How to talk to this woman at the gym?

[Gatsby1925]

Hi everyone! Awhile ago, I asked for advice for someone who is attracted to muscular women. Well, I found one at my gym. She is not a competitor, I don't think, but she is in great shape and takes her lifting very seriously. This is the kind of girl that I am very attracted to, and any advice would be awesome. Thank you!

[lightweight99]

Walk up to her, say "Hello".... For starters... Freakin socially awkward nerd

[Michelle_Rose]

walk up to her, say "hello".... For starters...

perv !

[luckynumber13as]

Hi everyone! Awhile ago, I asked for advice for someone who is attracted to muscular women. Well, I found one at my gym. She is not a competitor, I don't think, but she is in great shape and takes her lifting very seriously. This is the kind of girl that I am very attracted to, and any advice would be awesome. Thank you!

Its just as simple as any other time. Just be respectful.

[Snakethejake83]

Not sure how I ended up here, but I wouldnt recommend not going up to her while she is lifting. I know it sounds kinda stalkerish, but wait until she is done lifting/doing cardio and than go up to her and talk about lifting. Should be an easy icebreaker.

[Gatsby1925]

Quick followup before hitting my back hard at the gym before going to work...

The reason I ask this is because I am highly attracted to women who are serious lifters like I am. However, I keep hearing the "I am at the gym to workout," and it's a bit discouraging because while I do understand it (that's why I go to the gym too), I would love to meet someone who is into that healthy lifestyle. I hate bars and I hate nightclubs, being a teetotaler and not a fan of most "party" music; I would much rather meet someone who is into my lifestyle. It's just hard because lifting can be a very solitary activity. It's not hard for me to approach a woman to say hi in most places, but based on the vitriolic responses that come from some women when this topic is brought about, I want to know how to approach it the right way.

Based on her build and workout regime, she takes her lifting seriously. She is not one of those women who gets dolled up before working out to actively search for guys, and I like that.

Well, time to squeeze in this workout fast before work! Thank you again!

[Michelle_Rose]

ask her something about the gym, her program, if shes done with her set... she wont feel like you're trying too hard.

[acrawlingchaos]

I don't know, I always liked the direct approach. I'm not going to say it's fool proof, but an open and honest no bullsh*t approach will at always be respected.

When the time is appropriate (not currently engaged with something/someone else), introduce yourself. Tell her you respect what she's doing in the gym and tell her you'd like to take her out to dinner.

Either she will say no, or she will say yes. Don't over complicate it and don't become offended if she isn't interested. Everyone's situation changes, she may become single or have a friend, and a woman will always remember a gentleman.

[Rowyn]

When she is taking a break, at the water fountain, whatever, tell her you admire her lifting dedication. Ask her something about her routine or whatever, serious lifters generally like to engage with other serious lifters. Its the idjits that cause the problems, lol. Training talk is a good way to break the ice.

[luckynumber13as]

When she is taking a break, at the water fountain, whatever, tell her you admire her lifting dedication. Ask her something about her routine or whatever, serious lifters generally like to engage with other serious lifters. Its the idjits that cause the problems, lol. Training talk is a good way to break the ice.

This would definitely work. As long as the guy was sweet and respectful.

[DaniGrrl]

If she's a serious lifter, definitely wait until she's on a break and keep it simple, complement her workouts, talk about lifting, etc. Maybe find out from others if they know if she's married, in a relationship, whatever. She may not wear a ring while lifting. And even if she's unavailable right now, her situation could change and as someone said, it's always good to strike up a friendship - it could open other doors, meaning if she's not available herself, she may have a friend who is, who is also your type. And if she is single, go out on a limb and ask her if you can call her sometime. The worst she will say is no. But she may say yes. You won't know if you don't take a chance.

[betajohn]

load up the machine with weights, then leave the weights on the machine, then go back and help her get the weights off when she rages she has to take them all off.

always works for me!

happy talking

[Weekling]

Theres this cute chick that works out at my gym and this thread gave me the motivation to go talk to her! Was always under the impression that chicks didn't like talking to guys during gym time but when she's leaving/drinking water I'm giving it a shot.

She's there longer than I am which I think is nuts and is what the topic of convo will be. Thanks!

[Ma110W]

load up the machine with weights, then leave the weights on the machine, then go back and help her get the weights off when she rages she has to take them all off.

always works for me!

happy talking

If any guy did that to me, I'd look them dead in the eyes and ask them why they were so lazy that they couldn't take the weight off the first time around. And then I'd stand there and not help you take your weight off of the machine. I hate people who are too lazy to put up their weights.

