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  1. #1
    Registered User Mulondingus's Avatar
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    should i have kept him NC'd

    My bf recently was introduced to my kids, all was well, they liked him, we started it slow.
    But recently a lot of chit has coincided to make a great relationship really probably more stress than what's worth
    Only issue is in my mind Ive taken the time to decide that he was worth it to meet my kids, and therefore feel like I need to stay more invested.
    If you have questions ill answer but theres so much deats I was writing a skeleteon of our relationship dynamic it was 5 pages long, not double spaced. So fark trying to keep it simple.

    This basic is in order of occurrence within about 1 month span
    >his father (who had a stroke years prior) fell and was in acoma - woke up but p-much just "existing"
    >my kid jumped on him and sucker punched him while he was sleeping he stormed out very angry (he and I having doubts about how he can handle it)
    >My kid is going to get corrected eye surgery on his turned in eye
    >a car show he plans for to do "hood rat **** with his friends" is within the same week
    >I freak out because he won't respond to anything I say cause "this is his weekend to do hood rat **** with his friends" and to elicit response I sort of mention some girl on snap chat - I really don't think he's talking to anyone, at the time I was being irrational and petty - typical woman before she spits blood from her coot for 5 days
    (BTW it worked! I "ruined" his weekend to do hood rat **** with his friends") and now he not only needs space from kids he wants space from me - a month)
    >a man who he thinks of as a father figure - dies a few days before his birthday.



    So pretty much he's depressed but he won't talk about it and also he won't talk about what we are gonna do about us, because obviously he's the type to not wanna talk it out

    Well we've had arguments and I even said "consider yourself single" I even drove to his house to drop off clothes he's left at my house and also his present cause I didn't see him for that I didn't wanna be the petty bish who burns or keeps shirts or whatever crazy sloots do, and I had 2 of his all time favorite shirts. Well then I caved and unblocked his number and texted him, we pretended like our break up argument never happened.
    Now we sort of barely talk, I did make a list of all the chit above and even texted him saying I apologize for acting like our relationship took precedent over all the other stuff he's going through that I've been insensitive and I can be more patient with his intermittent checking out.


    CLIFFFFFFFFS
    +he's going through chit
    +we both work/school live 45 min apart
    +Got kids
    +I'm an *******
    +How keep love alive


    I just need general opinions, people giving me questions to ask myself
    Last edited by Mulondingus; 11-04-2014 at 06:26 PM.
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  2. #2
    Registered User funnymaskxx's Avatar
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    i need cliffs
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  3. #3
    Registered User Kev1972's Avatar
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    If he's smart he already moved on. Never stick your dick in crazy.
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  4. #4
    Registered User Mulondingus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Kev1972 View Post
    If he's smart he already moved on. Never stick your dick in crazy.
    The feels
    srs
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  5. #5
    Registered User jamielark50's Avatar
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    he may not be crazy...a lotta you females love to think men have 0 problems, 0 emotional issues, 0 anything, you guys love to think we're basically robots who just "do" but reality is men are more emotional then most females, the dudes probably a wreck inside, if you pushed him during tough times he'll gain resentment and just get annoyed by you best thing to do OP is try and get to know him as a human being first before you rush him along to the tiffany and co store for a ring

    P.S never ruin a mans time with his friends, do you realize how hard it is to keep friends in this day and age? seriously...if a female ever did this to me, i'd chuck up deuces faster then she can blink and tell her to forget i ever existed..real talk
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  6. #6
    Registered User Mulondingus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by funnymaskxx View Post
    i need cliffs
    >Still texting about barely, haven't seen each other in almost 2 months
    >He stuck his Dink in crazy, and didn't move on
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  7. #7
    Registered User Mulondingus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jamielark50 View Post
    he may not be crazy...a lotta you females love to think men have 0 problems, 0 emotional issues, 0 anything, you guys love to think we're basically robots who just "do" but reality is men are more emotional then most females, the dudes probably a wreck inside, if you pushed him during tough times he'll gain resentment and just get annoyed by you best thing to do OP is try and get to know him as a human being first before you rush him along to the tiffany and co store for a ring
    That's why I sent him that last part and have just done the "funny pics" or stuff to keep him hnnngg just generally "how was your day" "Love you" just don't know how much time I should wait till I think I can assume I have already pushed him too far into that no coming back zone
    I know relationchits are 50/50
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  8. #8
    Registered User jamielark50's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mulondingus View Post
    That's why I sent him that last part and have just done the "funny pics" or stuff to keep him hnnngg just generally "how was your day" "Love you" just don't know how much time I should wait till I think I can assume I have already pushed him too far into that no coming back zone
    I know relationchits are 50/50
    don't try and take the relationship back to where it "use" to be..thats dead and gone, you fuked that right up yourself, and dont say "i love you" ..show him, go make him dinner or something, clean his house, it sounds stupid as fuk but guys actually appreciate that stuff

