Just so frustrated. I just want things to work, but I know they won't.
We all go through it man, its just a part of growing up. By the way, ran into the ex today, she stopped with a big smile as I walked down the stairs said "Hey Roidz, Roidz! HI!" Looked, smiled, "hey" and off I went down the stairs. Not a single moment was lost from my day.
great thread roidz...really helps knowing that you're not the only one who's felt like this, so i'm gonna post my sht up...
gf broke up with me a month ago and i still think about her all the time. just a little background info...
-were together for almost 2yrs
-we work together, not everyday but i might see her 1-3x's a week
-about 6 months into the relationship, her dad dies and she gets severely depressed
-takes her about 3 months to get back to normal where she's talking to me
-everything is good for over a year and then she relapses into another episode where she can't stop crying and eventually sees a therapist who diagnoses her clinically depressed and gives her medication
-went through 2 months of almost no contact
-breaks up with me saying she doesn't have the same feelings anymore and she feels numb...says she's really stressed out and having a bf causes her a lot of stress
-thought she was the one
been hanging out with friends as much as i can lately, just trying to get my mind off of her. some days are good, sometimes i get lonely hanging out with my friends. everything still reminds me of her, i still check my phone all the time to see if she texted me. hardest part is seeing her at work, that sht sucks...it's like i go back to square one.
i don't have any feelings of regret because i can honestly say, i did my best and i held on as long as i could. usually, i have that hate to feed off of, but this time is different. i feel we broke up cause she has a legitimate medical condition and i hope she gets better. i couldn't give you an absolute no if you asked me would you take her back. been thinking about seeing a therapist to make sure i heal properly from this, but maybe i just need to give it more time. anyways, gonna do my best to follow the advice of this thread and then maybe i can move on.
UPDATE
been almost 5 months of no contact, i've been holding on to the hope that when she gets better, i'll be the first one she comes to see. that ended today when i heard a rumor she was seeing her manager. i asked her best friend about it, but she said she didn't hear anything. she did, however, say that from what she told her from before, that it was best that i move on.
not gonna lie, i was pretty upset when i heard about the news (true or not), but now i'm feeling more betrayed. i know the rumor isn't proven, but i'm at the point where she doesn't get the benefit of the doubt. i fcking gave this girl my everything and now it feels like such a waste of time. this is totally out of character for me, but when she gets treated badly, she'll think of me cause i treated her the best. her bday is next week and when i don't text her happy bday, i hope it stings just as much as when she didn't for mine.
don't ever date a coworker guys, when things go wrong and they usually do, it is ridiculously hard to move on. one thing that i'm learning slowly is.......she isn't worth it.
been almost 5 months of no contact, i've been holding on to the hope that when she gets better, i'll be the first one she comes to see. that ended today when i heard a rumor she was seeing her manager. i asked her best friend about it, but she said she didn't hear anything. she did, however, say that from what she told her from before, that it was best that i move on.
not gonna lie, i was pretty upset when i heard about the news (true or not), but now i'm feeling more betrayed. i know the rumor isn't proven, but i'm at the point where she doesn't get the benefit of the doubt. i fcking gave this girl my everything and now it feels like such a waste of time. this is totally out of character for me, but when she gets treated badly, she'll think of me cause i treated her the best. her bday is next week and when i don't text her happy bday, i hope it stings just as much as when she didn't for mine.
don't ever date a coworker guys, when things go wrong and they usually do, it is ridiculously hard to move on. one thing that i'm learning slowly is.......she isn't worth it.
Don't talk to her bestfriend. Don't worry about her, she's not in your life anymore brah.
Feel like a bit of an idiot writing this here but not sure who else to talk to brahs!
