Negative comments

[115 Max Bench]

When you first started training, what was people's reactions? Did you get negative comments from unsupportive friends? How did you overcome this?

I recently displayed a picture of what I want to look like...my goal. Instead of my friends cheering me on they all turned around and said that women shouldn't look that and it's gross. Needless to say I felt embarrassed. I thought friends would be Supportive.

These people shouldn't be called "friends" if they made you feel embarassed. A real friend would totally cheer you on, especially if its something positive like working out. A real friend should only be negative if you're doing drugs, committing crimes, or other bad things. Sounds like these so called friends are either jealous or envious because they don't have the discipline to work out.

[fitann]

The ones that really care about you and love you are the ones that will support you. I don't talk much about my lifestyle/daily workout regimen with those around me (other than my husband of course) because I've found that they honestly could care less. I need the support and motivation from those who are seeking the same goals as I am. So I've turned to bodyspace in hopes of reaching out to others that will help me grow. My personal blog also serves as a space to share my dreams, goals, and ambitions. If a friend or acquaintance is really interested in what I do as far as working out and eating right, then I'll be more than happy to share. Otherwise I just keep on going and focus on me, myself, and I

[katie0615]

I totally can see what you are talking about. If I were to tell my family or friends that I want to get serious about bodybuilding, 90% of them would say "Why?" or "curves are good on girls!" You ladies (and men) are super inspirational though. Reading through these posts on this thread really made me want to get more serious about training. ... not to mention seeing the avatar pics that a lot of you have. I have really come to believe that a woman with muscles is sexy. I am striving for a lean, muscle-clad look. There is NOTHING wrong with that. A lot of the women that we are used to seeing in the media, and are told that we should look like, are too skinny, in my opinion. I want to rock a six-pack in a bikini, and amazingly toned legs. I think that it shows dedication, hard work, and determination. Anyone can be stick skinny, but it takes hard work to put on the muscle and look svelt. Thanks for the inspirational thread - I'm gonna head to the gym

[cheerchica]

Not sure if I can post a link yet, but this article in The Daily Mail just made me think of this thread:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...t-disease.html

If the link doesn't work, do a google search for:
"Could your friends be making you sick? Toxic relationships are linked to cancer, depression and heart disease"

Life is way too short for toxic friendships. Even if we can't cut these people out of our lives, we should definitely limit their access to ours.

[rdferguson]

I almost had a screaming match with my dad a few weeks ago (almost, because when he demanded an explanation as to why I should want to be any stronger than I currently am, I was overwhelmed by the enormity of such a stupid question and couldn't respond on account of mind=blown) about my rather modest goal this year to put on 5-10kg to help me get stronger. My parents are very unsupportive of my goals.

IMO, the only person (other than myself) whose opinion on my appearance matters is my girlfriend. While someone shouldn't love their spouse for their body, I don't think it's right to knowingly make yourself unattractive to your spouse when you have control over the situation.

[wakechica]

I almost had a screaming match with my dad a few weeks ago (almost, because when he demanded an explanation as to why I should want to be any stronger than I currently am, I was overwhelmed by the enormity of such a stupid question and couldn't respond on account of mind=blown) about my rather modest goal this year to put on 5-10kg to help me get stronger. My parents are very unsupportive of my goals.

That's awful They should be the most supportive. Have you provided them with knowledge/understanding to stop the arguments? Maybe they just need to be sat down and be educated as to why you want/need to put on the weight.

I would sit them down to discuss it prior to having an argument/yelling match. Let them tell you WHY they don't think you should put on weight and then you tell them your reasoning clearly concisely and with examples.

[dreahere]

I almost had a screaming match with my dad a few weeks ago (almost, because when he demanded an explanation as to why I should want to be any stronger than I currently am, I was overwhelmed by the enormity of such a stupid question and couldn't respond on account of mind=blown)

Heh. My dad's passed away now, but a couple of years ago when I was taking a Sunday morning yoga class, I came home from it and he asked me what it was supposed to be doing for me. "It's making me strong and flexible." "Why do you want to be strong and flexible?" Um, I dunno, dad. BECAUSE IT'S BETTER THAN BEING WEAK AND INFLEXIBLE? Oh, lord.

Granted, he was in his 80s, at which point I guess you are allowed to just not get certain things.

