How important is physical attraction?

[themyth2009]

Cool, you daughters cute!

lolz do you like this daughter better?????

[SP1966]

lolz do you like this daughter better?????

You traded the cute one for one shorter then you! Well done!

[themyth2009]

You traded the cute one for one shorter then you! Well done!

What you insulting my daughter now...how about this one?

[SP1966]

What you insulting my daughter now...how about this one?

You can keep posting these all day long, my reply will always be, it ain't half bad!

Hows it work in Brazil, you have to pay their bar fine?

[themyth2009]

You can keep posting these all day long, my reply will always be, it ain't half bad!

Hows it work in Brazil, you have to pay their bar fine?

I dont know that pic is venezuela ...

[Karl_Hungus]

I said yes, it is possible to maintain a relationship even if that part may not be as strong as it was
in the beginning..he disagreed and said that if that element is missing then the relationship is
ultimately doomed...
thoughts on this?

I'd say your friend is generalizing to others based on his own egocentric world view ... as are many in this thread. For some people, physical attraction is of primary importance, whereas for others, it isn't very important at all. I agree with you that a relationship can be just as strong when the physical attraction fades. Relationships evolve and change, and what is important at one point, may not be important at all years down the road.

[SP1966]

I dont know that pic is venezuela ...

Well, did you pay her bar fine?

[themyth2009]

Well, did you pay her bar fine?

Nope her name is Cristi want her address, blackberry pin, phone, email and ******** page?

[SP1966]

Nope her name is Cristi want her address, blackberry pin, phone, email and ******** page?

Nah, can't afford the one I got.

I was wrong, your avi is well beyond half bad at this point! LOL

[themyth2009]

Nah, can't afford the one I got.

I was wrong, your avi is well beyond half bad at this point! LOL

I think you and your ghey style prefer it.

[crupiea]

of course i am human but i am willing to overlook a heck of alot for someone with a few traits.

#1 is a good personality. if she has a good personality then that makes up for alot. By good personality that means she has to not be crazy and have a good head on her shoulders with a good sense of humor. outgoing, easy and fun to actually talk to. she should actually provide something to the conversation, not just wait for me to do all the work.

Also something that is overlooked nowadays is being a good cook. its the old tried true method that the fastest way to a mans heart is through his stomach.

If a woman doesnt cook then in my eyes she is severly handicapping herself.

Now if she has a good personality and cooks then she can be as big and ugly as she likes and i will be all over her.

Of course if all else fails then a cheap barfine will work as well.

[gray73]

When me and my current wife got together she was an exercise fanatic. She watched what she ate and worked out religiously. She was a genuine hottie.
She had my youngest child two years ago and since then has been on a steady decline. She has gotten quite big. She no longer works out, she eats junk food and is not active much at all to be honest. She is always complaining about her weight and is very self-conscience about it.
I still find her attractive. Not nearly as much as I used to though, but I still love her very much.
I work out at home. I have a weight room in my basement and I work out five days a week. She still has her equipment (treadmill, jump ropes, balls, dumbbells, etc.) but they are all tucked away neatly in a closet and hasn't been touched in over two years. I have hinted to her that she should get back on the wagon, but it seems to be going over her head. I don't know how to tell her how I feel without hurting her. She has asked me many times if I still find her attractive and I tell her the truth. I still do. I just don't know how to tell her she is dangerously close to the point that I won't anymore.
Any suggestions?

[Big_Sky_Guy]

I like a nice book cover, but i'd rather turn it's pages 1,000 times until it's tattered and torn and got my finger prints all over it!

My wife decided several years ago that she was going to "enjoy" every stage of her life...not that she doesn't eat right and bust her arse to stay in shape, but that she will not be embarrassed by what's left...that is straight sexy!

[Nalu]

When I was younger I put a lot of stock in it, but I learned that superficial looks fade and then you are stuck with what's underneath. If you don't like that person, then what are you stuck with? As I got older I figured out that personality, quit wit, good sense of humor, kind heart and commonalities mean far more.

You are not your partner's keeper. Be responsible for your own health and fitness. Sometimes it's better to lead by example than bitching and moaning. Help if they ask, but also remember why you married that person, what it was that you loved about them that made you want to marry them in the first place. If it was looks based, boy are you in trouble if they gain weight, lose hair, etc.

You constantly impress me DM!
Also, looks and sexual attraction can be two different things...(hard to grasp for some)

For the folks that rely only on looks.. good luck kiddos because the clock is ticking and sometimes genetics just doesn't care.

