Miscellaneous supplement discussions (supps from bb.com) 2.0

[poison]

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.
He asks, "What are you doing?"

She answers, "I'm moving to Nevada. I heard prostitutes there get paid
$400 for doing what I do for you for free."
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and
sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's
going, he replies..."I'm coming, too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year".

-----

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Polish Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I
get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The Polish opened his lunch and said, " Bologna and brewed coffee again! If I get a bologna sandwich and this cold brewed coffee one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his
lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The
Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. Finally, the Polish
guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and brewed coffee and jumped to his death as well.

At the fu neral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known
how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have
given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could
have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos
so much.."

Everyone turned and stared at the Polish guy's wife. The Pole's wife goes,
"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch"

-----

[poison]

3 men got lost in a jungle they came upon a tribe of wild people. the tribe captured the 3 lost men and told them that if the 3 split up and got 10 fruits each, they were free. big tribe warriors went with them so they would not run away. what the 3 lost men didnt know was that the fruits they bring back would have to be shoved where the sun doesn't shine and they only get 1 try nothing can spill out or else they would be killed and eaten.

The first guy comes back wit bananas! He puts 1 in...and then he gives up in pain. he is put into the pot. a little while later the second person comes back with small berries luckily...he starts...1...2...3..4...5...6...7...8...9..he is almost there! he then bursts into laughter and all the berries come out. he is then throw into a pot with the first lost person. the first lost person asked him why he laughed, the guy said he looked into the distance and saw the third guy coming back with pineapples.

-----

A guy was driving around the back woods of Tennessee and sees a sign in
front of an old shanty-style farmhouse: "Talking Dog for Sale"

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a well-groomed, handsome Golden Retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Golden replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So,
what's your story?"

The Golden looks up and says, "Well, I discovered I could talk when I was
pretty young. I wanted to serve my country, so I contacted the CIA. They had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services- The United States Marine Corps... you know, because one of their nicknames is "The Devil Dogs".

In no time at all the Marines had me jetting from country to country,
sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be a security threat or would eavesdrop.

I was one of their most valuable sources of key information for eight
years running, but the traveling tired me out and I knew I wasn't getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down.

I retired from the Marine Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and got a
good part-time job at the airport to do some undercover security work,
wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered significant dealings that were unlawful.

At the end, I was awarded a batch of medals from the Marine Corps, the
CIA, and TSA. Got married, fathered a bunch of puppies, and now I'm retired, just enjoying life in the country."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the farmer says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that crap. He was in the
Navy...

[Diesel0022]

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.
He asks, "What are you doing?"

She answers, "I'm moving to Nevada. I heard prostitutes there get paid
$400 for doing what I do for you for free."
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and
sees her husband packing his suitcase. When she asks him where he's
going, he replies..."I'm coming, too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year".

-----

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Polish Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I
get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The Polish opened his lunch and said, " Bologna and brewed coffee again! If I get a bologna sandwich and this cold brewed coffee one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his
lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The
Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. Finally, the Polish
guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and brewed coffee and jumped to his death as well.

At the fu neral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known
how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have
given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could
have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos
so much.."

Everyone turned and stared at the Polish guy's wife. The Pole's wife goes,
"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch"

-----

Those are great lol

[dbone1026]

Happy Friday (and for me, Payday!) guys. Since I love all of you with all my heart, I want to give every goodbro (aka, "the clique") an opportunity to try Friction, if you haven't already.

If you're in the continental US & want to try it, tell me a funny joke or post a funny picture ITT & PM me your deets [or just PM me your deets]. I will be happy to ship you a couple same packs

Alright, not looking to try Friction, but figured I couldn't pass up an opportunity to throw out a bad joke (for the US guys only!!!):

How do we know the Indians were here first?

...

...

...

They had reservations!!!

[|ceman]

Well, I would say I found the culprit...



Found this loose connection in the outlet that was making static sounds. Clipped, cut back the insulation, re-fastened, all systems are good.

The extra outlet in the living room was a piece of cake. Scary punching a hole in the wall, but I was able to run the insulated wiring up through the basement ceiling no problem.

That'll do it. I came across some pretty wild stuff like that when I did residential work. Some of these houses were like a month or two away from burning down. Glad you found it and got it fixed.

Happy Friday (and for me, Payday!) guys. Since I love all of you with all my heart, I want to give every goodbro (aka, "the clique") an opportunity to try Friction, if you haven't already.

If you're in the continental US & want to try it, tell me a funny joke or post a funny picture ITT & PM me your deets [or just PM me your deets]. I will be happy to ship you a couple same packs

Is is graham cracker flavored? If not, do not want.jpg

[poison]

A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic and very difficult. Think of the enormous challenges of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will exhaust several natural resources of the entire planet. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your selfish desire for such a thing.

"Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The biker thought about it for a long time.

Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make her as a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"

-----

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around
Lowe's when they collide.

The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that, I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for
my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does
your wife look like?"

The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, with blonde
hair, blue eyes, long legs, big bewbs, and she's wearing tight white
shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"

The old guy says, "It doesn't matter... let's look for yours."

[VPX_Sports]

Is is graham cracker flavored? If not, do not want.jpg

No

[Massicio]

lmao poison's jokes are so much win.

[poison]

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.

He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little jerk. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron.

"He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that cue ball he measures everything first!"

