Ok, so OP actually asked me what happened to me, and since I haven't had as many reps as I've gotten from my post in this thread for like a whole year, I decided to take the time and write what actually happened with my ex and share the story with all of you, for those who actually want to know and take the time to read it.
What happened is, she was very stressed with school back then, she was ending her major and had just left her job ( a decision we both took, I would pay the rent alone for like 3 months while she would study 24/7 ). At this point our relationship was at an all time low, I'm a very nice type of person especially in a couple and she would kind of walk over my feet by then, but I would let it go because she was stressed and I understood that.
We haven't had sex for like a whole month because she was so stressed her periods were permanent ( no joke tho ). I'm still not sure if they really were permanent of if it was more of an excuse not to have sex, I still wonder, but at the same time, she enjoyed our sex a lot, when we had it that is, lol. Believe me sex is so important in a couple. By then my sex drive was so driving me crazy that even I would bitch about little things I normally wouldn't, having a bad attitude, etc.
So one day I tell her I'm going to go get groceries and she replies with such a bad attitude, I was like damn, is this what we're up to now? **** that **** babe, let's talk it out.
After talking for 5 mins, I open up the doors for her- without ever thinking she'd actually go through them, I asked her those questions so she'd realize ****: questions like, would you be better single at this point?
Well little did I know she ****ing took the opportunity and dumped me then. I was in shock. Yeah our relationship was ****, but it is normal and will always happen in a couple, none of us did another wrong. I try to talk her out of it, but it doesn't work. At that point I realize that I need to man the **** up and accept her decision because clearly, I didn't deserved to be dumped and I needed to be strong for my own hapiness.
What ****ed me up the most is that 2 weeks prior to that, she told me some strong bull****, how she has had been with her ex boyfriend for much longer but was never that much in love, how she never let another guy move his furniture up in her appartment, etc. How can you be so in love, nothing happens and you dump someone the next day?
That night we still talked a lot after- she told me how precious I was, and how she wanted to keep me in her life forever, as a friend. Sounds like your regular bull****, but we were so close, hey I was 24/7 with her, when I'd leave the house for 30 mins, we'd text eachothers- and we both enjoyed it. So she actually was my bestfriend, it made a lot of sense to at least stay friends. She told me she knew I'd be hurt, and that she would be there for me, that I could call her anytime and she'd answer, because she wanted to help me through it.
Well the dumb ****ing whore lied. 3 days later I text her, no answer. Mind you, I know her- she ALWAYS has her cell on her- if she doesn't answer, it's because she doesn't want to. I call her, no answer. Eventually I freak out and start mass texting her, even thinking something happened to her. At one point she replies, saying we shouldn't be seeing or talking to eachothers at all, because it just makes things worst, etc. ( this is the point where she forces herself to believe she made a right choice, and would rather hurt me then face the ****ing truth ).
Fast forward 2 weeks later, I kind-of got over it. I focused on the gym, arleady had sex with someone else, thinking about her less and less. I go out with my friends in a club, get drunk as ****. I got a girl that asked me to come see her and her friend with my friend, so we take my car. In the car, he told me he saw my ex the day before- in another club, where all my best friends were, and how she kissed 3 guys back to back, in front of everyone, acting like a ****ing whore all night, being flirty with everyone even my friends ( one of the guys she kissed was a 'friend' if you can call it that at that point ).
I'm a very emotional person mind you, and I'm very drunk at this point ( no comment on drunk driving ), I enter the biggest rage ever of my life. It's about 4AM and the guy she kissed that was my friend is a bartender and I know he leaves the bar he works at at 5AM. I drop off my friend, txt the girls tell them to forget it, and drive right to the bar where my 'friend' worked. I call up one of my best friends and explain to him the situation, and how I'm going to ****ing mike tyson bite the ear off of that mother ****er. But my friend enlightens me and tells me I'd do me no good and all that jazz. I finally leave before the guy ever got out of his workplace.
At this point I text my ex about 30 txt messages, but this time I let everything out- all my rage- everything I thought about her breaking up with me. How she was clearly cruel, acted like I was a piece of **** when I treated her like a princess. I went all out. I told her EVERYTHING I wanted to tell her- how I thought she couldn't handle having me in her life, probably because her father let her down as a teen when he kicked her out of his house because his new girlfriend asked to, etc. Anything provocative I found, I wrote it.
The next day I wake up and see she replied some bull**** about how she owe me nothing and that kind of ****. I told her she could go **** herself and that while she did not owe me anything, she should at least have had the decency to owe herself respect.
After that we talked some, mostly through text msgs. I asked her, how can you lose all your values like that and change from being the person I knew for so long to someone else completely? She replied with 'damn Vincent, forget your ****ing values, they'll never make you happy'. Mind you, I value my values a fkg ton- they're almost codes I live by. She knew that, and not only that, but she would tell me she thought the same, about how being honest, reliable, being a good person, not hurting people, etc. was very important to her.
Then I was completely destroyed, not because I got dumped- but I just couldn't accept the fact that for a ****ing long time, every single day I was with someone I clearly had no idea of. I thought I knew her- I didn't. And I couldn't accept that. It's as if anyone I could meet, get to know, get to trust, even after years, could just end up being someone totally different out of nowhere. It ruined my life for a couple of months, I got into alcohol hard for 3 months after that, like getting dead-drunk 6/7 days... At my birthday I decided it was time to stop it, and stopped drinking for 2 months. 1 month after I stopped drinking I arleady felt MUCH better.
Now it's been like 8 months or something and I'm totally cured. Mind you I'm 22 now, I was 21 and my ex was 25. Clearly she just still didn't know what she wanted, or maybe she just panicked because at 25 when you're ending your major and you're with a guy that you could end up spending your life with, you feel as if your fun, care-less little kiddish life ended and you enter adulthood, actually have no idea what the dumb ****ing whore went through. I learned that I am much better then her, and after seeing a **** ton of people get dumped after, I still do not regret living my emotions to the fullest- I personally believe that a person that admits he his hurt, is 10x stronger then a person that just tries to shake it off and act like they're fine. I'm glad I faced my demons, even though I went through ****ing hell for about 4 months.
I am definitely totally over it and learned a **** ton of things through this. So yeah, this is my story, I never wrote it on the misc before because I knew a couple of persons IRL check the misc and actually make sure to check what I post from time to time just for **** and giggles, but I guess if someone can read this and actually walk in my shoes for a little while maybe it'll help, maybe not, but I sure as hell would've liked to read a story like this when it happened to me, just to know I wasn't alone in my nightmare.
Oh and one last thing. Believe me when I say this- going out and seeing your friends helps, but alcohol does not. It's a depressant that will get you hooked and will make your life hell during a breakup.
Bookmarks