Starting to notice a very common trend with 20 yr olds

[trw008]

Every time I take it from the just fun hanging out etc etc to letting them know I actually care and have feelings(not love just feelings) they shut down. Usually takes a month or so but then they get all scared and shut down completely for whatever reason.

It is really pathetic and a waste of what could actually be a good relationship.

AFK just going to waste time having fun and not developing anything real

[Shepherd1125]

wtf are u saying.

[trw008]

wtf are u saying.

what part do you not understand? I wrote it down pretty plain and simple bro.

[rainy206]

I suppose it hasn't occurred to you that that is what 20 year olds want to do? I'm in no rush to get into a relationship, sure, it'd be nice, but that's besides the point.

[Shepherd1125]

so ur saying u hang out with chicks, and then later reveals that u have feelings for them, they shut YOU down?

u want a relationship? if so, I think girls around that age usually just want to have fun, no commitment.

that's what I got from ur reading, heavy assumptions.


Why not just express ur romantic interest right away instead of just hanging out and try to befriend them first, that puts u in the friendzone. If they shut u down right away, u wont have wasted so much time, and could ve moved on to the next girl.

[trw008]

so ur saying u hang out with chicks, and then later reveals that u have feelings for them, they shut YOU down?

u want a relationship? if so, I think girls around that age usually just want to have fun, no commitment.

that's what I got from ur reading, heavy assumptions.


Why not just express ur romantic interest right away instead of just hanging out and try to befriend them first, that puts u in the friendzone. If they shut u down right away, u wont have wasted so much time, and could ve moved on to the next girl.

nonononno

I am talking about romantic relationships. I mean being in an exclusive relationship and hanging out, going on dates, sexing, all that good stuff then you let them know you ACTUALLY care about them and you have feeling in the relationship and they shut down on me, they go cold, and block any emotions from them to me.

It is like they realize "oh **** this guy actually has real feelings for me, I better stop caring and shut down my emotions toward him"

this has now happened to me 3 times in a row in a relationship.

[Jack3d26]

It's either really bad luck or maybe you don't emit that relationship type vibe to these girls. They're young anyways, if they wanna play, then play. Why so serious? IMO, true love can only be had with a few people in an entire lifetime, everything else is just bs hormones. The more loves lost, the bigger the wall gets.

[trw008]

It's either really bad luck or maybe you don't emit that relationship type vibe to these girls. They're young anyways, if they wanna play, then play. Why so serious? IMO, true love can only be had with a few people in an entire lifetime, everything else is just bs hormones. The more loves lost, the bigger the wall gets.

Because I actually care. I am not so serious it is just that after being with someone for a month I start to care about them, and it is like they have not moved one step forward with their feelings.

It disgusts me it is such a bull**** reason to shut down.

I am not full of myself but I know what I have to offer
I am pretty aesthetic if you can see
I have a great job making 60k a year at 22 fresh out of college
I have great values, never get angry
I am a great communicator
I am ALWAYS positive and always have fun with a girl she is never without a smile when we hang out
Very hygienic
great in bed(usually go for 30min and she cums x 5)
come from a great family
I am the rare sincere guy who actually cares


yet this is never enough

[captain_marvel]

Every time I take it from the just fun hanging out etc etc to letting them know I actually care and have feelings(not love just feelings) they shut down. Usually takes a month or so but then they get all scared and shut down completely for whatever reason.

It is really pathetic and a waste of what could actually be a good relationship.

AFK just going to waste time having fun and not developing anything real

Wait so you turn on all ****gy and express your feelings and then wonder why they shut down?

Probably because you're trying to start a serious relationship at 22. Girls are fukking stupid at that age. Honestly fukk them and just chuck them and swear to god they are so backwards that they'll actually respect you more for this than being a mature man and expressing your feelings. Its really messed up but its the truth.

[InfinityThor]

It is like they realize "oh **** this guy actually has real feelings for me, I better stop caring and shut down my emotions toward him"

No it's more like, "This guy isn't doing it for me anymore, I want a man that gets me going".

[sincity88]

The consensus on this forum regarding letting girls know how you feel.... is to not let them know (lol) because you'll no longer have the upper hand. Gotta keep us on our toes.

[trw008]

The consensus on this forum regarding letting girls know how you feel.... is to not let them know (lol) because you'll no longer have the upper hand. Gotta keep us on our toes.

That is completely shallow and I am too mature to play those silly little games. I know most people my age enjoy it and do it but I matured really young and always have been told I act way too old for my age.

I am not going to hide how I feel though just because the girl I am with is too immature and stupid to actually see what is in front of her.

I would rather keep getting hurt until I am older than to play along with that mentality.

[HI_KKM]

That is completely shallow and I am too mature to play those silly little games. I know most people my age enjoy it and do it but I matured really young and always have been told I act way too old for my age.

I am not going to hide how I feel though just because the girl I am with is too immature and stupid to actually see what is in front of her.

