***UPDATE On Post #87***
Never thought I'd be making one of these threads, but it's really frustrating me. Been with GF for about a year. Sexual from the start. She gave oral often the first month or so. Then, it just fell off.
There was admittedly a time when I didn't go down on her, but I quickly squashed that when she asked me to do it, and now do it nearly every time we have sex. And I feel as if I do it pretty decently.
However, she just will not give me head. I'm not sure why. I'm clean and shaven. I even got upset one time and we had a long talk about it. She said she would make up for it, but, to no surprise, she hasn't.
I can't even remember the last time I got oral or even a handjob, even though I always go down on her, and finger her all the time.
She's definitely not trying to be mean or spiteful, but it's frustrating when she can't return the favor even just once. It's been well over six months since the last time.
I'm definitely going to stop going down on her. I thought about withholding sex completely for a bit, but that wouldn't solve anything.
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Thread: Frustrated...GF Won't Give Oral
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01-18-2016, 06:41 AM #1
Frustrated...GF Won't Give Oral
Last edited by OralGel69; 01-19-2016 at 04:29 AM.
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01-18-2016, 06:57 AM #2
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01-18-2016, 06:58 AM #3
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01-18-2016, 06:59 AM #4
OP, you messed up by getting upset about it, you probably increased her aversion to it by doing that. But at least you gained a little insight. Did she give any reasons at all? At least she said she would make up for it. I've always had luck getting BJ's by just getting a girls head down there. Probably my favorite technique is getting her head on your lap like while watching TV. I've gotten lots of blowjobs this way. Let her lay her head there and caress her, usually they will feel you up at the same time and just initiate it. It may not happen the first time, keep getting her into this position. And when she does finally do it, encourage her. Tell her how great it feels and how good she is at it.
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01-18-2016, 07:00 AM #5
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01-18-2016, 07:03 AM #6
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01-18-2016, 07:04 AM #7
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01-18-2016, 07:08 AM #8
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01-18-2016, 07:08 AM #9
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01-18-2016, 07:11 AM #10
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01-18-2016, 07:15 AM #11
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01-18-2016, 07:17 AM #12
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01-18-2016, 07:26 AM #13
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01-18-2016, 07:30 AM #14
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01-18-2016, 07:37 AM #15
You're going about this all wrong if you think you can use lack of sexual activity to increase her willingness to perform sexual acts. Desire for sexual activity is innate and she doesn't have it. Even if you succeed in manipulating her into giving you what you want, the results will be short lived unless/until she wants it due to her own internal motivation.
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01-18-2016, 07:38 AM #16
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01-18-2016, 07:40 AM #17
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01-18-2016, 07:41 AM #18
I let it be known from the start *******s; no BJ's are a deal breaker, not having near daily sex is a deal breaker, not suckin me off during period is deal breaker.
This will not end well OP, if she does not have an internal desire for it, good chances she never will. You may see results temporarily and this is when you need to let her know that you need this every time because it feels so good and is so important to you or else its deal breaker. Also feed her bs that it makes you feel closer to her, more turned on, etc .
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01-18-2016, 07:42 AM #19
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01-18-2016, 07:46 AM #20
Gotcha
I'm gonna need it. I don't think she has the internal desire. It wouldn't be so bad, but we did have this conversation about 9 months ago about me not going down on her. I think it's being selfish honestly.
I genuinely do enjoy going down on her, so I'm not doing it just to get something in return, but the fact that she never even offers, even after I brought it up, is selfish IMO.
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01-18-2016, 07:49 AM #21
Do you want her to give you oral for reasons other than because she is turned on by it? Would you be happy if she blew you for money? Or because you keep asking and she doesn't want you to complain/dump her? Or because she has feelings for you and she's willing to tolerate the chore?
Personally I have no interest in blow jobs for any reason other than her own desire. That matches my sexual appetite because I enjoy going down on women independent of her enjoyment/request of the act.
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01-18-2016, 07:52 AM #22
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01-18-2016, 07:58 AM #23
It totally is selfish! IDK how she is okay with taking and not giving?? That can say a lot about someone's character!
Have you ever heard of the 5 languages of love? People show their love in different ways, but one of mine is definitely 'physical touch'...that is to say, showing love through affection and sex-saying everything there aren't words for through the physical...anywho, maybe you are the same way? If so, it is VERY difficult to love someone physically when they don't do the same back...it leaves you completely UNFULFILLED and resentful! If one of her love languages isn't physical touch [seems like it's not!], you may need to chalk this up to an incompatibility issue...especially IF after communication, she still has not changed.
Truth is, people love differently and it's important to recognize that the fault lies with neither her nor you; it can simply be chalked up to incompatibility.7:1
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01-18-2016, 08:00 AM #24
This is the time of the month that BJ's are start to finish for me. Generally speaking, the rest of the time they are only for warm up because I want to give it to her too (considerate lover, yes I know ).
I'm not too hot on the blood thing either and I do admittedly exaggerate this . I'll still do it, but its reserved for nights when: she's had a long day and I can justify her not being able to bob her head for over 20min, if were having an intimate moment, we woke up in the middle of the night, or if she has already sucked me off earlier in the day.
Da fuk you been?
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01-18-2016, 08:00 AM #25
I think you are misunderstanding. I'm talking about her motivation to go down on you vs your motivation to go down on her. Obviously the fact that it feels amazing for her is part of that motivation but it's not the sole motivation for you is it? Is there part of you that enjoys doing it because of the arousal it causes you, the giver, to feel?
Personally it isn't a one-sided exchange where she feels amazing and I feel like I gave to charity. I enjoy doing it because it makes me feel good too. I get turned on both physically and psychologically. I expect the woman I'm with to feel the same way. Anything less and you'll always have this struggle.
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01-18-2016, 08:01 AM #26
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01-18-2016, 08:01 AM #27
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01-18-2016, 08:01 AM #28
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01-18-2016, 08:03 AM #29
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01-18-2016, 08:05 AM #30
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