Talk me down - Food addiction

[astigos]

I've been cutting for about 4 months and started at 206 pounds. I am at my physical peak at 22 years old and 174lbs and have more confidence and self respect than I ever have in my entire life. I've been eating incredibly clean, counting calories/macros, doing IF, and lifting heavy. I've been reading these forums for weeks spending at least 2 hours every day reading since finding these forums, so I do know what I'm doing (just to get that out of the way).

I'm going to a family gathering this Saturday, and as I am a chef, I made chocolate truffles for the party. As I was making them I could not resist but popping one in my mouth. One becomes two. Two becomes five. Five becomes seventeen. I always do my best to fit them into my macros but it's especially hard to count them when they're homemade.

As I stared at these delicious morsels, they stared back at me. They gazed deeply into my soul. They beckoned the fat child in me back to the surface. I have never felt so powerless in my life. Like an alcoholic or druggie, one is never truly cured of their addiction are they? They are simply addicts that are extremely good at living without their habit. Is that what it's like in life after my complete body transformation? I get that I can fit cake and pie into my macros, but one or even three slices will never be enough. There's always going to be the part of me that wants to scarf down a whole box of oreos like I used to. It's the comfort, the act, the taste, the inner peace with which food brings that I'm probably addicted.

My name is Mike, and I am addicted to food. It's probably why I decided to become a chef in the first place. I don't know if I could say I have an eating disorder but would feel like I would benefit from an alcoholics anonymous for food addiction.

I just wanted to share my lowest point in my entire cut which happened a few days ago. The daily struggles seem increasingly insurmountable as I get closer to my final goal (160lbs), and the final goal seems to grow ever more distant.

Are you an addict? How do you cope knowing that the things you can never again do the things you used to do which brought you so much joy? I just want to hear stories from others about similar topics. I have no one else in my life that is supportive of my transformation so I'm at a loss to vent steam.

***In before:***
Martin Berkhan's cheesecake
"Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels"
"Fit it in your macros"

[FrankyOnions]

I've been cutting for about 4 months and started at 206 pounds. I am at my physical peak at 22 years old and 174lbs and have more confidence and self respect than I ever have in my entire life. I've been eating incredibly clean, counting calories/macros, doing IF, and lifting heavy. I've been reading these forums for weeks spending at least 2 hours every day reading since finding these forums, so I do know what I'm doing (just to get that out of the way).

I'm going to a family gathering this Saturday, and as I am a chef, I made chocolate truffles for the party. As I was making them I could not resist but popping one in my mouth. One becomes two. Two becomes five. Five becomes seventeen. I always do my best to fit them into my macros but it's especially hard to count them when they're homemade.

As I stared at these delicious morsels, they stared back at me. They gazed deeply into my soul. They beckoned the fat child in me back to the surface. I have never felt so powerless in my life. Like an alcoholic or druggie, one is never truly cured of their addiction are they? They are simply addicts that are extremely good at living without their habit. Is that what it's like in life after my complete body transformation? I get that I can fit cake and pie into my macros, but one or even three slices will never be enough. There's always going to be the part of me that wants to scarf down a whole box of oreos like I used to. It's the comfort, the act, the taste, the inner peace with which food brings that I'm probably addicted.

My name is Mike, and I am addicted to food. It's probably why I decided to become a chef in the first place. I don't know if I could say I have an eating disorder but would feel like I would benefit from an alcoholics anonymous for food addiction.

I just wanted to share my lowest point in my entire cut which happened a few days ago. The daily struggles seem increasingly insurmountable as I get closer to my final goal (160lbs), and the final goal seems to grow ever more distant.

Are you an addict? How do you cope knowing that the things you can never again do the things you used to do which brought you so much joy? I just want to hear stories from others about similar topics. I have no one else in my life that is supportive of my transformation so I'm at a loss to vent steam.

***In before:***
Martin Berkhan's cheesecake
"Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels"
"Fit it in your macros"

I know that feel bro. I'm not anywhere close to my goals but there are times when I just want completely devour every carbohydrate laden food in my kitchen. When that happens you have to be able to recognize what is happening and just walk out. Its really fukking hard, I know. Just stop for one second and REALLY think about what you are about to do. Don't talk yourself into it, just leave the kitchen!!!

[kvidmar]

food addict working as a chef

like drug addict selling drugs, change careers

[yellow_ninja]

I cant have junk food in the house for the same reason. Sooner or later, probably in the middle of the night when the baby wont go to sleep and Im frustrated I will eat it.