[britchick884]

load up the machine with weights, then leave the weights on the machine, then go back and help her get the weights off when she rages she has to take them all off.

always works for me!

happy talking

This works????? hrmmm not sure about that, if it were me I think you were a bit of a sad twat. Sure you're not but that's what I'd think

[NotBigEnough206]

Say hello, hi, how are you, my name is ___________ just wondering if you compete, do you have a show coming up soon?

You look great, just wanted to tell you that, but Im sure you already know that.

just like that man

[Ang123]

I actually feel offended if guys come unload machines for me. What that says to me is "I see you are a woman therefore I know you are weak". The only exception is if its a 60 lb or larger plate because I can't get my smaller hands wrapped around those or if the plates are above my head. I would do like someone else suggested and ask around about her and make sure she isn't married, have a BF or lesbian. It puts someone in an awkward position to just walk right up and ask them out if they aren't interested or available. It might be better to ask her to an activity outside of gym versus a date. Something like a hike, local festival, coffee....start out slow.

[Alphabolone]

Walk up to her, say "Hello".... For starters... Freakin socially awkward nerd

lol at you thinking that will work...

to answer OP's question: first you need to break whatever self-esteem the girl has, so ask her something offensive like if she gained weight. Next you need to elevate your status, so talk about how much money you have, your penis size,..etc. Third: make sure you act like a complete ******* to her, woman hate nice guys.

[Weekling]

If any guy did that to me, I'd look them dead in the eyes and ask them why they were so lazy that they couldn't take the weight off the first time around. And then I'd stand there and not help you take your weight off of the machine. I hate people who are too lazy to put up their weights.

You just proved that his method works. You would be talking to him which is the reaon he did it anyway.

Edit: Didn't approach the chick yesterday, even though she was there. Had my glasses on and I don't feel sexy with glasses, today I'll have contacts so I'm going to give it a shot.

[Artistry]

lol at you thinking that will work...

to answer OP's question: first you need to break whatever self-esteem the girl has, so ask her something offensive like if she gained weight. Next you need to elevate your status, so talk about how much money you have, your penis size,..etc. Third: make sure you act like a complete ******* to her, woman hate nice guys.

I'm choosing to believe this is sarcasm based on years of sitcom tropes, so, you know, lol.

Hello is good. Or, just wait until she finishes a set and tell her it's impressive to see a woman lifting heavy and getting away from the treadmill. You'll be able to tell from her reaction whether she's interested or not. Don't overcomplicate it.

[Gatsby1925]

Hi ladies. An update for you, please rate how I did per my approach.

I just finished wrapping up my weight training (shoulders) and went to the cardio room to run a cool down mile. I saw her, or who I believed to be her (more on that later) at one of the machines, a machine that she does all the time before hitting the weight room. I approach her right before she starts the machine and say hello. I asked her, as she is a serious lifter, if it's better to do cardio before lifting, as I usually like to do my full-fledged cardio workouts either after lifting or as a separate workout all together. She said that she wasn't a serious lifter, and I must have had her mistaken for someone else. I said thank you, and walked away.

Now, she was wearing a full Everlast hoodie, so I couldn't see her big arms, but I could have sworn it was her. Her facial structure was similar and she had that Everlast brand that she always wears (and bag too). Either it really wasn't her and it was my mistake, of for some reason it was her but she said she wasn't a serious lifter. If you look at this girl's arms in a tank top and how heavy she lifts, you would know that she does take her lifting seriously.

Ladies, what are your thoughts? Do you think maybe, if it was indeed her and not someone else, that she simply said that she wasn't because she thinks that or to shoo me away? Thank you!

[Ma110W]

You just proved that his method works. You would be talking to him which is the reaon he did it anyway.

Edit: Didn't approach the chick yesterday, even though she was there. Had my glasses on and I don't feel sexy with glasses, today I'll have contacts so I'm going to give it a shot.

Yeah, just ignore that whole first impressions thing. And maybe the tone wasn't clear in my reply, but I wouldn't be giggling and saying, "Thank you so much kind sir for coming back to re-rack the weights that you rudely left behind. You are such a gentleman!"


The point I was trying to make was that betajohn's signature move is not smooth, and in my opinion, most serious female lifters would be, 1. Irritated that he left his weight on the machine in the first place, and 2. Would probably be a little offended that he came back to be a white knight and help her lift the big heavy weights off the machine just because she's a woman. I think it's an idiotic move that only a dumb female would fall for, but that's just my opinion, and apparently I can be pretty judgmental.

