New Gay Thread - Part 5

[mntbikedude]

Hello everyone, can I join this thread?

I never knew I was gay until I had feelings for a guy when I was 14. He was and still is my first love. I've never said to anyone that "I'm gay" and I never had to because people kind of knew it but I've confessed my love to 2 guys in my entire life (one I just mentioned and another one when I was 21). The first guy wasn't really cool with it at first because he's straight and we've known each other since we were 4!! So I kind of ruined our friendship but we somehow became close friends after that.

Welcome and thanks for adding. It's always interesting to read how everyone has a different journey to their end result.

[mntbikedude]

I knew since I was 16 or so, but always was in denial about it, until I couldn't take it anymore at 24. My parents kept trying to find me a wife, and I kept resisting. Eventually my mom just asked me if I was gay, so I told her...and she still tried to hook me up with this girl from Chicago afterward. When my mom told my dad, he told me to go to a strip club and get a lap dance, as he thought that would turn me. I went just to humor him, and afterwards told him I felt nothing. He just replied "too bad" and we haven't talked about me being gay ever since. My mom still encourages me to get married, but thankfully there isn't a specific gender attached to her wish for me to marry anymore. My cousin also knows, and that's really it for my family. I told my best friends before I told my parents, and they took it perfectly fine.

If anyone wonders about my background, I was born in Ukraine. My parents are actually pretty liberal compared to other Russians/Ukrainians that I know.

It's interesting how hard it is for dads to deal with it. I have two sons and I was so worried that I was going to do something that made them gay. Thank heaven I relaxed and realize nothing I did was going to make them something they weren't all ready. So I was always letting them know that no matter what they were they would be loved the same. The family joke was always look dad for the last time I'm not the gay son you always wanted. lol

I had a good relationship with both my parents but both died before I came out. I think my mom would have been the type that would be sure I could be fixed but don't know how my dad would have reacted. I still have a longing to be able to talk to him about it. He was incredibly wise and I feel that he would have been ok with it.

[ehwd]

If anything I'd say friendships got better (certainly more comfortable). Family took a little bit of time to settle down/get used to the idea, but now it's great.

[mntbikedude]

I knew from like 5 that I liked girls but it seemed normal. When i was in 3rd grade I realized the other girls only gossiped about boys they liked and thats when I figured maybe liking girls wasn't "normal", but I still never knew what it was called. Finally around 11 I accidentally bumped into the homosexual insert in the encyclopedia and learned what it was. From 12 - 18 it took a while to be used to it and accept my gayness. I have yet to come out to my mother and older sister since they're more or less super religious (well moreso older sister who says some pretty disgusting things about "those ***s") my mother isn't as harsh but she just says stuff that make me wary to say oh hey im one of "those people you think their lifestyles shouldn't be exposed to children" -.- I did tell all my college friends or if I didn't tell them outright, I didn't hide it either so they all know. I did have some foreign friends from China, they weren't as accepting and literally didn't want the friendship to continue but I've gotten used to not feeling bad about that, it sucks though but if that's how they feel its better we didn't continue a friendship anyways.
Oh, I'm supposed to say the first 3. Well my younger sister sort of knew so idk if she counts because I never told her. So my first was my cats. I was 13 and I didn't have many friends so I told them. They were cool with it. The second and third (and so forth) were the classmates in college.

I have a sister-in-law that we have all assumed is a lesbian but no one can say it out loud. But I know it doesn't matter and we were fine with her tending out kids and such I have wanted to let her know that all of the family loves her and if she is it doesn't matter but my wife just refuses to talk about it with her.

[mntbikedude]

I knew I was attracted to both males and females when I was probably 13 or 14 I'd say. I have this strong attraction toward older men and older women, and when I discovered fapping out I would look at older women one day and older men the next day on the internet when my parents/ sisters weren't home and fap ferociously lol. The first 3 people I told were my 3 best friends which was last year. They all pretty much had the same response/reaction. "Dude you are?? No way! Really???" They couldn't believe I was bi, but they are all cool with it!

That is interesting I've known plenty of gay brahs that are attracted to older gay men but never heard of being also attracted to older women. Have you ever actually dated an older women? And I've come to the point that I realize in a perfect world I need a man and a women in my life but this isn't a perfect world. That was one reason I left the thread back in the day because there were certain posters who thought that people being bi was just a gay person in denial. For me typically I'm going to say I'm gay just because that is the major part of my attraction mechanism.