[ademyster]

I so know how you feel, once I get a taste of a trigger food im in trouble! It does not seem to matter how hungry or full I am I still go on an epic carb binge. Saying that I have dropped 35 pounds, so if you keep it under control you can still hit 160 pounds. Good luck, Repped for motivation.

[Renskol]

Personally, I love food and I'd go out of my way to consume any type of food. What I done to consume less "junk" is just overall management and discipline. As having a big family (so what?) I'm offered all kind's of desserts, chocolate, foods etc but I decline it all and think about the end product (of my body) more than what can make you feel happy temporarily in a sense. So far I've lost 72lbs in 10 Months and still have enjoyed having treats, thing's my family made but I still say to myself before consuming it "Are you really hungry or do you just crave on the food?"

My solution? Drink water and chew on sugar-free gum to fill up that craving. Personally that's how I eliminate the feeling of my personal "food addiction".

GL OP

[AvsFreak]

Totally feel for ya bro. I think that is why my progress last summer sucked so much. During the week, when at work I was fine. Always busy, no time to worry about food. But every weekend there was a party for this, a barbecue for that, etc. I would go in with the idea that I was going to stick to my calories for the day and end up going way over. I really can walk right by the chips and dip with no problem, but when it comes to baked goods and chocolate, watch out. I would tell myself, I will just have one cookie. Yeah right! It's like Frank the Tank with cookies. "ONCE IT HITS YOUR LIPS!!! IT'S SO GOOD! JUST ONE MORE!"

I fluctuated between 209 and 225 all year. Even bought a Bodybugg thinking that I was undereating (was probably eating about 1800 a day during the week) So I started eating 2700 calories a day, which according to the BB was 900 below my daily average burned. Same story, scale didn't move, no noticeable change in the mirror. Very depressing.

Finally in November I decided to try a mini bulk with the use of my BB. Ate 3000 calories for 3 weeks and the rest of November and December, 3500. Now according to the BB, my average daily burn with work and exercise was 3600. Some days at work I even hit 4100, so I figured I would be fine. Well after December was over, I was 235 and my 36" pants didn't fit anymore. Needless to say, I don't use that damned thing anymore.

Long story short (too late) As of Jan 20th, I decided that I was going to cut until July 1st, with the only cheat day being my wife's birthday. I just had to go back to how I lost the majority of my weight in the first place. No eating at parties and sticking to my calorie goal. I haven't gone over my calorie limit in 4 weeks and have lost 20 pounds since I started (again). I hope within the next 2 months, to be under 200 pounds for the first time in 19 years.

Thanks for posting this thread. It helped me vent a little to someone other than family who, even though they mean well, think I am at a perfect weight already even though I am nowhere near where I want to be. I really feel a renewed dedication to my goal.

I basically wasted a whole year and I don't intend on doing it again.

[astigos]

Totally feel for ya bro. I think that is why my progress last summer sucked so much. During the week, when at work I was fine. Always busy, no time to worry about food. But every weekend there was a party for this, a barbecue for that, etc. I would go in with the idea that I was going to stick to my calories for the day and end up going way over. I really can walk right by the chips and dip with no problem, but when it comes to baked goods and chocolate, watch out. I would tell myself, I will just have one cookie. Yeah right! It's like Frank the Tank with cookies. "ONCE IT HITS YOUR LIPS!!! IT'S SO GOOD! JUST ONE MORE!"

I fluctuated between 209 and 225 all year. Even bought a Bodybugg thinking that I was undereating (was probably eating about 1800 a day during the week) So I started eating 2700 calories a day, which according to the BB was 900 below my daily average burned. Same story, scale didn't move, no noticeable change in the mirror. Very depressing.

Finally in November I decided to try a mini bulk with the use of my BB. Ate 3000 calories for 3 weeks and the rest of November and December, 3500. Now according to the BB, my average daily burn with work and exercise was 3600. Some days at work I even hit 4100, so I figured I would be fine. Well after December was over, I was 235 and my 36" pants didn't fit anymore. Needless to say, I don't use that damned thing anymore.

Long story short (too late) As of Jan 20th, I decided that I was going to cut until July 1st, with the only cheat day being my wife's birthday. I just had to go back to how I lost the majority of my weight in the first place. No eating at parties and sticking to my calorie goal. I haven't gone over my calorie limit in 4 weeks and have lost 20 pounds since I started (again). I hope within the next 2 months, to be under 200 pounds for the first time in 19 years.