[amannunl]

When you first started training, what was people's reactions? Did you get negative comments from unsupportive friends? How did you overcome this?

I recently displayed a picture of what I want to look like...my goal. Instead of my friends cheering me on they all turned around and said that women shouldn't look that and it's gross. Needless to say I felt embarrassed. I thought friends would be Supportive.

I got the same reaction from friends, family, and my husband. It is really discouraging and I actually backed away from it for a long time. But now im back to training and hitting harder than ever. Just realize its all about what you want and go after it!!!!

[amerrylife]

Reading some of these posts made me so sad! I hate that people react that way! I've only been lifting since last year and I'm still way overweight (but working on it obviously). I've been super lucky to be surrounded by crazy supportive people. I was living with my mom last year when I started and once I moved on from using dumbbells at home and joined a gym she started using my dumbbells every night and has some awesome muscles herself! And since I've been married my husband has been lifting heavy with me (though we are doing different programs now) instead of just running like he used to. He is really supportive of my lifting weights and getting stronger which makes me feel really grateful. My friends are supportive too - the ones who are active have worked out with me a few times and the others are just supportive in encouraging me even if they don't join in.

The only negative reactions I've encountered have been at my new gym. At the time I workout I'm usually the only girl in the weightroom while there are usually a half dozen or so on the cardio machines. I've gotten some weird/bad looks like "what are you doing here?" that make me feel like everyone there thinks I'm supposed to be on a treadmill instead. No one really talks to me though as I wear headphones or talk to my husband and just don't give them the chance. Even that isn't as harsh as the stories here so I feel really lucky!

You ladies are all very inspiring, btw!

[MamaAdjuste]

Oh yes! It seems to be the ones you care about the most that are your biggest haters. When I was chubby they hated, now I'm at a healthy weight and they are hating about that!

I am thankful that my Dad and my hubby are my biggest fans.

I soak in my haters negativity. You say I can't and I only push harder!

[BrotherWolf]

People that criticize or make remarks don't really want to see you succeed you know ? .... it makes them look bad because they can't find the motivation to do it so they'd prefer you being at their level or worse so they can feel good about themselves..

They convince themselves that ..for example, a "muscular" woman looks unattractive ....

you know you're doing a good thing and it's for yourself , if they can't see the positive in this , I say **** em

[elainedeluca]

Yeah, I know it sucks to lose such an old friend, but if she's going to be that negative and judgmental, then I don't need that hanging over me and worrying about it every time we speak/see each other. While I had accepted the fact that she's a judgmental person by nature a LONG time ago (I would let a lot of crap slide), this was the one thing I couldn't let pass given that it's so important to me.

I truly don't understand how people can be so ignorant. Not just with female bodybuilding/physique but other "controversial" topics as well. I follow a philosophy of 'live and let live'.

[BrotherWolf]

Yeah, I know it sucks to lose such an old friend, but if she's going to be that negative and judgmental, then I don't need that hanging over me and worrying about it every time we speak/see each other. While I had accepted the fact that she's a judgmental person by nature a LONG time ago (I would let a lot of crap slide), this was the one thing I couldn't let pass given that it's so important to me.

I truly don't understand how people can be so ignorant. Not just with female bodybuilding/physique but other "controversial" topics as well. I follow a philosophy of 'live and let live'.

Some people just love to judge, I am pretty sure there is a physiological reason for that maybe a complex of some sort
If it's friends we are talking about most of the times It doesn't bother me too much if they do, I understand it is part of their character and we all have our positive and negatives but if strangers or people I don't know have that attitude it irritates me a lot.. but in the end I still say **** em

[aragonmod]

I didn't tell anyone. Who cares what people think or say, as long as you are happy and like what you look like who cares.

V

[luckynumber13as]

i didn't tell anyone. Who cares what people think or say, as long as you are happy and like what you look like who cares.

V

very well said!!

