Compilation of misc text/internet pick up lines.

[Problem]

You have seduced my clothes off of me without saying a word, I'm almost scared to when you messesage me back because I don't know what will happen


I put the ape in rape, give me your number so I can go bananas on your baby oven

[BigWBrah]

lolz. gjdm

[unc91]

If you miss a girls call you could say

did you pocket dial me? Because dat ass was callin my name

[skatestraight]

Oh, a heavenly blessed beauty,
whose beauty is divine and everlasting.
Her beatiful body, worthy of a bronze casting.
I tell her that I’ve had a
crush on her for years,
after I’ve doned one too many Beers.
I wish I had a wishbone,
So id don’t end up forever-alone.
I tell her to please stay safe
in a desperate plea for attention
white-knighting has entered another dimension.
On the weekends, she’ll be out on the
town, full of noise
and I’ll surely be at home
or getting yucky with the boys
I know that theres Plenty Of Fish,
but oh how, for her, I only wish.
I buy her a gift,
and in return, she asks ‘do you even lift?’
I guess I finally see
It’s time to move on
yet I still want to tell her of my love
followed by a ‘please respond’

[FaroeViking]

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
get in the van.

hahahahaaa thats ****ing great!
5 star thread

[AlbinoBuffalo]

Oh, a heavenly blessed beauty,
whose beauty is divine and everlasting.
Her beatiful body, worthy of a bronze casting.
I tell her that I’ve had a
crush on her for years,
after I’ve doned one too many Beers.
I wish I had a wishbone,
So id don’t end up forever-alone.
I tell her to please stay safe
in a desperate plea for attention
white-knighting has entered another dimension.
On the weekends, she’ll be out on the
town, full of noise
and I’ll surely be at home
or getting yucky with the boys
I know that theres Plenty Of Fish,
but oh how, for her, I only wish.
I buy her a gift,
and in return, she asks ‘do you even lift?’
I guess I finally see
It’s time to move on
yet I still want to tell her of my love
followed by a ‘please respond’

I wrote this poem. Feelsgoodman.jpg

[isaacnetwon1]

bump

If you were a triangle you would be acute one.

[marksgm]

[WholeEffinShow]

Are you Irish?
Because whenever I see you my dick is Dublin.

[LittleLexodus]

Anymore brilliant pickup lines?

Here is one to contribute:

You: Can you feel my shirt for a second?
Girl: (feels shirt)
You: Doesn't that feel like boyfriend material?

Using this. Will rep once off recharge.

[nodnarb481]

Hello love, fancy an orgasm?

[WARtx3]

in for later use

[Mlinebacker0]

If you miss a girls call you could say

did you pocket dial me? Because dat ass was callin my name

Fukin gold, raped

[NJPUMP21912]

5 star thread

[Mj23foreva]

seriously, this thread needed to be bumped...anyone got anything to contribute?

[Dirtydonker]

I hope you have pet insurance.

Because I'm about to beat your pussy up!

[OhsoClutch]

"listen, we need to talk..."

(those are the exact words every single female uses to breakup. use this with a girl that your dating or seeing)

when she replies "zomg wut?"

txt back "Aliens are abducting all the sexy people off the planet and forcing them to breed. You should be safe, but I just wanted to text goodbye one last time :["

[raunchybrah]

You're everything I didn't think I wanted in a girl.

[afrobrah]

You're everything I didn't think I wanted in a girl.

Aware.
Makes bishes really think.

[JulesGui]

Boy: Are u ballpen?
Girl: dafuq?
Boy: Dafuq, a talking ballpen.

huahuahuahuashuhashhuashhuahaha

[JulesGui]

juesuswqeus

[jwalk12755]

Those pants look tight, how do you get into them?

[loyal4life]

can you give me directions?
girl / where?
yo : to your pants

[loyal4life]

bump for more

[Arsenal01]

****in bummmpp

[PzMyers]

Girl: i have a boyfriend

You: i have a gold fish

[ROFLWAFFLE]

ok....

[ROFLWAFFLE]

so,,,,

[ROFLWAFFLE]

im trying

[ROFLWAFFLE]

to get