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  1. #1231
    Registered User RelentlessChaos's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LILHWEEEZY View Post
    ok this gun be gud

    -didnt know how to fap til i was 18(100% srs idk wut is wrong with me)
    -starting when i was probably 16 i inserted random objects into my ass(STRONG NO HOMO)
    -have **** on the floor multiple times and had to clean up from too much anal plundering(while my parents were home too)(NO HOMO)
    -shot water in and out of my ass(no homo)
    -**** myself when i was 12 and ran home crying from a party
    -wore several diff girls panties. it turns me on and i fap with them(no homo)
    -have fapped to hentai
    -tasted my own cum(no homo)
    -upped it a level and jizzed on food and ate it just to see how it would be(no homo)
    -upped another level and faped upside down and came in my own mouth. when i looked in the mirror after this i had cum on my beard and this might have been the lowest point of my life(srs)(strong no homo)

    all i can think of for now. im not gay(srs).
    what the......i dont.....i......YOUR A FUKING HOMO!!!!!!!!!!!
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  2. #1232
    Baller Of The Year Snowman24's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Midgetkiller View Post
    Bull****, you can't play any sport with a 'completely torn ACL'. If your ACL is torn, you can't even walk, let alone run fast enough to earn a starting position in any competitive sport.

    You probably just had some midget microtear in one of your ligaments and you tell everyone you tore off your ACL. You don't know ****. You're a pussy if you had a minor injury that didn't incapacitate you made you think you actually had a very severe injury. Fuarking midget pussy.
    i played half a basketball season with a completely torn ACL as well as fall league. didnt want to have surgery cus i didnt wana miss my season but i was hindered by the injury so much and had so many more injuries because of the tear i decided to get the reconstruction surgery half way thru the season. also had another ACL reconstruction on my other knee last year. fuark all u pussy ***boy
    "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit"---Aristotle

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  3. #1233
    Registered User Prankzter's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Devon501 View Post
    Any of you *******s ever 'circle jerk'? My friend says he use to masturbate with his other friends when he was really young. I bertstared him and told him thats weird/****gy as phuck but he makes out its more common than you think. I've never heard of anyone else do that though
    Circle Jerker checkin in
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  4. #1234
    Registered User Hobiebrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by devon501 View Post
    any of you *******s ever 'circle jerk'? My friend says he use to masturbate with his other friends when he was really young. I bertstared him and told him thats weird/****gy as phuck but he makes out its more common than you think. I've never heard of anyone else do that though
    btdt....
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  5. #1235
    Registered User Prankzter's Avatar
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    - Used to steal my step sister's barbie dolls and rub my dink up against them, was about five.
    - I recall playing with my step sister's vag when i was like 4, just investigating it with my hands underneath the sheets. She didn't mind? srs
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  6. #1236
    Banned collegecutie91's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ThCweights View Post
    When I'm alone I like to randomly put my wiener on things (especially cold things like metal)




    My BO smells like really good weed (srs its weird)


    I once crapped my pants when I was about 13 purposely.

    I once tried to suck my own dick (failed miserably)

    I sometimes put hot sauce in my oatmeal

    I've laid on my bed before eagle spread with nothing on and a fan blowing towards my nutsack and angus cuz it feltgoodman.jpg and it was really ****in hot.


    When I fap I sometimes talk dirty to whatever I'm fapping to like "Yuhh you like that yeee".


    I once ate out this fat chicks butthole when I first started having sex cause I thought it would taste better than her pussy

    I once banged a girl whos vag smelled like tuna. Was disgust for days.
    And this, children, is why you should say NO to drugs...
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  7. #1237
    AVI: 179 pounds. Jelly? ThCweights's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by GeneralBroseph View Post
    Guys this is probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. I was at my girlfriends house tonight for dinner, and shortly after i had to go #2. My Gf's brother was in the downstairs bathroom, so i went upstairs to use the master bathroom. I was about to take a dump, and I remembered something my friend told me called AC Slatering. AC Slatering is when you take a dump facing backwards on the toilet, just how on saved by the bell AC Slater always sat backwards on a chair. So when I was taking a dump, My stomach was facing the back of the toilet, and my back was facing the door. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and began to get nervous. Since AC SLatering is a tough position to get into, it requires taking off your pants. So there I am sitting in my GF's parents bathroom taking a dump with my pants off and facing the wrong way on the toilet. My dump was about halfway out when the footsteps became closer. I then turned around to see that I had not locked the door. Trying to finish as quickly as I could, I began pushing harder and harder. Suddenly, the door opened, and my gf's mom stood there in shock staring at me. We made eye contact for a split second, and I was so embarrassed I wanted to die. I quickly finished up, got dressed, and ran out of the house as quickly as I could. I am expecting my gf to break up with me tomorrow. I am so embarrassed and I hope my gf doesn't blabber about this, Ill die if anyone else finds out.
    Copy pasta?