[Stipicica]

Do it what you like in healthy way and you re always be on right way. I understad people but they don t want understand me. They know be traditional or to trendy, like too skiny girls. That is modern sport and parents can t understand that if they didn t do that in history. But you must talk to your friends, tell them that you like that and display them people who train, and Larissa Reis legs in her offseason view, and tell them that perfect glutes, volume and look you can t get no where without hard training or some very good genetics. When you se girl in street with perfect legs, show them and say that she trained something for sure to look like this. Bodybuilding in competitive way is same thing only with hard dieting and training and waiver. You like for sure hard and muscular competitve look and I like but they cant understand that, but show them how beautiful they are in offseason and tell them they are not aliens, only hard workers. Bodybuilding is only sport where you work just for showing muscles and then they see that, but that is same thing like tenis where you dont see that muscular look. Every athlete today goes to gym.
My parents and girlfriend didn t like that to, but girlfriend was supportive, but parents not and now they dont understand that. But I dont understand my mum how she likes skinny guy who looks like boy with some definition.
Now my girlfriend can t imagine how I slim was and like this and support. She would go to gym because of me and like some programs and progress and that is my food for happines. Now I m not muscular like before but I want some little more muscular fitness man look and I know that she like that. We are ready to go to gym soon we solve some obligations in life, new job, my collage.. And friends now respect me like who I am.
Best wishes and GHod bless you, your parents and friends!

[mommymakeover]

This is sad. Fortunately I've had nothing BUT support from all my friends and family and even if they think negative about it they haven't said anything to me except cheer me on.

[Stipicica]

Try surround yourself with people who think like you in gym and when you are building yourself. There are many happy and motivatingl persons in every neigborhood. Try find exercise partner, that is best thing. And there are many man who likes muscles on girls or just hard body and they are often crazy about them. Just you wouldn t hear that often because some men are thinking that you are gay if you like muscles. Stupid! They are afraid about stronger girls. And about your girlfriends: Just see around girls when they working out, all girls are afraid to get muscles. That is hard and long proces specialy with girls because of estrogen, and I supportive to you to look like Larissa. Girl to look just like some actors with good femine body must train like "man" and trhey all do that. Meet your friends with just training of Lindsay Lohan to look like that. Best wishes!

[karategurl]

I had the same. Showed a few people my 'ultimate aim' and they were horrified. I would love to get to the stage one day, and trying to explain the process and dedication... they just don't understand (they also didn't understand that the tanning is only temporary, lol). It really becomes a private matter. I no longer tell others what I'm doing or where I'm heading, I just do it. Although I would appreciate the support of my loved ones, I know I'm not going to get it.
Even right now, I know I'm bulking up a bit and I'm getting stockier (I am naturally stocky, just becoming more obvious), I'm continually told by family and friends that I'm doing too much and need to stop. I just love it too much to do what they ask
Maybe one day we will all be accepted for our passions and choices in life, but until then...

[squatsnmore]

To most of my friends I just 'go to the gym', 'exercise', and 'eat healthy' - i dont bother discussing every detail with them because they simply don't understand the ins and outs of my lifestyle- and I don't have the energy nor the interest to constantly justify my actions- it's my life noone else's.

I have a few friends in the gym who are very similar to me and these are the people I share my experiences/aspirations with because I know they get me

[kaiPod]

I posted my inspiration picture and was BASHED by the people on my FB page. They said she looked disgusting and that she looked like a man. I thought she looked great and would love to be at that point someday. Just don't listen to what other people say if they only say negative things. Whose body is it? IT IS YOUR BODY. You have the right to do whatever you please with it.

[Walks90]

I'm forever "sharing" pictures of bodybuilding women and gym motivation on ********. At the beginning my friends weren't very supportive and commented on how horrible these women looked and how lifting weights was stupid because i was going to become huge and manly.

I just told them that i was working out for me, that it was something i loved doing, and that we would always have different opinions in that respect. I also asked how they would feel if i slated their hobbies? Now they've learned to have a bit of respect for what i do.

[danap3681]

I have some positive comments and some negative. Depends on who it is. Worst one was my husband at the time who had nothing but negative things to say about my going to the gym and needing to move my bed up there. Blah... blah... blah!

A few weekends ago I removed a "friend" from my life. She and I got into a spat and out of her mouth flew "you think your all that because you workout all the time". Told her "I don't workout to please anyone besides myself and I don't care what you or anyone else thinks about my lifestyle". I learned months ago that people who do not workout have no interest in what I am doing so I just do what I do and do not include others in that part of my life.

As long as I am doing what I love and loving the results... no one elses opinion matters to me.

