secrets of our industry

[NakedPut]

finance/stockbrokerage


-the fees you pay for your mutual fund accounts are a complete idiot tax on you, managers know this and lol @ you when you dump money into mutual funds
-the government departments make up numbers for economic reports to influence the prices you pay on stocks, then revises the numbers closer to real life later but nobody cares



investments

-if you are trying to copy someone else through something they are selling you (book/course), 95% of the time it doesn't work IRL but people 30-45yrs old love to buy this shiit non-stop, I have even thought about making some to get in on this free $
-with a few hours of work a month, you could effectively add +25% to your yearly income, nobody wants you to do this because they want to keep you working away for as long as possible
-if you are investing yourself and mad about prices on deals that go through, people frontrun the deals every single time in the options market but I think the SEC has 12 people on staff to look for these, so they never get caught
-the average investor is so far behind timewise in terms of where the markets are that people use the confidence of investors as an opposite signal of when to get in/out of the markets, example- when 60% of investors are bullish, smart big $ is selling and things are more probable to go down
-not really a secret, but if you didn't know and only read shiit on the news, and now you blame the government in the financial crash of 08, if the government hadn't stepped in things would've been at least 50x worse and possibly could've destroyed America (srs)


hedge funds

-anything we want to do for fun we write off as a business expense, I've seen/heard of hookers, strippers, coke, cars, and a "secretary" to blow one guy every day all written off as business expenses
however overall this can still be the best place for your $ and those things are deserved bonuses, u mad?
-i doubt anyone or very few people here have $ in a hedge fund, but if you or your parents do and you're one of the kind of people that call every week to check up, we fukcing hate you. Stop calling, we won't tell you shiit and really hate you for it. The calls are usually on speaker phone and everyone makes fun of you and talks about what a scared ******* you are
- all these groups lol @ people who believe in buy-and-hold, even mutual funds are adjusting portfolio holdings every day, buy & hold is for the birds
- a lot of hedge funds rapidly adopted black box "computer high frequency trading" boxes to try to keep up with competing funds, almost nobody knows wtf these computers are programmed to do, and the amount of times they do shiit they "shouldnt have" is amazing, this happens because they are all programmed by people who have no idea of the real world function and all the programs are based off the same original progams


investment banks

-complicated, but the govt literally hands money to some of these institutions because they can, in return, obama's campaign donations from wall st are even higher than the first time he ran, and they were high then too
-the bills that the government is passing after the financial crisis which are supposed to protect the 'average american' are actually designed to hurt the average consumer and benefit banks, bankers know this and lol @ you
-not really a secret, but when we hear about how mad people are at CEO, banker, or trader pays we lol @ you because you have no idea wtf you're talking about and no idea how the pay is earned. To contrast this, a guy I know who went to the public sector of regulation from the private finance world just saved the government/us taxpayer $16million and got a $1,500 bonus, and you wonder why nobody cares about finding fraud lol


retail stock accounts (you do it yourself on etrade/ameritrade/etc)

-all above groups lol @ you because you think you're getting around the idiot tax of mutual funds, the amount of games played on the opening and closing when retail accounts put "buy on open" or "buy on close" orders is insane and happens daily, they'll take ~.20% from you just based on the ****ty execution prices you get. And they seriously do lol @ you when this happens
-stock prices are intentionally driven through areas where you put your protective stop-loss orders, every group I listed above knows exactly where you put it, and they all are more than happy to work together, trigger your stops, buy the stock from you, and run it up after you're out. Same thing happens when you are sold stocks at new highs, they take it off your hands when it falls and you get shaken out, then gun it higher
-if you buy physical metals, all the above groups lol @ you again because of the premium you buy it at and the discount you'll have to sell it at. Again, there's ways we/they do it to make actual $, but when we hear statistics about people stocking up on physical gold or silver, it usually gives everyone a nice lol (srs)

This **** is common knowledge. Stop being a vague dumb**** and tell us specifics. Until then, your just another retail "trader" who thinks zero hedge is the bible.