    im lucky ive never been in a real relationship, sh!t is stupid as hell in my opinion
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  9. #9
    Registered User Mulondingus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jamielark50 View Post
    don't try and take the relationship back to where it "use" to be..thats dead and gone, you fuked that right up yourself, and dont say "i love you" ..show him, go make him dinner or something, clean his house, it sounds stupid as fuk but guys actually appreciate that stuff

    IDK whats with you females and rushing us men along to the tiffany and co store..legit, everytime a girl does this to me i dip ship cuz like c'mon i have a life to create/career to handle etc and so should you, people need to learn to just chill
    Edited


    I have my kids, work 30hrs a week, in school full time, he lives 45 min away, he works 50+ hour a week its really hard Id do that in an instant if I had no obligations

    Would leaving him a letter for him at his house be creepy or thoughtful. I also don't know exactly what I would say.
    Legit only relationship I've been in is with the father of my kids and ill just leave it at "he wasn't ideal"


    ALSO he sort of rushed it along, before he met the kids I really warned him, told him we could wait longer etcetc.
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  10. #10
    Registered User MrBungle11's Avatar
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    how long have you been seeing each other?
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  11. #11
    Registered User Mulondingus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MrBungle11 View Post
    how long have you been seeing each other?
    Going on for about 9 months
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  12. #12
    Registered User MrBungle11's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mulondingus View Post
    Going on for about 9 months
    Just saw you haven't seen him in 2 months...at this point I would consider it over. Has he made any effort to keep in contact or is it one sided?
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  13. #13
    Registered User Mulondingus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MrBungle11 View Post
    Just saw you haven't seen him in 2 months...at this point I would consider it over. Has he made any effort to keep in contact or is it one sided?
    God I'm so afraid of even answering cause I know whatever I say is pseudo gonna defend his actions or lack there of and that's farrrrkkkkkkkkkeddd
    He drives/ installs heavy appliances all day I can understand not texting then, I usually get to him first with the good morning or what have you cause I'm trying so hard. And at night hell text me and stuff till either gym or bed time ( he drives 45 min to work so he wakes up at 5 doesn't get home til 8 - then he lifts)

    Part of me wants to say its understandable and that's why us spending that night a week together was so crucial
    The other part makes me think he's just disinterested but still wants me to think we are something idk maybe he knows he's gonna crush my spirit
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  14. #14
    Registered User MrBungle11's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mulondingus View Post
    God I'm so afraid of even answering cause I know whatever I say is pseudo gonna defend his actions or lack there of and that's farrrrkkkkkkkkkeddd
    He drives/ installs heavy appliances all day I can understand not texting then, I usually get to him first with the good morning or what have you cause I'm trying so hard. And at night hell text me and stuff till either gym or bed time ( he drives 45 min to work so he wakes up at 5 doesn't get home til 8 - then he lifts)

    Part of me wants to say its understandable and that's why us spending that night a week together was so crucial
    The other part makes me think he's just disinterested but still wants me to think we are something idk maybe he knows he's gonna crush my spirit
    Sounds like you are just as busy as him, yet he can find 30 seconds to send a message during the day? If he isnt putting in as much as you are then I wouldnt waste my time
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    Text him some sexy shots, see what he says. If he wants to meet, you still have a chance. If he doesn't want to, its over. If its over just accept it and don't be crazy. You've already gone stage 5.
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    Originally Posted by Mulondingus View Post
    Edited


    I have my kids, work 30hrs a week, in school full time, he lives 45 min away, he works 50+ hour a week its really hard Id do that in an instant if I had no obligations

    Would leaving him a letter for him at his house be creepy or thoughtful. I also don't know exactly what I would say.
    Legit only relationship I've been in is with the father of my kids and ill just leave it at "he wasn't ideal"


    ALSO he sort of rushed it along, before he met the kids I really warned him, told him we could wait longer etcetc.
    i don't know the guy personally, maybe he rushed it thinking things were going to be different and it turned out to be opposite of what he had in mind

    Although 2 months...well, you'll be lucky if he's still attracted to you
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