they see the light and want support, Id be the first to do it, but i dont want to be a pain in the ass about what ive learned, so apart from my husband...I dont discuss my diet or workout plan unless im asked a direct question about it. I completely get that my friends want me to tell them that as long as they go to one zumba class a week thats enough to let them over eat every other day and still become an athlete. Its driving me crazy that all they do is ask me questions....yet they dont like the answers, and say im obsessed, or taking things to extremes. I have one friend in particlar who continually comments on my "obsessive eating" He asked to come to the gym with me the other day....and mentioned half way through the workout all he had eaten today was a slice of bread. it was 2pm in the day by this point. I asked how he can think im the crazy one when ive had, a protein shake, egg whites, oats, fruit, and a chicken salad so far, and was planning my next meal? He responded by quitting weights, and going for a "run" on the treadmill at 6km per hour lol. Im a little fed up with people asking for my help, but then continually putting me down. Its actually becoming an issue between us all and I can feel the tension. I dont care what they do with thier bodies....and i dont comment when their lunch is a can of dr pepper and a brownie, so why do people think its ok to put you down when you want to change your life and get fit??

    anyone else had something like this happen?
    most people do .. hang in there

    Is your husband supportive?? that's all it matters
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    Originally Posted by sonti View Post
    And my question is this... why is it that people who are 'new' to the fitness lifestyle always encounter this problem?

    It's like the girl who just started her diet - THEY ALWAYS TALK ABOUT IT and invite it! Sorry, but I see this happen all the time. They are new, they love it, they inadvertently do things like drink protein shakes at family gatherings or blah blah blah about the gym and then wonder why they get people's attention. I used to work with a group of women, the ones who used to yap the most about their 'lifestyle' were the girls that just started working out and were hardly a spitting image of fitness. The only ones who didn't talk on and on? Me, a lifter of 7 or so years, and another girl who actually competes in figure.

    Of course people don't like being lectured and told they are not disciplined or eat too much. Especially when they are being told by someone who 'has just seen the light' themselves.

    It's like the person who quit smoking last month is the first one to get annoyed by a smoker....
    I can totally appreciate that some people simply may not be able to shut up about their new lifestyle. We all know that person and hopefully we all try NOT to be that person.

    However, please consider that if you have been in the lifestyle for 7 years, people aren't going to be very shocked or overly interested in what you are doing because you have "always" been doing it. However when a woman suddenly goes from being 220 lbs to being 170 lbs, LOTS of people in her life are going to notice and ask LOTS of questions. I am by no means in shape but I look a lot better than I did before, so people constantly ask me what I am doing. If that woman goes even further and hits her ideal size after having been out of shape for a decade, just about every woman in her personal life is going to assault her with questions 24/7.

    I like the advice of being vague. I say next to nothing to people whenever possible unless I sense that they are truly serious. Even then, I just tell them I am following a book and give them the title and let them decide for themselves if it makes sense for them. Then at least any follow up questions will be based on what the book told them and not what I said. If they feel attacked or bullied by a book, that's their problem
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    I feel your pain. I decided to lose weight when I got out of high school and was very successful, losing about 60 pounds. After giving up all the crappy foods I used to eat I feel so much better, and have gotten rid of all of these health issues I used to have. The best thing the doctor could give me was medication, which would stop working and I would need a stronger dose. I am amazed at how healing a decent diet can be. But I always get the same crap from family especially. They keep asking me why I always eat things like vegetables and chicken breast when I'm too thin, I'm going to die or something if I don't include more of the processed, greasy, garbage they eat everyday. They're the type of people that think that the only reason to include nutritious foods in your diet is in order to lose weight. And every single one of them is overweight. My mother's doctor even told her that she needs to lose weight. My brother is getting huge and gets no "advice", while every one of my aunts and uncles from my father's side has diabetes. Yet they only criticize me for eating "too healthy".

    What's frustrating is that I'm trying to bulk, eating until I feel sick at times. And I've explained this many times. But everyone thinks I have an eating disorder and talks down to me on trying to get me to "eat." I refuse to go back to my old lifestyle when I'm feeling so much better and accomplished now. And it gets really annoying when such unhealthy people who have probably never read a health article in their life try to give me health advice.
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