[misterdeejay]

asian/vietnamese bakery:

- bread is baked fresh daily. (srs)
- if a customer is being a bitch or dick, we dont mess with your food, at the end of the day, we're the ones making solid bank off you guys.
- very very easy to only pay little amount of tax even though we making net profit of 300k+/year
- heaps of bread is often thrown out daily, from 1-10 garbage bags full.
- some bakeries are very clean, some are infested with rats.
- meat pies and sausage rolls are often made every 4-5days and kept in a coolroom.
- cakes that have no fresh cream (i.e. mudcakes, caramel slices, custard tarts) are often sustained for 2-5 day for sale.
- the Pate used as the brown spread in vietnamese pork rolls are 20% chicken liver 40% pork fat 40% canola oil.

[Curls89]

Used to work at Best Buy in the computer section

-A lot of our staff knew nothing about computers and was only hired because they sold protection plans well.
-Managers treat us like shyt if we don't sell add-ons.
-You really can't get discounts on computers themselves since there's not a very big markup, however if you are buying multiple items and protection plans management will give you a deal.
-LOL if you buy a "pre-setup" computer for $99.
-We don't make any commission and rarely ever get our quarterly bonuses.
-There's not a big difference between the dynex hdmi cables and the monster cables.
-We absolutely hate when people just come in to look around.
-We were almost always understaffed so don't complain when I can't answer a simple question about routers right away.

I'm probably forgetting a lot, ask if you have any questions.

[Odessy]

used to work in a funeral home and mortuary for several years (serious)


*we only dress the upperbody of the corpse, if you give us a whole suit we will probably just toss the trousers and the shoes because we put the person in a diaper and wrap a plastic bag around his lower body, then cover it up with a nice blanket up untill his hands, so that you will only see his upper body

*we glue their lips together

*sometimes body mix ups happen and we secretly have to dig them back up and swap them (srs)

Where are you from? This is not how things are done in the United States........

[CULTLEADER]

a lot of this stuff just seems like disgruntled douschebags that wreck your **** because their life sucks

Welcome to life

[TheRejuvenated]

Where are you from? This is not how things are done in the United States........

shh.

[Odessy]

Deathcare: Funeral (Pre-/) Arranger / Director & Embalmer

We see & hear things that you could never imagine. And no, we (the responsible bunch) will never share the details...

This

[Gslickcya]

i worked for an IT help desk.

common one i just fax you 1000 pages of bullcrap all i have to do is email a PDF to the fax server on a different computer.
I did it to a lawyer once he threatend us with legal action expenses of toner bla bla he ended up just changing fax number i win

s

Hes making bank as a lawyer and youre working an it position at a help desk and you win? What a peasant.

[youngbuckets5]

subbed and will read later

[skatestraight]

Work for a utility company:


Never argue with the utility companies, we always win
I go into a lot of houses, sometimes up to 100 in a day. No I dont care if you have a grow op in your basement. Would prefer to smell weed over piles of dog shiit anyday
And I do see a lot of naked women lulz, makes it worth it. They are usually decent looking too

[DaCougarMech]

pool manager here

watch your damn kids. one, because it's good parenting. two, because 75% of our lifeguards are 15 year olds with 5 days of training and ego-boosting with no idea how quickly a child can go under. on the flip side though, there's usually at least 3-4 highly competent lifeguards out of the 16 working that day if you actually need cpr/rescue-breathing

the image of a professional lifeguard is a lie. the certifications classes are pressured to pass many people since the host facility recruits from the students, so many people who should outright fail are passed and hired with the hopes that in-service training will improve their skills

dont argue with the lifeguard. we might have lazy, undertrained staff, but that only emphasizes the importance of when we actually interact with the customer to enforce a safety rule

we are not wizards. just because you think you lost your stuff at our pool doesnt mean we'll summon it if you ask about it

the extent to which any lifeguard can treat injuries is bandaid, gauze, icepack, 911. we're not doctors, and we'll hand off responsibility to the next level of medical professionals as soon as we can

[TheRejuvenated]

I sell IT to companies and Apple products have NO margin on them whatsoever.... I hate selling Apple... Applecare is the only thing with some profit.