[Ang123]

If that was her then I think you got the brush off.

[ReconRon1b847077]

perv !

hello = perv



lol women.....

[kaiPod]

hello = perv



lol women.....

HA I'm not going to lie when a guy comes up to me I automatically think he's a pervert.



It's hard to gather the courage to go up to someone and show that you're interested. Not all can do it with ease. Has she ever said hello to you? Made eye contact? Next time wave hello or smile. After a couple times of going to the gym and saying hello, introduce yourself and ask her for her name. And when you're not so nervous, ask her for her phone number or if she wants to get lunch/dinner. If she says no, she's not interested. If she says yes, you were nervous for nothing.

[Michelle_Rose]

hello = perv



lol women.....

its an homage to another thread about guys staring at the gym and perv

[Artistry]

If that was her then I think you got the brush off.

Yeeeah, this. I suppose she could have mistaken "serious" for "competitor," but it seems unlikely. Sorry. =\

[Gatsby1925]

Ouch, if that was a brush-off, then that's disappointing .

Ladies, was my approach good?

[Ang123]

Ouch, if that was a brush-off, then that's disappointing .

Ladies, was my approach good?

Ummm not exactly. I think you are nice guy and intentions are good. But the problem is a lot of women don't like being approached in the gym. I know I loathe the idea of a guy speaking to me because he "wants something" (date, sex) and other women complain in the locker room about the same thing. I notice this two places- you go to gym or visit a church and since both places have turned into meat markets for the young then guys swoop in like a pack of vultures. It gets irritating. Consider how many others may be approaching her at gym. Most women get hit on at least once per day whether its the grocery store, work or gym. So our creep flag immediately comes up maybe more often than it should. Try to not approach so direct...well I mean saying that you notice how she is working out serious says that you are watching her...stalker alert went off right there. Not saying you are, just saying many women have dealt with stalkers and you don't want her thinking "oh great not AGAIN!" Try more of hey I've never seen that lift or exercise before what part of the body does that work or I think I've seen that before is that part of the PX90 routine? That way you are noticing more the exercise and not "HER" so the level of suspicion is less and people like to be asked about something they are knowledgeable on. Don't walk clear across the gym to her to speak as that looks obvious. Wait till you end up on side by side machines or are at the dumbbell rack same time.

[Gatsby1925]

Ummm not exactly. I think you are nice guy and intentions are good. But the problem is a lot of women don't like being approached in the gym. I know I loathe the idea of a guy speaking to me because he "wants something" (date, sex) and other women complain in the locker room about the same thing. I notice this two places- you go to gym or visit a church and since both places have turned into meat markets for the young then guys swoop in like a pack of vultures. It gets irritating. Consider how many others may be approaching her at gym. Most women get hit on at least once per day whether its the grocery store, work or gym. So our creep flag immediately comes up maybe more often than it should. Try to not approach so direct...well I mean saying that you notice how she is working out serious says that you are watching her...stalker alert went off right there. Not saying you are, just saying many women have dealt with stalkers and you don't want her thinking "oh great not AGAIN!" Try more of hey I've never seen that lift or exercise before what part of the body does that work or I think I've seen that before is that part of the PX90 routine? That way you are noticing more the exercise and not "HER" so the level of suspicion is less and people like to be asked about something they are knowledgeable on. Don't walk clear across the gym to her to speak as that looks obvious. Wait till you end up on side by side machines or are at the dumbbell rack same time.

Thank you for reply Ang123. Your suggestion is a pretty good one. There are a couple of points I would like to bring up though:

Yes, I know there are women who loathe being talked to at the gym, and that some places have turned into meat markets by younger guys hitting on everything that moves. But, as someone who is attracted to weight lifting and bodybuilding women, where else will I be able to find them outside of the gym? For that matter, where else are "appropriate" places outside of clubs and bars that I can talk to women? Fitness is a huge aspect of my life, and that's why I am attracted to the women who are not afraid of lifting serious weights and gaining muscle. I don't mean to be a creep or a jerk; I am just a guy who is looking for someone compatible; someone who doesn't want to have any "what ifs" in life, so I take a chance. My other big hobby is literature (I am serious literary geek; I have Thomas Pynchon's Post-Muted Horn tattooed on my wrist), but most of the people at book clubs are much older than me

I honestly feel bad for all of you that get hit on nonstop by creepy or obnoxious people. Some guys can be dumb, but please note that while I try to be assertive and confident, I try my best not to be "that guy."