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  1. #1
    Registered User AestheticGod941's Avatar
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    Looking for funny POF "about me" section to use on profile to troll!

    help me out brah's. i don't care if it's a copy/pasta that you throw ITT, just give me some funny sh*t.

    will rep all those that are good or that i can alter/work with. i'm excited to see what the MISC can come up with.

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  2. #2
    Registered User HardenupCuz's Avatar
    Join Date: Oct 2011
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    I am a shallow, conceited, arrogant prick. I can also be the most sincere, thoughtful, gentleman you meet. I believe life is all about taking chances and meeting new people, experiencing new things, and having your perceptions altered. People think they have a "type." People think I have a "type." I prefer not to categorize people.

    Personally, I like to go out to bars, museums, clubs, restaurants, malls, etc. I like to have a good time wherever I am and I love to laugh and make others laugh. In my time alone I enjoy keeping up with the news, staying fit, and drinking wine. I love to cook at home, kick back in my robe and watch movies with a spicy cigar or smooth scotch...or both. I do give foot rubs if I like you.

    If you're the type who just looks at pictures to decide who you will talk to, that's great; I can be just as one-dimensional as you. If you actually read profiles that's cool, too; I love conversation.

    Please don't waste my time if you're still "figuring out what you want" or any of that BS. You need to know you want me and be up front if you don't. I don't respond to games. I'm mature enough to walk away and I hope you are, too.

    I love music of all sorts. I'll get down with whatever's good. I've got my tastes but I'm not a snob. I like Lady Gaga as much as I do Sinatra, however I hate the Black Eyed Peas.

    My two favorite movies are...
    1. Robocop
    2. The Adventures of Milo & Otis

    If you don't need a drunken night of karaoke to loosen up and you can laugh at Beavis & Butt-Head then we might get along. My ideal is someone who can be happy wrapping up in a blanket and watching Jersey Shore. You'll have to put up with a lot of Arnold Schwarzenegger memorabilia laying around, though.

    I'm on here to meet people. Take a chance and message me.
    “Champions aren´t made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them - a desire, a dream, a vision.”

    - Muhammad Ali
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  3. #3
    Registered Bro franchise16's Avatar
    Join Date: Apr 2007
    Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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    My old one was good lol I wrote it originally but plenty have used it

    About you:

    You are not some special gem of a woman that's just picky and hasn't found the right guy yet. Chances are you're a little more than 'a few extra pounds' over weight, are not very attractive, have kids or have some sort of abrasive character trait that has rendered you un-f*ckable by every other guy you've come across in real life. If neither of these are the case then congratulations you are here for the same reason I am - to get laid. (Unless you are some unfortunate combination of more than one of those things)

    This does not give you the right to type out an entire 'about me' section with the type of guys who cannot message you (ie. if you're short don't message me, if you're black don't message me, if you're just looking for sex don't message me) listen up girls, you are on PLENTY O' FISH not GQ's most eligible bachelorette list - take what ever you can get.

    Just because a guy messages back and forth for 20 minutes then texts you for a day and a half does not give you a reason to fuk him guilt free. No guy on here is looking for a girlfriend or long term relationship unless he is horrifically ugly, granted he may make you think otherwise, but having a penis of my own (And yes, I do have one) I know better. You are naive and gullible (It's not your fault, it comes with being a women, along with irrationality, a lack of logic, and complete disregard for human life behind the wheel), in search of your prince charming. That's right ladies, the one good guy left on earth, the one who won't let your best friend blow him while you're visiting family up north, just happens to resort to plenty of fish to meet women.

    We know you are 'fun and 'outgoing', we also know that you 'like to have a good time and stay active' and that 'you never really know what to write in these little boxes' (Because you're so f*cking fascinating words cannot even begin to describe you in all your glory)... No girl on earth tries to attract potential mates with "I like to stay home and play WoW while I kill the batteries in my big purple dildo thinking of that guy on the bus who brushed up against my arm"... Try coming up with something original, something REAL... And no song lyrics are not original, nor is talking about yourself in 3rd person or telling everybody how unique and different you are. You are a woman, there are over 3 billion of you on earth and although you may have differences in appearance and girth, you're all the same really.

    Now if you're still reading this and you want to come over to my place, booze it up and get laid, then send me a message. Am I going to bang you and never talk to you again? Maybe. Are you ever gonna call me again? Maybe, we'll see how it goes. I'm not saying it won't turn into something more but let's get serious, why go through the games and bullsh*t when we're both playing for the same end game.
    If you want to be a man at night, you gotta be a man in the morning.