how do you know? youre a red poster so youre prob full of crap but i just looked on google and seems like people are saying ipad2 cost $330 at the most to make, and they sell it at at least 400...

plus they made over a billion dollars profit last QUARTER so i doubt thats ALL applecare

[Kibbutz]

you dont ACTUALLY need to be a lawyer to do about half of what we do

[Tovixz]

subbed for fun

[newtmiscer]

how do you know? youre a red poster so youre prob full of crap but i just looked on google and seems like people are saying ipad2 cost $330 at the most to make, and they sell it at at least 400...

plus they made over a billion dollars profit last QUARTER so i doubt thats ALL applecare

are you trolling or just dumb

[MADBALDMAN]

HOORAY!!!

what do you want to know?

Sarasota, FL. and no. we raise them from birth to about 3 years old then ship them to OK to go to feed lots for their summer bulk, then they get slaughtered

Cattlebrah, can I buy grass-fed beef from you?

[Malfa]

welding inspector here...ask me anything

I actually care about what I do.......... If i didn't structures would fail and thats not cool with me......

i inspect welds inside tanks brah

[Yumadd]

someone add moar to this amazing thread.

[skytechnz]

Am an I.T security manager and have been for the last 6 years working for 2 multi billion dollar companies.

The information you put online about yourself is shared, companies break the privacy law all the time because no one can pinpoint it on who's sharing information or where you got it from. Companies store a **** tonne more data than you think they do, I would not be surprised if some of the larger companies that have feeds actually track in real time information you're typing. Even if you do not submit the form.

The specifics of my job are around anti fraud, development of tools to prevent losses and to be able to compare behavioral traits with other people. If you ever have conversations you shouldn't really be having on ********, phones etc don't bull**** yourself, the police do not need a ****in warrant to scoop every piece of data you're putting through. Spiders are made to track information across websites/phones for "analytical research" basically if you say certain keywords/behave in a certain manor you'll hit a trigger and someone will be reading on the other end.

Being on a bodybuilding forum drugs are fairly prolific, so if you're ever discussing gear I wouldn't recommend doing it to anyone unless you're face to face with them. Your texts, phone calls, emails, ********... these all pass through the same filters.

Oh and don't piss off customer support reps that have a large amount of information on you. You have no idea how easy it is to **** with someone's entire life and get away with it.

- dont use icafes.. ever
- check your computer regularly for spyware / viruses as people can activate mics/cams & rife through financials
- dont store any sensitive information you wouldn't like other people to know on your computer unless you know how to stay safe

Put some logging programs on your own PC to record your executable files and the run times.


Some of the **** I've known people have done..

- Posted bank accounts, credit cards and personal information onto scam websites because a person abused them on the phone. The customer lost about 30k and had no insurance.
- Sit on proxies buying sex toys and sending them to your family addressed to yourself and you paying for it
- ****ing with friends/spouses on ******** accounts, forum accounts or emails
- crashing computers / deleting anything that looks like it's valuable information
- passing your address / accounts / friends to known criminals so they're likely to break into your house. Have also given them the times you're at work to make sure no one's home.

Not even the half of it :\

[DPBizzle]

^^ I.don't.want.to.live.on.this.computer.anymore.jpg

[Patient Bear]

^holy ****

[Carson92]

I'm a part time Auto Detailer and enthusiast.


95% of the people who claim to be detailers don't know enough to be using chemicals on your car. There are many chemicals that can damage finishes, brakes, upholstery, etc. and they have no clue.

The products most people use to "polish" your car contain a high level of oils and just fill the swirl marks etc. in, after a few rainstorms the car looks like **** again. Waxes and **** they use don't last at all. They just look good for a few days then its back to normal cause it washes away.

If you see someone break out the wool pad and rotary without trying any other combinations, run.

Those 2-year coatings from the dealer are complete bull**** and based off of the odds that you won't cash in on the warranty. There are some long lasting coatings out there, but you better damn believe they don't know about them.

