Frustrated...GF Won't Give Oral

[OralGel69]

***UPDATE On Post #87***

Never thought I'd be making one of these threads, but it's really frustrating me. Been with GF for about a year. Sexual from the start. She gave oral often the first month or so. Then, it just fell off.

There was admittedly a time when I didn't go down on her, but I quickly squashed that when she asked me to do it, and now do it nearly every time we have sex. And I feel as if I do it pretty decently.

However, she just will not give me head. I'm not sure why. I'm clean and shaven. I even got upset one time and we had a long talk about it. She said she would make up for it, but, to no surprise, she hasn't.

I can't even remember the last time I got oral or even a handjob, even though I always go down on her, and finger her all the time.

She's definitely not trying to be mean or spiteful, but it's frustrating when she can't return the favor even just once. It's been well over six months since the last time.

I'm definitely going to stop going down on her. I thought about withholding sex completely for a bit, but that wouldn't solve anything.

[FU3L]

Talk to her about it again, if nothing changes decide if it's a deal breaker for you or not and act accordingly.

[OralGel69]

Talk to her about it again, if nothing changes decide if it's a deal breaker for you or not and act accordingly.

Not even sure how to go about it without her either crying or us getting into an argument.

But I probably will next time.

[RogerSteward]

OP, you messed up by getting upset about it, you probably increased her aversion to it by doing that. But at least you gained a little insight. Did she give any reasons at all? At least she said she would make up for it. I've always had luck getting BJ's by just getting a girls head down there. Probably my favorite technique is getting her head on your lap like while watching TV. I've gotten lots of blowjobs this way. Let her lay her head there and caress her, usually they will feel you up at the same time and just initiate it. It may not happen the first time, keep getting her into this position. And when she does finally do it, encourage her. Tell her how great it feels and how good she is at it.

[Kansas123]

Holy chit you have leverage. Just stop going down on her/thread

[OralGel69]

OP, you messed up by getting upset about it, you probably increased her aversion to it by doing that. But at least you gained a little insight. Did she give any reasons at all? At least she said she would make up for it. I've always had luck getting BJ's by just getting a girls head down there. Probably my favorite technique is getting her head on your lap like while watching TV. I've gotten lots of blowjobs this way. Let her lay her head there and caress her, usually they will feel you up at the same time and just initiate it. It may not happen the first time, keep getting her into this position. And when she does finally do it, encourage her. Tell her how great it feels and how good she is at it.

Tried that, didn't work.

And she SAID she'd make up for it, but that was like two months ago and still nothing.

[FU3L]

Not even sure how to go about it without her either crying or us getting into an argument.

But I probably will next time.

Then nothing will change. If you have an issue in your relationship, address it.

[OralGel69]

Then nothing will change. If you have an issue in your relationship, address it.

That's why I'm frustrated. I did address it. She promised to make up for it and didn't. I know she has no malicious intent, so I think I'll mention it, and if no change, I'll then decide what to do.

[DatTrolololsong]

Wait til marriage. Most of the married guys I know including myself are not happy with sex in general blow jobs aren't even thought of

[OralGel69]

Wait til marriage. Most of the married guys I know including myself are not happy with sex in general blow jobs aren't even thought of

Oh, I'm not getting married. We've talked about it. I know she wants to eventually, but I've made it pretty clear I'm never getting married.

[DatTrolololsong]

Oh, I'm not getting married. We've talked about it. I know she wants to eventually, but I've made it pretty clear I'm never getting married.

Sound like me 10'yrs ago

[OralGel69]

Sound like me 10'yrs ago

Well, I'll tell you one thing: I will not marry a girl that will not give blowjobs or handjobs.

Literally the greatest sexual pleasure, and it cannot be given to me even though it is given by me.

[berryhibiscus]

Maybe your dick makes her mouth go numb?

[OralGel69]

Maybe your dick makes her mouth go numb?

Not even sure what that's supposed to mean. But it's frustrating as fuark.

I will certainly mention it next time. But I damn well will stop going down on her. May even hold back foreplay a bit, as that involves fingering usually.