-----

A guy says, "Doc, I think I've got a sex problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore."
The doctor says, "Come back tomorrow and bring her with you."
The next day, the guy shows up with his wife.
The doctor says to the wife, "Take off your clothes and lie on the table."
She does it, and the doctor walks around the table a few times looking her up and down.
He pulls the guy to the side and says, "You're fine. She doesn't give me a hard-on, either."

-----


A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be told,
he is not too experienced either.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her
husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring.

"My darring" he says, "I know dis yo firss time and you berry frighten.
I pomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want.

What chou want?" he says, trying to sound experienced and hoping to
impress his virgin bride.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) !
for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure,

"I want to try somethin I have heard about... numbaa 69".

More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a
puzzled tone he queries...
























"You want... Chicken wiff broccori?"

[justfive]

rofl

[Diesel0022]

rofl

get off the floor and act your age

[BigBoLuke93]

These jokes just made my day

[justfive]

get off the floor and act your age

no. "US only this" "US only that".... I can do whatever I want

I am going to pig out on icecream on the floor







(I am mad)

[poison]

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang.

It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition in the ICU. The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple more holes before heading to the hospital.

He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round, shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant. Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty, he raced to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted, 'You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out enjoying yourself at the country club, your wife has been suffering in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will likely be your last! She will require 'round the clock care and unless you can afford three shifts of nurses for the rest of her life, you'll be her care giver!'

The man was feeling so distraught he broke down and sobbed. The doctor snickered and said, 'Just messing with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?

-----

Three mice are sitting around a spool of thread, playing cards and talking themselves up.

Mouse 1: "..Oh yeah, well I'm so badass that when I see a mousetrap, I take out the cheese, eat it, and then I do curls with the bar!!"

Mouse 2: "Damn!! That is bad!"

Mouse 3 says nothing.



Mouse 2: "Well, I got one better.. That rat poison that they put out to kill us? Well, I've been putting in my coffee every morning and I've developed a tolerance! Now I just mainline into my vein!!"

Mouse 1: "Wow, really?! That is pretty hardcore my friend!"

Mouse 3 says nothing.



So the two bragging mice turn to their friend and wait for his claim to badassery.

Mouse 3 promptly gets up and begins to walk away.

















Mouse 3: "I'm gonna go **** the cat"

-----

A priest is sitting in the confessional booth when he realizes that he really has to take a crap. He toughs it out for a few more confessions but then realizes that he can't hold it any longer. As the long time janitor, who was sweeping the sanctuary, walked by, the priest pokes out and says, "Hey, Bill, can you do confession while I go to the bathroom, please?"

The janitor says, "Father, I don't know how to do that. And I'm not ordained."

The priest says, "I don't care. I really gotta go. Just give like three 'Our Fathers' for lying, two "Hail Marys' for taking the Lord's name in vain, and...give a rosary for looking at porn. That's all you're gonna hear anyway. Now I gotta go NOW!" He dashes out, and so the janitor has no choice but to go into the booth.

Like the priest said, the next few people had the normal confessions...and few people swore, a couple had told some white lies, so forth and so on. Then a young guy sat down and said, "Forgive me, Father, I have sinned. I have committed sodomy."

The priest hadn't covered something like this, so the janitor was confused. Suddenly, an altar boy walks by, so the janitor calls him over and asks, "What does Father O' Brian usually give for sodomy?"

The altar boy thinks for a minute, then says, "Usually I get two Kit Kats, a Reese's Cup, and a bag of Sour Patch Kids."

-----

A ****phile and a small boy are walking into the woods at night, the boy says "I'm scared" and takes the ****philes hand. The **** says "You're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."

-----

What's the meanest thing you can do to a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet.

-----

What didn't Steve Irwin wear sunblock?
He found it didn't protect him from harmful rays

[Diesel0022]

no. "US only this" "US only that".... I can do whatever I want

I am going to pig out on icecream on the floor

(I am mad)

You can haz

[justfive]

You can haz

glee is on next

[Diesel0022]

glee is on next

What time is it by you lol

[poison]

5 hours later than pst?

[justfive]

What time is it by you lol

3.45PM

chances are anything at this time is a rerun, but it will do just fine to soothe my emotional turmoil

[Diesel0022]

5 hours later than pst?

5 hours later than EST

3.45PM

chances are anything at this time is a rerun, but it will do just fine to soothe my emotional turmoil

10:47am here, record it for me

[justfive]

5 hours later than EST



10:47am here, record it for me

all I have is a ****ty iphone camera. none of them tevo gadgets ovur hurr in my place. its the devils work

never watched more than 5 minutes before... this might be a life changer

[Diesel0022]

Bah, I am disappoint

[justfive]

**** it... my emotional turmoil is over. I cant finish this episode ;[but I would do dirty... dirty things to that Santana girl

[Massicio]

**** it... my emotional turmoil is over. I cant finish this episode ;[but I would do dirty... dirty things to that Santana girl

lmao

[ERGOGENIX]

[but I would do dirty... dirty things to that Santana girl

Would smush both blondes. At the same time!

[Corey_Ellis]

**** it... my emotional turmoil is over. I cant finish this episode ;[but I would do dirty... dirty things to that Santana girl

[justfive]

Would smush both blondes. At the same time!

agree with ErgoMan

lately I have had a thing for them latinas though

fml

[kr1kit]

Any Aesop Rock fans around?

[ERGOGENIX]

agree with ErgoMan

[justfive]

feels so illegal...