Thanks for posting this thread. It helped me vent a little to someone other than family who, even though they mean well, think I am at a perfect weight already even though I am nowhere near where I want to be. I really feel a renewed dedication to my goal.

I basically wasted a whole year and I don't intend on doing it again.

I hate talking to family about my weight. They just tell me I'm fine as I am currently, which is completely discouraging and unsupportive. And all of them are unhealthy and ignorant so their words are useless to me. I have one uncle who has lost something like 30 pounds on a really stupid plant based diet and doing a decent amount of cardio. If he talks to be about how much weight he lost I'm just gonna walk away because he's dumb and is losing a crap load of muscle.

I just have to never eat my trigger foods. I can't just fit them in my macros because they're just gonna start cravings for the days afterward. There can be no more cheating. It would be easier to live the cutting lifestyle and simply try and forget that my trigger foods even exist. If I want sweets it's going to have to be cottage cheese with a spoonful of sugar free jam or sugar free pudding made with protein.

Thanks to everyone for your responses. Rep.

[chaz1072]

You have a 'stig' in your name... you should be a race car driver or something... YES.. change careers :P...
On a more serious note thou.. you are absolutely fine.. Eat as much as you want.. suppressing your cravings will only make you feel worse

[BloodySalad]

I could easily go back to a lifestyle of sugar and sweet, sweet loveliness but there comes a time when you just have to bite the bullet and close the door. I do let in a little chink of light every now and again but never leave the door wide open.
Letting that little chink of light in is what keeps me sane. If I couldn't cheat when I wanted to, what's the point in living? You've just gotta learn when and how to cheat properly, dude.

[xcrossmyheartx]

I've been cutting for about 4 months and started at 206 pounds. I am at my physical peak at 22 years old and 174lbs and have more confidence and self respect than I ever have in my entire life. I've been eating incredibly clean, counting calories/macros, doing IF, and lifting heavy. I've been reading these forums for weeks spending at least 2 hours every day reading since finding these forums, so I do know what I'm doing (just to get that out of the way).

I'm going to a family gathering this Saturday, and as I am a chef, I made chocolate truffles for the party. As I was making them I could not resist but popping one in my mouth. One becomes two. Two becomes five. Five becomes seventeen. I always do my best to fit them into my macros but it's especially hard to count them when they're homemade.

As I stared at these delicious morsels, they stared back at me. They gazed deeply into my soul. They beckoned the fat child in me back to the surface. I have never felt so powerless in my life. Like an alcoholic or druggie, one is never truly cured of their addiction are they? They are simply addicts that are extremely good at living without their habit. Is that what it's like in life after my complete body transformation? I get that I can fit cake and pie into my macros, but one or even three slices will never be enough. There's always going to be the part of me that wants to scarf down a whole box of oreos like I used to. It's the comfort, the act, the taste, the inner peace with which food brings that I'm probably addicted.

My name is Mike, and I am addicted to food. It's probably why I decided to become a chef in the first place. I don't know if I could say I have an eating disorder but would feel like I would benefit from an alcoholics anonymous for food addiction.

I just wanted to share my lowest point in my entire cut which happened a few days ago. The daily struggles seem increasingly insurmountable as I get closer to my final goal (160lbs), and the final goal seems to grow ever more distant.

Are you an addict? How do you cope knowing that the things you can never again do the things you used to do which brought you so much joy? I just want to hear stories from others about similar topics. I have no one else in my life that is supportive of my transformation so I'm at a loss to vent steam.

***In before:***
Martin Berkhan's cheesecake
"Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels"
"Fit it in your macros"

I can completely understand your frustration. I have a similar addiction - fast food. No matter how full I am, or how much I've eaten, I always feel like I won't be satisfied until I scarf down something from a fast food place (and in turn, have a perpetual stomach ache, diarrhea, etc.) It's hard for me to shake it, and I've went weeks without it before and sometimes twice a day for a week straight. **** sucks.

[ryalex]

Yes, and it might be worthwhile for you to see a therapist a few times, and perhaps attend a group (I think it's "OA"). It might help you recognize the source of your addiction and the patterns that you exhibit, so that you can activate new patterns and actions to take when tempted.

