Men Flake Too

[Tiffany Wantsmore]

So I met this guy from POF, we went for coffee. He asked me for a second date, to which I agreed. We texted and spoke on the phone and arranged to go bowling tonight. He mentioned how much he was looking forward to it and said he would call me again before then. I heard nothing so I texted him last night asking if he was still OK for today - no reply. I figured its Saturday night, he's probably out, no biggie. So I called this morning, no reply. I assume, then, that the date is off.

This isn't a thread for advice - its just to point out that everything girls do that pisses guys off, guys do too. I don't know what pleasure people get out of doing this to people and don't know why they can't be straight up, or why they feign interest and even ask for another date if they don't really want one.

The point is, despite this not being the first time this has happened, I'm not going to write all guys off as lying unreliable dickheads. I mean there must be at least one out there who isn't.

[Luke_Skyguy]

Bitches ain't nothing but hoes and tricks.

[Candees]

I bet he'll call eventually...for a bootycall.

[_chef_]

he's playing hard to get and now you want him even more - check mate




wait wut?

[Lottabody]

LoL @ "too." Men invented flaking.

[Tiffany Wantsmore]

Yeah but you never hear about it on here, just guys ranting about how women do all this stuff, without realising that their gender is equally as guilty.

[Mo_Iskabar]

did you put out on first date ?

sometimes i dont bother, but mainly with girls who "make me wait"

[Clever Mouse]

lolz, men and women are NOT that different... only misc rh think they are. Or maybe it's cool to think they are, instead of facing reality.

sry to hear about your flaked date, tiff -- on to the next one.

[Tiffany Wantsmore]

did you put out on first date ?

sometimes i dont bother, but mainly with girls who "make me wait"

Of course not. We were at Costa Coffee seeing if we liked each other enough for a second date.

Maybe irrelevant but I have yet to cancel the bowling booking as its only 11am here and I guess he might not be up yet.

[VariantInterval]

despite this not being the first time this has happened, I'm not going to write all guys off as lying unreliable dickheads. I mean there must be at least one out there who isn't.

I'm going to assume you're speaking in more general terms, because of course it's not going to be the case that every single male on Earth is an unreliable dickhead. As it would also be mad stupid of any dude to believe the literal meaning of a blanket statement about all women.

You're point is not strong, in that it's not being taken in the entire context of the dating scene. us dudes, generally, must put in much more effort to meet women (and i know you know this), so when a women flakes, it's a much greater pain in the ass in the grand scheme of things than when a woman flakes on a man. You can argue against this as much as you want, but a prompt comparison of our POF inboxes will prove otherwise (or a comparison of the POF inboxes of any pair of guy or girl of comparable attractiveness). The amount of women flaking on guys is likely ASTRONOMICALLY larger than the amount of men flaking on women; so much so that it enables us to draw a pretty-close-to-reality conclusion about women in the dating scene in general.

just sayin. you're complaining about one potential flake, when i know there's hella dudes waiting for responses in your pof inbox. the impact is not the same.

But yeah, getting flaked on, no matter who you are, isn't fun. humans do it.

[PowerandGrace]

I think the point is that men can be just as unreliable and flaky as women. I've had the same thing happen to me, guys calling and texting and chasing and then when it actually comes time to meet on the agreed upon date they "disappear" or lose their phone, or the battery dies on their cell, or they just "forget", and then call or text me again later and pretend it didn't happen...this applies to both guys I have not met before and guys who I have been on a date with. Or I get a guy I've dated before telling me he wants me and misses me and cares about me etc but never follows through.

I don't understand this kind of behavior. It's just plain rude and immature to agree to meet and then disappear. If the guy is not interested, he should say so... If he doesn't want to meet, then he should grow a pair of ba!!s and just call and cancel like a adult instead of acting like a child. I've gone out on dates with people and soon discovered the chemistry wasn't right etc, so I've just told them gently that I was not interested. It's about respect.

I've learned to recognize the signs and just cut them off.

I can accept that someone is not interested. No problem. Life goes on and I'll move along and find someone whom I share a mutual attraction with. But jerking people around like this??? Do people really have this much time on their hands?

Tiffany, I can only guess that guys like this like and need the attention, want to feel wanted and want to keep women on a backburner just in case their first choice is not available...

Nobody wants to be second, so just move along.

I tend to pay more attention to what people actually do rather that what they say.

[blinky99]

hung over and sleeping? but ya probably flake
never heard of a guy flaking and personally dont understand it as I never do it

[SymphonyXXX]

Why is this some sort of shock?

And POF?

What sort of expectations did you have?

[Boffothe]

Men do not flake, only women flake. The only logical conclusion is that this "man" was a woman in reverse-drag and you fell for it LIKE A FOOL

[Tiffany Wantsmore]

POF is OK when you're over 40. This is the first guy I've met up with this time around but I was on it a few years ago, had some dates, still friends with one guy who is now my mechanic. None of them were weird or anything, all normal guys.

This guy did not answer when I rang on a withheld number (to see if he was just avoiding me) so perhaps he just lost his phone. I'm gonna go there at the set time and see if he turns up. Its only a 5 minute drive so its not a problem.

[Midgetkiller]

Maybe he read RH Chat thread where you said he was a beta and too enthusiastic.