[justins1983]

Not even sure what that's supposed to mean. But it's frustrating as fuark.

I will certainly mention it next time. But I damn well will stop going down on her. May even hold back foreplay a bit, as that involves fingering usually.

You're going about this all wrong if you think you can use lack of sexual activity to increase her willingness to perform sexual acts. Desire for sexual activity is innate and she doesn't have it. Even if you succeed in manipulating her into giving you what you want, the results will be short lived unless/until she wants it due to her own internal motivation.

[OralGel69]

I actually forgot that I'm seeing my GF tonight. I'll mention it.

[OralGel69]

Are you the one who initiates sex all the time?
How much do you skip above the waist "foreplay" (kissing, nipples...)?
How long does penetration last and does she have pleasure?
lol you don't have to answer here but basically in case you give a vibe of putting pressure to have sex or always being the one to choose when and where, wanting to get below the waist as quickly as possible, and if penetration kind of lasts forever with her having mild to little pleasure...not gonna help. She seems emotional, take it into account in your way to be physical with her...I don't think asking for it will help you much, it might feel like pressure at best.

Never skip any aspect of foreplay. She enjoys penetration.

You're going about this all wrong if you think you can use lack of sexual activity to increase her willingness to perform sexual acts. Desire for sexual activity is innate and she doesn't have it. Even if you succeed in manipulating her into giving you what you want, the results will be short lived unless/until she wants it due to her own internal motivation.

That's what I'm afraid of. Don't want to break up with her or anything, but if it would be something where I'd go years without head or hand? I honestly might.

[Nedo]

I let it be known from the start *******s; no BJ's are a deal breaker, not having near daily sex is a deal breaker, not suckin me off during period is deal breaker.

This will not end well OP, if she does not have an internal desire for it, good chances she never will. You may see results temporarily and this is when you need to let her know that you need this every time because it feels so good and is so important to you or else its deal breaker. Also feed her bs that it makes you feel closer to her, more turned on, etc .

[berryhibiscus]

Not even sure what that's supposed to mean. But it's frustrating as fuark.

I will certainly mention it next time. But I damn well will stop going down on her. May even hold back foreplay a bit, as that involves fingering usually.

I was just making a joke about your username

Good luck!

[OralGel69]

I was just making a joke about your username

Good luck!

Gotcha

I'm gonna need it. I don't think she has the internal desire. It wouldn't be so bad, but we did have this conversation about 9 months ago about me not going down on her. I think it's being selfish honestly.

I genuinely do enjoy going down on her, so I'm not doing it just to get something in return, but the fact that she never even offers, even after I brought it up, is selfish IMO.

[justins1983]

Never skip any aspect of foreplay. She enjoys penetration.

That's what I'm afraid of. Don't want to break up with her or anything, but if it would be something where I'd go years without head or hand? I honestly might.

Do you want her to give you oral for reasons other than because she is turned on by it? Would you be happy if she blew you for money? Or because you keep asking and she doesn't want you to complain/dump her? Or because she has feelings for you and she's willing to tolerate the chore?

Personally I have no interest in blow jobs for any reason other than her own desire. That matches my sexual appetite because I enjoy going down on women independent of her enjoyment/request of the act.

[OralGel69]

Do you want her to give you oral for reasons other than because she is turned on by it? Would you be happy if she blew you for money? Or because you keep asking and she doesn't want you to complain/dump her? Or because she has feelings for you and she's willing to tolerate the chore?

Personally I have no interest in blow jobs for any reason other than her own desire. That matches my sexual appetite because I enjoy going down on women independent of her enjoyment/request of the act.

I want her to give me oral because it feels amazing. Same reason she likes when I go down on her.

[daisygirl713]

Gotcha

I'm gonna need it. I don't think she has the internal desire. It wouldn't be so bad, but we did have this conversation about 9 months ago about me not going down on her. I think it's being selfish honestly.

I genuinely do enjoy going down on her, so I'm not doing it just to get something in return, but the fact that she never even offers, even after I brought it up, is selfish IMO.

