A plea for help

[Nermy]

Hello everyone!

Through this topic, I hope to convey pretty much the feelings of my whole life. As well as tell you about myself and what I'm trying to accomplish with my body. Perhaps to give you an insight which I'm hoping the nicest or most commited of you would be ever so kind to receive and acknowledge with help and advice for me. If you are a person who after reading this thinks they could perhaps motivate me or help me to accomplish my goals, I will of course help you back as much as I can. Also, I'll give everything back that I take. Any knowledge you pass on to me I will be more than willing to share it and pass on the love if that is what you wish!

Anyway, my name is Matthew Theobald I'm 19 years old. Soon enough I will be 20 years old. I work as I.T Support/Website development, so the majority of my time spent appears to be sitting or lying down! I'm not opposed to hard work, exercise and labor but nobody gets fat behind their own back, I don't exercise.

I've been chubby most of my life, the slimmest I've ever been as a teenager was 14 stone. I was relatively thin, but going through a growth spurt. Eventually my waist fit proportionally and then some more. At 19 I'm now 18 stone and i'm 6ft 3" tall. The biggest I've ever been. It's not so bad, I know I'll never be thin but obviously the excess weight is something that has bothered me.

It has a massive effect on my everyday life, I've been bullied when I was younger, I still have the anxiety issues. I will go through the day pulling at my t-shirt to try and hide my belly. My craving for food, I do not truly understand. I'm constantly aware of my weight. I want to be a person who can just get on and enjoy life without having to think about my weight being a problem.

What I've done in the past, is rather moronic. I've gone on crazy diets, crazy exercise schemes and done all sorts. The biggest threat to most of them if I'm honest was my parents. They have a natural ability to try and stop me from losing the weight which I think was fine. As I said, the diets and exercise was crazy anyway. But there comes a time when puppy fat is a lazy slob in a chair.

What I really want is this:

A diet, not crazy. Something that's going to be healthy. Substitutes for my unhealthy lifestyle.
An exercise routine, what I should be doing to lose weight and possibly gain some muscle.
I'd like to go down from 18 stone to perhaps 14. I would just like to add that in, If i'm gaining muscle, i don't mind gaining weight in the process.

What i'm aiming to do is go to a gym 2 days a week, i may be pushed to do more. I do work 9-5 monday to friday however.

Thanks in advance to anyone who will help me.

[Anzy]

Tldr version: I'm overweight, have anxiety and non supportive parents.


First off...deal with your anxiety. Talk to your doctor about your symptoms. There are several medications on the market with minimal side effects your doctor can prescribe. You may also want to ask him about cognitive behavioral therapy as it can be extremely beneficial. anxiety issues commonly co-occurr with eating disorders (this is not a diagnosis at all) so you want to make sure its a road you ate not on/heading down. You may want to mention to your doctor if you are having feelings of guilt around your eating.
I'm unclear about all your family dynamics, but family therapy is another option...sorry as a clinicians had to address that first.

On to the weight. Go to the nutrition section and read the stickies there to learn how many calories you need and your minimum requirements for protein and fat, and fill the rest with carbs.

At this point anything that gets you moving around is a good thing..if its the gym, walking your dog, or Zumba, or whatever, go for it. Once you get used to that you can check out the stickies here for some more program options that are effective for a beginner....

Good luck brother!

[mellowmarshall]

Talk to your doctor about your symptoms. There are several medications on the market with minimal side effects your doctor can prescribe.

I won't ever advocate drugs, unless you have a "real" condition like diabetes or something. I've tried most of them (lexapro, wellbutrin, strattera, ********, paxil) with no helpful effects. In fact, most of them made me feel worse after a few weeks.

As for your family's opinion - you are an adult. Nobody's opinion but your own matters in the long run. Its fine to be open minded but take some responsibility for your own life and do what's right for you.

Take it slow. 2 days a week is a perfect goal for starting out. Do *anything* active like Anzy said, just do it consistently. In fact, don't even worry about your diet or calories just yet. At most, just make yourself aware of what/how much you're eating. Getting in shape is a process and a lifestyle change, and slow steady progress is what you should be aiming for.