[joshisfresh]

That is interesting I've known plenty of gay brahs that are attracted to older gay men but never heard of being also attracted to older women. Have you ever actually dated an older women? And I've come to the point that I realize in a perfect world I need a man and a women in my life but this isn't a perfect world. That was one reason I left the thread back in the day because there were certain posters who thought that people being bi was just a gay person in denial. For me typically I'm going to say I'm gay just because that is the major part of my attraction mechanism.

No I have never dated an older women since I always go for the 40+ ones, but everytime I go out to the bars I do my best to try and take one home but always fail lol.

[atticus_a]

For me sexuality was more insidious. The thoughts and feelings grew through the years so the exact timing is fuzzy. As must of us know it can be tricky, like when you just convince yourself that you are just really good friends with another guy but really it is because it is a crush. But when I knew for certain, I was 19. I was a little messed up about it because I was raised extremely religious (read cultish almost) pre-teen years so I was taught that homosexuals were a lot of really bad things and I just had a simple attraction to men. There was nothing sinister about my affections; it was hard to identify with gay or homosexual because I was basically raised they were very evil an amoral individuals.

Family..My brother is cool with it. My mother still looking for me to have the right girl (right now, she has her eye on her pharmacist) . She didn't really acknowledge my coming out to her. Her response was she liked boobs and she wanted to get dominos' brownie bites. Father is rather too self absorbed. He probably knows but than again if I put a gun to his head and told him I would pull the trigger if he couldn't tell me what I went to college for...I would probably have to pull the trigger because he wouldn't know. My mom's family had no problem given money to a cousin and asking her to leave the family for her lesbianism. Father's side.. I don't know them well. Just that there is a lot (father had 60 something first cousins). No contact really.

Friends. It can change certain friendships but all in all I didn't care. For the most part, most of friends from before were not the people I really would like to be friends with now. Not to be a snob but I have a low threshold for individuals that do not take care of themselves and do not take responsible for their actions. I could say it changed relationships but for the most part it made it easier to cease maladaptive friendships. Lost some good people in the wash but all in all my life and the types of individual's I am friends with are better.

[mntbikedude]

No I have never dated an older women since I always go for the 40+ ones, but everytime I go out to the bars I do my best to try and take one home but always fail lol.

Well keep us posted it would be interesting to hear how it turned out and if it was as hot as you thought it was going to be.

[mntbikedude]

For me sexuality was more insidious. The thoughts and feelings grew through the years so the exact timing is fuzzy. As must of us know it can be tricky, like when you just convince yourself that you are just really good friends with another guy but really it is because it is a crush. But when I knew for certain, I was 19. I was a little messed up about it because I was raised extremely religious (read cultish almost) pre-teen years so I was taught that homosexuals were a lot of really bad things and I just had a simple attraction to men. There was nothing sinister about my affections; it was hard to identify with gay or homosexual because I was basically raised they were very evil an amoral individuals.

Family..My brother is cool with it. My mother still looking for me to have the right girl (right now, she has her eye on her pharmacist) . She didn't really acknowledge my coming out to her. Her response was she liked boobs and she wanted to get dominos' brownie bites. Father is rather too self absorbed. He probably knows but than again if I put a gun to his head and told him I would pull the trigger if he couldn't tell me what I went to college for...I would probably have to pull the trigger because he wouldn't know. My mom's family had no problem given money to a cousin and asking her to leave the family for her lesbianism. Father's side.. I don't know them well. Just that there is a lot (father had 60 something first cousins). No contact really.

Friends. It can change certain friendships but all in all I didn't care. For the most part, most of friends from before were not the people I really would like to be friends with now. Not to be a snob but I have a low threshold for individuals that do not take care of themselves and do not take responsible for their actions. I could say it changed relationships but for the most part it made it easier to cease maladaptive friendships. Lost some good people in the wash but all in all my life and the types of individual's I am friends with are better.

That just makes me sad this is an all too common story.

[ptheripper]

That is interesting I've known plenty of gay brahs that are attracted to older gay men but never heard of being also attracted to older women. Have you ever actually dated an older women? And I've come to the point that I realize in a perfect world I need a man and a women in my life but this isn't a perfect world. That was one reason I left the thread back in the day because there were certain posters who thought that people being bi was just a gay person in denial. For me typically I'm going to say I'm gay just because that is the major part of my attraction mechanism.