For example, I identified one of my base fears as a fear of scarcity - I would gobble up anything sweet or delicious around the house (usually ice cream, cookies, etc) out of a fear that I wouldn't get any more. From a turbulent childhood with a single mom/divorce situation where food shopping was inconsistent (or, so it seemed to me as a kid). Although we never starved, new food wasn't reliable but I recognized that as a grown man with a professional career, things weren't as erratic, and I could force myself to think about moderation. I can afford food.

Then, for triggers, and I realized that current stress lead me to eat heavy and sugar carbs like there was no tomorrow in order to feel the pleasure hormones, however fleeting. Once I started vegetable juice fasting, it broke some of the main connection to that and allowed me to calmly see what I was doing.

[gpo613]

I feel your pain. There have been many weeks that I woke up on a Monday morning to weigh myself only to find that my weight jumped up 4-5lbs. I usually don't feel that bad as I can drop it in the matter of 2-4 days during the week. I too struggle with family get togethers. My family is out of state so I am with my wife's family. They are pretty much boring people and when I am over there I get bored and just start to eat everything in sight. My mother-in-law always has a ton of food around. Between the chocolate and sweets and the freaking pantry is loaded, which is crazy since there are only two people in the house.

I do great at work. I spent the holidays walking past junk almost everyday. But I am a grazer. I eat when I am bored and once I get started it is hard to stop. I do think it is something I will have to deal with everyday for the rest of my life. I have lost weight numerous times and I am talking about big amounts. I have dropped over 50lbs at least 5 different times. I think this time it will stick. I have so much more knowledge these days. I have realized some small changes can can mean big time differences in total calories. As long as I am on a program I am good.

I am hoping to get small enough that the feeling of being bloated comes much quicker with much less calories. We had my daughter's family bday party over the weekend. I did well most of the day until the end. I started eating and did not stop quick enough. I got that bloated feeling, but I do think it did come quicker on less food than compared to the past.

[astigos]

To those telling me to change careers: it's not that simple. One cannot simply just change careers. Not that it's even a problem really. Red meats, buttery sauces, mac and cheese are not my triggers anyhow. Moreover being surrounded by all that good food and surrounded by people who are sloppily out of shape and eating that food is extremely motivating to me. I can sit next to people eating bacon wrapped filet mignon, lobster, french fries and mac and cheese just fine because in my head I can easily remind myself how much better I look than that person. I cannot do that with pastries, which I never work with at my job.

Cheating properly seems to be the path to salvation, and to cheat properly I think triggers need to be completely off limits. There's no way to fit that stuff in my life. The food is manageable, but the cravings are not.

[AvsFreak]

I think triggers need to be completely off limits. There's no way to fit that stuff in my life. The food is manageable, but the cravings are not.

I think that is the perfect description for those types of foods. Trigger foods. I have some cookies in my cabinet for my daughter. If I don't eat any, I'm fine. If I eat one and tell myself I can fit it in my macros, I will just eat the whole box.

[gwem32170191]

Oh dude, how I sympathize.

Sweets seem to be your trigger, for me it's hamburgers. I'm like fcuking Wimpy from Popeye.

You have to develop more mental toughness if you want to beat this. Yep, it sucks not feeling satisfied by just one or two cookies, so you either have to deal with that, force yourself to be satisfied and form a healthier habit to replace your old one. Or don't eat them at all.

[BloodySalad]

Way I see it, you've got to beat those trigger foods. If you don't, you're just storing up trouble for later down the line and you'll end up like White Goodman. It's not easy but it can be done.
Try buying a pack of something you love to eat. Eat one or two and then throw the rest away. You might have to do something disgusting to the remainder so that you're not tempted to fish it out of the trash and eat it. Do that for a few weeks. Eventually, you should be able to just put the pack in the cupboard rather than into the bin.

Those bad foods are always going to be there. Rather than tiptoeing around them in fear, meet the bastards head-on and make them your biatches.

[dmacdonal9]

Keeping a detailed food log helps me. If I know I have to log it, I'm way less likely to eat it, because I am highly motivated by numbers. Seeing right on the screen that I missed my deficit target by 300 calories is like a kick in the nuts and I will go to great lengths to avoid that.

[Beatletown]

Don't worry about it. it's life **** happens. You are in good shape and 175 is a good weight for our height. Do you not think 160 is a little on the light side?

I don't see the point in becoming obsessed with diet to the extent of feeling miserable when we fall of. So what. It's done. Enjoy it.