It totally is selfish! IDK how she is okay with taking and not giving?? That can say a lot about someone's character!

Have you ever heard of the 5 languages of love? People show their love in different ways, but one of mine is definitely 'physical touch'...that is to say, showing love through affection and sex-saying everything there aren't words for through the physical...anywho, maybe you are the same way? If so, it is VERY difficult to love someone physically when they don't do the same back...it leaves you completely UNFULFILLED and resentful! If one of her love languages isn't physical touch [seems like it's not!], you may need to chalk this up to an incompatibility issue...especially IF after communication, she still has not changed.

Truth is, people love differently and it's important to recognize that the fault lies with neither her nor you; it can simply be chalked up to incompatibility.

[Nedo]

...but why no sex during period?

This is the time of the month that BJ's are start to finish for me. Generally speaking, the rest of the time they are only for warm up because I want to give it to her too (considerate lover, yes I know ).

I'm not too hot on the blood thing either and I do admittedly exaggerate this . I'll still do it, but its reserved for nights when: she's had a long day and I can justify her not being able to bob her head for over 20min, if were having an intimate moment, we woke up in the middle of the night, or if she has already sucked me off earlier in the day.

Da fuk you been?

[justins1983]

I want her to give me oral because it feels amazing. Same reason she likes when I go down on her.

I think you are misunderstanding. I'm talking about her motivation to go down on you vs your motivation to go down on her. Obviously the fact that it feels amazing for her is part of that motivation but it's not the sole motivation for you is it? Is there part of you that enjoys doing it because of the arousal it causes you, the giver, to feel?

Personally it isn't a one-sided exchange where she feels amazing and I feel like I gave to charity. I enjoy doing it because it makes me feel good too. I get turned on both physically and psychologically. I expect the woman I'm with to feel the same way. Anything less and you'll always have this struggle.

[FriendOfFrank]

...but why no sex during period?

I'll hit it early or late, when it's pretty light. Those heaviest days and kinda gross though. I've got the rest of my life to enjoy, without big gobs of thick, dark blood getting all over me.

[gixxer0.6g]

Don't ask. Just get her going and stick it in front of her face. You're a man, start acting like one. She's either scared or thinks she's way too awesome to suck cawk. Either way, show her where those nuts belong.

[OralGel69]

It totally is selfish! IDK how she is okay with taking and not giving?? That can say a lot about someone's character!

Have you ever heard of the 5 languages of love? People show their love in different ways, but one of mine is definitely 'physical touch'...that is to say, showing love through affection and sex-saying everything there aren't words for through the physical...anywho, maybe you are the same way? If so, it is VERY difficult to love someone physically when they don't do the same back...it leaves you completely UNFULFILLED and resentful! If one of her love languages isn't physical touch [seems like it's not!], you may need to chalk this up to an incompatibility issue...especially IF after communication, she still has not changed.

Truth is, people love differently and it's important to recognize that the fault lies with neither her nor you; it can simply be chalked up to incompatibility.

Honestly, I even resorted a couple of times when she wouldn't by request to just finishing myself off right there. Backfired, because she liked it.

If I have to resort to masturbating while we're sitting there naked in bed, something is wrong...

[OralGel69]

Don't ask. Just get her going and stick it in front of her face. You're a man, start acting like one. She's either scared or thinks she's way too awesome to suck cawk. Either way, show her where those nuts belong.

Tried it, didn't work. She just won't do it, and it's not just frustrating, it's starting to make me mad.

While I'd never do it, I do often have dream of cheating on her and getting amazing head, because I don't get it from her.

[FriendOfFrank]

Don't ask. Just get her going and stick it in front of her face. You're a man, start acting like one. She's either scared or thinks she's way too awesome to suck cawk. Either way, show her where those nuts belong.

This. I dont understand what all this talking is about? What does she do when you simply put your cawk in her face? Stare at it? Push you away?

Either you have a really nasty dick, or your girl has no respect or sexual attraction for you.