Basically had a near on 2 year relationship with a co-worker (I know...terrible idea.) Anyways at the time I never really considered her 'the one'. Infact, I always thought I could do better and lot's of people were telling me that aswell. She was maybe a 5/10 but i've never had a connection with a girl like this before. I would always tease her calling her 'whale' or a 'chubby bish' and she'd laugh and shrug it off. I was always honest with her in the fact that I didn't 'want a relationship' but we was having sex quite alot. She told me she loved me countless times and I always knew that if I ever asked her out she'd say yes without a moments hesitation. I was happy with the situation, I was chilling with my bro's all the time and would then see her 4-5x a week for sex and a little catch up...I thought everything was perfect. In January I had a major operation on my knee as it kept dislocating and was affecting my ability to play sports/lift...this put me out of the game for about 2 months (I couldnt go into work, couldn't drive, couldn't even really do anything.) She rings me up the day after my operation and tell's me she's preggerz... At the time I felt like a right ****ing idiot and I was obviously scared, I however told her I'd always be there for her and she thanked me saying that she knew I was a 'good guy' and that she knew I'd do the right thing. Well she kept calling me everyday after this and we'd talk on the phone etc, usually asking how im recovering and kept asking when she'd be able to see me...It wasnt until about a 3-4 weeks after my operation that I felt ok again to get out of the house, I went over to her yard and we talked a bit but I could tell things were different, she told me she was going to get rid of the baby (100% her decision) I asked her if she wanted me to go with her etc but she said she would feel more comfortable taking a friend...fair enough. We continue talking over the phone for the next month but I was feeling a bit down about being injured/stuck in the house so I didnt really make enough effort to see her/talk to her which I realise now. Anywway long story short a couple of days before im fit to go back to work I see on facebook that she is in a relationship with one of the older guys who drinks alot at the bar she works in. I was devestated brah's. I always thought me and this girl would get together eventiually but because of my whole lax attitude towrds it she obviously thought it would never happen. The next thing I did is probably the most and most BETA move i've ever done in my life, I asked her to talk which she agrees, we meet up and I literally pour my heart out to her, she rejects it brah's saying that she thinks we should jsut be 'friends' and that she's happy with this new guy and I should be happy that she's happy, I asked for one more chance and she rejected me.
2 weeks of no contact (even though we both work in the same place) was horrible, but I felt we was I was getting somewhere and starting to feel a bit better about it, until last night where I broke the no contact rule and called her, she answered immediately and my only intention of the phone call was to see if we could perhaps be civil to eachother at work. It didnt go to plan brah's, we literally was on the phone for about half hour and it resulted in me being beta as **** again by pouring out my heart and even getting a little annoyed. Now I feel pissed off with myself but realistically I know that I care about this girl so much and it's just painful thinking im never going to have that level of intimacy with her again. I know 'there's plenty more fish in the sea and all tht shizz' but I literally feel like I have no interest in any other females, need to change this mindset though.
Ah well **** it, time to move on with life. Moral of my story is you dont always know what you have 'til it's gone.
Great thread OP (repp'd) reading peoples stories has been a great help.
Last edited by Raaaaaaaaaah; 04-06-2012 at 04:49 AM.
Reason: terrible spelling
Is it just me, or am i the only one who pulled out from all that was " holy s**** you dodged a bullet with almost having a kid"
-----------------------------
Always Follow and Never let go of your Dreamer_ !
--------------------------------
**WARNING** BEST TROLLING EVER: TEEN FAT CAMP CONTESTANT
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?p=49664161
--------------------------
I'm no longer angry, sad, or frustrated, and I can say for the first time in a long time that I have 0 desire to talk to her. I just feel uncomfortable and get that nervous feeling in my stomach when I think about her. Maybe I've finally reached the acceptance stage. Hope these are all good signs.
I'm no longer angry, sad, or frustrated, and I can say for the first time in a long time that I have 0 desire to talk to her. I just feel uncomfortable and get that nervous feeling in my stomach when I think about her. Maybe I've finally reached the acceptance stage. Hope these are all good signs.
Feel like a bit of an idiot writing this here but not sure who else to talk to brahs!
Basically had a near on 2 year relationship with a co-worker (I know...terrible idea.) Anyways at the time I never really considered her 'the one'. Infact, I always thought I could do better and lot's of people were telling me that aswell. She was maybe a 5/10 but i've never had a connection with a girl like this before. I would always tease her calling her 'whale' or a 'chubby bish' and she'd laugh and shrug it off. I was always honest with her in the fact that I didn't 'want a relationship' but we was having sex quite alot. She told me she loved me countless times and I always knew that if I ever asked her out she'd say yes without a moments hesitation. I was happy with the situation, I was chilling with my bro's all the time and would then see her 4-5x a week for sex and a little catch up...I thought everything was perfect. In January I had a major operation on my knee as it kept dislocating and was affecting my ability to play sports/lift...this put me out of the game for about 2 months (I couldnt go into work, couldn't drive, couldn't even really do anything.) She rings me up the day after my operation and tell's me she's preggerz... At the time I felt like a right ****ing idiot and I was obviously scared, I however told her I'd always be there for her and she thanked me saying that she knew I was a 'good guy' and that she knew I'd do the right thing. Well she kept calling me everyday after this and we'd talk on the phone etc, usually asking how im recovering and kept asking when she'd be able to see me...It wasnt until about a 3-4 weeks after my operation that I felt ok again to get out of the house, I went over to her yard and we talked a bit but I could tell things were different, she told me she was going to get rid of the baby (100% her decision) I asked her if she wanted me to go with her etc but she said she would feel more comfortable taking a friend...fair enough. We continue talking over the phone for the next month but I was feeling a bit down about being injured/stuck in the house so I didnt really make enough effort to see her/talk to her which I realise now. Anywway long story short a couple of days before im fit to go back to work I see on facebook that she is in a relationship with one of the older guys who drinks alot at the bar she works in. I was devestated brah's. I always thought me and this girl would get together eventiually but because of my whole lax attitude towrds it she obviously thought it would never happen. The next thing I did is probably the most and most BETA move i've ever done in my life, I asked her to talk which she agrees, we meet up and I literally pour my heart out to her, she rejects it brah's saying that she thinks we should jsut be 'friends' and that she's happy with this new guy and I should be happy that she's happy, I asked for one more chance and she rejected me.