[joyce261]

I feel exactly the same way about sweets. When i used to diet, i used to look forward to my cheat day so i could eat half a sheet cake with the sugary icing on it that most people hate. Yes i know that sounds disgusting but i love sugar.

This time around, i've finally realized i just cannot eat stuff like that. There's no way to build it in as a "cheat" because i can easily eat 3000 calories' worth and not even feel sick. So last night...i needed a "cheat." I contemplated buying these meringues that are only about 700 calories for the entire box, but deep down i knew i'd probably eat the whole box, which is a disgusting amount of sugar. So instead i bought sugar free ice cream. I know ice cream isn't a trigger food for me. I still ate a large amount...400 calories' worth...but nowhere near the damage i would have done with a trigger food.

[Photostic]

Yep. I am definitely a food addict. The only way that I can consistently lose weight is if I change my perspective of food from a tasty treat to a fuel source. Every so often, I will buy a 39-pack of oreos and tell myself that I'll fit it in my macros, but they end up being eaten within an hour. I can put them on the shelf initially, after eating the first 3.... but then, a couple minutes later, I go back for another 3... and then I just say fugg it and eat the whole thing. It's not possible to have those trigger foods within eye sight.

I've often dreamed of a high-tech refrigerator that would only open at certain times and dispense the correct quantities. I've even gone as far as locking up the pantry with a bicycle chain and giving my girlfriend the key. Then when she would go to sleep, I would sneak into the bedroom and find the key and binge. That's addiction, folks!

And food is the toughest addiction to beat because you HAVE to eat. I love to drink, but could never get addicted. I go months without drinking sometimes. Used to smoke a cig or two while drinking. Could never get addicted because I could easily just quit. You can't quit eating. So we try to do what's closest, and quit eating trigger foods. Mentally separating clean and dirty foods is the only way I've found to beat food addiction. ( IIFYMs will rage here)

[pobski]

Man you're so far ahead of where most people are with this. You've identified your triggers and know what you have to do to avoid falling off the wagon.

I read somewhere that willpower only works if you believe in willpower.

If you really want to feel like a boss, eat one truffle and then no others. Some people say if you brush your teeth right after eating something like that, it cleanses the craving out of your mouth.

Nice work so far though man!

[DAames]

I know that feeling all too well. Over Christmas break, I started cheating a bit here and there at relative's parties and the like. Towards mid-January I couldn't go two days without relapsing and downing multiple pints of Ben & Jerry's, whole pizzas, etc. I gained 15 pounds in two months and felt like complete ass. Eventually, I just looked in the mirror and realized what I was doing to myself. I looked like crap, I was bloated, and my acne started flaring up again. I've gotten it under control now by keeping myself as busy as possible. When I get cravings, I'll go play a video game, watch a movie, or do something to get my mind off it. It is all mental, though. Just keep trying, OP. Don't do what I did and set yourself back so far, it isn't worth it for a few minutes of indulgence.

[astigos]

Oh dude, how I sympathize.

Sweets seem to be your trigger, for me it's hamburgers. I'm like fcuking Wimpy from Popeye.

You have to develop more mental toughness if you want to beat this. Yep, it sucks not feeling satisfied by just one or two cookies, so you either have to deal with that, force yourself to be satisfied and form a healthier habit to replace your old one. Or don't eat them at all.

I think this is key. Replacing a bad habit with a good one. I've set my sights on getting addicted to cottage cheese with a tbsp of sugar free jam and 4 strawberries. Delicious. And berry season is coming soon so now I won't have to pay through the nose for berries.

Don't worry about it. it's life **** happens. You are in good shape and 175 is a good weight for our height. Do you not think 160 is a little on the light side?

I don't see the point in becoming obsessed with diet to the extent of feeling miserable when we fall of. So what. It's done. Enjoy it.

I completely recognize that I look good right now at ~175, but the six pack isn't there. I just want to reach a decent six pack then I'm going to recomp/maintain for the entire summer.

Man you're so far ahead of where most people are with this. You've identified your triggers and know what you have to do to avoid falling off the wagon.

I read somewhere that willpower only works if you believe in willpower.

If you really want to feel like a boss, eat one truffle and then no others. Some people say if you brush your teeth right after eating something like that, it cleanses the craving out of your mouth.

Nice work so far though man!

I can't just have one in an effort to become stronger. Would you say that to a heroin addict?
I very much like that idea of brushing right after slipping though. I'm definitely going to start doing that.

