100 lbs, 5'8, Former Anorexic

[boyofmisery]

TL; DR: *http:*//forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=143732573




I've been playing computer games for 4 years, since I was 15 till now, 19.

Every gaming sessions lasted up to 5-10 hours, sometimes 2-3 days (48-72 hours), sometimes without sleeping/eating. I did this nearly everyday. I rarely exercised either. At the lowest point, I reahed 100 lbs in term of weight, and I was 5'8 tall that time.

I'm scared cuz I've read about gamers that have died cuz of gaming marathons similar to what I've been doing these years. There's a StarCraft player who died after 50 hours of gaming session. And there were more deaths, and some of them even did less lengthy sessions than I did. A man said that his heart pounded very hard a day before he died. Several times during my peak, my heart also pounded very hard that it felt like it's gonna explode and it hurted so much. Once I also fainted when walking home from the internet cafe. Everything became dark that time and I saw my hand moving by itself. I still got a very little consciousness to notice what's going around, like I saw people on the road running all over me and lifting me to the nearest bench.

***
1. What has happened? Did I nearly have a heart attack?
***

I weighed 100 lbs once during that time. This weight has stayed for a few months. Based on my researches on online medical websites, when ur weight is too low, when u have no/little fat/muscle left in ur body, ur body will make energy from non-regrowable organs (growable: fat/muscle) such as lungs, brain, heart, etc and do permanent damages to them.

***
2. Was 100 lbs dangerously "too low" if I was 5'8 tall that time? Had I reached to the point where there's no fat/muscle left? Have I shrunk and damaged my internal organs?
***

So, since the last few years till today, I've never been feeling so well. I always feel weak, dizzy, slow-minded, blank-minded, and many parts of my body that don't feel good. At 19, though I weigh normally at 150-155 lbs now, being a 5'9 guy, I don't even have a sex drive. I don't have hard muscles nor can mantain it firm even if I work out for a month(s)-it always go soft if I stop for a few days. Whereas I used to be a healthy football athlete, brilliant math student, and a horny dude at junior high school. Now, I also can't stand football even for minutes. I feel like my heart, brain, and other organs have been damaged.

***
3. What do u think the possible health complications that I'm having today, knowing that I've had a very bad lifestyle (I don't want to make it to sound worse than it actually is, but this lifestyle killed people like I've mentioned before)? R there any consequences that I have to bear for the rest of my life? Why didn't my testosterone get back to its former level? And if u could, please explain things in a detailed way, like how my body mechanism works against the bad lifestyle.
***

I'm not trolling, but the last while not the least, is that my penis has shrunk over my teenage years. It used to be 5.5'/6' and now it's just 4.5'/5' and a lot thinner. I assure u it really shrunk, no growing palm, no fat pad covering the pubic area, no visual thingy. And the thinner girth can be proved by the feeling of my hasn't-grown palm, and its loose skin when it erects. And during my gaming peak, when I was 100 lbs, when I played games for 2-3 days without sleeping, with little/no food/drink, it shrank to a marble size and looked like it only had the skins left. My balls also nearly disappeared, and they were damn flat that time.

***
4. How could it happen? Had I reached the point where my body burned energy from my penis? Or is it plainly about lack of blood flow and testosterone? Eating disorder experts, please!
***

I've quitted living the bad lifestyle since last year. But, I've never felt any major improvements on my body yet. I don't really exercise cuz of I don't have the desire (since I've found out that it didn't really help-I played soccer twice a week regularly for 3 months, but the condition hadn't really improved, no improvements good enough to say 'my life is back, fck yeah!', moreover my health state felt like returning to its low level after I stopped doing sports even for a few days.) nor the energy, although I'm not underweighed anymore now. Now, I also can only sleep for 4-5 hours maximum. I always wake up after that, I can't get a consecutive 8 hours. Why is this?

