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  1. #31
    Registered abuser admire's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RICKSANTORUM View Post
    pretending to understand
    A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender: " How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and says: "For you, it's no charge".
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  2. #32
    no thanks habibi CarlMcGuirk's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by uracowman View Post
    I got both (bio graduate here)

    I don't get how the first one pertains to hide and seek though. I guess it's just a play on words?

    Second one was decent.
    Newton is "hidden" because he becomes a Pascal and is no longer a Newton (by standing on a square meter).



    What do you do with a dead scientist?

    Barium!
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  3. #33
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    A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, Professor! What if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion! That's my wife!"
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  4. #34
    Registered User BuckleyInDaHous's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by devilbones View Post
    One Newton (N) per square meter (m2) is one Pascal (Pa) and is a unit of pressure. Isaac was saying you dont see me, its Pascal. The other physicist.
    ah, right. Can't see air pressure.
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  5. #35
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    fuk these make me lol! haha


    - Two atoms are sitting in a bar. One says to the other, "I think I've lost an electron." The other asks "Are you sure?" To which the first replies, "I'm positive."
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  6. #36
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    my iq is 144 and i dont understand any of these (srs)
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  7. #37
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    A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3s".

    A group is working hard to ban the potentially dangerous chemical, dihydrogen monoxide. Check out the research on this subject.
    If you have low reps and people won't help you with your homework after starting a thread, pm me and I will make a thread for you (srs)

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  8. #38
    Registered User DK01's Avatar
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    LOL @ high IQ required

    I laughed at the first joke 8)

    The second joke just reminded me of this

    tl;dr the rest of the thread. Good day sirs.
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  9. #39
    assthetics captainhorseboy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by admire View Post
    Two chemists walk into a bar. The Bartender is a chemist, too. The first chemist says, "I'll have an H_{2}O." The second chemist says, "I'll have an H_{2}O, too."

    The second chemist dies
    this made me lol at work
    Excuse me, your seatbelt seems to be broken. What do you recommend I do?
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  10. #40
    Broseidon of the Brocean YoBroseidon's Avatar
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    Descartes Walks into a bar

    The Bartender asks Descartes "Would you like anything to drink?"

    Descartes says "I think not" and disappears.
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  11. #41
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    Originally Posted by admire View Post
    A neutron walks into a bar; he asks the bartender: " How much for a beer?" The bartender looks at him and says: "For you, it's no charge".
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  12. #42
    chillin' like a villain PAINBRAH's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by GermanBB View Post
    love science jokes... but that one is sorta blah...
    reps all the same op
    Au come on, that joke was gold.
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  13. #43
    Registered User DK01's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by YoBroseidon View Post
    Descartes Walks into a bar

    The Bartender asks Descartes "Would you like anything to drink?"

    Descartes says "I think not" and disappears.
    gtfo with your philsophy jokes. It's enough of a joke subject as it is
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  14. #44
    Misc MD 2017 efoi's Avatar
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    lol'd at this thread, especially chemistry cat
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  15. #45
    no thanks habibi CarlMcGuirk's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BuckleyInDaHous View Post
    ah, right. Can't see air pressure.
    Pascals are not just for air pressure

    Originally Posted by pimptasty View Post
    my iq is 144 and i dont understand any of these (srs)
    I don't believe your claim (srs)
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  16. #46
    Banned pimptasty's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by CarlMcGuirk View Post
    Pascals are not just for air pressure

    I don't believe your claim (srs)
    you dont have to believe. ive taken multiple tests and theyve all scored in the 140-150 range. thats all the proof i need.
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  17. #47
    Mares accepted! Shortfuze's Avatar
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  18. #48
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    Originally Posted by pimptasty View Post
    you dont have to believe. ive taken multiple tests and theyve all scored in the 140-150 range. thats all the proof i need.
    ohhhh

    the internet tests don't count
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  19. #49
    Registered User frasersteen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Diesel222 View Post
    Not really a Science joke, but I heard this one around in the engineering department and thought it was funny.

    Three freshman engineering students were sitting around talking between classes, when one brought up the question of who designed the human body.

    One of the students insisted that the human body must have been designed by an electrical engineer because of the perfection of the nerves and synapses.

    Another disagreed, and exclaimed that it had to have been a mechanical engineer who designed the human body. The system of levers and pullies is ingeniuos.

    "No," the third student said "your both wrong. The human body was designed by an architect. Who else but an architect would have put a toxic waste line through a recreation area?"
    Originally Posted by uracowman View Post
    A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads "Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3s".

    A group is working hard to ban the potentially dangerous chemical, dihydrogen monoxide. Check out the research on this subject.
    Had to double check that one, but still lol'd

    Originally Posted by YoBroseidon View Post
    Descartes Walks into a bar

    The Bartender asks Descartes "Would you like anything to drink?"

    Descartes says "I think not" and disappears.
    lol'd
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  20. #50
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    Originally Posted by pimptasty View Post
    you dont have to believe. ive taken multiple tests and theyve all scored in the 140-150 range. thats all the proof i need.
    Go back to recognising patterns then, this is for people that actually study !
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  22. #52
    Mares accepted! Shortfuze's Avatar
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    awesome pick up line!

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  23. #53
    Misc Wise Man coals's Avatar
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    I understand these jokes....
    أشهد أن لا إله إلاَّ الله و أشهد أن محمد رسول الله
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  24. #54
    Anti-Circumcision Police JoshSP1985's Avatar
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    Do I know any science jokes? Na
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  25. #55
    Gold and Silver Bug uracowman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by shortfuze View Post
    lol
    If you have low reps and people won't help you with your homework after starting a thread, pm me and I will make a thread for you (srs)

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  26. #56
    no thanks habibi CarlMcGuirk's Avatar
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    What's the common name for CH2O?




    seawater


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  27. #57
    Ph.D in Broscience TestosteronePL's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by JoshSP1985 View Post
    Do I know any science jokes? Na
    oh_you.jpg
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  28. #58
    Registered User Swolebrah69's Avatar
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    An excited cylinder says to a thermometer, "I graduated!"
    Thermometer says, "eh"
    The cylinder asks, "Why aren't you impressed?"
    Thermometer replies, "I have 100 degrees"
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    Physical, Mental, Financial and Social Self-Improvement Thread (GTFIH if you want to improve yourself)

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  29. #59
    Methionine Squatz KeeronMac's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by admire View Post
    A group of physicists was playing
    Stopped reading after that, sorry OP

    Chemistry Cat however, moar pls
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  30. #60
    Gold and Silver Bug uracowman's Avatar
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    Once upon a time two electrons lived in harmony. They obeyed their just ruler Pauli and enjoyed their ground state existence. One day there was a bright flash of light and the electrons were separated. They no longer shared the same probability cloud. This made one of the electrons sad because he really missed the other electron. So he yelled out to it through the void, “Hey why don’t you come up here? It’s pretty exciting.” It was silent for awhile and then it heard a wee voice coming from the shadows which said, “Sorry but, no HOMO.”
    If you have low reps and people won't help you with your homework after starting a thread, pm me and I will make a thread for you (srs)

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