Science jokes (high iq required) (not srs) (semi serious)

[admire]

A group of physicists was playing hide and seek. While Einstein had his eyes closed and counted to one hundred, most of them ran to hiding spots, except Isaac Newton. Newton took a stick and drew a square meter, then sat in it.

Einstein finished counting and turned around, immediately seeing Isaac. "Hah, I found you Isaac!"

"No you didn't." Isaac responded.

"What do you mean, you're sitting right there."

"No I am not. See, I am sitting in a one square. And what do you get when you have one Newton in one square meter? A Pascal!"

Then Einstein punched him in the kidney and told him to play the ****ing game right.


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Two chemists walk into a bar. The Bartender is a chemist, too. The first chemist says, "I'll have an H_{2}O." The second chemist says, "I'll have an H_{2}O, too."

The second chemist dies



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Continue

[CK2Furious]

what the ****

[admire]

what the ****

Don't tell me you don't get it

[HynnaD]

I hate making bad chemistry jokes but all the good ones Argon.

I bumped my neon the table.

This thread is boron.

[BuckleyInDaHous]

A group of physicists was playing hide and seek. While Einstein had his eyes closed and counted to one hundred, most of them ran to hiding spots, except Isaac Newton. Newton took a stick and drew a square meter, then sat in it.

Einstein finished counting and turned around, immediately seeing Isaac. "Hah, I found you Isaac!"

"No you didn't." Isaac responded.

"What do you mean, you're sitting right there."

"No I am not. See, I am sitting in a one square. And what do you get when you have one Newton in one square meter? A Pascal!"

Then Einstein punched him in the kidney and told him to play the ****ing game right.


-----

Two chemists walk into a bar. The Bartender is a chemist, too. The first chemist says, "I'll have an H_{2}O." The second chemist says, "I'll have an H_{2}O, too."

The second chemist dies



------


Continue

The 2nd chemist ordered H202, no longer water. I get that one but the first one..well.

[Death Strike]

forever alone

also, ones understanding of these jokes has zero to do with their intelligence, just sayin...

[LordByronGains]

I dont like the idea of the father of physics taking a kidney punch, but the H20 H202 joke was good. For unawares, H202 is hydrogen peroxide (dont drink)

[BiggerTommorow]

(H^2 O^2) oh that silly goose.

[Samsong]

go back to comedy college

[Ronceiro]

LOL'd at the hydrogen peroxide joke

[ChemicalBrah]

We took all your sodium hydroxide. Now all your base are belong to us.

[OMGAGIRL]

If I pretend to laugh, does that mean I still have a high IQ?

[ColdSpire]

Measly reps man, first one made me laugh. And wtf @ thread, strong most ppl don't even know what the unit of pressure is. American education system of peace.

[devilbones]

The 2nd chemist ordered H202, no longer water. I get that one but the first one..well.

One Newton (N) per square meter (m2) is one Pascal (Pa) and is a unit of pressure. Isaac was saying you dont see me, its Pascal. The other physicist.

[GermanBB]

love science jokes... but that one is sorta blah...
reps all the same op

[arn710]

Drinking hydrogen peroxide wouldn't kill you. It does induce vomiting pretty quick though

Its handy to have around in case your dog swallows something it shouldn't

[CarlMcGuirk]

Overexplaining the jokes as OP did takes away most of the funny.

[repsofpeace]

Gold, silver and platinum are sitting in a bar, gold gets up to leave, silver turns round and says "A U, where you goin?"

[CarlMcGuirk]

Drinking hydrogen peroxide wouldn't kill you. It does induce vomiting pretty quick though

Its handy to have around in case your dog swallows something it shouldn't

The hydrogen peroxide you have at home is very, very diluted compared to a nearly pure (~98%) solution of H2O2. Actually, the closer it gets to 100% the more likely it is to become steam, and VERY hot steam at that. Pure H2O2 would scald you to death.

[Wizzle1]

Johnny was a chemists son
But johnny is no more
What johnny thought was h2o
Was h2so4

[BPSteve]

[admire]

go back to comedy college

Remember, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate!

[Diesel222]

Not really a Science joke, but I heard this one around in the engineering department and thought it was funny.

Three freshman engineering students were sitting around talking between classes, when one brought up the question of who designed the human body.

One of the students insisted that the human body must have been designed by an electrical engineer because of the perfection of the nerves and synapses.

Another disagreed, and exclaimed that it had to have been a mechanical engineer who designed the human body. The system of levers and pullies is ingeniuos.

"No," the third student said "your both wrong. The human body was designed by an architect. Who else but an architect would have put a toxic waste line through a recreation area?"

[Wilroc516]

Gold, silver and platinum are sitting in a bar, gold gets up to leave, silver turns round and says "A U, where you goin?"

Lol'd theres so many chemistry ones. Somebody get chemistry cat up in this bish.

Edit: inafterchemistrycat

[admire]

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I guess we finally answered "THAT question!"

[Less Than 3]

[ThruH1ker]

edit: ^^^ fuuuuu haha ninja

[HynnaD]

I hate making bad chemistry jokes but all the good ones Argon.

I bumped my neon the table.

This thread is boron.

I told a chemistry joke but there was no reaction .

I asked a man if he had any sodium hypobromite

He said NaBrO

[uracowman]

A group of physicists was playing hide and seek. While Einstein had his eyes closed and counted to one hundred, most of them ran to hiding spots, except Isaac Newton. Newton took a stick and drew a square meter, then sat in it.

Einstein finished counting and turned around, immediately seeing Isaac. "Hah, I found you Isaac!"

"No you didn't." Isaac responded.

"What do you mean, you're sitting right there."

"No I am not. See, I am sitting in a one square. And what do you get when you have one Newton in one square meter? A Pascal!"

Then Einstein punched him in the kidney and told him to play the ****ing game right.


-----

Two chemists walk into a bar. The Bartender is a chemist, too. The first chemist says, "I'll have an H_{2}O." The second chemist says, "I'll have an H_{2}O, too."

The second chemist dies



------


Continue

I got both (bio graduate here)

I don't get how the first one pertains to hide and seek though. I guess it's just a play on words?

Second one was decent.

[RICKSANTORUM]

pretending to understand