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  1. #1
    Registered User BrainChild's Avatar
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    CEO JP MORGAN writes back to a gold digger on some forum

    A Reply From CEO of J.P. Morgan To A Pretty Girl Seeking A Rich Husband".. !

    A young 'n pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

    ... --------------------------​--------------------------
    Title: What Should I do to Marry A Rich Guy?
    --------------------------​--------------------------

    I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style 'n good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

    You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

    My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

    I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

    Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income,'n it seems that this is my upper limit.

    If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

    I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
    1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names 'n addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
    2) Which age group should I target?
    3) Why most wives of the riches are only average-looking? I've met a few girls who don't have looks 'n are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
    4) How do you decide who can be your wife, 'n who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

    Ms. Pretty

    A Philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

    Dear Ms. Pretty,
    I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

    My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope
    everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

    From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

    Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" 'n "money" : Person A provides beauty,'n Person B pays for it, fair 'n square.

    However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

    Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, 'n you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

    By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".
    If the trade value dropped we will sell it 'n it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

    Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. 'n by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

    Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me.

    signed,
    J.P. Morgan CEO...



    not sure which forum this from....found on facebook

    but the man speaks truth

    obv not written by jp morgan....but, it's a good read
    Last edited by BrainChild; 11-01-2011 at 04:22 PM.
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    rep SydCBDNSW 3 times cause i misread post
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  2. #2
    Professional Miscer Strengthftw's Avatar
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    this is new
    o
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  3. #3
    kush flavaJ's Avatar
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    old, and not CEO of JP Morgan. It was a craigslist ad, lol.
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  4. #4
    Registered User Ice-9's Avatar
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    Obviously isn't from the CEO of JP Morgan (grammar police, anymore?).
    Funny nonetheless.
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  5. #5
    Registered User ilBuono's Avatar
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  6. #6
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    This happened
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  7. #7
    'Sup Layziebones's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BrainChild View Post

    Dear Ms. Pretty,
    I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

    My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope
    everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

    From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

    Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" 'n "money" : Person A provides beauty,'n Person B pays for it, fair 'n square.

    However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year.

    Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, 'n you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

    By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".
    If the trade value dropped we will sell it 'n it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

    Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. 'n by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

    Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me.

    signed,
    J.P. Morgan CEO...



    not sure which forum this from....found on facebook

    but the man speaks truth
    Nope sorry.

    I refuse to believe a CEO does not know the difference between advise and advice.
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  8. #8
    Banned DMR4494's Avatar
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    Not JP Morgan. He would have better **** to do with his time.
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  9. #9
    Platinum Subscriber sleet83's Avatar
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  10. #10
    Thread Killer Riskoe's Avatar
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    BRB CEO of JP Morgan cant spell.
    Arguing online is like running in the special Olympics, even if you win...you're still retarded.
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  11. #11
    Registered User Romanus122's Avatar
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    Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. 'n by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.
    CEO of JP Morgan?

    Ok then, chuck How's the Fisher Price "My first threads" book fairing you? xoxo
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  12. #12
    MIZ-ZOU NCK MIZ's Avatar
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    hard to believe the CEO of JP Morgan doesn't know the difference between advice and advise. I would advice you? Or...I would advise you...
    "When you get a BS you think you know everything
    When you get your MS you realize you know nothing
    When you get your PhD you still realize you know nothing but it is ok because now you know no one else does either"
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  13. #13
    Banned ahmedaz's Avatar
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    Good post by the "CEO" but there is no way thats the CEO of JP Morgan. I'm in the financial services industry and the CEO of any entity would know..

    1) appreciation asset??

    Appreciating asset

    2) depreciation asset??

    Depreciating asset

    3) every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position".
    4) you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

    A kid at grammar school speaks better English.
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  14. #14
    Registered User WhatUpBro's Avatar
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    Even if it is fake, she got raped.
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  15. #15
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    I doubt that's really a CEO but I lawl'd @

    If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me.
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  16. #16
    Registered User Focusfire777's Avatar
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    Yeah because the CEO of one of the largest investment banks in the world browses forums during his lunch hour.
    "The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights." - Muhammad Ali
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  17. #17
    Get ripped or die mirin' BetaPhaggot's Avatar
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    Damn, lots of CEOs finding their way out of the misc and on to other forums
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  18. #18
    Registered User BrainChild's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Focusfire777 View Post
    Yeah because the CEO of one of the largest investment banks in the world browses forums during his lunch hour.
    bill gates said he browses forums once and a while.....
    My mom thinks i'm cool


    GO CANUCKS GO

    rep SydCBDNSW 3 times cause i misread post
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  19. #19
    Registered User dopemcee's Avatar
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    i believe it was the CEO of enron


    cuz clearly only that moron would type such grammatically incorrect response...
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  20. #20
    pls Dr_Dolan's Avatar
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    well I thought it was funny
    S&P
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