    *** Misc CIGAR Crew ****
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  4. #4
    Registered User behler's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HardenupCuz View Post
    I am a shallow, conceited, arrogant prick. I can also be the most sincere, thoughtful, gentleman you meet. I believe life is all about taking chances and meeting new people, experiencing new things, and having your perceptions altered. People think they have a "type." People think I have a "type." I prefer not to categorize people.

    Personally, I like to go out to bars, museums, clubs, restaurants, malls, etc. I like to have a good time wherever I am and I love to laugh and make others laugh. In my time alone I enjoy keeping up with the news, staying fit, and drinking wine. I love to cook at home, kick back in my robe and watch movies with a spicy cigar or smooth scotch...or both. I do give foot rubs if I like you.

    If you're the type who just looks at pictures to decide who you will talk to, that's great; I can be just as one-dimensional as you. If you actually read profiles that's cool, too; I love conversation.

    Please don't waste my time if you're still "figuring out what you want" or any of that BS. You need to know you want me and be up front if you don't. I don't respond to games. I'm mature enough to walk away and I hope you are, too.

    I love music of all sorts. I'll get down with whatever's good. I've got my tastes but I'm not a snob. I like Lady Gaga as much as I do Sinatra, however I hate the Black Eyed Peas.

    My two favorite movies are...
    1. Robocop
    2. The Adventures of Milo & Otis

    If you don't need a drunken night of karaoke to loosen up and you can laugh at Beavis & Butt-Head then we might get along. My ideal is someone who can be happy wrapping up in a blanket and watching Jersey Shore. You'll have to put up with a lot of Arnold Schwarzenegger memorabilia laying around, though.

    I'm on here to meet people. Take a chance and message me.
    wow. epic..plays right into the psychology of a stupid women. unbelievable perfect about me for pof.
    Ⓜisc Ⓘs Ⓕamily

    Misc Golf Crew

    S&P
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  5. #5
    Registered User yeshli2nuts's Avatar
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    If you agree, send me a message and we can stew over it together.

    I'm soooo honest and loyal, my family and friends are the world to me, I'm like totally down to earth, oh yeah and I'm new in town, very, very motivated, incredibly driven, always looking for love even though I've been screwed over so so many times by scumbags, so if you're a scumbag don't even THINK about messaging me, don't send a message with "what's up" because I put SO much though into my profile and I'm a special princess who deserves to be white knighted until the day I die, oh yeah and don't send me cawk pictures because although deep down I love getting them I'm gonna go out and say I hate them so you don't think I'm a slut.

    If your profile has two or more of these unoriginal pieces of sh*t I typed above, don't send me a message until you edit your profile.
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  6. #6
    Registered User AestheticGod941's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by franchise16 View Post
    My old one was good lol I wrote it originally but plenty have used it
    holy f*ck brah. this is beautiful...repped
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  7. #7
    Registered User AestheticGod941's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HardenupCuz View Post
    I am a shallow, conceited, arrogant prick. I can also be the most sincere, thoughtful, gentleman you meet. I believe life is all about taking chances and meeting new people, experiencing new things, and having your perceptions altered. People think they have a "type." People think I have a "type." I prefer not to categorize people.

    Personally, I like to go out to bars, museums, clubs, restaurants, malls, etc. I like to have a good time wherever I am and I love to laugh and make others laugh. In my time alone I enjoy keeping up with the news, staying fit, and drinking wine. I love to cook at home, kick back in my robe and watch movies with a spicy cigar or smooth scotch...or both. I do give foot rubs if I like you.

    If you're the type who just looks at pictures to decide who you will talk to, that's great; I can be just as one-dimensional as you. If you actually read profiles that's cool, too; I love conversation.

    Please don't waste my time if you're still "figuring out what you want" or any of that BS. You need to know you want me and be up front if you don't. I don't respond to games. I'm mature enough to walk away and I hope you are, too.

    I love music of all sorts. I'll get down with whatever's good. I've got my tastes but I'm not a snob. I like Lady Gaga as much as I do Sinatra, however I hate the Black Eyed Peas.

    My two favorite movies are...
    1. Robocop
    2. The Adventures of Milo & Otis

    If you don't need a drunken night of karaoke to loosen up and you can laugh at Beavis & Butt-Head then we might get along. My ideal is someone who can be happy wrapping up in a blanket and watching Jersey Shore. You'll have to put up with a lot of Arnold Schwarzenegger memorabilia laying around, though.

