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  1. #1
    Squats Barefoot hardestgainer's Avatar
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    Alright be honest, am I overreacting or not?

    So been dating my gf for 2 years now, she has wanted to go to england for awhile now and I was saving up money to go with, already got my passport and stuff. We were gonna try and go late this summer, and her bday is next month. I had planned taking her on a weekend trip, told her about it thoughand she was excited.....Her mom tells her no theyve already got plans for her and I need to cnacel. So I ask what it is to her mom and she just says "I need you to be supportive of this youll find out later". Next day her best friend who is stationed in england right now cuz her husband in the airforce calls me, tells me she bought her a ticket to go to england for her birthday even though she knew we were gonna go together since we had never gone. She strtaight up tells me she didnt want me to go thats why she didnt tell me about it, still wanted to go and told me not to buy a ticket.

    Back story: My gfs family and friends cannot stand me because they are the type of "lower class" that hate people that they think are rich. Im from a middle/upper class family so they never gave me a chance. They tried the first 6 months to break us up and have her get back with her ex. Her ex was mentally abusive(no WK his next gf email my gf through facebook and told her about it) and friends didnt care, they picked her ex over her and stopped talking to her except like once every 3 or 4 months.

    So I feel like this was done on purpose to ruin our trip we were planning on having, they just told my gf today about the bday plans and she was really excited. A little part of me felt like I died, because she seemed like she couldnt care less about me not getting to go. So I told her I was a little upset, she didnt give a chit, told me I was just trying to ruin this for her and how I was LYING about what her friend and mom said to me. Jonestly she has never stood up for me with her friends and family and I almost left her over it, but her friends basically abandoned her so I left it at that. Her friends are starting to come back and I seem to have fallen far on the list of priorities.

    Cliffs:
    Friends and family hatre me cuz they are poor and I am not.
    friends have attacked me for 2 years and gf has never stood up for me
    planning trip to europe with gf since neither of us have gone
    family and friends pitch in to buy her a ticket to go without me
    gf thinks im lying about them admitting to me they did this on purpose
    gf has now tried turning this on me like im the bad guy
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  2. #2
    Registered User KingJbomb's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by hardestgainer View Post
    So been dating my gf for 2 years now, she has wanted to go to england for awhile now and I was saving up money to go with, already got my passport and stuff. We were gonna try and go late this summer, and her bday is next month. I had planned taking her on a weekend trip, told her about it thoughand she was excited.....Her mom tells her no theyve already got plans for her and I need to cnacel. So I ask what it is to her mom and she just says "I need you to be supportive of this youll find out later". Next day her best friend who is stationed in england right now cuz her husband in the airforce calls me, tells me she bought her a ticket to go to england for her birthday even though she knew we were gonna go together since we had never gone. She strtaight up tells me she didnt want me to go thats why she didnt tell me about it, still wanted to go and told me not to buy a ticket.

    Back story: My gfs family and friends cannot stand me because they are the type of "lower class" that hate people that they think are rich. Im from a middle/upper class family so they never gave me a chance. They tried the first 6 months to break us up and have her get back with her ex. Her ex was mentally abusive(no WK his next gf email my gf through facebook and told her about it) and friends didnt care, they picked her ex over her and stopped talking to her except like once every 3 or 4 months.

    So I feel like this was done on purpose to ruin our trip we were planning on having, they just told my gf today about the bday plans and she was really excited. A little part of me felt like I died, because she seemed like she couldnt care less about me not getting to go. So I told her I was a little upset, she didnt give a chit, told me I was just trying to ruin this for her and how I was LYING about what her friend and mom said to me. Jonestly she has never stood up for me with her friends and family and I almost left her over it, but her friends basically abandoned her so I left it at that. Her friends are starting to come back and I seem to have fallen far on the list of priorities.

    Cliffs:
    Friends and family hatre me cuz they are poor and I am not.
    friends have attacked me for 2 years and gf has never stood up for me
    planning trip to europe with gf since neither of us have gone
    family and friends pitch in to buy her a ticket to go without me
    gf thinks im lying about them admitting to me they did this on purpose
    gf has now tried turning this on me like im the bad guy
    Next.
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  3. #3
    Registered User NOMIEZVR4's Avatar
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    Too much drama, too many strings attached, pull out. Start Clean. Be Happy.

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  4. #4
    Squats Barefoot hardestgainer's Avatar
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    Ya well when her friends dont get involved everything is great, she just doesnt seem to be able to put the two together. All of her friends are either divorced single moms now or just with total losers because all they do is act immature and drink(age 28-30) go out to clubs and dance with people. They have no respect for guys they are with. Unfortunately it seems to rub off on my gf whenever she is around them, which isnt too often. But it looks like they are trying to get back into her life to screw **** up

    Also 2 years is a lot to just throw away, Ive made a lot of sacrifices with this relationship
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  5. #5
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    Serious answer: Idk man, seems like the kind of thing only you will know what to do.

