Been thinking about something here recently and wanted to run a few ideas past everyone
to see what you all think. I know a lot of people on here are already married so, this might
not apply so heavy to you but then again we all want to look good for our marriage partners
too.
I know that when I first startet lifting as a young man part of bodybuilding for me was to look
better for the opposite sex. I didn't want to look like a skinny bean pole and thought the ladies
would be more attracted to a more muscular, buff body. Fast-forward to today, even now when
I try to cut my calories and go down in weight I feel small and unattractive to the ladies and
decide to once again to go back to heavy lifting and eating.
I have never been a shy person so, I started to ask some of the women at my gym what
they think about it. I did it casualy and over a small period of time..didn't want to make
it wierd so, it was just through basic conversation. What results did I get?
The ladies in the gym were all for their man being fit. Most prefered muscles, six packs
were a bonus but, not nessasary. A lot like buff men but, nobody liked the pros like
Ronnie Coleman etc.
So, I asked this same question to the ladies who are in my close circle of friends but,
are not fitness/gym minded. Their answers were totally different than the women who
trained at the gym.
Here's what I found. Most want a man that is healthy and treats them nice. Now about
the physical qualities..
Many of them prefered men who were lean or on the skinny side. This seemed odd to
me and I think it's a change in our society as I think buff guys used to be more in and
now it's skinny guys thanks to movies like 'Twilight' etc. Skinny jeans are popular.
The women who liked muscles, liked them but not too much. How much?
David Becham, Brad Pitt from Fight Club and Hugh Jackson were all want they
found attractive. Pro Bodybuilders were not even on the radar and totally grossed
out by my copy of Flex magazine that I showed them.
What women liked
1. David Beckham
2. Brad Pitt in Fight Club
3. Hugh Jackson
So the final question is? For us guys who are not competing in a bodybuilding
competition would it not be better for us to train in a different way in order to
attract more ladies? Using more moderate weights and maybe running to get
in more athletic shape?
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Thread: Do women like muscle men?
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12-13-2011, 09:04 AM #1
Do women like muscle men?
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12-13-2011, 09:07 AM #2
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12-13-2011, 09:11 AM #3
Symmetry is one thing that seems to be a universal attractor.
As to what the ladies like, it depends on the lady. I've know ones that liked the androgynous anorexic look to overly muscular to the thick gruff biker build. I like looking the way that makes me happy with myself. Being reasonably confident and comfortable overall may not be a huge initial attractor but it seems to keep the attraction going.2 + 2 = 5 (for extremely large values of 2)
Try SCE to AUX
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12-13-2011, 09:15 AM #4
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12-13-2011, 09:16 AM #5
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12-13-2011, 09:19 AM #6
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12-13-2011, 09:21 AM #7
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12-13-2011, 09:23 AM #8
Depends on the culture and individual woman obviously, but most women in the world would prefer a soccer/basketball style body (lean, six pack, not massive) as the ideal. Very very few women are attracted to a huge 250lb muscle-out freak. Take a look at Cristiano Ronaldo or David Beckham or Kobe Bryant as the body that most women in my experience would prefer. Of course there are too-fat basketball players and too-skinny soccer players who don't fit this ideal.
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12-13-2011, 09:35 AM #9
Of course it depends on the woman. I think most woman prefer a guy to be fit, and lean..... but not very buff. Certainly not anywhere near buff as I'd like to be.... > like Zack King Kahn buff
But then here's something to keep in mind: Say that 1 in 100.... heck, 1 in 1000 women prefer a REALLY big, buff guy. Now lets say you happen to be the biggest, most buff guy out of 10,000, or 100,000 guys in your area. Well guess what ? Your going to have quite a few girls to choose from.
Example; I've shown the photos of ZKK to several of my female friends. Pretty much all but one responded with something like, "OMG ! That's hideous ! He looks like a freakish monster" ! {to which I'm like... "I know huh ! How freaking cool is that" ?!?! }
But I did have one female room mate (a hot Indian girl) who said about ZKK: "Wow ! He looks really nice. I bet he would be a great protector"..... Uhhh.... ZKK looks nice ? Okay. If you say so LOL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anyway, if I were working out for max appeal to women, I probably wouldn't need any more mass than I have right now (which is about 10% of what I'm trying to achieve) but instead I could just go on an cut down to like 8-10% BF, and call it a day.