And if fortunately there's no long term damage done to my body, I'm concerned about my remaining puberty and my body growth, including penile growth, and since I was no early bloomer, I expect myself to not have stopped puberty by the age of 15. About the height growth, from what I've read, during the recovery of eating disorder, to protect bone mass, the body would've produced estrogen which is known to close growth plates on the long bones and prevent further height growth. Is it also applicable to my case?




I really want to make an appointment with any medical professionals, but the current economical condition can't be asked to co-operate and the credibility and experience of the local medical experts are questionable. So, it's a big bet..

[miacanesfan25]

Go with your last sentence. You should definitely seek some medical attention before anything to ensure you are healthy to even begin exercise.

[boyofmisery]

Go with your last sentence. You should definitely seek some medical attention before anything to ensure you are healthy to even begin exercise.

I think it's better to seek advices and stories from experienced recovered anorexic before seeking medical helps. as u can see, i got zero cash atm, and won't be having any for a while.

i can't find a decent job here in my country, since i don't have my high school degree and certificate. yeah, i got dropped out from school twice. once when my first eating disorder occured, when i was 15, and the last when i was 18, where i got depressed for a frickin girl and threw myself for one more time to the frickin first person shooter game, till eventually i got attached to it again.

even if try to get a job such as dishwasher or waiter, the monthly salary of those jobs here won't be enough for me to meet a doctor unless i work for 6 months.

and as i said before, the credibility and experience of the doctors here are questionable thus it will be a big bet for me to spend my money on them..

[miacanesfan25]

I hear what you're saying. I don't know anything about your situation other than what you've said and I'm sorry your going through this. I'm sure someone on here can provide some better advice, but I would highly suggest saving your money and visiting with a doctor to ensure you're healthy enough to begin exercise then possibly a psychologist for your other concerns. People are out their to help you just need to take some initiative to find it, this is a great first step though! Good luck with everything man!

[boyofmisery]

I hear what you're saying. I don't know anything about your situation other than what you've said and I'm sorry your going through this. I'm sure someone on here can provide some better advice, but I would highly suggest saving your money and visiting with a doctor to ensure you're healthy enough to begin exercise then possibly a psychologist for your other concerns. People are out their to help you just need to take some initiative to find it, this is a great first step though! Good luck with everything man!

Thanks.. My bad also that I didn't complete the details. Well, actually there were also my posts on the net regarding this case with each of them consisted of maybe about tenths thousand words. but, i think if i post it that long here, people won't read LOL.

Actually i'm collecting money now. but still i won't easily spend it. i'm also finding informations about the right doctor.

the weird thing is, nobody being an experienced/former anorexic has gave me answers/stories despite of the 100++ posts about this i've made on the net. There's maybe a few and the most helpful anorexic was a guy who was still shorter and fatter than me at his lowest weight. so i can't really count him as veterans.

i hope there is (hopefully are) someone here experienced enough.

[joelash302]

You really really need to get to a doctor.

[boyofmisery]

I need sum1 as veteran as this *http*://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=281112&highlight=anorexia to share how's his life going after being anorexic..

I'm sure there must be sum1 like him here..

[AlwaysTryin]

I need sum1 as veteran as this *http*://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=281112&highlight=anorexia to share how's his life going after being anorexic..

I'm sure there must be sum1 like him here..

PM Determined4000

[Chazster]

Just curious but are you Korean?

[ErikTheElectric]

Just curious but are you Korean?

FUARKIN LOLed.





But OP, please stop making threads... GO SEE A DOCTOR!


Trust me when I say.. they are going to be able to help you A LOT MORE than a bunch of strangers on an internet forum.

[boyofmisery]

Yes, I'm Korean.

[Z Gatrel]

Well oddly enough my circumstance was nearly identical to yours but stimmed from depression. Age 15-18 gamed alot, was obese at 15, anorexic at 16, bulemic/anorexic at 17 and started to level out at 18 with the help of a girlfriend.