    I'm on here to meet people. Take a chance and message me.
    i'm gonna change a few things about this one, but strong potential. repped
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  8. #8
    Registered User AestheticGod941's Avatar
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    bump. want moaaaaaaaar
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  9. #9
    Registered User AestheticGod941's Avatar
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    MOAAAAAAAAAAR phaggots
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  10. #10
    Registered User Skyyyy's Avatar
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    Smile Love It :D :D :D

    Originally Posted by HardenupCuz View Post
    I am a shallow, conceited, arrogant prick. I can also be the most sincere, thoughtful, gentleman you meet. I believe life is all about taking chances and meeting new people, experiencing new things, and having your perceptions altered. People think they have a "type." People think I have a "type." I prefer not to categorize people.

    Personally, I like to go out to bars, museums, clubs, restaurants, malls, etc. I like to have a good time wherever I am and I love to laugh and make others laugh. In my time alone I enjoy keeping up with the news, staying fit, and drinking wine. I love to cook at home, kick back in my robe and watch movies with a spicy cigar or smooth scotch...or both. I do give foot rubs if I like you.

    If you're the type who just looks at pictures to decide who you will talk to, that's great; I can be just as one-dimensional as you. If you actually read profiles that's cool, too; I love conversation.

    Please don't waste my time if you're still "figuring out what you want" or any of that BS. You need to know you want me and be up front if you don't. I don't respond to games. I'm mature enough to walk away and I hope you are, too.

    I love music of all sorts. I'll get down with whatever's good. I've got my tastes but I'm not a snob. I like Lady Gaga as much as I do Sinatra, however I hate the Black Eyed Peas.

    My two favorite movies are...
    1. Robocop
    2. The Adventures of Milo & Otis

    If you don't need a drunken night of karaoke to loosen up and you can laugh at Beavis & Butt-Head then we might get along. My ideal is someone who can be happy wrapping up in a blanket and watching Jersey Shore. You'll have to put up with a lot of Arnold Schwarzenegger memorabilia laying around, though.

    I'm on here to meet people. Take a chance and message me.

    I am soooooooooo going to change a few things around on that and use it for my soon to be "Oasis Active" profile :P :P :P

    NICE WORK!!
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  11. #11
    Registered User ERTW22's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HardenupCuz View Post
    I am a shallow, conceited, arrogant prick. I can also be the most sincere, thoughtful, gentleman you meet. I believe life is all about taking chances and meeting new people, experiencing new things, and having your perceptions altered. People think they have a "type." People think I have a "type." I prefer not to categorize people.

    Personally, I like to go out to bars, museums, clubs, restaurants, malls, etc. I like to have a good time wherever I am and I love to laugh and make others laugh. In my time alone I enjoy keeping up with the news, staying fit, and drinking wine. I love to cook at home, kick back in my robe and watch movies with a spicy cigar or smooth scotch...or both. I do give foot rubs if I like you.

    If you're the type who just looks at pictures to decide who you will talk to, that's great; I can be just as one-dimensional as you. If you actually read profiles that's cool, too; I love conversation.

    Please don't waste my time if you're still "figuring out what you want" or any of that BS. You need to know you want me and be up front if you don't. I don't respond to games. I'm mature enough to walk away and I hope you are, too.

    I love music of all sorts. I'll get down with whatever's good. I've got my tastes but I'm not a snob. I like Lady Gaga as much as I do Sinatra, however I hate the Black Eyed Peas.

    My two favorite movies are...
    1. Robocop
    2. The Adventures of Milo & Otis

    If you don't need a drunken night of karaoke to loosen up and you can laugh at Beavis & Butt-Head then we might get along. My ideal is someone who can be happy wrapping up in a blanket and watching Jersey Shore. You'll have to put up with a lot of Arnold Schwarzenegger memorabilia laying around, though.

    I'm on here to meet people. Take a chance and message me.
    seen this before in another thread, but its still very good and perfect for this thread. good job for saving it! the perfect post (with slight modifications for each own person) to pull/troll on pof
    "You're going to be sore. you are going to be tired. You're gonna wake up in the morning unable to move and wanting to give up because you are sore in places you didn't know could even be worked. I'm not telling you it's going to be easy. In fact, it'll probably be one of the hardest things you'll ever do. But I'm telling you it's going to be worth it."

    "In times of prosperity, our friends know who we are. In times of adversity, we know who our friends are." - Fortune Cookie
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  12. #12
    ░▒▓▓██ Melbourne ██▓▓▒░ MiiRa's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HardenupCuz View Post
    I am a shallow, conceited, arrogant prick. I can also be the most sincere, thoughtful, gentleman you meet. I believe life is all about taking chances and meeting new people, experiencing new things, and having your perceptions altered. People think they have a "type." People think I have a "type." I prefer not to categorize people.