Take your initial post and start a log, update it every time you work out. I want to hear back from you about what you've done to get started this week.

[jf83]

Just twice a week?? Why not from Monday through Friday??

Monday: Chest/ Triceps, followed by 25 minutes of cardio (run at 6-7 mph on the treadmill)
Tuesday: Legs
Wednesday: Back/Biceps, followed by 25 minutes of cardio
Thursdays: Shoulders/Traps, followed by 25 minutes of cardio
Friday: 45 minutes cardio only

Go to the exercise section and pick 4 exercises for each muscle group and do 3 sets of each, so you get 12 sets total per body part, aim for 8-12 reps.

Just DONT QUIT, transforming your body is all about consistency and discipline....its a slow process, won't happen overnight but you will definitely see results and looking yourself transforming in the mirror is the best motivation I know..just keep at it.

Hire a trainer for a week to get a routine set up for you if you feel completely clueless or ask an experienced buddy or someone at the gym for help, people at the gym will definitely help you...don't ever be afraid to ask for help or assistance .... it's like a brotherhood, we will gladly help you.

Stick to chicken, fish, low fat meats, eggs for protein sources (Protein is what builds muscle) and sweet potatoes, wheat bread, brown rice for carbs as an example...plain natural foods....nothing processed...cut the sugars (no soda or juices), drink water or low fat milk and don't eat crap like mcdonalds...you know what is healthy and what isn't, use common sense.

[Nermy]

Tldr version: I'm overweight, have anxiety and non supportive parents.


First off...deal with your anxiety. Talk to your doctor about your symptoms. There are several medications on the market with minimal side effects your doctor can prescribe. You may also want to ask him about cognitive behavioral therapy as it can be extremely beneficial. anxiety issues commonly co-occurr with eating disorders (this is not a diagnosis at all) so you want to make sure its a road you ate not on/heading down. You may want to mention to your doctor if you are having feelings of guilt around your eating.
I'm unclear about all your family dynamics, but family therapy is another option...sorry as a clinicians had to address that first.

On to the weight. Go to the nutrition section and read the stickies there to learn how many calories you need and your minimum requirements for protein and fat, and fill the rest with carbs.

At this point anything that gets you moving around is a good thing..if its the gym, walking your dog, or Zumba, or whatever, go for it. Once you get used to that you can check out the stickies here for some more program options that are effective for a beginner....

Good luck brother!

Thank-you Anzy. My anxiety, I think will be fixed when I start seeing results in weight loss or muscle gain. I will bear it in mind though, I have had the issues for a long time so it will be interesting to see if those things happen even when I get down to a good weight or size. Ideally, I am to post pictures of myself here when I start feeling as if I'm doing quite well for myself. So perhaps people on here can look at the images and push me out of that anxiety. The biggest problem I've had with my thinking was when I was a teenager. I was thin then, with the growing spurts but I know I felt fat. Which I guess is a problem. I'm not sure if that is something that is curable, I think everyone strives to be better. But confidence will boost with results I'm sure.

I won't ever advocate drugs, unless you have a "real" condition like diabetes or something. I've tried most of them (lexapro, wellbutrin, strattera, ********, paxil) with no helpful effects. In fact, most of them made me feel worse after a few weeks.

As for your family's opinion - you are an adult. Nobody's opinion but your own matters in the long run. Its fine to be open minded but take some responsibility for your own life and do what's right for you.

Take it slow. 2 days a week is a perfect goal for starting out. Do *anything* active like Anzy said, just do it consistently. In fact, don't even worry about your diet or calories just yet. At most, just make yourself aware of what/how much you're eating. Getting in shape is a process and a lifestyle change, and slow steady progress is what you should be aiming for.

Take your initial post and start a log, update it every time you work out. I want to hear back from you about what you've done to get started this week.

Thankyou Mellowmarshall! I do want to avoid drugs as much as possible. Are things such as steroids okay though? I always see impressive results and whilst I'm all for doing it naturally I'm wondering why more people don't do it. As far as I've seen there can be side effects, which coupled with strength and muscle gain can be devastating. If i'm told to steer clear I shall do that. But again, if they are good and help to boost the process of muscle gain I wouldn't be opposed if there was a good enough reason to do it.