2 weeks of no contact (even though we both work in the same place) was horrible, but I felt we was I was getting somewhere and starting to feel a bit better about it, until last night where I broke the no contact rule and called her, she answered immediately and my only intention of the phone call was to see if we could perhaps be civil to eachother at work. It didnt go to plan brah's, we literally was on the phone for about half hour and it resulted in me being beta as **** again by pouring out my heart and even getting a little annoyed. Now I feel pissed off with myself but realistically I know that I care about this girl so much and it's just painful thinking im never going to have that level of intimacy with her again. I know 'there's plenty more fish in the sea and all tht shizz' but I literally feel like I have no interest in any other females, need to change this mindset though.
Ah well **** it, time to move on with life. Moral of my story is you dont always know what you have 'til it's gone.
Great thread OP (repp'd) reading peoples stories has been a great help.
doubt she was even pregnant, girls pull that sh!t on guys in order to get them to commit sometimes, get engaged/married, then when the guy does commit, she conventiently 'miscarries'!
doubt she was even pregnant, girls pull that sh!t on guys in order to get them to commit sometimes, get engaged/married, then when the guy does commit, she conventiently 'miscarries'!
It takes a real nut case to do this, but I have seen it done before. However I hope this was not the case here.
think my ex called me from a private number. girl on the other line sounded like her and knew my name, but then hung up. should i call her back to see if it was her?
what i really want to do is hurt her (not physically) would not calling her at all hurt her more? or should i call her and cuss her out?
think my ex called me from a private number. girl on the other line sounded like her and knew my name, but then hung up. should i call her back to see if it was her?
what i really want to do is hurt her (not physically) would not calling her at all hurt her more? or should i call her and cuss her out?
disregard. Its a tarp
-----------------------------
Always Follow and Never let go of your Dreamer_ !
--------------------------------
**WARNING** BEST TROLLING EVER: TEEN FAT CAMP CONTESTANT
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?p=49664161
--------------------------
been almost 5 months of no contact, i've been holding on to the hope that when she gets better, i'll be the first one she comes to see. that ended today when i heard a rumor she was seeing her manager. i asked her best friend about it, but she said she didn't hear anything. she did, however, say that from what she told her from before, that it was best that i move on.
not gonna lie, i was pretty upset when i heard about the news (true or not), but now i'm feeling more betrayed. i know the rumor isn't proven, but i'm at the point where she doesn't get the benefit of the doubt. i fcking gave this girl my everything and now it feels like such a waste of time. this is totally out of character for me, but when she gets treated badly, she'll think of me cause i treated her the best. her bday is next week and when i don't text her happy bday, i hope it stings just as much as when she didn't for mine.
don't ever date a coworker guys, when things go wrong and they usually do, it is ridiculously hard to move on. one thing that i'm learning slowly is.......she isn't worth it.
it's been 5 days since i wrote that update and let me tell you, it's been probably the worst and best days i've ever had. the first 3 days i was in the deepest fcking depression i've ever been in. i didn't eat and i just didn't have energy to do anything (prolly related). i was obsessing over her and the new guy constantly, imagining all the things he was doing to her....reminiscing of the good times we had. i kept thinking that i had to save her from this guy...even thought about ending it...
then...THEN...my friends came to my rescue. they had a bbq for me and all of them listened to me get things off my chest and then they told stories about their breakups and gave me some advice and some things that they learned. that's when i found out the secret to beating this sht...LET IT ALL OUT. i'm blessed with great friends, so they've all been giving me their time to listen to me vent and btch about the situation for as long as i can go for.
