suicide

**VDBman87** · 07-06-2003, 11:46 PM

i just.. i know im only fifteen but all my life i've lived meeting people who are so much better looking, so much funnier, so much stronger faster, braver, and it completely destroys my self esteem. all i can think about is working out and weightlifting which i haven't done yet because i can't get the equiptment. i hate living in this puny little white boy body. i sometimes cant even see my options and i get very very suicidal.. i hate my mother and my step dad. the way they treat me. i don't knw if i can stop from hurting myself. i try to get my ego up but i just keep falling down worse. i don't know what to do. i just can't compete with all these cool people and don't say i shouldn't compete with them because i think i'm a little crazy in the head and i'm just the most insecure person in the world. im 120 pounds and even the tiny bit of fat i have drives me crazy. all i used to do was beg my parents for workout equiptment but after them finally saying yes and not doing it made me insane. i know they are kind of dumb reasons for suicide but if i could want something so little and not get it made me feel like life won't give me what i want to be happy . if things don't improve very soon im going to kill myself

**TricepsNGirls** · 07-06-2003, 11:52 PM

VDBman87, stay strong.

I've been through this all my life, and its been especially worse in my 3 yrs of middle school. Popularity is something you have to fight. Its the strong who make it out through this and be successful. Do the things you love, but keep your act together. You have a whole bright future to look foward to. Take a stand for what you believe- get that weight set, no matter what. My parents bitch at me day after day, take away all my ****, and yell at me about lifting, but i just keep plowing through it. Fight off your insecurity. Build up your inner strength. No ones opinion matters over your own. Find some good people, make friends with them. It doesnt matter if they are "cool" or not, just don't pick up bad friends. Find a girl that will care about you. Display yourself as strong, and you WILL be strong. You only have one chance at life. There are always hard times, but suicide is not an option. You are going to be strong and pull yourself through this.

take care

**686** · 07-06-2003, 11:53 PM

way too much to look forward to in ur life my friend if ur only 15.

**highpower1111** · 07-07-2003, 12:00 AM

Man, we've all been down that road at one time or another. You gotta just find something you like out of life, and i know you got something. You just gotta search, and once you find it, when the times get hard, focus on it. I dont know if you're religious or not but i am, and suicide is not the answer. You kill yourself and you're gonna end up in a place 10 times worse. Hang in there man.

pm me if you wanna talk about this more

**Rugnyman** · 07-07-2003, 12:01 AM

Sounds like Arnold Swhatzaneggar's story, he didnt want to commit suicide, but he had similar circumstances to you, look at what he turned out to be!

**AzBadass** · 07-07-2003, 12:03 AM

Suicide is for pussies.

**squatter101** · 07-07-2003, 12:07 AM

stfu and lift!

**highpower1111** · 07-07-2003, 12:08 AM

Originally posted by AzBadass
Suicide is for pussies.

thats not helping man.....

i dunno if he really is suicidal or wheater he just wants attention, but either way... you dont haev to say that man

**highpower1111** · 07-07-2003, 12:10 AM

There are other answers for your bbing, do pushups and situps. Go find a spot at a playground or something and do some chinups too, and for cardio just go jogging man.

**Canuck Builder** · 07-07-2003, 12:14 AM

don't know if you are being serious or not, but if you are go see a doctor immediately. I was in a situation very similar to yours not more than six months ago and going to see a doctor was the best thing i ever did. He put me on a medication (celexa) that helped me feel better, with out turning me into one of those doped up zombies. Plus gave reference to a counselor. If you are for real go to your doctor.

**AzBadass** · 07-07-2003, 12:16 AM

Originally posted by highpower1111
thats not helping man.....

i dunno if he really is suicidal or wheater he just wants attention, but either way... you dont haev to say that man

I'm just telling it like it is man. Anybody who commits suicide is proving that they aren't strong enough to endure, and are in effect letting those that ridicule them win.