[gpo613]

OP, I just in the last few days started with cottage cheese. I used to think it was gross. But I put some in a bowl and then add no sugar added mandrin oranges you get in a little cup(40 cal) juice and all. Makes for a nice little snack and doesn't taste half bad. Decent protein in the cottage cheese.

[loseitall90210]

How do you cope knowing that the things you can never again do the things you used to do which brought you so much joy? I just want to hear stories from others about similar topics. I have no one else in my life that is supportive of my transformation so I'm at a loss to vent steam.

Hey there,
Personally I don't think about it. I gave all that stuff up a while back kinda, so I never had to worry about it. Cakes, soda, pizza, many fattening foods are kind of a turn off to me and they dont' taste good to me anymore since I'm equate them with death. Also, HBP, diabetes, and cancer run in my family, so it's actually what I should be doing.

It's hard to cope knowing, that as hard as I work, that If I dont' change, it can all be cut short. I feel quite happy guarding off these terrible diseases. Hell, it's hard to cope , walking down the street with my shirt off and not having women want to rub their hands all over my abs. That's my coping issues. One thing I do know for sure, I've gathered a lot of wisdom from older people. Like a fly on a wall, I always eavesdrop when I hear old people talking. All the stuff that happened to them in life, all of this and that, and this crap..and so and so and this job, and their boss...blah..blah..etc...ALL of them think the same exact thing, and that is 'If I only had my health' they say. They care about NOTHING else. They're letting me know this is what I GOTTA be doing. I have a great opportunity to turn things abound and basically I'm going to take it.

In my mind, it's meet this GOAL or DIE!!!!!!!!!!! F-THAT!

I can't WAIT to start doing ALL the things that are going to bring me SO much more joy. i'm thikning about my first photoshoot today and what it will be like. I think the fact that all these problems pop up when we start eating this crap is a testament that they were never really truly meant to be ingested on a normal basis. SLightly almost not even on a fairly irregular basis.

[astigos]

OP, I just in the last few days started with cottage cheese. I used to think it was gross. But I put some in a bowl and then add no sugar added mandrin oranges you get in a little cup(40 cal) juice and all. Makes for a nice little snack and doesn't taste half bad. Decent protein in the cottage cheese.

Cottage cheese is a god send. I highly recommend getting some sugar free jam and throw in 1 tbsp per serving of CC, it's by far the best way to make CC stomachable and indeed tasty. Sometimes I'll buy the cottage cheese that already has pineapple in it and it's delcious, throw a few strawberries in it and I almost feel guilty like it tastes too good to be good for me. And cottage cheese can be thrown in a blender with oats, egg whites and protein powder to make protein pancake batter.

[whr1985]

Food making me feel good got me into this mess to begin with!

[kevi204]

Totally know you feel man.

-Every month or so i end up bingeing. Mainly on my trigger foods, anything made by Reeses, lol.
-Actually did so 2 days ago due to boredom (+5000 cals) which actually wasn't too bad considering past binges.
-Now it bothers me some, but not too much because the binge only lasts for 1 day, it never carries over to the next day/week for me, so i'm usually back where i started a week later.
-I really don't know whats worse, the Day after the binge (depression) or having to deal with the "want" all day when trying to control yourself from cheating/bingeing. I usually always give in after about an hour once my trigger foods enter my mind.
-

[viper318]

I can really empathize with you. My trigger was at the beginning of January when I decided to go get taco bell as a treat. Well this turned into a regular occurrence and it got to the point where I was binging a few times a month and literally eating until the stomach pain was too much to withstand and I had to stop. The problem was I just never felt full, only the stomach pain which may be fullness which had become a foreign feeling because all I knew prior was hunger from losing weight. I read through this thread and boy can I relate. You tell yourself you will cheat in moderation but then the cravings continue and before you know it you are driving around at 1 a.m. hitting up different McDonalds drive-thrus because you are too embarrassed to go through again at the same one. (my particular incident) For me it took a couple trips to the emergency from an inflamed gallbladder (that was from an abnormally high fat intake a.k.a. binging) to set me straight.

I think the problem is we work so hard and limit ourselves so much that we just develop this unhealthy relationship with food that can really be compared to someone with a drug addiction as we expose our self to small amounts of our "drug" which subsequently lead to embarrassing incidents of poor self-discipline and all out binges.

Good luck OP and really to everyone that is experiencing similar problems.