my friend was telling me that he was reading an article where it said that around the 6 month mark is where men really start to feel the effects of a breakup. he said that in this article, women were contributed with moving on faster because they have better support groups where they are able to talk about things at the beginning. after men start to feel the loss is when they start reaching out to their friends and talking about their feelings.
as of now, i'm waking up feeling a little depressed. it takes me awhile to warm up to the day and then i start to feel good...good about myself. i'm making an effort to talk with one friend a day just so i can talk about her so much that i get tired of it and eventually forget about her. it's gonna be a process, but one i think i need to go through if i want to heal correctly from this.
so if there's one thing i've learned about this experience is that you need to talk about your feelings. your friends understand how fcking bad it is to go through a breakup, so they're all willing to help. talk with someone on the phone or go grab a drink with your mates. DON'T HOLD IT IN. if you don't have any friends, i'll fcking skype with you. i really should've done this months ago...
i know i still got a long road ahead of me, but i'm starting to feel thankful to her for what she's put me through. i don't think i would've fully grasped how down my friends are for me. i wouldn't be as strong as i am right now and i wouldn't have learned as much as i have and it's all because of her...
it's been 5 days since i wrote that update and let me tell you, it's been probably the worst and best days i've ever had. the first 3 days i was in the deepest fcking depression i've ever been in. i didn't eat and i just didn't have energy to do anything (prolly related). i was obsessing over her and the new guy constantly, imagining all the things he was doing to her....reminiscing of the good times we had. i kept thinking that i had to save her from this guy...even thought about ending it...
then...THEN...my friends came to my rescue. they had a bbq for me and all of them listened to me get things off my chest and then they told stories about their breakups and gave me some advice and some things that they learned. that's when i found out the secret to beating this sht...LET IT ALL OUT. i'm blessed with great friends, so they've all been giving me their time to listen to me vent and btch about the situation for as long as i can go for.
my friend was telling me that he was reading an article where it said that around the 6 month mark is where men really start to feel the effects of a breakup. he said that in this article, women were contributed with moving on faster because they have better support groups where they are able to talk about things at the beginning. after men start to feel the loss is when they start reaching out to their friends and talking about their feelings.
as of now, i'm waking up feeling a little depressed. it takes me awhile to warm up to the day and then i start to feel good...good about myself. i'm making an effort to talk with one friend a day just so i can talk about her so much that i get tired of it and eventually forget about her. it's gonna be a process, but one i think i need to go through if i want to heal correctly from this.
so if there's one thing i've learned about this experience is that you need to talk about your feelings. your friends understand how fcking bad it is to go through a breakup, so they're all willing to help. talk with someone on the phone or go grab a drink with your mates. DON'T HOLD IT IN. if you don't have any friends, i'll fcking skype with you. i really should've done this months ago...
i know i still got a long road ahead of me, but i'm starting to feel thankful to her for what she's put me through. i don't think i would've fully grasped how down my friends are for me. i wouldn't be as strong as i am right now and i wouldn't have learned as much as i have and it's all because of her...
FCK YEAH!!!!!!
No matter how dire a situation may appear, there is ALWAYS a silver lining. It is clear with this story that your friends are the silver lining. This is the number 1 example of why I will never understand a person who chooses a partner over his/her friends. When times are tough, and I mean really tough, they are the ones that will be there for you. I think this video is extremely relevant and a bit of light hearted fun.
Today was the first day I stopped thinking about her for a good amount of time. The way I think about her has changed and I see her in a much different light now, but before today she never really left my mind at all except for very small amounts of time here and there. I thought to myself, "Wow, I haven't thought about her for a solid 3 or 4 hours." And then this kept happening over the course of the day for more or less the same amount of time. It's like the hiccups, though, because once you start to remember again after forgetting for a brief amount of time it's hard to fight off again. In order to be fine you can't remember or realize that you're fine or else those damn hiccups start again. The whole thing is very ironic.
Hang in there brahs. Each day the hiccups will be fewer and farther between.
Today was the first day I stopped thinking about her for a good amount of time. The way I think about her has changed and I see her in a much different light now, but before today she never really left my mind at all except for very small amounts of time here and there. I thought to myself, "Wow, I haven't thought about her for a solid 3 or 4 hours." And then this kept happening over the course of the day for more or less the same amount of time. It's like the hiccups, though, because once you start to remember again after forgetting for a brief amount of time it's hard to fight off again. In order to be fine you can't remember or realize that you're fine or else those damn hiccups start again. The whole thing is very ironic.
Hang in there brahs. Each day the hiccups will be fewer and farther between.