**highpower1111** · 07-07-2003, 12:26 AM

actually that is a good point.... my bad

**hilltop55** · 07-07-2003, 12:42 AM

VDBman87

iv been on the exact same road as u.before i started bodybuilding i was 280lbs of pure 100%fat at age 15.middle school for me was hell.i always saw other guys stronger and i was the only one without a girl.i too have had suicide problems at 15,in fact i almost shot myself with my fathers gun.i hated being called fatass everyday by other students because it just lead to more pain so for my summer vacation i decide to spend "everyday"in the weight room because it was the only place that didnt give me more pain and it was the only place that i belonged.Now im gonna be 17 in a month and im 215lbs with about 9%body fat and all the guys who made fun of me are not even half the man i am today in fact ones even dead.let me tell u something man u will rise above all of them one of these days and u will have the last laugh,and the last laugh feels sooooo damn good.u gotta stay strong and hang in there,trust me u will make it and amount higher than everyone else.
take care

**squatter101** · 07-07-2003, 12:54 AM

Originally posted by hilltop55
VDBman87

iv been on the exact same road as u.before i started bodybuilding i was 280lbs of pure 100%fat at age 15.middle school for me was hell.i always saw other guys stronger and i was the only one without a girl.i too have had suicide problems at 15,in fact i almost shot myself with my fathers gun.i hated being called fatass everyday by other students because it just lead to more pain so for my summer vacation i decide to spend "everyday"in the weight room because it was the only place that didnt give me more pain and it was the only place that i belonged.Now im gonna be 17 in a month and im 215lbs with about 9%body fat and all the guys who made fun of me are not even half the man i am today in fact ones even dead.let me tell u something man u will rise above all of them one of these days and u will have the last laugh,and the last laugh feels sooooo damn good.u gotta stay strong and hang in there,trust me u will make it and amount higher than everyone else.
take care

those stats are impossible. there must have been some serious steroids inputs. if not youre a lyer.

**AzBadass** · 07-07-2003, 12:57 AM

Originally posted by squatter101
those stats are impossible. there must have been some serious steroids inputs. if not youre a lyer.

How is cutting for 2 years impossible?

**hilltop55** · 07-07-2003, 01:05 AM

orignally posted by squatter101

those stats are impossible. there must have been some serious steroids inputs. if not youre a lyer.

sorry bro,but it all real and all natural,ive worked my ass of for over 2 years now and i will keep on doing it until ill drop dead,u sound a bit jealous

**squatter101** · 07-07-2003, 01:05 AM

Originally posted by AzBadass
How is cutting for 2 years impossible?

youre an idiot. from what he said he got from zero strenght (100% fat he said) to 215lbs of pure muscle in 2 years. you can't cut and bulk at the same time. and those gains are too highs.

**hilltop55** · 07-07-2003, 01:09 AM

when i said 100% fat i didnt say 100% bodyfat.i said that cause i used to be a lard ass.dont u ever say what i am and am not,ive been through **** that would make u cry,im finished aruging with u,so stop now

**squatter101** · 07-07-2003, 01:15 AM

Originally posted by hilltop55

sorry bro,but it all real and all natural,ive worked my ass of for over 2 years now and i will keep on doing it until ill drop dead,u sound a bit jealous [/B]

of course i am not. and that because your stats are NOT true.

**squatter101** · 07-07-2003, 01:18 AM

when i said 100% fat i didnt say 100% bodyfat.i said that cause i used to be a lard ass.dont u ever say what i am and am not,ive been through **** that would make u cry,im finished aruging with u,so stop now

IF YOU DON'T MEAN SH*T THEN DON'T SAY SH*T YOU SON OF A BITCH. fat ass retard.

**AzBadass** · 07-07-2003, 01:21 AM

WTF is so unbelievable about 280lbs with high bf% to 215 9% bf in 2 years?

**squatter101** · 07-07-2003, 01:29 AM

Originally posted by AzBadass
WTF is so unbelievable about 280lbs with high bf% to 215 9% bf in 2 years?

i didn't say that. but the guy can't spell sh*t.

**WickedMind** · 07-07-2003, 05:17 AM

Originally posted by squatter101
i didn't say that. but the guy can't spell sh*t.

and we all hate people that cant spell good.....

