Wife Is Gettin Huge What Do I Do

[BRIANG1980]

im 25 she is 20 5'3 and up to about 165 shes gettin bigger and more lazy. I am not really attracted to her at this pointi have hinted for her to go to the gym and nothing happened so i told she had to go nothing happened so now what. i cant even get it up when she wants to have sex. i live in the gym but she rufuses to go and i have bought her a recumbint bike for the house so she doesnt have to go to the gym she hasnt even touched it im gettin tired of it.

[Juicemane]

This is why you don't get married.

[BRIANG1980]

thats true

[Amris]

im 25 she is 20 5'3 and up to about 165 shes gettin bigger and more lazy. I am not really attracted to her at this pointi have hinted for her to go to the gym and nothing happened so i told she had to go nothing happened so now what. i cant even get it up when she wants to have sex. i live in the gym but she rufuses to go and i have bought her a recumbint bike for the house so she doesnt have to go to the gym she hasnt even touched it im gettin tired of it.

Take your stuff. Pack enough to survive for a month. Go to a buddy's place, or a hotel.

On your way out, tell her, "I told you to get in shape. You won't. Good luck paying the bills on your own. Oh, if you want me to move back in, there's only ONE way for you to manage it. Lose 2 pounds a week, and I'll come back. Every week that you lose some weight is a week I'll stay. I am done talking about this and being ignored."

Don't think about it. Don't give her another chance. Go to your buddy's house. Spend two weeks there (be prepared to spend 4 weeks there, in case she decides to test your mettle). Show her you MEAN BUSINESS. Wake her up and shake her up.

[Mammoth3]

Take your stuff. Pack enough to survive for a month. Go to a buddy's place, or a hotel.

On your way out, tell her, "I told you to get in shape. You won't. Good luck paying the bills on your own. Oh, if you want me to move back in, there's only ONE way for you to manage it. Lose 2 pounds a week, and I'll come back. Every week that you lose some weight is a week I'll stay. I am done talking about this and being ignored."

Don't think about it. Don't give her another chance. Go to your buddy's house. Spend two weeks there (be prepared to spend 4 weeks there, in case she decides to test your mettle). Show her you MEAN BUSINESS. Wake her up and shake her up.

i think you just became my personal hero.

[NuggzTheNinja]

Don't tell her you want her to work out because she's getting fat. That will just make her all pissy, and you don't wanna see tears streaming down those fatty fat cheeks.

Tell her that you're really concerned about her health, and that she NEEDS to come to the gym with you.

Does she work? If she doesn't have a job, she has no excuse. Divorce!

[BRIANG1980]

i tried the concerned thing already.

[Lambshank]

im 25 she is 20 5'3 and up to about 165 shes gettin bigger and more lazy. I am not really attracted to her at this pointi have hinted for her to go to the gym and nothing happened so i told she had to go nothing happened so now what. i cant even get it up when she wants to have sex. i live in the gym but she rufuses to go and i have bought her a recumbint bike for the house so she doesnt have to go to the gym she hasnt even touched it im gettin tired of it.

Ok, no offence but how do you manage to hold down a relationship when you can't communicate about something so important?

Amris has said it all, make a stand. Do you really want to be stuck in this relationship when things are only going to get worse?

[ProBuck]

I'm trying to head off the same situation. You can't be mean about it or she'll double in size right before your very eyes. Good luck.

[BigDreams21]

Ok, no offence but how do you manage to hold down a relationship when you can't communicate about something so important?

Amris has said it all, make a stand. Do you really want to be stuck in this relationship when things are only going to get worse?

Dude its hard to talk to someone about something like this, its mean, to tell her she needs to go workout and lose weight is the equivalent of telling her that shes fat, which is a hardcore insult for any girl to take. Theres no possible way shes going to take it well. Its a tough situation.

[King Baer]

Relationships are all about sacrifice and cooperation. Perhaps you can strike a deal w/ her... maybe there's something that you do that bothers her (like watch too much TV). Could you possibly try to give up one of your vices (assuming you have any) if she agrees to work out?

Also... along the same lines... marriage is a compromise. She has a duty to be attractive for you, just as you have that same duty. I know I'm preaching to the choir here tho.

One thing that should be known, however, is that rewards work much better as motivational tool than punishment does. Instead of making a threat, why not make a promise (i.e. take her on vacation if she loses x number of pounds)? Just my 2 cents.

[mythicalone]

Hey dude, why not start to do physical activities with her? For example, start going on walks together when you have the time...Try to get her interested in some outdoor activities? Maybe you can take a trip to the water hole?

Go shopping with her or something (I realize that that is not going to get her to loose weight directly,) But perhaps if you start doing things she enjoys, then she will be more inclined to join in the things you like...? Perhaps even go shopping for her, get her something nice, that you think might be a little to small, or even the right size, so that she realizes that you care about how well she looks? (This may be crossing the line?)