8 days NC. Feelsgreatman. I completely forget about it some days - but some days blow, because I just want to call her and tell her how my day was out of habit.
Went out on my first "date" last night if you could call it that....Grabbed a milkshake with an 8/10 5'3" half spanish half white girl, which is the same mix of races as me. Went really well, had her laughing the whole time, got compliments on my physique and it made me feel really good about myself knowing that I can get another girl. The problem I found though, is that I don't want another girl, at least for right now.
Next weekend I'm going to visit my best friend at ISU with my other best friend and 2 other good friends. Gonna get yucky for the first time in forever (friends are making me, I don't drink brahs) and hopefully talk to a few females while we're out, and just have a good night with the guys. Next weekend is her birthday too, and we had a lot planned out. I'll keep you guys updated.
8 days NC. Feelsgreatman. I completely forget about it some days - but some days blow, because I just want to call her and tell her how my day was out of habit.
Went out on my first "date" last night if you could call it that....Grabbed a milkshake with an 8/10 5'3" half spanish half white girl, which is the same mix of races as me. Went really well, had her laughing the whole time, got compliments on my physique and it made me feel really good about myself knowing that I can get another girl. The problem I found though, is that I don't want another girl, at least for right now.
Next weekend I'm going to visit my best friend at ISU with my other best friend and 2 other good friends. Gonna get yucky for the first time in forever (friends are making me, I don't drink brahs) and hopefully talk to a few females while we're out, and just have a good night with the guys. Next weekend is her birthday too, and we had a lot planned out. I'll keep you guys updated.
Great progress, don't worry too much about not wanting another girl right now, this will come in time. One thing, do not acknowledge her birthday. No text, no call, nothing. As far as she knows you do not even know its her birthday.
Great progress, don't worry too much about not wanting another girl right now, this will come in time. One thing, do not acknowledge her birthday. No text, no call, nothing. As far as she knows you do not even know its her birthday.
I won't brah. I'll be busy with my friends this weekend anyways, so it'll go by quick.
Originally Posted by Nocturnal310
seems like everyone is just busy with their friends and lives...and no one wants to hangout.
been like 10 days since i ever hung out with another human.
That's exactly what happened when I went through my first breakup...but in due time you'll find things to do. I just went to the gym/played video games/did things I haven'r for a while that I've been craving to do.
I won't brah. I'll be busy with my friends this weekend anyways, so it'll go by quick.
That's exactly what happened when I went through my first breakup...but in due time you'll find things to do. I just went to the gym/played video games/did things I haven'r for a while that I've been craving to do.
There will be times where you will not have other people, such as friends, to rely on. The best thing you can teach yourself is to be self amused, you master this, you will never be in a position of wanting with a woman ever again.
There will be times where you will not have other people, such as friends, to rely on. The best thing you can teach yourself is to be self amused, you master this, you will never be in a position of wanting with a woman ever again.
So much truth to this.
Just think, is there anything I ever wanted to do ? or become ?
The moment you say it is and make that decision, it's a hobby. and you commence your journey to get there.
Spare time is a gift not a curse.
-----------------------------
Always Follow and Never let go of your Dreamer_ !
--------------------------------
**WARNING** BEST TROLLING EVER: TEEN FAT CAMP CONTESTANT
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?p=49664161
--------------------------
Unfortunately this takes a little while to realise.
Truth to this post which states the truth in your original post = you stating the truth in your own original post = there is no need to, of course you know its true, you posted it.
My post is now void.
Do I even exit ?
mind blown
-----------------------------
Always Follow and Never let go of your Dreamer_ !
--------------------------------
**WARNING** BEST TROLLING EVER: TEEN FAT CAMP CONTESTANT
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?p=49664161
--------------------------
It's my ex's birthday. Fuaaaaaaa trying not to think of the plans we had, but meh, I'm gonna go lift in a little then go hang out with one of my buddies today so it'll go by fast
Tomorrow I'm going to ISU to get yucky so I'm looking forward to that
broke the no contact rule after a month brahs.. feelsbadman. i was doing fine doing my own thing and she calls my work cell phone from strange number. I didnt recognize it so I picked up since it couldve been business related. BAD MOVE. ended up talking to her, met up with her that night and she started kissing me. fast forward a week later she asks to meet in the same place (a parking lot). I guess her intentions were just to bang since she practically threw herself at me in the car. I got the feeling that she was just using me for validation, sex, wanting me to take her out, im not sure. I started NC again, ignoring anything she throws at me. But crap it feels bad to lose progress and start all over again.
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