Dealerships are some of the worst offenders, next to car washes. Dealerships upcharge like crazy, and sometimes middlemen there overcharge because they have their own workers.

Products to avoid- Simonize, Turtle Wax, Nu-Finish

You get what you pay for, the Groupon deals for 1/2 off aren't worth it.

Auto car washes damage your paint- nylon brushes using recycled water and dirty from all day of washing couple with harsh degergents = bad.

All I can think of off the top of my head, PM if you have any questions

I'll add on to this one cause auto detail/auto care chemicals is the family business.

-Like what was said above, if it sounds too easy to make your car look good, it won't work. Real paint reconditioning takes time, skill, and quality cutting compound. A color wax won't do anything, whatever it is in the orange bottle that claims to be a once a year wax on wax off miracle doesn't work, etc.
-Keep your brushes and shammys clean cause they'll damage your paint hard if they aren't clean. A tiny bit of grit on a brush or shammy can screw up paint real fast.
-"If you see someone break out the wool pad and rotary without trying any other combinations, run. " <<< This hard. Any backyard mechanic thinks he can fix paint if you just crank up the buffer high enough and use a ton of compound; definitely not. The best detailer in our area doesn't touch a rotary buffer 95% of the time, and his cars come out better than any others in the area, bar none.
-If you can find a dealer who will sell you high quality detailing products that are normally distributed to recon departments, don't buy from him unless you know what you're doing. We hate getting blamed for fukups that happen because the person didn't know what he/she was doing.

Probably a lot of other little things I can't think off right now.

[SuperShamou]

The information you put online about yourself is shared, companies break the privacy law all the time because no one can pinpoint it on who's sharing information or where you got it from. Companies store a **** tonne more data than you think they do, I would not be surprised if some of the larger companies that have feeds actually track in real time information you're typing. Even if you do not submit the form.

The specifics of my job are around anti fraud, development of tools to prevent losses and to be able to compare behavioral traits with other people. If you ever have conversations you shouldn't really be having on ********, phones etc don't bull**** yourself, the police do not need a ****in warrant to scoop every piece of data you're putting through. Spiders are made to track information across websites/phones for "analytical research" basically if you say certain keywords/behave in a certain manor you'll hit a trigger and someone will be reading on the other end.

i always felt while making my ******** profile, was basically filling in the blanks for my police profile.... dunno though i'm not worried... so many people are way to open about weed and chit...

i do know that the dept of Fisheries and oceans troll/watch ******** looking for people selling fish caught under food licences/poaching though... which is sort of a big deal ******** is a federally blocked website.(i worked for the federal government when ******** caught on & when it wasn't a household name, you couldn't access it)... not sure if they got special snooping powers or anything, they just mentioned how funny that most people will talk openly about poaching and leave their privacy settings as default.

[TaylorCall]

In on this thread

[ritz1024]

farkkk some of the stuff are unbelievable...moarrr

[BeastMode101]

Am an I.T security manager and have been for the last 6 years working for 2 multi billion dollar companies.

The information you put online about yourself is shared, companies break the privacy law all the time because no one can pinpoint it on who's sharing information or where you got it from. Companies store a **** tonne more data than you think they do, I would not be surprised if some of the larger companies that have feeds actually track in real time information you're typing. Even if you do not submit the form.

The specifics of my job are around anti fraud, development of tools to prevent losses and to be able to compare behavioral traits with other people. If you ever have conversations you shouldn't really be having on ********, phones etc don't bull**** yourself, the police do not need a ****in warrant to scoop every piece of data you're putting through. Spiders are made to track information across websites/phones for "analytical research" basically if you say certain keywords/behave in a certain manor you'll hit a trigger and someone will be reading on the other end.

Being on a bodybuilding forum drugs are fairly prolific, so if you're ever discussing gear I wouldn't recommend doing it to anyone unless you're face to face with them. Your texts, phone calls, emails, ********... these all pass through the same filters.

Oh and don't piss off customer support reps that have a large amount of information on you. You have no idea how easy it is to **** with someone's entire life and get away with it.