[LisaSkinnoble]

When me and my current wife got together she was an exercise fanatic. She watched what she ate and worked out religiously. She was a genuine hottie.
She had my youngest child two years ago and since then has been on a steady decline. She has gotten quite big. She no longer works out, she eats junk food and is not active much at all to be honest. She is always complaining about her weight and is very self-conscience about it.
I still find her attractive. Not nearly as much as I used to though, but I still love her very much.
I work out at home. I have a weight room in my basement and I work out five days a week. She still has her equipment (treadmill, jump ropes, balls, dumbbells, etc.) but they are all tucked away neatly in a closet and hasn't been touched in over two years. I have hinted to her that she should get back on the wagon, but it seems to be going over her head. I don't know how to tell her how I feel without hurting her. She has asked me many times if I still find her attractive and I tell her the truth. I still do. I just don't know how to tell her she is dangerously close to the point that I won't anymore.
Any suggestions?

Be honest, but Lord, be gentle. Sometimes life gets in the way. Perhaps she's swamped and overwhelmed looking after the family. But if you offer to help out and take on some of her chores to leave her time to workout, that might help. And really throw in a lot of "I love you"s. Maybe something like, "I know how you always loved to work out. How about I handle the Terrible Two, and you go take an hour to yourself in the gym, then another hour to yourself reading in a nice hot bath?"

As wives and mothers, if someone frees up an hour of our time, we are inclined to houseclean or something, rather than treat ourselves. She may feel that working out is too self-indulgent. I know it is not, but some don't know that.

Good luck. Look after your wee one, clean a bathroom, and free up the wifey's time for a bit.

Edit: And buy her some nice lavender-scented bath salts to sweeten the deal.

[SP1966]

Good luck. Look after your wee one, clean a bathroom, and free up the wifey's time for a bit.

Damn its hard to understand you when you're speaking Canadian!

[LisaSkinnoble]

Damn its hard to understand you when you're speaking Canadian!

Ha ha ha ha ha! Almost spit beer on my laptop!

Have you ever known me to miss the opportunity to tell a man to clean a bathroom for his mother or wife?

[gray73]

Be honest, but Lord, be gentle. Sometimes life gets in the way. Perhaps she's swamped and overwhelmed looking after the family. But if you offer to help out and take on some of her chores to leave her time to workout, that might help. And really throw in a lot of "I love you"s. Maybe something like, "I know how you always loved to work out. How about I handle the Terrible Two, and you go take an hour to yourself in the gym, then another hour to yourself reading in a nice hot bath?"

As wives and mothers, if someone frees up an hour of our time, we are inclined to houseclean or something, rather than treat ourselves. She may feel that working out is too self-indulgent. I know it is not, but some don't know that.

Good luck. Look after your wee one, clean a bathroom, and free up the wifey's time for a bit.

Thanks, Lisa. I do quite a bit around the house, but so does she. I should do more.
My biggest fear is hurting her. I do love her and thank God for her every day, so hurting her on such a personal level would be the last thing I'd want to do.
Thanks for the suggestions.

[SP1966]

Ha ha ha ha ha! Almost spit beer on my laptop!

Have you ever known me to miss the opportunity to tell a man to clean a bathroom for his mother or wife?

I kinda get what you're saying here. Yet it still all sounds like blah blah blah blah blah.... to me!

[LisaSkinnoble]

I kinda get what you're saying here. Yet it still all sounds like blah blah blah blah blah.... to me!

Bad boy.
















PS: I had to say to Flex, "How do you do the angry face?" srs.

[SP1966]

Bad boy.

PS: I had to say to Flex, "How do you do the angry face?" srs.

I was actually thinking more along the lines of the teacher in Peanuts cartoons, rather then blah blah blah.

[LisaSkinnoble]

I was actually thinking more along the lines of the teacher in Peanuts cartoons, rather then blah blah blah.

Kinda like the drive-thru speaker on the ancient Saturday Night Live with John Belushi, "Wha,wha, wha, wha, wha, wha..."

Cheeseburger. Pepsi.

[Frnkd]

I like your avi, Mr Myth! That's nice.

Intersting that you mention that Lisa......how metaphorical.....so does ones avi, than make you want to persue to know more about that person.....read his/her post, go to the profile, or even PM a compliment?..... or rep him/her........hmmmmmmmm

[Simpy]

Physical attraction was far more important to me in my youth than it is now. Now I find that my attraction is governed more by my brain than it is by my eyes. After 18 years together, I still find my husband to be very attractive, but he definitely doesn't look like he used to. Sometimes I get a bit shallow and think, "Damn, I miss his 6 pack abs and hair!" But to be honest, he's so damned funny and easy to be with . . . and that's a HUGE turn on.

