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  1. #1
    Unregistered User Schlangemann's Avatar
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    ITT: Best illness to fake to get out of work (have to convince a doctor)

    Aware me on your cunning ways misc, I need an illness that I can fake and a doctor will easily agree with.

    measly reps, maybe some boobs.

    Edit: inb4 dick leprosy
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  2. #2
    You Adamirin? AussieAdam's Avatar
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    Gastro, just had this legit myself but whe ya think about it when you say your leaking from the bum not many questions are asked
    I Do it because i can,
    I Can because i want to,
    I Want to because you said i couldn't.
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  3. #3
    ἄλφα-Tower Xantium's Avatar
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    boobs first then the misc helps u out!
    "As i walk through the valley of the shadow of death i have no fear because i am the meanest mother ****er in the hole valley. " - Gen George S. Patton
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  4. #4
    always hungry Dyess's Avatar
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    Back pain.
    **Yellow Fever Crew**

    *Proud supporter of roronoa3000*
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  5. #5
    ლ(ಠ益██████ Shoesfly's Avatar
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    A case of Phaggotry. The illness is rampant among your type of people, and I'm sure your doctor will agree.
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  6. #6
    Registered User sourkraut's Avatar
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    Give me his number and I'll take care of it for you...(srs)

    I can be extremely intimidating on the phone.

    I took a course at a local college in speaking aggressively and I passed as top of the class. In my final assessment I had to phone a payphone and verbally assault whoever answered. I made the woman who picked up at the other end throw up, she was so scared.

    I'll use a public payphone whilst wearing a Legolas mask so no one can backtrace any numbers or see my face on CCTV. That way no one can find me, you just need to deny to the police any knowledge of this when inevitably asked.
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  7. #7
    RepWeekReviewer fan chiefnz's Avatar
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    Migraine headache.

    pounding headache/sensitivity to light/possibly seeing a few stars.

    Boom. only really good for one or two days. But the excuse in the bag for next time. Run it once every few months.
    http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/CamelJockey/

    If you have an avi, gays are beating off to you. Congrats.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aw6G2e5rS0Q
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  8. #8
    Vlad the Impaler AZJ0SH's Avatar
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    Sinus Infection, just go in and say that your face hurts, cant breathe, itchy eyes, etc. Get perscribed some antibiotics but obvisouly never take them.
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  9. #9
    Registered User sourkraut's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AZJ0SH View Post
    Sinus Infection, just go in and say that your face hurts, cant breathe, itchy eyes, etc. Get perscribed some antibiotics but obvisouly never take them.
    until you have to go get an xray..
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  10. #10
    Registered User PlsGtfo's Avatar
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    "Im a phaggot doctor. I got gang banged by 5 big black guys and my anus hurts."
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  11. #11
    Registered User niqrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sourkraut View Post
    Give me his number and I'll take care of it for you...(srs)

    I can be extremely intimidating on the phone.

    I took a course at a local college in speaking aggressively and I passed as top of the class. In my final assessment I had to phone a payphone and verbally assault whoever answered. I made the woman who picked up at the other end throw up, she was so scared.

    I'll use a public payphone whilst wearing a Legolas mask so no one can backtrace any numbers or see my face on CCTV. That way no one can find me, you just need to deny to the police any knowledge of this when inevitably asked.
    I just shed a tear with pride, a post of mine has been used as a copypasta.
    An elephant never forgets, so my dick remembers everything
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  12. #12
    Unregistered User Schlangemann's Avatar
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    Cheeky kunts.


    Here's a nice set of boobies.

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  13. #13
    Registered User MontelWilliams's Avatar
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    say you ate at a cookout yesterday evening and today you woke up with diarrhea and vomiting...
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  14. #14
    EyeBrah Bohdizzle's Avatar
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    A cold can get you a week off due to most companies not wanting it spread,

    - Fake cough before hands to get your throat nice and red
    - turn up to the appointment in VERY trashy clothes (worst trackies etc, shows you are sick and don't care.)
    - and try to sound nasaly, talk from the back of your throat if that makes sense to you.
    - also breathe through your mouth the entire time, shows your nose is blocked.


    (srs, i was a serial sickness faker back in school, averaged 40 days a year sick, all of them had a doctors certificate because i was a great actor)
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  15. #15
    Registered User KillahJon's Avatar
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    Stomache Virus.
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  16. #16
    Registered User ziggy5121's Avatar
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    death
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  17. #17
    Vlad the Impaler AZJ0SH's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sourkraut View Post
    until you have to go get an xray..
    Why the **** would you get an x-ray for a sinus infection? Are you retarded?
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  18. #18
    Banned bumbaclartz's Avatar
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    aids
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  19. #19
    Registered User marin3muscl3's Avatar
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    lol i always use gastro. no way they can tell
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  20. #20
    music is so cool perplex's Avatar
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    just say you have a horrible spell of nauseousness.
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  21. #21
    Registered User sourkraut's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AZJ0SH View Post
    Why the **** would you get an x-ray for a sinus infection? Are you retarded?
    infection can cause inflammation and cause fluid build up in your sinuses - all of which an xray can show.

    source: IM A FUCING RADIOGRAPHER.
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  22. #22
    Professional Canadian Mac_xX's Avatar
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    Migraines. I get them for real and the Doc has told me that there is no way to test for them, making them perfect for this.
    Canucks/Chiefs/Jays/Raps
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  23. #23
    Vlad the Impaler AZJ0SH's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sourkraut View Post
    infection can cause inflammation and cause fluid build up in your sinuses - all of which an xray can show.

    source: IM A FUCING RADIOGRAPHER.
    You're a scam artist if you convice people to get an xray over a sinus infection, it's not necessary. If you have an infection, you take antibiotics, it's simple.

    You don't need a ****ing x-ray to know you have a sinus infection jackass.
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  24. #24
    Registered User undie28's Avatar
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    depression
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  25. #25
    Brozerker Vikingblood666's Avatar
    Join Date: Jul 2010
    Location: United States
    Stats: 5'11", 250 lbs
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    stomach flu works every time.... Doc i need something cuz I am ****ting my brains out. Pretty easy
    I want to walk across the Rainbow Bridge
    And see my fathers in the golden hall
    They beckon me to join their feast
    In my dreams I hear their call

    - Amon Amarth

    Smite IGN: Templarblade
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  26. #26
    Banned Incorrigible's Avatar
    Join Date: Jun 2011
    Location: Saafend, Essex, United Kingdom (Great Britain)
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    Diarrhea or however you spell it. Just say you have that. They won't even ask anything more.
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  27. #27
    Registered User oldgames's Avatar
    Join Date: Jul 2011
    Location: New Zealand
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    No illness is the best illness. Just say you arent feeling well and cant come in. While talking on phone if you need 2 explain urself for some reason just say you are heading out to the doctor rite nao. Say youll bring a medical certificate... and then dont. Not required if not away for 5 days.

    Sources:
    Faked being sick 1000 times.
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