12k reps if i use your ******** Status, Go!

[Workout4ever]

funny

cool

w/e, go

[KoN2o9]

funny

cool

w/e, go

A gurl was walkin 2 skewl wit her bf n they were crossin da rode. she sed "bbz will u luv me 4evr" he said "NO..""
da gurl cryed N ran across da rode b4 da green man came on the sine. boy was cryin and went to pic up her body.
she was ded.
he whsipered 2 her corpse
"I ment to sey I will luv u FIVE-ever......"
(dat mean he luv her moar dan 4evr.....)
Who the **** made this ****? Lol?

[threllum1]

decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!

[George Costanza]

#aesthetics

[threllum1]

wanted to kill the sexiest person alive…But suicide’s a crime

[OldSoulFlex]

it's a little cheesy , but it got like 15 likes and makes me get a cheap lul every time


I just read an article on the dangers of heavy drinking... scared the hell out of me. So thats it, after today... no more reading!

[forthenoodz]

iron man is a superhero
iron woman is a command

[RedSoxBrah]

haha it sounds kind of gay, but I'm starting to fear my own strength. I've been getting stronger and stronger every time I hit the gym, that now I have to use those heavy ass dumbells no one uses, and alot of 45 pound plates on all my barbell workouts. I dont have a gym partner so its kind of intimidating to do certain workouts alone with such heavy iron. Anyone have this little phobia? lol it wont stop me, but I'm getting really big into stretching cause the fear of injury from these workouts. It's kind of scary, lol.

[Paid_ThankYou]

I heard on the news today that midgets in my area are being pick-pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?

[wulpurgis]

٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃)۶




_̴ı̴̴̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡ ̡͌l̡*̡̡ ̴̡ı̴̴̡ ̡̡͡|̲̲̲͡͡͡ ̲▫̲͡ ̲̲̲͡͡π̲̲͡͡ ̲̲͡▫̲̲͡͡ ̲|̡̡̡ ̡ ̴̡ı̴̡̡ ̡͌l̡̡̡



┣▇f͟͞a͟͞c͟͞e͟͞b͟͞o͟͞o͟͞k͟͞▇▇═─™ This drug is very efficient for cases of chronic boredom. Extra doses can lead to addiction.

[bonacris]

congratulations to amy winehouse, more than 24 hours sobritiy.

many lulz were had

[Patient Bear]

Like my status and I'll tell you what's your best feature

[glm_is_sexy]

My job is so ****ing unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the ****ing stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big ****ing dog to work. Every ****ing day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single ****ing day.

Anyway, I drive these ****tards around in my van and we solve mysteries and ****.

[Mattloljk]

live.laugh.love!! <3<3

[George Costanza]

If Casey Anthony WAS a MILF, what is she now?

[imapos]

It was my mate's funeral this week. He was always a practical joker, and fair play, he made us laugh right to the end. Silly ****er had the coffin rigged somehow so that when it was being lowered into the ground, a tape of him saying, "Ha! Fooled you... I'm alive!" started playing. It was followed by things like, "Lads... Really. I'm not dead, let me out!"

We were all in stitches. Even the Vicar was pissing himself.

RIP Dave... ****ing legend.

[ShortMonster]

Some people need to stop wearing so much make up...They looked like they were gang banged by crayola

Being a real man doesn't mean you sleep with 100 girls. It means you fight for one girl even when 99 others are chasing you.

[rickbro]

Let me start from the beginning, I am 18 and my sister is 21. I just finished high school and my sister is home from college. I guess this year her grades started slipping or something, because I walked past her room and she was crying. I walked inside her room to ask her what's up and she hands me a letter - apparently she's up for review by her college for dismissal. I feel kinda sorry for her so I gave her a hug and one thing led to another and we started making out. This is really weird because I've made out with girls before, but my sister blows them all out of the water. In the back of my mind lies the fact that she's my sister and what we are doing is sick and wrong, but I guess my sister has more experience and it felt so ****ing good.

Here's the dilemma - after making out, she started taking her clothes off and she started pulling my pants down. I'm like, hey, what are you doing? She's like, oh come on, aren't you even a LITTLE curious? I felt bad because its true, my sister is a hottie and I always wished that she wasn't my sister. I've even gone as far as to fap to thoughts of doing her. She then said "For tonight, let's not be brother and sister. I really need this because I feel like **** right now and our parents won't be back till late and we aren't going to tell anyone.

I pretty much just ****ed my sister. No, to be more honest, I just lost my virginity to my sister. My question is WHAT THE **** DO I DO NOW?? What do people usually do after they **** their sisters?

[OptimusPoster]

I don't always have something witty to say, but when I do I make sure everyone on ******** knows about it.

[evilone777]

bishes gon bish

[LibidoBrah]

You can say lots of bad things about ****philes, but atleast they drive slowly through school zones.

[conflictsd]

ops a *******

[MikeyDread]

"The Trouble with qoutes on the Internet is that you never know if they're genuine" -Abrahalm Lincoln

[KillahJon]

First female to private message me gets laid.

[mangravy]

******** status was removed by ******** Admin team. Let this be a warning to you all!

[datgyno]

My ex girlfriend asked me "if I do anal, can I have bum babies?"

What do sluts call their "private parts"?

[Decept]

First make your status "****, don't you hate it when you cough and your cum falls out of your mouth?!"

and then a few seconds after comment on your status with "gum*"

[RedManly]

I'm like a white Vanilla Ice

[TopStarUSA]

'Damm it I'm mad' is 'Damm it I'm mad' backwards

[dunners99]

People who write diet books live off the fat of the land.