I would rather keep getting hurt until I am older than to play along with that mentality.

yup, that is exactly the attitude you should have. don't build resentment to the women who don't want what you want. just keep the standards you set for yourself and keep going until you find someone who meets those standards and is willing to share the rest of her life with you.

[Dale1988]

Date 30 yr olds or women with kids, they will be your best friend... Or you could continue dating 20yo cumdumpsters and think they r actually gonna give a **** about you. Good luck with that.

[sixfootsix]

Every time I take it from the just fun hanging out etc etc to letting them know I actually care and have feelings(not love just feelings) they shut down. Usually takes a month or so but then they get all scared and shut down completely for whatever reason.

It is really pathetic and a waste of what could actually be a good relationship.

AFK just going to waste time having fun and not developing anything real

Bro, I think you are doing it wrong. Maybe you are coming on too strong and blunt about ur feelings; maybe you are white knighting them a bit. I know that is probably frustrating to hear and you probably think you dont do that, but if you do it right you should be able to lock these chicks down.

Maybe you should make it clear while still being subtle about it so you dont scare them off or whatever. You should work to make them feel this way ABOUT U so that they will come talk to you about relationship etc. That way they are not getting bored or whatever and they stay attracted to you bc they are working at getting u brah.

Its simple attraction stuff, they are the cat and you should be the string; keep them engaged and interested. If you give in they are like, "oh i got this guy where i want him. Meh..." Dont be so available dont smother them with attention, compliments, expressions of youre feelings, etc.

Where do u meet these girls? Do they start as hook ups or gone on dates w them? What do u say when you tell them u have feelings and sh*t?

[Granrey]

Every time I take it from the just fun hanging out etc etc to letting them know I actually care and have feelings(not love just feelings) they shut down. Usually takes a month or so but then they get all scared and shut down completely for whatever reason.

It is really pathetic and a waste of what could actually be a good relationship.

AFK just going to waste time having fun and not developing anything real

Dude, you only tell your feeling with words the day of the weeding (if ever), you tell your feeling by actions (if ever).

I suggest some reading.

[trw008]

Bro, I think you are doing it wrong. Maybe you are coming on too strong and blunt about ur feelings; maybe you are white knighting them a bit. I know that is probably frustrating to hear and you probably think you dont do that, but if you do it right you should be able to lock these chicks down.

Maybe you should make it clear while still being subtle about it so you dont scare them off or whatever. You should work to make them feel this way ABOUT U so that they will come talk to you about relationship etc. That way they are not getting bored or whatever and they stay attracted to you bc they are working at getting u brah.

Its simple attraction stuff, they are the cat and you should be the string; keep them engaged and interested. If you give in they are like, "oh i got this guy where i want him. Meh..." Dont be so available dont smother them with attention, compliments, expressions of youre feelings, etc.

Where do u meet these girls? Do they start as hook ups or gone on dates w them? What do u say when you tell them u have feelings and sh*t?

Starts out as dates, ****ing ensues pretty quickly because we are young and I am in pretty damn good shape compared to other guys around here, we hang out a lot, they tell me how important I am to them and they really are into me, after a month or so they do some random sht to upset me, then ask why I am upset, I say because I actually care about you, then they are like ugh why bleh bleh SHUTDOWN

[trw008]

Dude, you only tell your feeling with words the day of the weeding (if ever), you tell your feeling by actions (if ever).

I suggest some reading.

what the phuck kind of relationship is that though?

[sixfootsix]

The consensus on this forum regarding letting girls know how you feel.... is to not let them know (lol) because you'll no longer have the upper hand. Gotta keep us on our toes.

Starts out as dates, ****ing ensues pretty quickly because we are young and I am in pretty damn good shape compared to other guys around here, we hang out a lot, they tell me how important I am to them and they really are into me, after a month or so they do some random sht to upset me, then ask why I am upset, I say because I actually care about you, then they are like ugh why bleh bleh SHUTDOWN

OK dude, that may be how you feel but girls dont want to hear that sh*t. They are effed up in the head; they think they want you to say that, but they want you to not give a f*ck. Maybe dont hangout soo much right away; if they do some dumb sh*t act like not a single f*ck was given. you have girls lined up on speed dial to suck you off. I know you might not, but if you act sensitive they will get wierd. If you act like it's their priviledge to hangout w you and you couldnt care less if they do or not, YOU F*CKING WIN.

[Granrey]

what the phuck kind of relationship is that though?

Dude, I wish I knew that when I was your age.

Love actions speak more than words. When you speak your feelings, you will most likely ruin it. At the same time, if you over do it in actions is kind of like talking again and as result you are ruining it.

For instance, if you say I love you, you better do it at the proper time, proper place, the stars lining up and so on. Otherwise, it will most like be a turn off.

If she says I love you and you kiss her (that's kind of like you saying I love you too). That is more likely a turn on for her.

In other words, you are still saying I love you but with actions rather than with words.

[sincity88]

Because I actually care. I am not so serious it is just that after being with someone for a month I start to care about them, and it is like they have not moved one step forward with their feelings.