- dont use icafes.. ever
- check your computer regularly for spyware / viruses as people can activate mics/cams & rife through financials
- dont store any sensitive information you wouldn't like other people to know on your computer unless you know how to stay safe

Put some logging programs on your own PC to record your executable files and the run times.


Some of the **** I've known people have done..

- Posted bank accounts, credit cards and personal information onto scam websites because a person abused them on the phone. The customer lost about 30k and had no insurance.
- Sit on proxies buying sex toys and sending them to your family addressed to yourself and you paying for it
- ****ing with friends/spouses on ******** accounts, forum accounts or emails
- crashing computers / deleting anything that looks like it's valuable information
- passing your address / accounts / friends to known criminals so they're likely to break into your house. Have also given them the times you're at work to make sure no one's home.

Not even the half of it :\

wtf man, that's so messed up.

as a college brah do you have tips/advice on what classes to take in order to learn how to protect my computer/private information? like how to be a computer genius?

[CULTLEADER]

Yep, this guy definitely lied to his Shrink to get some of dat der adderal. (not srs)

I actually just recently used a box cutter to slice up my shoulder so I could lie to a teacher about being insanely depressed which caused me to miss a test (I really just overslept lo). People will do a lot for attention/ their own benefit. Lots of people who you think are ****ed up are just going to extreme lengths to get what they want, weather it be a cop out, drugs, attention or sympathy. Most of the people I know who are REALLY depressed dont bother with making a show of it.

[RedAccord]

Threads like this is exactly why bb.com misc=********** /b/. Although some of this stuff here is legit (for example, car advice), other crap is clearly made up for entertainment/trolling purposes. It's all a good read, but lol if you believe half the crap posted here.

[samsumon]

Work at a bank...We don't care about you,just your money..We will show you how much we lied when you ask to waive a fee..And realistically, banks need a way to make money..Holding your money does not do much for the bank. Its the over draft fee's,check cashing fee's, money order/cashier check fees..Hell some banks want 5 dollars for us to transfer money from your checking to your saving...Serious..I waive the fee every time because I refuse to scam someone for something so simple..

But yea,other than that..I will go as far as I can for YOU...As long as I stay within my rights,and you aren't a disrespectful dick...Also,bank managers have some leeway on waiving fee's. But most don't. They are just there to keep the place in some order. Other than that,bank managers are useless and just sit on their ass all day and push out sales goals..Thats it.

[skytechnz]

wtf man, that's so messed up.

as a college brah do you have tips/advice on what classes to take in order to learn how to protect my computer/private information? like how to be a computer genius?

You could do a security course, dunno why you'd want to for home use. Maybe just attend a couple of network security, virus/spyware conferences that nortons or whatever holds. I'm sure they have multiple in your country. I use our own internal security software we've developed sorry.

I generally run on the rule of thumb that anything online about myself I don't want people knowing, I don't put it online or on my computer. But even then there's so much data on myself I know that someone in my role even browsing publicly accessible information could pinpoint exactly who I am in real life just because I'm an extensive internet user through forums etc.

If you want to stay safe, encrypt your details, learn how to do 3 stage cleans of your hard drives etc as this will wipe information 99.9% of people cannot attain even in security areas. Specialists with a reason to dig would be able to retrieve anything however.

If you're actually interested in the field look up some bachelor of sciences majoring in forensic computer science courses at universities nearby and attend some seminars. The career is definitely an interesting one.

As an example of one of my days:

Prosecuting someone on 57 counts of obtain by deception and using a computer for dishonest purpose
3x disagreements on goods not being delivered as described (stat decs etc)
Intellectual property scraper development for tracking purposes across forum based websites
Monitoring auction based vehicle traders and removing users attempting to scam
Did some penetration testing for our firewalls on our new website
Monitoring and removing users across the 20 platforms we have from suspicious locations
preventative testing for a new tool I'm building which monitors human behaviour across platforms registering
Took down a couple of phishing websites & corrupted the data hosted

It's pretty fun, just a "grown ups job" want to head off and chase my dream. Will return one day as it seems I'm pretty good at it


If you have any proper questions about the role just PM me.