I don't understand why some people don't believe in bisexuality. I'm sure there are many bi guys who are just gay guys in denial but there must be bi guys who are truly bi. Come on people, this world is really large. Even something that people don't think it exists but it really does.

No I have never dated an older women since I always go for the 40+ ones, but everytime I go out to the bars I do my best to try and take one home but always fail lol.

I can see why you failed. If someone who's 10+ years younger than me came to talk to me in the bar, I would automatically think that a.) He's after my money or b.) He's looking for sex (fewer chance). I'm not saying it's impossible for young person to date someone who's much older without benefits involved but it's highly unlikely to happen. I think you know what I'm trying to say.

[joshisfresh]

Well keep us posted it would be interesting to hear how it turned out and if it was as hot as you thought it was going to be.

I have a pretty good feeling it is never going to happen ha.

[QUOTE=ptheripper;I can see why you failed. If someone who's 10+ years younger than me came to talk to me in the bar, I would automatically think that a.) He's after my money or b.) He's looking for sex (fewer chance). I'm not saying it's impossible for young person to date someone who's much older without benefits involved but it's highly unlikely to happen. I think you know what I'm trying to say.[/QUOTE]

Yeah I'm pretty much just trying to get laid but I understand what you are saying.

[7Famark]

So I ****ed my wrist doing triceps yesterday...

Should I be trying not to move it, or should I be like range-of-motioning it (for lack of better words)? It's not broken or sprained just strained to the point where I know trying to put the same kind of pressure on it will hurt

[broad.stance]

So I ****ed my wrist doing triceps yesterday...

Should I be trying not to move it, or should I be like range-of-motioning it (for lack of better words)? It's not broken or sprained just strained to the point where I know trying to put the same kind of pressure on it will hurt

When I strained my wrist I didn't do any type of mobility work.

I simply followed the PRICE method (Protect, Rest, Ice, Compress, Elevate) and took a week off, only doing light footwork cardio.

[mntbikedude]

So I ****ed my wrist doing triceps yesterday...

Should I be trying not to move it, or should I be like range-of-motioning it (for lack of better words)? It's not broken or sprained just strained to the point where I know trying to put the same kind of pressure on it will hurt

I ****ed my wrist up too yesterday. I've done that before and just put this band on my wrist that as allowed it to heal up.

[ptheripper]

Yeah I'm pretty much just trying to get laid but I understand what you are saying.

Out of my curiosity, have you ever dated any 40+ guy? How did it go?
feel free to ignore the question if it's too personal.

So I ****ed my wrist doing triceps yesterday...

Should I be trying not to move it, or should I be like range-of-motioning it (for lack of better words)? It's not broken or sprained just strained to the point where I know trying to put the same kind of pressure on it will hurt

I f***ed up my right wrist 2.5 months ago. And now it's still not completely healed. At first it wasn't bad. I just felt that something was not normal but I continued working out anyway. 2 sets after that, I had to stop because I couldn't even hold the dumbbell. Then it got really bad so that I couldn't hold a water pitcher. I hope you don't make the same mistake that I did. take some time off, rest, or deload

[Erosay]

So I am finally over my 4 day cold... thank god. I feel so much better now that i can breathe without snot flying out of my nose or coughing up a lung. But I think the time off is what my body needed.. my biceps look even bigger than before im going to attempt to crack out one hell of a workout today.

[mntbikedude]

It's funny I'm the oldest person here and I can still remember so many details about my first crush really it was two guys at the same time (that came out wrong). One was Lance from gym class. He was a year older Hispanic or at least dark complexion. He always wore this wife beater and I still remember him saying hi to me.....

My other crush was at the same time and was my English teacher. He was this young dude about 27, wore fry boots had this 70's porn stash and was the advisor to the motorcycle club. I took German just so I could have another class from him. I remember this one time in class I guess I was always talking about sexual topics and he said in front of the whole class....mntbikedude you need to get layed. Sad part is how old he would be now lol.

[Doudline]

I can see why you failed. If someone who's 10+ years younger than me came to talk to me in the bar, I would automatically think that a.) He's after my money or b.) He's looking for sex (fewer chance). I'm not saying it's impossible for young person to date someone who's much older without benefits involved but it's highly unlikely to happen. I think you know what I'm trying to say.

You're only 30, lol. Are people really going after you for money? I'm 20, don't give a single **** about money, and would date a 30 y/o without any problem. It would probably be around my upper limit though, because we're at such different moments of our lives at that point, but yeah.

