I’m on a quest to find a heavenly blessed beauty whose beauty is divine and everlasting.
Nutrition and staying in shape is a big part of my life. So if you are a land beast you'll
save yourself some time if you just stop reading here and move on to your next prey. Please
don’t send me your messages telling me how shallow I am. “Shallow” is just a word fat people
made up so they can have a chance in the game of life without having to put effort in. Now
if you are someone who cares about your body and health feel free to continue. I’m looking
to meet people and maybe that special someone. The quickest way to get my pants off is to
make me a sandwich! if you’re naked when doing this it’s fine with me.
Hobbies: After a hard week of work I like to hit the town and let my hair down. That could
entail going to the club with friends and fighting the beat all night long. I'm always down
for something new as well. That could be sitting at home cuddling with a special someone
next to the fire on a cold night, watching Pretty Little Liars and discussing the difference
between jam and jelly during the commercial breaks. Now for this to happen it would require
that "special someone" to have extraordinary sandwich making capabilities and no gag reflex, but I'm not saying it's out of the question. In my free time I like to exercise my nack for writing romantic poems, if you play your cards right I might just write one about you.
Goals/Aspirations: When I was a young boy in the 4th grade I remember going to the history
museum and seeing this statue of Zeus. And as I was standing there mesmerized by the statue
I could hear my teacher telling the class that we could be anything we wanted to be. That
instant I decided I wanted to become a Greek god. From that moment on I was in the gym
every day, taking my multi and lifting heavy. By the time I was in middle school I was already
a straight up beast. I was making 8th grade girls’ panties wet when I would walk down the
hall, and every beta phaggot in the school was mirin' my jack3d fibras.
Let’s see here, what makes me unique? Well I have shagged over 2 thousand sex dolls and
slayed at least 10 PoF whales, in 10-G gravity, I know how to please a woman, The karma-sutra
book is my preferred reading material while going number two, I'm qualified to preform all
possible positions, rain, hail or shine. I have excelled at this thing we call sex: I possess
the endurance and experience of a Greek god, the power of 10 super saiyans and the speed of
a photon. For a life time supply of sandwiches you can have me.
Music: I like everything from classical to DJ Tiesto. But I can’t stand that emo/screamo racket they call music. It’s for the depressed and those who gave up on life. A man fights and fights and fights some more, because surrender is death and death is for pussies… and my ass ain’t no ****, I’m a ****ing champion.
Now after reading this if you think I am some sort of selfish and**** ******* you may want
to read on. I love the feeling I get after helping someone less fortunate than myself. For
instance: the other night I convinced a hooker named Laquisha to stop using her herpes as a
wall to hide her true self. I explained to her that she needed to drop those walls and spread
her wings; there are plenty of men out there who can look past the sores and see her inner
beauty. Without men like that, our news would be saturated with stories of women committing
suicide and we would never here of the real news like the next emerging fashion trend. Now
I’m a fashion savvy guy so I took her to Good Will and bought her a few turquoise necklaces
to give her a head start on the next trend and her new life.
First we sky dive out of Air Force One because President Ford told us to "get off my plane."
Then we land nicely on my speedboat driven by Charlie's Angels and gulp down some mimosas
real fast so there's time to put on our leather jackets and jump the shark. The crowd goes
wild (I'm kind of a big deal). Magnanimous man that I am, I wave my muscled arm and smile
my chiseled jaw. Laughing my hearty laugh, I tell you to wait as I fetched the Lamborghini.
You wait with baited breath as I zoom toward you. Just as you start to fear obliteration,
I turn the wheel sharply and do a barrel roll right above you. Only this isn't just any
barrel roll. I hand you a rose as our paths crossed and eyes met. The car slides to a
graceful stop and I gesture for you to get in. We drive off to the island's summit where
my helicopter to Jurassic Park awaits. We've spared no expense.