**BIGABOY** · 07-07-2003, 05:34 AM

last summer I went from 230lbs most likly around 25 % b/f and down to 190, 15% b/f or around there, I belive AzBadass thats good that he got like, and Squatter101 not all people cut and bulk

BIGABOY

**GFresh** · 07-07-2003, 06:56 AM

Originally posted by AzBadass
Suicide is for pussies.

ive read several posts from you in the past 60 seconds that contain nothing but stupid comments. how about you pull your head out of your ass and shut the **** up.

vdb, suicide isnt the answer. keep nagging at your parents to buy you equipment, if that doesnt work the get a job of somekind (if your too young to get a job in a shop or something, then just go around and wash peoples cars for a few quid a go.. the money soon builds up) and buy the equipment yourself. with �20 or so you can buy some decent dumbbells, and start off with those. like TricepsNGirls said, make good friends, it doesnt matter if they are considered 'cool' by other people, if you like them and they like you then thats all that matters. dont listen to negative comments - people who make them often do it so they can feel better about themselves, and are not worth bothering with.

stay strong

**mivi320** · 07-07-2003, 08:02 AM

VDBman87,
Hey Bro, Hang in there...Look, You're 15 and these are your years as a teen..How many times do you get to live as a teenager in your life? Once. So make the best of it man! Stay Strong and you'll be okay..I know you'll be okay.

**Ironman1536** · 07-07-2003, 08:42 AM

Hey,

Find Jesus! You'll go through life with that emptiness that nothing can fullfill not your friends looks or possesions, what youve accomplished or any thing, and the only thing that can fulfill that emptiness is JESUS!!!

Whenever i find myself depressed i just start start praying, and i always pray for happiness and joy everyday, god will here your prayers and as your faithful to him he'll be faithfull too you. Let me know if you want to know more about devloping your self as a christian.

**Zen_Lifter** · 07-07-2003, 09:06 AM

Originally posted by squatter101
i didn't say that. but the guy can't spell sh*t.

so now your mad at him because he cant spell? lol, I could of sworn your where pissed off at him for saying he lost bodyfat...which we all know is impossible, lol......make up your mind.

**MoGeaYuglay** · 07-07-2003, 09:28 AM

Originally posted by Ironman1536
Hey,

Find Jesus! You'll go through life with that emptiness that nothing can fullfill not your friends looks or possesions, what youve accomplished or any thing, and the only thing that can fulfill that emptiness is JESUS!!!

Whenever i find myself depressed i just start start praying, and i always pray for happiness and joy everyday, god will here your prayers and as your faithful to him he'll be faithfull too you. Let me know if you want to know more about devloping your self as a christian.

Amen brother.

**Alexxx** · 07-07-2003, 11:02 AM

Oh and let me add to this. Medication is usually not the answer either. (Someone suggested it). Working out has been the best depression cure for me.

I used to feel down all the time, got pushed around by kids, bullied, did bad at school because of my lack of self esteem, and felt sorry for myself most of the time. I spent a lot of time on my computer and learned a few languages and learned design in photoshop, etc. I was 12 hehe. Anyway, I became friends with a guy that was really athletic because we started playing a game together online and I was really good at it, so he thought I was cool.

He was mildly built but only from all the hockey he played, etc. He showed me the gym that was located near his house to where his family had a membership to. I really liked it and decided to join. We started working out together, but I worked out much more seriously than him. Also, he would do much more cardio than freeweights.

Anyway, after that summer was over, I'd gained about 40lbs of muscle and no one wanted to pick on me anymore.

The next school year I came back with another 40lb gain. I was the king hehe. Biggest/strongest in my grade and bigger/stronger than 99% of the upper grade. Now I'm in highschool (15 years old), have an 88% average, play rugby, have the confidence to do anything, and feel great overall.

Also, about your parents: Endure their taunts/punishments/whatever and just laugh at them inside. Think about how much better you are and how good your life will be once you move out on your own. Endluge their ignorancy.

Oh and another thing: Get a job. Try as hard as you can and when you're applying have a big smile on your face and talk a lot. Also work your hardest, and soon you'll be able to afford a weight set. Keep working (and don't forget about your school work) and by the end of highschool you'll be able to afford a nice university (maybe even with a scholarship) and a nice car. You'll also be built as hell hehe.

Trust me, your life WILL get better if you don't give up.

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