Things we do or have done that we would never tell anyone In Real Life (srs)(gtfih)

[TallBrah]

fapping to finish in back of spanish class to a teacher that was a 5/10

[Jeremyn87]

I wet my toilet paper when I wipe my ass.
That's why I only use Charmin, since it's the only one which won't tear.
It's even reached a point where having the sink in arms reach of the toilet is a major selling point whenever I look for an apartment.
I also soap and spray my azzhole/crack in the shower.

[Wtf?]

edit: Fapping in a work truck, into an empty sandwhich bag, while driving in rushour traffic. That awkward moment when I realized the guy passing me in a semi, saw everything.

lulz. At least he didn't get a cellphone pic and you became one of those pics people post everywhere in forums.

[Gayfish]

When I was younger I had a bad habit of scratching the inside of my butt hole after taking a dump. It felt better than masturbating (srs), but sometimes I would start bleeding and it was generally pretty disgusting.

[Omega6639]

Back when I was like 14 I almost joined a hardcore satanic cult. I was into black metal and didn't take any of the **** seriously, thought it was just some spiritual **** with meditating and everything and was harmless. Then found out one of the guys I was in contact with had warrants out for multiple crimes including murder and the leader was in prison for life. Got out of that **** immediately. They used a ton of brainwashing tactics to try and get me to join. Actually read up on the group later on and it's some scary ****.

[TrollorT]

Go on.....

[WorldStrike]

Good job sir... I think you win the weird mother fuker award of 2011.

Hardly...sexual curiosity at that age usually festers itself in that way. Most guys at that age just have guy friends, so naturally their curiosity ends up having to be towards the boys they're around simply because they don't have any females to experiment with. That's the reason anyone in this thread who's done ****ed up sexual stuff at that age to a female is usually saying "my step cousin" or something along those lines...family around your age is typically the only females you'll really end up having a lot of time to spend with.

/psychology

I would give the "weird mother fuker" award to some of the people here talking about playing with their poop even in their older years. Don't know wtf is going on there, that seems like something that a ****ed up childhood would bring.

[GM54]

i dont know if i should be comforted or deeply fukn frightened that the deepest darkest **** i would never admit to anyone like 90% of you have done lololol

[Wtf?]

I would give the "weird mother fuker" award to some of the people here talking about playing with their poop even in their older years. Don't know wtf is going on there, that seems like something that a ****ed up childhood would bring.

lol..agreed.
The most "poop playing" I did as a kid was me and friends picked up my dog's poop and smeared it on another kid's bike who we hated. We used a baggie to pick it up at least. Kid was a little a**hole and deserved it and 20+ years he still is.

[harryk387]

weirdest thing ive done that im willing to admit.

fapped on to a piece of paper, once i was done i lifted it to my nose to take a sniff and it accidentally touched my nose.

[_Ishy]

You guys are all wierd as fcuk.

[Dipman00]

Im reading all the kunts sayin people are weird for average things and just realising how weird i actually am

[Bearaus]

-Goto rank 30 overall on runescape after wasting neally 3 years of my life on it, nobody knew at school just told them I sleep alot in my free time

-Wet the bed when I was 18 after drinking to much on the night

-Fapped to ******** pics

[redneckdeisel]

I would regularly bring my gf home after class my freshman year of college and bang her just about daily. She was a really loud screamer, bet neighbors could hear everytime i brought her home. Well dad works like 15 minutes away and would randomly come home to pick up his bike to go riding after work. Needless to say i never knew he would come home like twice a week while i was banging my gf and he would be in the house. Found out when he told me i needed to figure out how to f**k her more quietly. Awkward

[Odyssey92]

I would regularly bring my gf home after class my freshman year of college and bang her just about daily. She was a really loud screamer, bet neighbors could hear everytime i brought her home. Well dad works like 15 minutes away and would randomly come home to pick up his bike to go riding after work. Needless to say i never knew he would come home like twice a week while i was banging my gf and he would be in the house. Found out when he told me i needed to figure out how to f**k her more quietly. Awkward

Not weird at all, you'redoingitwrong.

[wildphucker]

Wtf did I just read...

What did it taste like? Does it taste way it smells?

Tastes exactly hjow it smells, with an incredibly bitter and acidic taste to boot

[BrohemianRat]

When i was in middle school/ high school i would imagine what i would do to the 9/10's in class if i could freeze time

hahaha holy **** this.