[futurefitmama]

Oh all the time. And everyoneee tries to get me to eat what they are eating. Sometimes I just have to tell myself that they are jealous of my determination. Everyone has excuses as to why they look the way they do. Old age, kids, whatever. Some people qould just rather see you fail then face the cruel reality that you have to do some hard ass work to look so good lol

When you first started training, what was people's reactions? Did you get negative comments from unsupportive friends? How did you overcome this?

I recently displayed a picture of what I want to look like...my goal. Instead of my friends cheering me on they all turned around and said that women shouldn't look that and it's gross. Needless to say I felt embarrassed. I thought friends would be Supportive.

[KCMarie]

OP, my mom and friends are very supportive and cheer me on all the time... my dad on the other hand thinks I'm taking it "too far" and I'm "being ridiculous" bc I look "fine the way I am". It's very frustrating, because he's very much overweight and I just wish he would understand that me looking "fine" does not mean I was healthy. I've dropped a little over 20lbs. and I feel like I can't even really share that with him... it bothers me, because I like to make him proud, but the reality is I make myself proud and I know that what I'm doing could possibly change his mind in the end when he sees how healthy and fit I look and how happy and confident it has made me (I haven't seen him in months... they're all in Texas, I live in Georgia). I hope one day he's interested in HOW I attained my goals, because I want him around for a long time and it would benefit him to get serious about his own health.

But in the end, you know what's best for you and it's your body and your life. So keep at it and whenever you need/want support for how AWESOME you are in what you're doing, just come back to the boards.

[KPainter70]

Do people who go into competitive eating get these kinds of comments? I'm guessing not.

My friends (the small group who know I'm back in the gym) are all really supportive. They're impressed with my hard work and have started asking me questions about diet and working out. Anybody else who doesn't like what I'm doing can suck it.

[Madi-J]

It's your life and you should be how you want to be. Ignore their comments and find other friends at the gym for example who share like minded goals to provide you support for this part of your life. Turn to them for support about how you look etc. I have a couple of friends who I chat about BBing and getting shredded with and chat about what we eat while others just laugh. We spur each other on whilst others take the mickey but at the end of the day who's going to look smokin in a bikini in the summer? Or rock that dress or skiiny jeans?

Even some of my good male friends think I'm stupid and that I just 'want to get massive' and am going to get 'massive' and that I'm going to 'get huge' because I drink protein. According to a lot of boys, as soon as you start taking protein shakes you get MASSIVE #naive

Don't worry, they'll just get jealous in a few months (hang on... that' not a good thing either ) and you'll enjoy the comments and support you get from guys who work out who think it's awesome that a chick is working out.

I wish protein shakes were all it took to "get massive"...Would make my goals a hell of a lot easier!

Right now, the few who know my full goals are supportive: mom - used to bodybuild before I was born, inspiration for my wanting to do it, and boyfriend - also bodybuilds, and actually pushes me to lift more.


Once I start achieving the body that I want, I imagine I will get some harsh comments, especially from my grandma. But I am pretty sure that at least my dad and step-mom and sisters will all be supportive.

Hopefully everyone's friends and family will stop being so closed-minded!

[nlmain]

Just tell them you won't be there to cover their asses during the zombie apocalypse.

Seriously the comments I've heard. Just stay positive, people can't argue with the way you feel. Even if they don't understand your goals, true friends will understand that it makes you happy.

[OfficerRoots]

My family said why would i want to do that to my body "it doesnt look good" "why are you going gym when you can do it in your room" "you won't last long" etc etc

lol'd at them and now I'm almost 6 months in made some nice gains and lost some weight now they all be mirin'.

[MNTiburon]

Thanks to everyone for your comments and advice so far, I guess it's my own fault for thinking friends would support my goals

The picture i showed them was a picture of Larissa Reis. She looks hot and strong! I love it!

Channel your frustration positively in the gym! Seriously this is 2012 I don't see why people are still so bent out of shape if a woman wants to build some muscle. Some of the most famous women in the world are ripped. Michelle Obama, Serena Williams, Danica Patrick, just to name a few. My mom was a hard-core marathon runners in her 30's and her friends often criticized her for losing breast tissue and looking "veiny". She channeled that and qualified for Boston with a 3:16, a feat my guy friends are impressed with and can't beat.