    Personally, I like to go out to bars, museums, clubs, restaurants, malls, etc. I like to have a good time wherever I am and I love to laugh and make others laugh. In my time alone I enjoy keeping up with the news, staying fit, and drinking wine. I love to cook at home, kick back in my robe and watch movies with a spicy cigar or smooth scotch...or both. I do give foot rubs if I like you.

    If you're the type who just looks at pictures to decide who you will talk to, that's great; I can be just as one-dimensional as you. If you actually read profiles that's cool, too; I love conversation.

    Please don't waste my time if you're still "figuring out what you want" or any of that BS. You need to know you want me and be up front if you don't. I don't respond to games. I'm mature enough to walk away and I hope you are, too.

    I love music of all sorts. I'll get down with whatever's good. I've got my tastes but I'm not a snob. I like Lady Gaga as much as I do Sinatra, however I hate the Black Eyed Peas.

    My two favorite movies are...
    1. Robocop
    2. The Adventures of Milo & Otis

    If you don't need a drunken night of karaoke to loosen up and you can laugh at Beavis & Butt-Head then we might get along. My ideal is someone who can be happy wrapping up in a blanket and watching Jersey Shore. You'll have to put up with a lot of Arnold Schwarzenegger memorabilia laying around, though.

    I'm on here to meet people. Take a chance and message me.
    Perfect. Repped
    *Misc Horse Head Crew*
    *Melbourne Misc Crew*
    *Vegeta is my Idol Crew*
    *Always pick 7 Crew*


    Follow me on IG - @marcmirab
    Will always follow back + Rep. Mostly post random chit + progress
    _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
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  13. #13
    Registered User echoareone's Avatar
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    echoareone has reached the pinnacle! Best possible rank! (+1000000) echoareone has reached the pinnacle! Best possible rank! (+1000000) echoareone has reached the pinnacle! Best possible rank! (+1000000) echoareone has reached the pinnacle! Best possible rank! (+1000000) echoareone has reached the pinnacle! Best possible rank! (+1000000) echoareone has reached the pinnacle! Best possible rank! (+1000000) echoareone has reached the pinnacle! Best possible rank! (+1000000) echoareone has reached the pinnacle! Best possible rank! (+1000000) echoareone has reached the pinnacle! Best possible rank! (+1000000) echoareone has reached the pinnacle! Best possible rank! (+1000000) echoareone has reached the pinnacle! Best possible rank! (+1000000)
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    Copypasta'd my own:

    Welcome to the dating pool. If you're distressed about the quality of guys these days, perhaps you should ponder the concept of parallel evolution.

    Girls, don't let the number of dicks that get thrown at you on this site fool you into increasing your self-esteem. You're not Cthulhu's gift to sexy. And if you feel the need to state that you won't answer messages like "hey sexy," then you probably don't deserve to get those messages in the first place.


    Additionally, I've learned some things about euphemisms from OKC. Let me share a few.
    -Confident means aggressively insecure.
    -KCCO means attention-seeking and superficial.
    -Career-oriented means no college degree.
    -Curvy means fat.
    -Follow me on twitter/instagram/facebook means I require external validation and attention.
    -"Don't message me for sex" means "I've hooked up with ****ty people before who used PUA lines on me, and I still have a hard time learning from my mistakes."
    -Quirky means having a mind for useless trivia.
    -Independent means craving validation.
    -Proud of X means barely repressed embarrassment about X.
    -Not looking for hookups means sex ASAP.
    -Don't message me saying "hey" means, without fail, that my first message to you will be "hey."
    -If you want to know more, message me, means message me only if you're attractive.
    -Don't message me saying "nice tits" means either
    a. please look at how much cleavage I've displayed
    b. there's no reason for you to be interested in my body.
    -General complaints about the quality of guys/girls indicates the desire to blame poor character assessment skills on bad luck or "having a type," or the clash of a massively overinflated sense of self-worth and ego with the harsh reality that you're really, REALLY nothing special.
    The strongest weak guy you'll ever meet.
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  14. #14
    Registered User acr70's Avatar
    Join Date: Jul 2011
    Location: Barberton, Ohio, United States
    Age: 20
    Stats: 6'4", 243 lbs
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    acr70 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) acr70 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) acr70 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) acr70 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) acr70 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) acr70 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) acr70 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) acr70 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) acr70 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) acr70 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000) acr70 has a reputation beyond repute. Second best rank possible! (+100000)
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    Moar boar wants moar
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