    For the lols: Break up with her. She will go back to her ex. Then within 3 months she will be back at your door begging for you to take her back. Close door
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  6. #6
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    Originally Posted by hardestgainer View Post
    Ya well when her friends dont get involved everything is great, she just doesnt seem to be able to put the two together. All of her friends are either divorced single moms now or just with total losers because all they do is act immature and drink(age 28-30) go out to clubs and dance with people. They have no respect for guys they are with. Unfortunately it seems to rub off on my gf whenever she is around them, which isnt too often. But it looks like they are trying to get back into her life to screw **** up

    Also 2 years is a lot to just throw away, Ive made a lot of sacrifices with this relationship
    What are you asking for? You didnt even really say what your reaction was or what the deal is. Your the only one that knows the answer. But saying you've already made alot of sacrifices in 2 years isnt a good thing. Things like this aren't magically going to go away one day, and her friends arent magically gonna be different people. And no, 2 years isnt that long of a time to be honest. And her parents aren't going to magically start liking you. So.. With that in mind do what you wanna do, suck it up and deal with things like this, or take your losses and move on.
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  7. #7
    Registered User Boffothe's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by hardestgainer View Post
    Ya well when her friends dont get involved everything is great, she just doesnt seem to be able to put the two together. All of her friends are either divorced single moms now or just with total losers because all they do is act immature and drink(age 28-30) go out to clubs and dance with people. They have no respect for guys they are with. Unfortunately it seems to rub off on my gf whenever she is around them, which isnt too often. But it looks like they are trying to get back into her life to screw **** up

    Also 2 years is a lot to just throw away, Ive made a lot of sacrifices with this relationship
    what do you want us to tell you? your girlfriend is weak and unsupportive, you're in a pool of drama, but you're not going to break up with her. you deserve all of the drama and heartache you get.
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  8. #8
    Registered User goodthings's Avatar
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    you have made a lot of sacrifices and you are getting this sh!t? stop making the f cucking sacrifices you stupid boy, she is treating you like the b1tch!

    back off, spend less time with her, f u ck her friends off, if she chooses them over you, so be it, you sound like you have gone overboard on her, also, her friends seem pretty skanky, why does she hang out with them??? becasue she identifies with them.
    get rid of her is my answer but you dont have any options do you?
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  9. #9
    Squats Barefoot hardestgainer's Avatar
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    my reaction was that I was pretty pissed because it seemed like a blatant disregard for what I was doing, and disrespectful to our relationship. My gf was apparently very excited and enthusiastic about their bday plans for her. At this point I expected her to go, otherwise that would cause a whole other chit storm. But at the very least I would have expected her to ask why the hell they purposely excluded me from it(she didnt). She is obsessed with having her loser friends approval, yet Im starting to feel like less and less of a priority. I told her this, she said I should stop being mean to her and trying to ruin her vacation....
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  10. #10
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    Cool

    Originally Posted by hardestgainer View Post
    So been dating my gf for 2 years now, she has wanted to go to england for awhile now and I was saving up money to go with, already got my passport and stuff. We were gonna try and go late this summer, and her bday is next month. I had planned taking her on a weekend trip, told her about it thoughand she was excited.....Her mom tells her no theyve already got plans for her and I need to cnacel. So I ask what it is to her mom and she just says "I need you to be supportive of this youll find out later". Next day her best friend who is stationed in england right now cuz her husband in the airforce calls me, tells me she bought her a ticket to go to england for her birthday even though she knew we were gonna go together since we had never gone. She strtaight up tells me she didnt want me to go thats why she didnt tell me about it, still wanted to go and told me not to buy a ticket.

    Back story: My gfs family and friends cannot stand me because they are the type of "lower class" that hate people that they think are rich. Im from a middle/upper class family so they never gave me a chance. They tried the first 6 months to break us up and have her get back with her ex. Her ex was mentally abusive(no WK his next gf email my gf through facebook and told her about it) and friends didnt care, they picked her ex over her and stopped talking to her except like once every 3 or 4 months.

    So I feel like this was done on purpose to ruin our trip we were planning on having, they just told my gf today about the bday plans and she was really excited. A little part of me felt like I died, because she seemed like she couldnt care less about me not getting to go. So I told her I was a little upset, she didnt give a chit, told me I was just trying to ruin this for her and how I was LYING about what her friend and mom said to me. Jonestly she has never stood up for me with her friends and family and I almost left her over it, but her friends basically abandoned her so I left it at that. Her friends are starting to come back and I seem to have fallen far on the list of priorities.