So I ****ed my wrist doing triceps yesterday...

Should I be trying not to move it, or should I be like range-of-motioning it (for lack of better words)? It's not broken or sprained just strained to the point where I know trying to put the same kind of pressure on it will hurt

Are you sure it's only strained? I hurt my foot during a judo class a few years ago, it didn't hurt initially and I could walk on it just fine so everyone told me it was nothing, and two days later I was at my doc's with a swollen, blue foot and (revealed by a late radiography) a few broken bones. Just saying.

[atticus_a]

When I strained my wrist I didn't do any type of mobility work.

I simply followed the PRICE method (Protect, Rest, Ice, Compress, Elevate) and took a week off, only doing light footwork cardio.

^^^^excellent advice. Typically, people like NSAIDS as well for the pain management if necessarily.

Are you sure it's only strained? I hurt my foot during a judo class a few years ago, it didn't hurt initially and I could walk on it just fine so everyone told me it was nothing, and two days later I was at my doc's with a swollen, blue foot and (revealed by a late radiography) a few broken bones. Just saying.

You are the exception not the rule. Typically, when you fracture something you can't hold your weight. Typically, if there is no significant swelling there is no significant derangement of the structures. That sucks that it happen to you though.

[joshisfresh]

Out of my curiosity, have you ever dated any 40+ guy? How did it go?
feel free to ignore the question if it's too personal.

No I have not

[ptheripper]

You're only 30, lol. Are people really going after you for money? I'm 20, don't give a single **** about money, and would date a 30 y/o without any problem. It would probably be around my upper limit though, because we're at such different moments of our lives at that point, but yeah.

First of all, please understand that what I'm going to say is based on my personal experience and circumstance. no offense to anyone
I've been approached a few times in my entire life and they were all prostitutes. It's as sad as it sounds but it's the truth. I'm not that ugly but I don't think I'm attractive enough to make someone approach me. Although I'm not old enough to be a sugar daddy, I have to take precautions because I've heard too many stories. It doesn't have to be a lot of money. It can be just 600 dollars a month. Some college dudes do this for extra money. My close gay friend also constantly warns me about this. He says that I'm very susceptible to this because I'm a 30 year-old virgin gay dude who's never been in relationship. I would date someone 10+ years older than me without a problem though.

It's funny I'm the oldest person here and I can still remember so many details about my first crush really it was two guys at the same time (that came out wrong). One was Lance from gym class. He was a year older Hispanic or at least dark complexion. He always wore this wife beater and I still remember him saying hi to me.....

My other crush was at the same time and was my English teacher. He was this young dude about 27, wore fry boots had this 70's porn stash and was the advisor to the motorcycle club. I took German just so I could have another class from him. I remember this one time in class I guess I was always talking about sexual topics and he said in front of the whole class....mntbikedude you need to get layed. Sad part is how old he would be now lol.

Have you ever thought about finding them on FB to see how their lives have changed?

I just realized that my first crush was my first love! He was cool, outstanding in so many ways, smart but not a nerd, athletic, and the list goes on and on. In my eyes, he was (and still is) perfect. It's too bad that we've been drifting apart in the past years because we don't live near anymore. :'(

[mntbikedude]

Have you ever thought about finding them on FB to see how their lives have changed?

:'(

No I don't even know Lances last name. All I have is his picture lifting weights but they didn't list any names lol. As far as young guys hitting on older guys. I don't think I'm good looking at all but I do have a decent body and a bit of swagger and I get hit on all the time by guys in their 20's. I'm married so I can't do anything about it but if I wasn't I wouldn't have any trouble which is good because I'm not into guys my own age.

[Savyna]

My first crush was my kindergarten teacher Mrs. A. She was beautiful and tall (well I was like only 3ft plus so...). I didn't realize it was a crush until later but she was the first. The first girl I had a crush on after I knew what being gay was, was an 11 year old girl in my day camp. We are still friends now but ugh sometimes I just feel so damn embarrassed about it all. >.> I also had a crush on this other girl who was Hispanic and had a younger sister that looked like Vanessa Carlton. I think she liked me back but I was so awkward and didnt know what to do before I knew it (or got her house phone number) camp was over and I never saw her again. Just my luck.