Of course, even as impatient and unmotivated as I can be however, I know results don't happen overnight. I will strive to keep to some kind of plan that keeps me healthy and fit and hopefully just looking a little better. Over the next week I'll write up on every meal I have and anything I intake. I will post it publicly and make you aware of it too. That way I'm pushed a little further. It may sound daft but when I'm just doing it for myself I can't motivate myself enough (probably because i'm easily pleased). So your help is greatly received. I'll come back to you with those results anyway.

Minor hitch in my plans but I aim to have been to gym by tomorrow (tuesday) and friday. I'll keep you updated!

Just twice a week?? Why not from Monday through Friday??

Monday: Chest/ Triceps, followed by 25 minutes of cardio (run at 6-7 mph on the treadmill)
Tuesday: Legs
Wednesday: Back/Biceps, followed by 25 minutes of cardio
Thursdays: Shoulders/Traps, followed by 25 minutes of cardio
Friday: 45 minutes cardio only

Go to the exercise section and pick 4 exercises for each muscle group and do 3 sets of each, so you get 12 sets total per body part, aim for 8-12 reps.

Just DONT QUIT, transforming your body is all about consistency and discipline....its a slow process, won't happen overnight but you will definitely see results and looking yourself transforming in the mirror is the best motivation I know..just keep at it.

Hire a trainer for a week to get a routine set up for you if you feel completely clueless or ask an experienced buddy or someone at the gym for help, people at the gym will definitely help you...don't ever be afraid to ask for help or assistance .... it's like a brotherhood, we will gladly help you.

Stick to chicken, fish, low fat meats, eggs for protein sources (Protein is what builds muscle) and sweet potatoes, wheat bread, brown rice for carbs as an example...plain natural foods....nothing processed...cut the sugars (no soda or juices), drink water or low fat milk and don't eat crap like mcdonalds...you know what is healthy and what isn't, use common sense.

Although I'm a fatty, I'm very consistent with the idea that too much of something is bad. I've been on the extreme before, but I know in myself personally I cannot go from nothing to five days a week. I'll burn out and stop doing it entirely. One day I am to be possibly doing 5 days, if I seriously enjoy it. But for now, healthy is the main priority.

I wont quit as long as I've got this kind of support behind me! This is overwhelming! Thank-you for those exercise tips, I'm gonna give those a go. But i'll try and fix it up for monday, tuesday and perhaps wednesday if I feel up to it.

Are personal trainers a good option to go down? Perhaps I could pay someone who works at the gym, I believe they do personal sessions.

I find your diet information very interesting, I wont go on a diet just yet. But I will be considering what foods to eat. Is there a substitute for fish (there is no fish i've eaten and liked so far). Or could I just cut that out entirely. I know it's beneficial. But this isn't like vegetables, I can manage them but fish is something I doubt I will get within 10 feet of. Sounds irrational I know!

[mellowmarshall]

I find your diet information very interesting, I wont go on a diet just yet. But I will be considering what foods to eat. Is there a substitute for fish (there is no fish i've eaten and liked so far). Or could I just cut that out entirely. I know it's beneficial. But this isn't like vegetables, I can manage them but fish is something I doubt I will get within 10 feet of. Sounds irrational I know!

Fish isn't mandatory, but its an awesome source of lean protein and you need the omega-3 fatty acids. A lot of people here substitute fish oil or flax(seed) oil and there's nothing wrong with that. As for steroids - they are just like any other drug. I wouldn't touch them.

This is all I'll put in my body:

Whey protein
Flax/fish oil
Multivitamin
Creatine mono

This stuff occurs naturally and provides solid benefits.

Are personal trainers a good option to go down? Perhaps I could pay someone who works at the gym, I believe they do personal sessions.

Your body will provide pretty good feedback about what its capable of, and the combined knowledge on this site is ridiculous. So basically, you'll only be paying for someone to help motivate you. But wouldn't you rather learn how to motivate yourself? Isn't that part of the problem to begin with?