Oh and, work on my abs..... but that would be a waste of time unless I could afford skin tightening surgery
Instead, I look at myself at 12-13% BF, and think > "Well yea', I still have some fat to lose..... but I'm already so freaking small / weak as it is" (comparing to my long term goals) ! As much as I do want to get below 10% BF, I'd just look lame, until I gain at least 10-15 more lbs of lean muscle.
Peace,
Fish
PS, Greg Valentino seems like a really cool dude. I have mad respect for a guy that does what he wants to do, regardless of what most others think. The guy doesn't need anybody to make up his mind for him.Last edited by FishChris; 12-13-2011 at 09:41 AM.
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12-13-2011, 09:44 AM #10
The first three guys you posted have incredibly attractive faces and the body is icing on the cake. I like fit and strong. My eyes definitely follow "the big guy" in the crowd but I also like what I call the "hockey player" physique. For me it's just not about the body, I have to find their face attractive too (and personality etc etc).
Journal but the 2020/2021 ed. ---> https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=141049421
ROAD RACES
Mississauga Marathon - Relay Challenge (my lap 8km) - 2015 - no time to record
Mississauga Marathon - 10 km - 2018 - 1:20:17
Tough Mudder (half course) - 2018 (no time to record)
Mississauga Marathon - Half Marathon - 2018 - 2:35:01
Toronto Women's 10km - 2019 - 1:12:14
Lululemon Toronto Waterfront 10km - 2019 - 1:12:20
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12-13-2011, 09:47 AM #11Journal but the 2020/2021 ed. ---> https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=141049421
ROAD RACES
Mississauga Marathon - Relay Challenge (my lap 8km) - 2015 - no time to record
Mississauga Marathon - 10 km - 2018 - 1:20:17
Tough Mudder (half course) - 2018 (no time to record)
Mississauga Marathon - Half Marathon - 2018 - 2:35:01
Toronto Women's 10km - 2019 - 1:12:14
Lululemon Toronto Waterfront 10km - 2019 - 1:12:20
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12-13-2011, 09:51 AM #12
Might as well ask, do women like big dogs. In both cases, I think there's a good deal of (not good) social conditioning that's been going on for a while now. Maybe a long time.
In other words: big = dumb/violent, remember? Right?
Yeah, not so much. But beliefs don't need to have anything to do with reality - that's the nature of dem beasts.
Without said beliefs, I'm pretty sure strength would be even more of a plus than it is, even now (and it is one, by and large, at least to some extent).
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12-13-2011, 09:56 AM #13
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12-13-2011, 09:58 AM #14
I agree +1
Look at movies like Twilight, it's pictured as romantic..seductive and something taboo. Women seem
to love the skinny guys in this movie.
Who are the buff hero's of today? Pro Wrestlers? Makes guys with any muscle mass look like
you said violent corny men.
I think it's the media's fault and it happened over the last decade or so. When did skinny jeans
become popular?
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12-13-2011, 10:06 AM #15
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12-13-2011, 10:08 AM #16
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12-13-2011, 10:09 AM #17
- Join Date: Oct 2006
- Location: Caribbean, St. Kitts and Nevis
- Age: 51
- Posts: 1,169
- Rep Power: 1544
I asked my wife about this. Her opinion is that "it all depends on the individual guy, their personality, their demeanor and how the total package works together." She said that, at least to her, there is no specific "type or level of muscularity" that works for her. She also said that as long as men avoid physical extremes (toothpick thin on one side ranging up to PHreakish bodybuilder on the other), it's probably alright, as long as their personality, loyalty, commitment, etc. are also part of the deal.
Does that clear things up or what?RAW PRs--no suit, no belt, no wraps, no spotters
Squat- 1075 lbs
Deadlift- 1250 lbs
Bench- 795 lbs
Power Clean- 665 lbs.
Barbell Curl-405 lbs.
225 Bench Press for reps-56 reps
40 yard dash-4.13 seconds (electronic official time)
vertical leap-55 inches
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12-13-2011, 10:10 AM #18
I would have probably got more female replies by doing this yes, but I would
like for all to discuss. For years I always believed that me being bigger and
more muscular was better. I still feel this way. I don't think I can bring myself
to cutting way down like the photo's shown in this thread. It looks like thats
what women like though..or at least the majority.