[bhujerban]

My first crush was this dude named Derek in my junior phys ed class in high school. He was pretty, tall, beautiful hair and eyes, and a very likeable guy. I liked everything about him, and tried to buddy up to him to see if I could get... a little closer. Well, we went out dancing one night at Zero Gravity, which had just opened up near my home. And he hardly said two words to me. We'd take a break from dancing, and he'd sit and smoke (which I found very erotic on him), and avoided eye contact the entire time. Somehow, he gave me his phone number afterwards, and like an idiot, I called him. He was hard to talk to on the phone, and never really spoke about anything. My attempts at conversation were frustrating, and eventually I gave it up. He graduated and I didn't see him again until years later. He got fat and was definitely out of the closet. But still hard to talk to. By this point I had long since moved on, and while I tried to be a friend (but not TOO friendly), he made it clear that my attention was as welcome now as it was in high school. So now I just don't associate with him.

On the plus side, a guy I used to go around with told me he also dated (and slept with) Derek. Dude's got a micro penis. So I really didn't miss much.

[atticus_a]

It seems that everyone had crushes on teachers. I feel like I was ripped off... I mean I can't recall a single on that was remotely attractive in any sense of the word. Most of them looked straight out of middle earth.

[broad.stance]

It seems that everyone had crushes on teachers. I feel like I was ripped off... I mean I can't recall a single on that was remotely attractive in any sense of the word. Most of them looked straight out of middle earth.

"Straight out of middle earth." lol

I wouldn't place crushes on caretakers and authority figures in the same category as romantic/sexual crushes. While they can be conflated when a person has developed a sense of (one or both of) the latter, they're very different things early on in life.

[Erosay]

Man maybe I am a weirdo.. I had a crush on this really popular boy in the third grade... I know I had a crush on him because I always had a hard time talking to him even into high school... lol We were kind of friends for a time. Just road the bus together and I wasn't an unlikeable guy.. in high school I was such a ***... x.x Looking back compared to the man I am now... I would say I was so gay sometimes it hurt lol.

BTW!!! I did an mile in less than 8 minutes last night - Just did it to see how fast I could do it. Completed a mile in 7:40 which I normally don't push myself like that doing cardio but I am starting to more.

also... have any of you guys heard of CLAW (Cleveland Leather Annual Weekend) a friend of mine asked me to volunteer for it and put me into a pair of his leather pants... its either that or booty shorts. But I am contemplating doing it to help him out plus he wants me to bar tend for the event VIPS on the party bus so I would get to meet some cool men.

[bhujerban]

also... have any of you guys heard of CLAW (Cleveland Leather Annual Weekend) a friend of mine asked me to volunteer for it and put me into a pair of his leather pants... its either that or booty shorts. But I am contemplating doing it to help him out plus he wants me to bar tend for the event VIPS on the party bus so I would get to meet some cool men.

I have! Learned of it last month. The MC at the Mr Chicago Leather is an Englishman, and he swears it is pronounced "clah" (as in 'clot'). It was quite entertaining to hear him talk and make fun of the American Midwest accent, which people say doesn't sound like anything. You should totally go - it's fun! Plus you'll see lots of hot guys who are similarly dressed, and if the same guy is MCing (and I think he is or else why would he promote it), you have some lolz in the process. He's funny and looks damn good in rubber. (And so do I by remarkable coincidence.)

[sandmussel]

I had a crush on one of my math teachers in college. Math has always been my worst subject and I usually got sleepy or had my mind wandering while looking out the window in math classes, but this teacher had such a beautiful athletic build and I couldn't help but keep my eyes on him. Collateral to that was that I paid more attention to what he said in class and eventually got a pretty good final grade for the class - the only time I ever did well in a math class Last time I ever saw him, he was in his swim trunks at the university swimming pool - what an awesome sight!

[broad.stance]

Getting a good idea why people complain so much when cutting. I'm not bothered by hunger because my caloric range keeps me satiated, but the deficit is really making me feel beat up and the pains of working out.

I'm not exactly tired all the time, but I can take a nap at the drop of a hat. I occasionally do a static thoracic extension on a PVC pipe, and last week I feel asleep while on it. Also, I don't get DOMs like I used to, instead aches are mostly in joints and I wonder if it's tendonitis and then gamble on whether I can treat it until the next deload. I think some of you jinxed me on that point because one of the aches is in my wrist.

A good thing is I am now aware of just how much of a factor a food surplus plays in recovery during strength/mass programs. Silver linings.