[Anzy]

Thank-you Anzy. My anxiety, I think will be fixed when I start seeing results in weight loss or muscle gain. I will bear it in mind though, I have had the issues for a long time so it will be interesting to see if those things happen even when I get down to a good weight or size. Ideally, I am to post pictures of myself here when I start feeling as if I'm doing quite well for myself. So perhaps people on here can look at the images and push me out of that anxiety. The biggest problem I've had with my thinking was when I was a teenager. I was thin then, with the growing spurts but I know I felt fat. Which I guess is a problem. I'm not sure if that is something that is curable, I think everyone strives to be better. But confidence will boost with results I'm sure.

Thankyou Mellowmarshall! I do want to avoid drugs as much as possible. Are things such as steroids okay though? I always see impressive results and whilst I'm all for doing it naturally I'm wondering why more people don't do it. As far as I've seen there can be side effects, which coupled with strength and muscle gain can be devastating. If i'm told to steer clear I shall do that. But again, if they are good and help to boost the process of muscle gain I wouldn't be opposed if there was a good enough reason to do it.

Of course, even as impatient and unmotivated as I can be however, I know results don't happen overnight. I will strive to keep to some kind of plan that keeps me healthy and fit and hopefully just looking a little better. Over the next week I'll write up on every meal I have and anything I intake. I will post it publicly and make you aware of it too. That way I'm pushed a little further. It may sound daft but when I'm just doing it for myself I can't motivate myself enough (probably because i'm easily pleased). So your help is greatly received. I'll come back to you with those results anyway.

Minor hitch in my plans but I aim to have been to gym by tomorrow (tuesday) and friday. I'll keep you updated!


Although I'm a fatty, I'm very consistent with the idea that too much of something is bad. I've been on the extreme before, but I know in myself personally I cannot go from nothing to five days a week. I'll burn out and stop doing it entirely. One day I am to be possibly doing 5 days, if I seriously enjoy it. But for now, healthy is the main priority.

I wont quit as long as I've got this kind of support behind me! This is overwhelming! Thank-you for those exercise tips, I'm gonna give those a go. But i'll try and fix it up for monday, tuesday and perhaps wednesday if I feel up to it.

Are personal trainers a good option to go down? Perhaps I could pay someone who works at the gym, I believe they do personal sessions.

I find your diet information very interesting, I wont go on a diet just yet. But I will be considering what foods to eat. Is there a substitute for fish (there is no fish i've eaten and liked so far). Or could I just cut that out entirely. I know it's beneficial. But this isn't like vegetables, I can manage them but fish is something I doubt I will get within 10 feet of. Sounds irrational I know!

There are no magical foods..if you don't like fish, don't eat it. Have chicken or pork or beef. Eat what you like to hit your protein, fat, and carb needs.

Most personal trainers are going to be garbage, give you a crappy program, and sell you supplements you don't need (pro-tip: you only need fish oil and maybe q vitamin if you can get a wholesome diet). The exception is someone that can point out flaws in your form when doing lifts. Other than that, just start reading the stickies for q program...and don't listen to the guy in this thread giving you an advanced program. He's trying to help, but someone in your situation is not trade for that. You want a full body program 2 or 3 times a week. It will be far more effective than all that cardio...losing weight happens through diet...you can't outrun a crappy diet.

Speaking of diet, start it now. What are you waiting for?
Go to the nutrition section, read the stickies, and do it. You lose all credibility by saying you'll do that later. There is never going to be a time when everything in life is going perfectly and the weight just flies off.

[shawn122]

Welcome!

As someone who has struggled with weight issues I understand where you are coming from.

Alot of good information has been posted already. If you ate looking for a good simple beginner program I would have a look at All Pros Beginner workout on the stickies.

It has generated lots of attention and many people have seen great results. Its a full body workout that is done 3 times a week which is a good pace for a beginner.

There are lots of great people on this forum that will be here to provide encouragement so don't give up. Slow and steady and you will reach your goals!