As a result, I had low test levels at 18/19 years old, even after being on a nice diet and working out for 6 months. My thyroid is slow now. I will require HRT before I am 30.

The positive? You can change it, I am no moster but look at me now. That pic is a year old, I have a solid 10+ muscle added sense then and maintain a lower body fat as well. Best part? I still game a ton, have a wonderful attractive gf and go to school.

I didnt read your ENTIRE post so I am not sure if any of this helped but its always nice to see someone who was in a similer position as yourself who managed to change it.

If you dont want to change it, just start eating a little more. If you want to be a gamer all day long 24/7 hell its your life an if it makes you happy go for it, but seriously make some time to eat some food. When your inside your whole life gaming how much is your weight going to matter? Just dont get fat.

[ErikTheElectric]

Well oddly enough my circumstance was nearly identical to yours but stimmed from depression. Age 15-18 gamed alot, was obese at 15, anorexic at 16, bulemic/anorexic at 17 and started to level out at 18 with the help of a girlfriend.

As a result, I had low test levels at 18/19 years old, even after being on a nice diet and working out for 6 months. My thyroid is slow now. I will require HRT before I am 30.

The positive? You can change it, I am no moster but look at me now. That pic is a year old, I have a solid 10+ muscle added sense then and maintain a lower body fat as well. Best part? I still game a ton, have a wonderful attractive gf and go to school.

I didnt read your ENTIRE post so I am not sure if any of this helped but its always nice to see someone who was in a similer position as yourself who managed to change it.

If you dont want to change it, just start eating a little more. If you want to be a gamer all day long 24/7 hell its your life an if it makes you happy go for it, but seriously make some time to eat some food. When your inside your whole life gaming how much is your weight going to matter? Just dont get fat.

I plan on starting HRT soon... You have to do it for 10 years? is it painful? How often do you have to do it? Shots/gels? WHat's it like bro? How much better or worse do you feel since starting it?

[Chazster]

Yes, I'm Korean.

Figured based on what you said. 안녕하세요 점심 드셨어요
Anyway my gf is from Seoul and I have been there and know the stories of the deaths in internet cafes and such. You really need to be more careful. Don't marathon game like that and if you do bring food and drinks. Like everyone else said you should see a doctor.

[release]

Are you still 100lbs? You kept using past tense like this happened in the past.
If you are, start eating more, seek help.

[boyofmisery]

Are you still 100lbs? You kept using past tense like this happened in the past.
If you are, start eating more, seek help.

These were my weight these years:

Are you still 100lbs? You kept using past tense like this happened in the past.
If you are, start eating more, seek help.

These were my weight these years:

-14 to 14.5 y/o: 45-70 kg (varied between/the lowest when the start of the timeline, the highest when the end of the timeline)
-14.5 to 15 y/o: 55-60 kg
-15 to 15.5 y/o: 45-50 kg
-15.5 to 16 y/o: 55-60 kg
-16 to 16.5 y/o: 50-55 kg
-16.5 to 17 y/o: 65-70 kg
-17 to 17.5 y/o: 60-65 kg
-17.5 to 18 y/o: 55-60 kg
-18 to 18.5 y/o: 50-55 kg
-18.5 to 19 y/o: 60-65 kg
-19 till now: 65-70 kg

[tomasbird]

50h straight gaming? Wow, at my most addict gaming times I went like max 10h and I felt crazy afterwards hehe. But I always found time to eat, or have some food/drink beside me.

Seeking doctor is crucial at your point. Then you can come here and talk with some people that suffered anorexia before.

[MikeyH83]

Please listen to these guys... Go to the Doctor ASAP. If your body is not healthy enough to start exercising it will do a lot of harm. Being that weight/height... he/she may even want to start you on a specific diet/workout regimen in order for you to regain strength and a little fat reserves before you go nuts.

[AdamWW]

It seems you have already answered your own question: Go - To - A - DOCTOR

We could only surmise what might be wrong...