[kurent]

I can't be the only one that wipes his penis with toilet paper after taking a piss can I? I mean at least one more drop always comes out.

[fat2fit21]

I can't be the only one that wipes his penis with toilet paper after taking a piss can I? I mean at least one more drop always comes out.

I do man, those 1-3 drops in my boxers feels bad man.

[mattycull]

I piss in the sink at home/work because I like to look at myself in the mirror (srs)

this cept while brushing teeth to multitask lulz

[ThCweights]

I would regularly bring my gf home after class my freshman year of college and bang her just about daily. She was a really loud screamer, bet neighbors could hear everytime i brought her home. Well dad works like 15 minutes away and would randomly come home to pick up his bike to go riding after work. Needless to say i never knew he would come home like twice a week while i was banging my gf and he would be in the house. Found out when he told me i needed to figure out how to f**k her more quietly. Awkward

Hahhahaha cool dad is cool

[dff4gdsfg]

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...ight=magnetron read this and got horny.

[CoreySky]

Ive been to the deep web...

[Bodybreak]

Ive done all the fukked up **** as a child.
Chit my pants, killed a goose, did fukked up things to people. All of this has been said so Ill two recent things that have happened in my life.

-Was in Cancun in August, high as fukk on E and starting to feel the booze as I was coming down. Started making out with a random club slut that clearly wanted the D. But as I was making out with her and the booze set in I got sick fast. Puked a lil bit while we were making out. Never seen a girl so disgusted in my life. Just caught a cab and went back to my hotel, puked my brains out for the rest of the night. Haven't told any of the guys I took the trip with.

-Waiting in line for Sander Van doorn at the Guv there was a solid 7/10 with a nice ass standing in front of me. Girl was clearly on coke and we discussed that if neither of us could find anyone that night we would fukk eachother at the end of the night. Anyways music comes on outside and Ive got my hands around her now because we were "cold" she starts grinding I get hard as fukk and bust. She didn't know that. Just went to the bathroom, took my boxers off and went commando that night. Ofc I see her at the end of the night walking out with another dude.

[Mr.NoPrint]

ive gotten completely naked when its gotten dark and seen how far i can get from my front door.

i used to sit on the floor near the front door masturbating with my laptop and would open the door to feel fresh air on my cock and draw attention to myself.

my grandpa walked in on me fapping, he was senile but i think he saw my cock. hes dead now so i guess it doesnt matter. /relief.

i pissed out of a second story window with an erection because I felt like it

i fap into my clothes all the time then dump them in my room for months on end.

i have used condoms in my bag from agesss ago, wrapped in old paper bags and tissues and ****.

[kittenmagic]

at schoolies when 17 fapped into a shot glass and waited for my mate to shot it...he knew and threw it on my face when i was watching tv.

pissed in a juice bottle during superbad at the movies...packed cinema people right next to me.

always put my finger on my wang pull the foreskin over finger, pull out and then smell it

[Wtf?]

Here's my most recent retard move:

Paid $20 for a month on "Hotmatch" just to e-stalk someone. We were talking off a forum like this. Conversation kind of died and got boring. I have seen like 5 different pictures and some are weird or creepy and some are cute so I can't even tell if she's worth meeting IRL. Was browsing the HM website just for lulz and she was on there. Apparently she's into the wiccan thing which is where the weirdness comes from. So I paid $20 to view a profile which sucked and only had 2 different pictures I hadn't seen before. Still can't decide if cute or just too weird. And her profile was as boring as her conversation skillz in email. So it cost me $20 to lose interest completely. Will not post pics.

By the way.....if any Estalkers on here want me to look up a profile for them.....let me know since I still have a couple weeks with my "silver" account.

[Prankzter]

ive gotten completely naked when its gotten dark and seen how far i can get from my front door.

i pissed out of a second story window with an erection because I felt like it

i fap into my clothes all the time then dump them in my room for months on end.

i have used condoms in my bag from agesss ago, wrapped in old paper bags and tissues and ****.

Fuark, im gonna go try the first one right now. Wil report back.

[dzr0001]

This chick my roommate was banging was being a real bitch. I was pretty drunk, so I went out to the drive way and proceeded to piss in her car. All over the dash,steering wheel, driver seat, etc.

If you are going to be a bitch. Lock your car doors.

[Criisp]

worked at mcdonalds for a summer in high school and they always gave me the worst jobs. didn't do anything but make fries and made me do all the dirty cleaning so the day after i quit i went back and pissed all over the mens washroom