On the other hand, I really don't know how I would take it if he ballooned up and got WalMart fat. I promised to love and honor him til death do us part, and barring some terrible thing like infidelity or abuse on his part, I would do that. But I won't lie, I think it would be difficult to get all sexually geared up for a 350 lb man. But as much as I love sex, I love the laughing we do, the stories we tell, the way he holds my hand in the car and kisses my forehead when I come home from work a lot more.

[themyth2009]

Intersting that you mention that Lisa......how metaphorical.....so does ones avi, than make you want to persue to know more about that person.....read his/her post, go to the profile, or even PM a compliment?..... or rep him/her........hmmmmmmmm

Lolz I am going to guess hell fcking no on this one.....

[LisaSkinnoble]

Intersting that you mention that Lisa......how metaphorical.....so does ones avi, than make you want to persue to know more about that person.....read his/her post, go to the profile, or even PM a compliment?..... or rep him/her........hmmmmmmmm

Hey, hey, hey. Dead serious here. I am Mrs Flexy. No one's avi, and I mean no one's avi, makes me go to their profile or PM them. You need to understand that. If I knew how to make it in huge bold font, I would. Mrs Flexy.

If I say someone has a nice avi, it's because it's nice. Not because I am interested in them. I tell plenty of women they have a nice avi too. And I rep those gals. And if you notice, Mr Myth's avi, was not of himself alone, but with a lovely young lady. That's why I found it nice.

Jiminy Crickets! I told Bodyhard that his shoes are great. I've told Ms Simpy that she looks like Shania Twain. I think Kimm4 is gorgeous, and I'm sure I've told her so. I've met Discdoggie IRL and told her she's gorgeous and looks like Farrah Fawcett. I've had nverstopworking (Wayne) in my kitchen and told him that he is handsome and a nice lad. And I am completely genuine in those remarks, but that doesn't mean I'm e-stalking them or even thinking of putting the moves on them.

You got that straight??


Now, speaking of nvrstopworking, he's way overdue for a steak here.

[dbx]

To me it's very important, but I also think the more feelings and respect you have for someone, the more attractive they become.

So yes it 'opens the door' as you said, but there must be more to it than that to keep things going.

Imo, it is part of the prerequisit overall package.
All parts of the package must be maintained for me to consider entering a relationship.
If 1 is neglected for a considerable amount of time after the relationship has been established then that is grounds for deal breaking.

Depends on what's important to you. Stephen Hawking's been married, more than once.

Yes.. but i do realize that as time goes by, neither of us are going to be able to look exactly the same.

I don't judge a book by it's cover....just sayin

Beauties only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the fukin bone.

All of these ^^^^^^^^^^^


Trying to figure out what makes relationships work for everyone - Priceless.

[itsagoodday]

What is attractive to me is totally dependent on personality. A physically attractive 'hot' person with an ugly personality is an ugly person. Period.

[Brackneyc]

Hey, hey, hey. Dead serious here. I am Mrs Flexy. No one's avi, and I mean no one's avi, makes me go to their profile or PM them. You need to understand that. If I knew how to make it in huge bold font, I would. Mrs Flexy.

If I say someone has a nice avi, it's because it's nice. Not because I am interested in them. I tell plenty of women they have a nice avi too. And I rep those gals. And if you notice, Mr Myth's avi, was not of himself alone, but with a lovely young lady. That's why I found it nice.

Jiminy Crickets! I told Bodyhard that his shoes are great. I've told Ms Simpy that she looks like Shania Twain. I think Kimm4 is gorgeous, and I'm sure I've told her so. I've met Discdoggie IRL and told her she's gorgeous and looks like Farrah Fawcett. I've had nverstopworking (Wayne) in my kitchen and told him that he is handsome and a nice lad. And I am completely genuine in those remarks, but that doesn't mean I'm e-stalking them or even thinking of putting the moves on them.

You got that straight??


Now, speaking of nvrstopworking, he's way overdue for a steak here.

What are you trying say here^^.

[itsagoodday]

I work out at home. I have a weight room in my basement and I work out five days a week. She still has her equipment (treadmill, jump ropes, balls, dumbbells, etc.) but they are all tucked away neatly in a closet and hasn't been touched in over two years.

Just a thought, but have you tried offering her a gym membership instead of a 'honey, your stuff is still in the closet' approach? Much though I loathe group classes and things like zumba, they do seem to appeal to a heck of a lot of women. Perhaps if she found something like that fun, well, it's a start! You also don't mention if she is home a lot (stay at home mom), but she might really welcome a chance to get out of the house.