Anyways, good luck dude, I realize that I don't know sh** because I'm only 17 with no experience, but if everyone else is throwing in there two cents, I figure I might as well try to top the piggy bank off.

[KUDave]

On your way out, tell her, "I told you to get in shape. You won't. Good luck paying the bills on your own.

That was a very very sexist thing to say. What happens if she pays the bills..... eh probably not likely

I'm just playin. But anyhow Amris you're my hero. You've got some good insight in your posts.

PS: To the original poster. Don't let her pull that you should love me the way I am crap.

[bass generator]

tell the fat **** she looks grotesque,and the thought of her big fat celluilite ass wobbling around as you ride her sickens you.

[asclarch]

My ex was the same way. Looked good when we started dating. After see moved in she quit going to the gym and started setting on her butt (which grew fast). I lost all interest in her and tried to get her to do something but to no avail. So after 6 months of getting grossed out I broke up and am now happy. By the way it happens that after I broke up with her she joined a gym because her sister kept calling her fat a-- . People get comfortable and don't care is what it amounts to.

[RippedVanWinkle]

Threats and ultimatums don't work, but at the same time how many hints can you throw her way? It seems like you've already tried what others have recommended. Assuming she is not completely oblivious to her appearance and your reactions, she must have some inclination that you are not as attracted to her (especially if you have a hard time getting it up, or if your sex life is basically nonexistent).

I would tell her straight up that you love and care for her and you want your sexy wife back, period! She needs a dose of reality! I don't care about the whole marriage in good AND bad bullsh*t. If she cares enough about your relationship and loves you, she will make that effort to look good for you. Any girl that thinks otherwise, then obviusly lacks motivation and doesn't give a sh*t. You would do the same for her if the roles were reversed. It's not like she always overweight and you're asking her to be a size 4. Superficial or not, if you're not attracted to someone, what is the sense of being married?

[BRIANG1980]

Its Mean But It Looks Like Somebody Hit The Back Of Her Legs With A Sack Of Nickels How Am I Suppose To Sleep With That

[Amris]

Its Mean But It Looks Like Somebody Hit The Back Of Her Legs With A Sack Of Nickels How Am I Suppose To Sleep With That

Listen. You can do so much. You can say so many "sweety, you need to lose weight for < insert polite reason here >" before you have to put your damned foot down, and say "NO GODDAMNED MORE."

If you're happy she's fat, FINE, do nothing and quit bitching to us about it.

If you're NOT happy she's fat, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

You are already rewarding her for losing weight if you do what I told you. You are coming home. You are staying. I agree, you should give her a goal, "When you have lost 30 pounds BY EXERCISING REGULARLY AND NOT STARVING YOURSELF, we'll take a trip upstate, just the two of us. We'll stay at a motel, see some sights, make like another honeymoon for a weekend."

You say this over the phone from your buddy's house.

She hears you. But she knows you won't actually DO anything about it. Why does she know this beyond a shadow of a doubt? You figure it out, the answer is obvious.

[BRIANG1980]

ok.

[101101]

Also... along the same lines... marriage is a compromise. She has a duty to be attractive for you, just as you have that same duty. I know I'm preaching to the choir here tho.

Bingo; it is a tradeoff. You said you live in the gym, so we can assume you're in shape or on your way. No one can expect you to be attracted to a woman that doesn't care about herself.

Like Amris said, you need to put your foot down. She knows how you feel, and if she still refuses to step up then you need to think about making a change. It's your marriage too, and it's not shallow to want your wife to be physically attractive.

[katma201]

I'm sorry but I disagree with Amris 100%. That tactic WIL NOT work. It will end up her resenting you and probably cause her to divorce you. Everyone here shuld know better. You get into shape and stay health for ONE person and ONE person only. YOURSELF! If you do it for someone else, you will never accomplish anything. It has to come with in. You have to find a way to motivate her because she wants to do it, not because you want her to do it.

Key points:
-5'3 165 is technically obese.
-She should want to look how she feels inside. (if she already does, she has mental problems and needs to see a shrink)
-She would have more energy if she exercise and eats healthy
-Her brain would function better
-She wil live longer
-You would be more attracted to her.
- Sex is 100 times better if both partners are in shape. This is a FACT.
-If you guys plan on having kids, she will gain an additional 40-70lbs.

PS. When you are close to her. Lightly pinch her fat all the time. She she calls you out on it, just tell her they are love pinches and you just want to touch her.