It disgusts me it is such a bull**** reason to shut down.

I am not full of myself but I know what I have to offer
I am pretty aesthetic if you can see
I have a great job making 60k a year at 22 fresh out of college
I have great values, never get angry
I am a great communicator
I am ALWAYS positive and always have fun with a girl she is never without a smile when we hang out
Very hygienic
great in bed(usually go for 30min and she cums x 5)
come from a great family
I am the rare sincere guy who actually cares


yet this is never enough

lold @ the bolded.

Just by reading your list, it sounds like you're trying to find a wife. Don't care how much more mature you are, you're still only 22, take it easy. When you find someone that is on the same page as you and has a similar mentality, you're not going to run into this problem. What I'm saying is, don't give a girl all of you so soon. Date around and stop committing yourself to one girl. You're getting emotionally attached to girls that aren't looking for the same things in a relationship that you are. The whole point in dating is to figure out this stuff and weed out the ones that aren't compatible til you find the one that is.

[sixfootsix]

lold @ the bolded.

Just by reading your list, it sounds like you're trying to find a wife. Don't care how much more mature you are, you're still only 22, take it easy. When you find someone that is on the same page as you and has a similar mentality, you're not going to run into this problem. What I'm saying is, don't give a girl all of you so soon. Date around and stop committing yourself to one girl. You're getting emotionally attached to girls that aren't looking for the same things in a relationship that you are. The whole point in dating is to figure out this stuff and weed out the ones that aren't compatible til you find the one that is.

LULZ, didnt even catch that! But i think this is good advice. repped ur last post, on recharge.

[Chrome Face]

NEVER tell a girl how you feel about her. always keep her guessing

[trw008]

lold @ the bolded.

Just by reading your list, it sounds like you're trying to find a wife. Don't care how much more mature you are, you're still only 22, take it easy. When you find someone that is on the same page as you and has a similar mentality, you're not going to run into this problem. What I'm saying is, don't give a girl all of you so soon. Date around and stop committing yourself to one girl. You're getting emotionally attached to girls that aren't looking for the same things in a relationship that you are. The whole point in dating is to figure out this stuff and weed out the ones that aren't compatible til you find the one that is.

sure I am looking for a wife, but I am not looking to get married right now.

I think building up to an engagement takes a couple years, and I want to have time to travel and do fun young people stuff with my wife before kids and all that, and the truth is women usually want kids by 30 or before because they get scared of infertility and birth defects.

Say I wait till im 25 to consider marriage, and then i start dating, I play it smart and wait 2 years before proposing, now I am 27, engagement lasts 6 months- a year now I am 28, that gives me 2 years to travel and have fun before kids and life is over?
I am sorry but phuck that. I would rather look now, be married by 25, and have at least 5 years to be together 1 on 1 while we are young.

[sixfootsix]

sure I am looking for a wife, but I am not looking to get married right now.

I think building up to an engagement takes a couple years, and I want to have time to travel and do fun young people stuff with my wife before kids and all that, and the truth is women usually want kids by 30 or before because they get scared of infertility and birth defects.

Say I wait till im 25 to consider marriage, and then i start dating, I play it smart and wait 2 years before proposing, now I am 27, engagement lasts 6 months- a year now I am 28, that gives me 2 years to travel and have fun before kids and life is over?
I am sorry but phuck that. I would rather look now, be married by 25, and have at least 5 years to be together 1 on 1 while we are young.

wtf brah, none of that gas to do w how ur going to get a gf. We are trying to tell u how to do it, all that bs comes way later. If a girl read that do u think she would be interested in you? F*CK NO.

[trw008]

wtf brah, none of that gas to do w how ur going to get a gf. We are trying to tell u how to do it, all that bs comes way later. If a girl read that do u think she would be interested in you? F*CK NO.

there was a reason I quoted sincity

I am pretty sure she was saying I am too young to be worrying about marriage

Just by reading your list, it sounds like you're trying to find a wife. Don't care how much more mature you are, you're still only 22, take it easy.

[jacketfan]

my last ****buddy was young(21) and always made hints about in such and such months we should date if we are both single. i tell her i got feelings and she shut it down so ****n quick lol

[Contribution05]

That is completely shallow and I am too mature to play those silly little games. I know most people my age enjoy it and do it but I matured really young and always have been told I act way too old for my age.

I am not going to hide how I feel though just because the girl I am with is too immature and stupid to actually see what is in front of her.

I would rather keep getting hurt until I am older than to play along with that mentality.

I mean i have zero experience with any girls 26+ but from what i have read, a lot of women don't change much with age until like their like 35-40. Sooo you might want to change how you approach things otherwise have fun waiting another 13 years or just hope you get lucky. But i do not recommend talking about your feelings until a minimum of 4 months, 1 month way too soon.

[BR00LSTORYCO]

OP wanna go on a date?

[Luke_Skyguy]

Because once you declare your "love", the chase is over and she knows she's got you in the palm of her hands. No excitement means no need for you anymore.