[Tiffany Wantsmore]

Maybe he read RH Chat thread where you said he was a beta and too enthusiastic.

Yeah that's probably it!

I didn't say he was beta himself though, just the message he sent asking for a second date!

[wildchild11]

women do it on a much greater scale. i.e. i am almost suprised when a girl doesn't flake or play games.

[Tiffany Wantsmore]

Well that was an epic fail all round. Bloody men. I don't know why I bother sometimes.

[icewill36]

age: 44

[Tiffany Wantsmore]

Meaning what? I'm 44 so I have to stay single forever?

[itsRyan]

I think the point is that men can be just as unreliable and flaky as women. I've had the same thing happen to me, guys calling and texting and chasing and then when it actually comes time to meet on the agreed upon date they "disappear" or lose their phone, or the battery dies on their cell, or they just "forget", and then call or text me again later and pretend it didn't happen...this applies to both guys I have not met before and guys who I have been on a date with. Or I get a guy I've dated before telling me he wants me and misses me and cares about me etc but never follows through.

I don't understand this kind of behavior. It's just plain rude and immature to agree to meet and then disappear. If the guy is not interested, he should say so... If he doesn't want to meet, then he should grow a pair of ba!!s and just call and cancel like a adult instead of acting like a child. I've gone out on dates with people and soon discovered the chemistry wasn't right etc, so I've just told them gently that I was not interested. It's about respect.

I've learned to recognize the signs and just cut them off.

I can accept that someone is not interested. No problem. Life goes on and I'll move along and find someone whom I share a mutual attraction with. But jerking people around like this??? Do people really have this much time on their hands?

Tiffany, I can only guess that guys like this like and need the attention, want to feel wanted and want to keep women on a backburner just in case their first choice is not available...

Nobody wants to be second, so just move along.

I tend to pay more attention to what people actually do rather that what they say.

Stats: 5'4", 182 lbs

That is why they flake. Very easy to figure out, no need to ask yourself "why"

[mitchelljik]

i flake 90% of the time serious

[StrongMeat]

We are the 1%



-StrongMeat-

[StrongMeat]

Meaning what? I'm 44 so I have to stay single forever?

not to be negative nancy

but odds are:

1) you cant have kids anymore
2) if you dont have kids already, red flag for new men
3) at your age unless youve had a divorce, theyll think you get around

nothing personal, but just giving you the male insight on the matter

i major in psychology so i know what im talking about(Ive also slept with my share of 35+ women unfortunately)

-StrongMeat-

[HoneycombBandit]

So I met this guy from POF, we went for coffee. He asked me for a second date, to which I agreed. We texted and spoke on the phone and arranged to go bowling tonight. He mentioned how much he was looking forward to it and said he would call me again before then. I heard nothing so I texted him last night asking if he was still OK for today - no reply. I figured its Saturday night, he's probably out, no biggie. So I called this morning, no reply. I assume, then, that the date is off.

This isn't a thread for advice - its just to point out that everything girls do that pisses guys off, guys do too. I don't know what pleasure people get out of doing this to people and don't know why they can't be straight up, or why they feign interest and even ask for another date if they don't really want one.

The point is, despite this not being the first time this has happened, I'm not going to write all guys off as lying unreliable dickheads. I mean there must be at least one out there who isn't.

Strong Alpha

[Tiffany Wantsmore]

Strongmeat

1. I can't have kids because I got sterilised, I don't want more kids.
2. I have a 14 year old, as do most guys my age.
3. I am divorced.

You're 24, you have a different outlook. I'm looking for a guy my age, and these points aren't even an issue tbh. They expect you to have kids and to be divorced. You may have studied psychology but you aren't in your 40s.

[cheerupemokid]

Meaning what? I'm 44 so I have to stay single forever?

Meaning: Do you like cats?

Considering how much of a pussy this guy is (based on your previous comments about him) he probably "fell in love" with a Perkins waitress after she touched his shoulder. So now he's busy writing her love songs or something.

[RandomMisc]

not to be negative nancy

but odds are:

1) you cant have kids anymore
2) if you dont have kids already, red flag for new men
3) at your age unless youve had a divorce, theyll think you get around

nothing personal, but just giving you the male insight on the matter

i major in psychology so i know what im talking about(Ive also slept with my share of 35+ women unfortunately)

-StrongMeat-

Yes, he flaked on the 2nd date because of 3 things that he would have learned from her profile prior to meeting her. Makes sense.

[StrongMeat]

Yes, he flaked on the 2nd date because of 3 things that he would have learned from her profile prior to meeting her. Makes sense.

nah, hes just not interested. not rocket science

my statement was meant to be general

Strongmeat

1. I can't have kids because I got sterilised, I don't want more kids.
2. I have a 14 year old, as do most guys my age.
3. I am divorced.

You're 24, you have a different outlook. I'm looking for a guy my age, and these points aren't even an issue tbh. They expect you to have kids and to be divorced. You may have studied psychology but you aren't in your 40s.

lol i was joking about that part

my mom has the same issues you do, at the end of the day finding long term is gonna be rough because most of the people at your age are "emotionally" damaged and afraid of commitment, atleast thats how my mom has always been

good luck to you though, atleast you arent 40+ and ugly



-StrongMeat-