[hailfire777]

im 25 she is 20 5'3 and up to about 165 shes gettin bigger and more lazy. I am not really attracted to her at this pointi have hinted for her to go to the gym and nothing happened so i told she had to go nothing happened so now what. i cant even get it up when she wants to have sex. i live in the gym but she rufuses to go and i have bought her a recumbint bike for the house so she doesnt have to go to the gym she hasnt even touched it im gettin tired of it.

burn her body for fuel for the house and then find a better woman.

no tollerance for fat people should be practiced.

[101101]

no tollerance for fat people should be practiced.

Wow strong elitist.

[Amris]

I'm sorry but I disagree with Amris 100%. That tactic WIL NOT work. It will end up her resenting you and probably cause her to divorce you. Everyone here shuld know better. You get into shape and stay health for ONE person and ONE person only. YOURSELF! If you do it for someone else, you will never accomplish anything. It has to come with in. You have to find a way to motivate her because she wants to do it, not because you want her to do it.

Key points:
-5'3 165 is technically obese.
-She should want to look how she feels inside. (if she already does, she has mental problems and needs to see a shrink)
-She would have more energy if she exercise and eats healthy
-Her brain would function better
-She wil live longer
-You would be more attracted to her.
- Sex is 100 times better if both partners are in shape. This is a FACT.
-If you guys plan on having kids, she will gain an additional 40-70lbs.

PS. When you are close to her. Lightly pinch her fat all the time. She she calls you out on it, just tell her they are love pinches and you just want to touch her.

If she was going to do it for herself from a health or appearance standpoint, she would have. Now he has to give her the choice to do it for herself from a keeping her relationship standpoint.

Otherwise, they SHOULD get a divorce.

He deserves better, and so does she. But as long as the status quo is maintained, she will NOT do a damned thing about it. I guarantee it.

[Thin Build]

let me drop some knowledge on your face like a turd in a scat film


THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS COMPROMISE IN THIS SITUATION

SHE IS A FATTY MCFATFAT, YOU CANNOT CHANGE THIS

IF SHE IS TOO LAZY THEN SHE IS TOO LAZY

ATTEMPTING TO CHANGE HER WILL ONLY BREED CONTEMPT

MY SUGGESTION IS TO DIVORCE HER ASAP, AND NEVER GET MARRIED AGAIN UNLESS THE CHICK IS SEXY AND HAS A HARDBODY

DONT **** WITH FATTIES

[franniecd]

I'm sorry but I disagree with Amris 100%. That tactic WIL NOT work. It will end up her resenting you and probably cause her to divorce you.

I have to agree. If my husband ever did anything like that.. he could enjoy his time with his buddy because he wouldn't be coming home ever. I'd divorce him straight up.

About helping with her weight.. I guess plan activities for you guys to do together. Cook her healthy meals, and throught out all the junk. If its that important to you, you should have no problem doing those things.

I cook all the meals in my house. My family is very healthy, we are all at proper weights. Clean bill of health. This is because I take the time and put the effort into my family, our health, and my marriage. Its a choice you have to make.

[GraveyardMama]

So much for til death do you part huh?

[Amris]

I have to agree. If my husband ever did anything like that.. he could enjoy his time with his buddy because he wouldn't be coming home ever. I'd divorce him straight up.

About helping with her weight.. I guess plan activities for you guys to do together. Cook her healthy meals, and throught out all the junk. If its that important to you, you should have no problem doing those things.

I cook all the meals in my house. My family is very healthy, we are all at proper weights. Clean bill of health. This is because I take the time and put the effort into my family, our health, and my marriage. Its a choice you have to make.

But here's a question for you to consider, frannie... would you ever so totally discount and ignore your husband's requests? Would you so utterly violate the marital trust by refusing to even ATTEMPT to keep yourself attractive after your husband has bent over backwards already to TRY to explain himself and help you?

I bet you wouldn't.

Thus, you would have every reason to be angry if your husband did that. Your husband wouldn't be at the end of his rope with you, because you wouldn't let it get there, would you?

Neither would I.

But you and I aren't normal, typical, usual women. Sorry, but we're not.

[RippedVanWinkle]

I have to agree. If my husband ever did anything like that.. he could enjoy his time with his buddy because he wouldn't be coming home ever. I'd divorce him straight up.

About helping with her weight.. I guess plan activities for you guys to do together. Cook her healthy meals, and throught out all the junk. If its that important to you, you should have no problem doing those things.

I cook all the meals in my house. My family is very healthy, we are all at proper weights. Clean bill of health. This is because I take the time and put the effort into my family, our health, and my marriage. Its a choice you have to make.

That's not right, it will work. It will force her fatass to make a choice, and most likely she will make the decision of divorce. Either way, it's a win-win situation for him. She files divorce or gets herself in shape.

[JRRBadBoy4Life]

Seems like your caught between a rock and a mini whale. Anyways I think if you start criticizing her she will only stick to her habits. Like some of these other guys said, start doing physical activities together like bike riding, walking, and aerobics class.