However, and I could be wrong, it might be the case that these gamer junkies took amphetamines, etc, to stay awake which might have caused the heart problems.. but again that's an assumption you shouldn't make in lieu of Medical attention.

Where are you living that has such poor medical care?

I know what it feels like to be underweight and faint-feeling. When I was 18 I went from 190lbs (very chubby really) down to 125lbs in 6 months.

There were days where all I could do was sleep and browse the internet I was so weak. The thing you need to know is that when you are ALREADY thin, undereating is not the same as when you have some excess fat on you. Your organs aren't working right, your heart isn't pumping correctly, etc.

I would get up from laying down and feel like I was going to fall over. Now, I get heart palps from time to time that freak me out, and I have reflux issues... and personally I feel like my weight loss caused many of them.

You need to go to a doctor JUST to be safe if nothing else. I consider myself lucky because I am a bit of a hypochondriac, so I go to the doctor probably more than I need to, but I feel better knowing im safe. It's an investment worth making.

They will probably have their own list of tests to do.. but I would recommend at least:

Blood Pressure (Should do anyways)
CBC (Complete BLood Count)
EKG (electrocardiogram)
Electrolytes
Vitamin D
Cholesterol/Lipid panel (why not?)
Thyroid
B12 Level

That's just a minimum based on your condition...

If your heart is troubling you still, ask to be referred to a cardiologist or go yourself. You might want to get:

EKG (measures the electrical conductivity of your heart/pulse)
Echocardiogram (sonogram of your heart - identifies structure)
Holter or Event Monitor (can identify isolated or chronic issues of the heart rhythm)
Stress Test (identifies issues with exercise-related heart activity)

[boyofmisery]

50h straight gaming? Wow, at my most addict gaming times I went like max 10h and I felt crazy afterwards hehe. But I always found time to eat, or have some food/drink beside me.

Seeking doctor is crucial at your point. Then you can come here and talk with some people that suffered anorexia before.

I didn't eat cuz I used the money my parents gave me to buy foods to buy more bills instead.

Yes, I'm sure I'd reached 50 hours straight a couple of times. I'd even reached 3 days straight once, if I'm not mistaken, cuz it was very foggy back then. I even fainted for the first time in my life on the way home.

I remember there were (was) times when I was 15, the first time I got an eating disorder, where some parts of my skin turned yellow, my arm bones became flexible (seriously, I can literally flex it like 25% rubber 75% bones), my body hair became fragile (when I swiped it, it fell off), my heart pounded really heart, my dick and balls "disappeared", etc.

Seriously, guys, do you all really think that being 100 lbs for a 5'8 guy would've eaten some of my core organs? Cuz, these organs aren't supposed to regrow.

Nobody has ever heard about the after-recovery health of 100lbs/5'8 (or so~) people?

[FitnessCPA]

GO TO THE FCKING DOCTOR.

I suggest nobody else try to answer any of the OP's questions.

The more people try to answer his questions, the less likely he is to go where he truly NEEDS TO GO: A DOCTOR.

[ErikTheElectric]

Starting to think OP is trolling. He posts OVER and OVER Again in this thread and in the ED thread, yet refuses to get help.


mind = blown

[boyofmisery]

Please, let me ask you more..

It seems you have already answered your own question: Go - To - A - DOCTOR

We could only surmise what might be wrong...

However, and I could be wrong, it might be the case that these gamer junkies took amphetamines, etc, to stay awake which might have caused the heart problems.. but again that's an assumption you shouldn't make in lieu of Medical attention.

Where are you living that has such poor medical care?

I know what it feels like to be underweight and faint-feeling. When I was 18 I went from 190lbs (very chubby really) down to 125lbs in 6 months.

There were days where all I could do was sleep and browse the internet I was so weak. The thing you need to know is that when you are ALREADY thin, undereating is not the same as when you have some excess fat on you. Your organs aren't working right, your heart isn't pumping correctly, etc.