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12-13-2011, 10:14 AM #19
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12-13-2011, 10:18 AM #20
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12-13-2011, 10:18 AM #21
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12-13-2011, 10:19 AM #22
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12-13-2011, 10:22 AM #23
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12-13-2011, 10:30 AM #24
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12-13-2011, 10:39 AM #25
Not me!!!!! I think that might the younger generation who are in to the Abercrombie model look which is skinny guys who don't grow facial hair yet.
I had done a thread a while ago on what body type men preferred on women. I had figure model/bikini model/ and victoria secret's type model...I cut out their faces. Most of them men chose the less muscular Victoria Secret Model (i was kinda surprised)....i was sadpanda since I don't look anything like that lolLast edited by cactusflower; 12-13-2011 at 10:51 AM.
Journal but the 2020/2021 ed. ---> https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=141049421
ROAD RACES
Mississauga Marathon - Relay Challenge (my lap 8km) - 2015 - no time to record
Mississauga Marathon - 10 km - 2018 - 1:20:17
Tough Mudder (half course) - 2018 (no time to record)
Mississauga Marathon - Half Marathon - 2018 - 2:35:01
Toronto Women's 10km - 2019 - 1:12:14
Lululemon Toronto Waterfront 10km - 2019 - 1:12:20
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12-13-2011, 10:53 AM #26
- Join Date: Oct 2011
- Location: Roanoke, Virginia, United States
- Age: 47
- Posts: 90
- Rep Power: 200
I look at it that, within reasonable ranges, the physical aspect of a man (being fit, etc) is just the initial attractor. To understate it as much as possible, having a fit body such as David Beckham or Hugh Jackman is not much more than an indication that you're a healthy adult male.
Evolutionarily speaking, the fitness of a body can "lie" whereas things like the attractiveness of a face tells the entire history of a person from even before birth. If you're worried about being attractive to women, develop your personality. If you're a strong guy because that's who you are as a person, she'll be much more interested in you being strong as it integrates into who you are rather than how big your muscles are.
Of course, that's generalizing across billions of people, so there will be plenty of exceptions.Current Goals:
Bench (1xBW)/Squat (1.5xBW)/Dead (2xBW) @ 3x5
-------------------------------------------------
Bench: ? - Goal: Late Jan or Feb
Squat: ? - Goal: Late Jan or Feb
Dead: ? - Goal: January
Goals Acheived: Squat @ 200 lbs: 12-19-2011 / Squat @ 1xBW (150): 11-21-2011 / Dead @ 200 lbs: 12-5-2011 / Dead @ 1.5xBW (235): 12-14-2011
Starting Strength log: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=140048203
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12-13-2011, 11:05 AM #27
There are a lot of different reasons that people workout, go to the gym.
I'm doing this for MYSELF.
The fringe benefits are;
I feel better,
I'm healthier
I'm stronger
I can do more activities than 90% of the people my age,
What other people think, isn't my concern (except for my wife)
Some people think I look fine
Some people think I'm "bulking-up"
My mom thinks, I'm too "skinny"
What other people "think" is not the driving force behind any of this.
Example; Most people view the clean diet as crazy. Do I care? Nope.
Good luck to the OP, in trying to please women <crazy>I'm going to take the Sc0liosis curve out of my back and eliminate my nerve pain
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12-13-2011, 11:08 AM #28
- Join Date: Nov 2008
- Location: New York, United States
- Age: 51
- Posts: 645
- Rep Power: 414
I think each lady has her own preference. Some like abs, some arms...some like big...some like just fit. I like big, but not huge. I like men who arent afraid to work their legs too! Unbalanced looks silly. I love these guys that come into the gym all about their arms and they NEVER squat, so they have these little girly legs. Nice pec/delt/arm/quad definition paired up with a nice tight @ss is perfection. Ab definition is a bonus but not nec.
Stace ;)
Currently: slow bulk for the winter :)
My Program www.growthstimuloustraining.com (w/ Ryan, my awesome online trainer)
MY JOURNAL = http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=133696651&page=3
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12-13-2011, 11:09 AM #29
It depends what your definition of BIG is? But i agree with you, today's marketing.... the swimmer/nba/mens fitness build seems to be the one that gets the most oooh's and ahhhh's. Cut and leaness seems to be *"BIG"* to those not in the know. Occasionally i have run into a woman that likes thick, strong, muscular bodybuilders legs but that is few and far between ;so If i were to make an assumption i would guess that 8o% think like you say.
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12-13-2011, 11:11 AM #30
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