    Originally Posted by NedStark View Post
    I tried to suk my dink
    I maked out with my bro, (he was like 4) when I was 7 I saw some *******s on tv do it, fuk Im a *******.... Idk maybe it was a nightmare i cant rlly remember it but i think we did... if i did im definetly on ******* level.
    Damn bro.

    Originally Posted by Gooner89 View Post
    My parents were never around as a kid because of work so I spent a lot of nights at a friends house and would stay over. His mom was like a second mother to me and was the nicest lady I had ever met. I was obsessed with her for some reason even though looking back she was 5/10 at best. So i'm staying over one night (i'm 13 at the time) and my friend falls asleep. I don't know what came over me but the next thing I know I am creeping towards her room. I open her door and crawl near her bed and start to jerk it. I am almost finished when she suddenly wakes up and starts screaming as if her life is about to end. I quickly fall backwards into her dresser and start screaming JUST as I explode some proteins and tuck in my junk. She turns on her lamp and starts yelling (is divorced so no husband next to her) and I pretend to look stunned and scared, asking where I was claiming to have just woken up from "sleep walking" which I did frequently back then. I begin to fake semi tear up from my "embarrassment" so she calms me down and gives me a hug. I'm fairly sure she saw my pants and figured I had pissed myself from fear. I go to the bathroom and clean up then go back downstairs. Not a single word was ever said about what happened. I remember not being able to sleep with the biggest grin on my face that whole night.
    Nice as ****

    Originally Posted by GlassAtmosphere View Post
    My close friends know these things but I make sure nobody outside of that circle finds out.

    I take pictures of my poops if I think they look beautiful enough.
    I write on the walls with my turds or I write on paper if I'm lazy (takes too much work to get poop off the walls)
    I'm extremely paranoid & everynight I lay in bed expecting somebody to break in & try to kill me & my family, so I plot how I'll get everyone out safely & kill the person that's entered my home.
    I'm sexually attracted to cats. I know it would be wrong if I did anything sexual with them so awhile back when they'd really turn me on, I'd gently bite on their sides, not hard enough for them to feel it. Kind of like gumming them.
    When I was a kid I thought my teddy bear impregnated me. Took a year for me to realize I wasn't pregnant.
    I've gone weeks without showering a few times. Sometimes I like to go without showering for a few days & sit with my legs spread & smell my crotch funk.

    See, I tell my close friends stuff like this because I can't help but to laugh at myself, & I want to share the lulz.

    You are fuking weird brah.

    Originally Posted by sum41gp View Post
    When I was really depressed last year, I would stand in front of my bathroom mirror and cut a line into my face with a box cutter. Did this for two weeks straight because I was worried it wouldn't scar. Can't honestly say why I did it now, but I just remember doing it night after night listening to this damn song:



    Now I've got this scar that's really noticeable when my face gets red or out in the sun. Dad asked me about it this past summer while we were working on his boat, and I told him I had gotten into a fight and the kid punched me with a ring.
    Can;t tell if serious..
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  8. #1238
    AVI: 179 pounds. Jelly? ThCweights's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by collegecutie91 View Post
    And this, children, is why you should say NO to drugs...

    You mad I have a degree, a 3.89 gpa, a 143 IQ rating, and I've tried many illicit substances in my short life?


    Also









    Would smash srs.
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  9. #1239
    Registered User handyman89's Avatar
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    put peanut butter on my sack and shaft and let dog lick...jk...but serious
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  10. #1240
    Registered User joeybadabooch's Avatar
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    brought a pile of clothes from the lost and found into my middle school bathroom and watched my friend dump on them
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  11. #1241
    I Support Single Moms. ChaseB1991's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by joeybadabooch View Post
    brought a pile of clothes from the lost and found into my middle school bathroom and watched my friend dump on them
    lmfao hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..

    one time in high school (bertstare) my friends dared me to do the ultimate prank.

    fast forward a week, im standing in line to use the nurses restroom (principal closed EVERY male restroom in the school for a week b/c some jackass took a **** in a paper towel and wiped it all over the mirrors, bathroom stalls, walls, and door handle...

    I'm that jackass. Nobody knows but the misc.
    *Sniff Hard As Fuk When A Girl Passes To Smell Vagina Crew*
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  12. #1242
    Miscogynist Alfha's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MuscleTransform View Post
    -I still play with action figures .... (I actually played today it was Iron man vs Leonardo TMNT)

    Duuuuuuuuuuuuuudeee, I lawld irl!!
    Since I posted, I'll include one of mine:

    As above poster did, I humped the bed n' ****. The cooler thing was, I had this giant teddy bear. Cute, cuddly, fuzzy, everyone loved it. So did I, I ****ed the **** out of it. I'd leave cum stains on him though. I was like . . . dunno, early elementary school I think.
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  13. #1243
    Registered User dragginrabbit's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by fieldysnutz View Post
    everyone does the spread eagle nutsack in breeze pose while in bed brah
    True story.
    I once came while putting the handle of the mower against my cawk while it was running. I was about 10 or so....
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  14. #1244
    wizard sleeve Levronewannabe's Avatar
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    smell hands after nutsack

    smell of feet gives me weirdest boner

    fapped in a trailer with my buddy sleeping across from me, couldn't see his face but soon as i was done he "woke up"

    successfully sucked my own dick, never again

    love my farts

    fapped in highschool bathroom while dirty texting girl from that class

    **** pants in grade 6 and just walked out of class and took a nap at home
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  15. #1245
    Banned Cooplax12's Avatar
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    Tried to find male g spot. Put candle in my anoos in the shower using shampoo as lube
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  16. #1246
    Registered User Hobiebrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Levronewannabe View Post

    successfully sucked my own dick, never again
    Tried so many times almost snapped my back trying
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  17. #1247
    Taiwanese American Brah wildabeest's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vegliv View Post
    I wasn't sure if I was straight a couple years ago and went down on a girl.
    1 year band camp survivor

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  18. #1248
    God Mode bdub2070's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by vegliv View Post
    If I get too drunk I'll piss with friends in semi-public places (side of a house, behind a bar, front of an apt building, parking lot...).
    I've experimented with swinging.
    Before I tried ganj I smoked oregano from a tin can out my bedroom window to see if I could tolerate the smoke.
    I wasn't sure if I was straight a couple years ago and went down on a girl.

    Why does it seem men have a fascination with their ****.
    Got a chubby reading this and pulled it out while looking at this girl's pics. (srs)
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  19. #1249
    8=======>~~~~OP wheelz_of_steel's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Devon501 View Post
    Brah I use to hump the bed to, could actually climax after enough vigorous thrusting (no homo). Best day ever when I discovered the art of fapping (semi srs)

    Any of you *******s ever 'circle jerk'? My friend says he use to masturbate with his other friends when he was really young. I bertstared him and told him thats weird/****gy as phuck but he makes out its more common than you think. I've never heard of anyone else do that though
    Lol. I don't know many people who have participated in circle jerks, but EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM swears it's very common, totally normal, and not gay at all. Yeah, ok then...
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  20. #1250
    Registered User Hobiebrah's Avatar
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    I think one on one is more common than a group thing
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  21. #1251
    Registered User milkfat343's Avatar
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    done coke more time than i can count lol (10+ times)

    but i guess thats pretty normal compared to some of you fetus eaters
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  22. #1252
    Banned staydetermined's Avatar
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    I masturbate to Facial Abuse, Ghetto Gaggers, and Latina Abuse..
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  23. #1253
    Strong SN to post content Wtf?'s Avatar
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    Some of these posts are too ridiculous to believe.
    1k.
    I rape back faster if you paste a link in rape box.
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  24. #1254
    Do I even lift? Lightner11's Avatar
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    this thread is so amazing

    cant believe the **** some of you guys pull off.

    i feel quite normal after reading all this
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  25. #1255
    DC Devotee WorldStrike's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ChaseB1991 View Post
    one time in high school (bertstare) my friends dared me to do the ultimate prank.

    fast forward a week, im standing in line to use the nurses restroom (principal closed EVERY male restroom in the school for a week b/c some jackass took a **** in a paper towel and wiped it all over the mirrors, bathroom stalls, walls, and door handle...

    I'm that jackass. Nobody knows but the misc.
    Wouldn't the friends who dared you to do it know about it as well...?
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  26. #1256
    Baltic bro Thefokusas's Avatar
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    - used 500$ on "phone sex" from moms phone at age of 13
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  27. #1257
    Registered User woodie2007's Avatar
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    You guys are just wrong, only thing I'm ashamed of is having sex with a girl with downsyndrome.
    ☆Official☆☆Sniffing dads boxers since we were young crew☆
    ** Secret crush on girls with downsyndrome crew **

    Neg me please your all a bunch of retards
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  28. #1258
    shall not be infringed ABSPR's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by woodie2007 View Post
    You guys are just wrong, only thing I'm ashamed of is having sex with a girl with downsyndrome.
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  29. #1259
    Registered User Bvltz's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by hulkz View Post
    I had "sex" with my friend, we were both like 10 and just curious. I stuck my peenor in his ass for few times and ****ed him, then he did the same to me. We never ever talked about it.
    Good job sir... I think you win the weird mother fuker award of 2011.
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  30. #1260
    Registered User go0ber's Avatar
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    while out at a party, i fell passed out at some friend of a friends house. Sometime in the night, I puked up pizza/booze all over their new couch. I flipped the cushions and left, they never knew who I was

    edit: Fapping in a work truck, into an empty sandwhich bag, while driving in rushour traffic. That awkward moment when I realized the guy passing me in a semi, saw everything.
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