I would get up from laying down and feel like I was going to fall over. Now, I get heart palps from time to time that freak me out, and I have reflux issues... and personally I feel like my weight loss caused many of them.

You need to go to a doctor JUST to be safe if nothing else. I consider myself lucky because I am a bit of a hypochondriac, so I go to the doctor probably more than I need to, but I feel better knowing im safe. It's an investment worth making.

They will probably have their own list of tests to do.. but I would recommend at least:

Blood Pressure (Should do anyways)
CBC (Complete BLood Count)
EKG (electrocardiogram)
Electrolytes
Vitamin D
Cholesterol/Lipid panel (why not?)
Thyroid
B12 Level

That's just a minimum based on your condition...

If your heart is troubling you still, ask to be referred to a cardiologist or go yourself. You might want to get:

EKG (measures the electrical conductivity of your heart/pulse)
Echocardiogram (sonogram of your heart - identifies structure)
Holter or Event Monitor (can identify isolated or chronic issues of the heart rhythm)
Stress Test (identifies issues with exercise-related heart activity)

1. I've never consumed any kind of drugs. I've never smoked either, maybe once, when I was about to try it.

2. Do you think I had reached the point where my body had converted energy from ungrowable organs (no fat/muscle left)? 100 lbs-5'8?

3. What do you mean by heart palps and reflux issues?

4. My family never goes to doctor

5. How much do those tests cost in your place? USA, isn't it? And do the tests include the test for testosterone level?

[boyofmisery]

Starting to think OP is trolling. He posts OVER and OVER Again in this thread and in the ED thread, yet refuses to get help.


mind = blown

I got no money, fck.. I think I've mentioned it somewhere here..

[FitnessCPA]

I got no money, fck.. I think I've mentioned it somewhere here..

Do you have parents or guardians? Tell them what you're telling us. Tell them you NEED to see a doctor.

[ErikTheElectric]

Do you have parents or guardians? Tell them what you're telling us. Tell them you NEED to see a doctor.

^^^ This.

Where do you even live OP?

[boyofmisery]

Do you have parents or guardians? Tell them what you're telling us. Tell them you NEED to see a doctor.

My parents, if they cared, they wouldn't even let me past through all of this.

I want to tell them, but currently my brothers are a thinner than me. That makes my parents think that they are less healthy than me. If I do that, I will be capped as an egoistic elder.

[FitnessCPA]

My parents, if they cared, they wouldn't even let me past through all of this.

I want to tell them, but currently my brothers are a thinner than me. That makes my parents think that they are less healthy than me. If I do that, I will be capped as an egoistic elder.

The issue is not just weight, though. It's all the other problems you listed.

But, I give up. You obviously don't want to help yourself if you won't even tell someone who could help you.

If you don't feel comfortable telling your parents, tell another adult in a position of authority. But not telling anyone and trying to self-diagnose on a bodybuilding forum is NOT the answer. You need to see a doctor.

[AdamWW]

Please, let me ask you more..



1. I've never consumed any kind of drugs. I've never smoked either, maybe once, when I was about to try it.

2. Do you think I had reached the point where my body had converted energy from ungrowable organs (no fat/muscle left)? 100 lbs-5'8?

3. What do you mean by heart palps and reflux issues?

4. My family never goes to doctor

5. How much do those tests cost in your place? USA, isn't it? And do the tests include the test for testosterone level?

1. That wasn't my point.. my point was that the stories you heard about people dying could have been caused by or related to that.

2. I have no idea.. probably not.

3. What do I mean? Heart palps = sensations of irregular, fast, or powerful bearts, etc. Reflux = Acid Reflux

4. Not an excuse unless you literally can't afford it.

5. Depends if you have insurance and what kind.

And I seriously doubt your parents would brush it off unless they're complete jerks.

If you have a kid, wouldn't YOU want to know if they were this sick????

[bears54y2]

Why don't you just..start eating? It's really not that hard...