    Cliffs:
    Friends and family hatre me cuz they are poor and I am not.
    friends have attacked me for 2 years and gf has never stood up for me
    planning trip to europe with gf since neither of us have gone
    family and friends pitch in to buy her a ticket to go without me
    gf thinks im lying about them admitting to me they did this on purpose
    gf has now tried turning this on me like im the bad guy
    Something that sort of sucks about people is that we practice primacy-recency. Your gf seems to be more of a primacy type of person. Meaning that the relationships that she had before her recent ones are more valuable to her. She is going to feel like there is a better connection to them and that the time that they have had together makes them stronger rather than the type of relationship you have with her and the feelings you express to her. She seems like if she can try to balance between primacy and recency, she can see how much you are hurt by the situation regardless of what was said to you because you would really love to spend her birthday and the trip with her. Not because it's ****ing England but because it's for her. Addressing the situation as such may be helpful. Otherwise, tell her family and friends to shoot themselves and go with her anyhow. No ones stopping you from buying a ticket.
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  11. #11
    Squats Barefoot hardestgainer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by goodthings View Post
    you have made a lot of sacrifices and you are getting this sh!t? stop making the f cucking sacrifices you stupid boy, she is treating you like the b1tch!

    back off, spend less time with her, f u ck her friends off, if she chooses them over you, so be it, you sound like you have gone overboard on her, also, her friends seem pretty skanky, why does she hang out with them???
    because these are the same losers she has grown up with and lived around ever since she was 3....
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  12. #12
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    Originally Posted by hardestgainer View Post
    my reaction was that I was pretty pissed because it seemed like a blatant disregard for what I was doing, and disrespectful to our relationship. My gf was apparently very excited and enthusiastic about their bday plans for her. At this point I expected her to go, otherwise that would cause a whole other chit storm. But at the very least I would have expected her to ask why the hell they purposely excluded me from it(she didnt). She is obsessed with having her loser friends approval, yet Im starting to feel like less and less of a priority. I told her this, she said I should stop being mean to her and trying to ruin her vacation....
    Then tell her you hope she has a great time and since you were wanting to go but have now been excluded that you are taking your own vacation with some boys. You said your upper class so shouldnt be a problem. Do it and have a good time and let her contact you..
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  13. #13
    Squats Barefoot hardestgainer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by toriidavis View Post
    Something that sort of sucks about people is that we practice primacy-recency. Your gf seems to be more of a primacy type of person. Meaning that the relationships that she had before her recent ones are more valuable to her. She is going to feel like there is a better connection to them and that the time that they have had together makes them stronger rather than the type of relationship you have with her and the feelings you express to her. She seems like if she can try to balance between primacy and recency, she can see how much you are hurt by the situation regardless of what was said to you because you would really love to spend her birthday and the trip with her. Not because it's ****ing England but because it's for her. Addressing the situation as such may be helpful. Otherwise, tell her family and friends to shoot themselves and go with her anyhow. No ones stopping you from buying a ticket.
    thanks, I did explain to her it isnt about England itself(my family is from germany i dont care about england) but its about being with her on her bday, and also us both experiencing something like going to a new place overseas together and experience it together.....her response was "well we can go again later". Maybe its just me but that kinda ruins part of it....Oh and they were smart enough to schedule her to be there during my finals! She already graduated
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  14. #14
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    Originally Posted by hardestgainer View Post
    my reaction was that I was pretty pissed because it seemed like a blatant disregard for what I was doing, and disrespectful to our relationship. My gf was apparently very excited and enthusiastic about their bday plans for her. At this point I expected her to go, otherwise that would cause a whole other chit storm. But at the very least I would have expected her to ask why the hell they purposely excluded me from it(she didnt). She is obsessed with having her loser friends approval, yet Im starting to feel like less and less of a priority. I told her this, she said I should stop being mean to her and trying to ruin her vacation....
    guess you should remain in a relationship with her and continue getting treated like ****. Life sure is fun as an ignored, beta afterthought, isn't it? After all, you've been with her for 2 years so you can't possibly break up with her!
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    Originally Posted by Boffothe View Post
    guess you should remain in a relationship with her and continue getting treated like ****. Life sure is fun as an ignored, beta afterthought, isn't it? After all, you've been with her for 2 years so you can't possibly break up with her!
    Im far from beta man, when I say sacrifices, im talking about me being with her in my prime for 2 years and declining tons of other girls coming after me when we first were dating. Until about 6 months ago there werent problems because I told her the friends were chit and they became a non factor. I was the one who always "wore the pants" in this relationship, but she is clearly trying to take control and I will be making sure it doesnt continue.

    I will see about getting some boys to go hawaii this summer since on of them has family there with an extra house. If not, Ive already got a trip to New York planned, I was gonna let her come and help pay for part of her ticket, but now Im not gonna even mention her coming.
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    Originally Posted by chalup View Post
    Then tell her you hope she has a great time and since you were wanting to go but have now been excluded that you are taking your own vacation with some boys. You said your upper class so shouldnt be a problem. Do it and have a good time and let her contact you..
    Im from a family that is on the boarder between middle and upper ya, but they wouldnt pay a dime towards cost of a trip though lol.

    Im thinking about getting guys together for a trip to Hawaii now though
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