only need 250 more words and I suck at writing conclusions.
I got you on reps for life ill even put it in my signature.
Here we go. this is what i got so far. And if yall wanna write a title that would be sick. The topic is what i am doing in college haha
I am very proud to be a sophomore at Florida Atlantic University. There are many different things I like to do here on campus. This being said, college is the basis to a successful life. Since college is so important I have been thinking of many different ways to make the best out of the time I have here. There are many different activities I can do on campus to accomplish this. Although I am positive I want to live a successful life when I graduate college, there are a couple main things I am doing here at college to ensure this lifestyle.
The first, most extraordinary thing I am doing in college is preparing myself for a successful life. It was once said that “College is important, but saving money can be even more important,” (Emily, www.collegequotes.com) this is very true, but in order to make money you need to spend money. Between tuition, dorm fees, and books, my parents and I had to take out a loan. This loan is money well spent because in the near future, it will all be paid off. Being a successful business-man will fulfill all the dreams in my life. Spending money to ensure that I get through college without speed bumps is the first thing I am doing.
The second, most important example of what I am doing in college is meeting people who will help me become the successful person I would like to be. Here at college I have been playing intramural sports, Ping Pong, and meeting random people whether it be in the elevator, roommates, or acquaintances. Already, I have met a couple computer engineers as well as architects who may be able to help me with future events in the business field. I have made sure to keep in contact with all the community. Friends may just be one of the most important reasons why I am at college. Physical activities like the ones listed are very time consuming and just give me something to do instead of getting into trouble like some people just can’t stay out of.
08-25-2011, 09:52 PM #1
Help me write a conclusion for my philosophy paper. (reps for life)
08-25-2011, 09:54 PM #2
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Well the first half is quite repetitive. A lot of sentences are spent saying the same idea: college is a good investment. You don't list your reasons until 2/3 the way through the paragraph. I would expand on things that are brushed over... such as how you plan to repay your loan after college. Also, I don't think you should mention sports etc. in more than one sentence since your purpose in doing so is to highlight it as a way to meet people.
Honestly, any essay under 2 pages double spaced is too short for a conclusion.
Last edited by imconfused; 08-25-2011 at 10:44 PM.
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