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  1. #1
    Proponent of Elitism ZenBowman's Avatar
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    The squat toilet thread - the cure to all your anal problems

    Warning: Do not do this on an unmodified toilet - severe injury may result

    Introduction

    In the last few months, I have seen thread after thread complaining about hemorrhoids and generally poor digestive health. In this thread I will reveal the secret of how to maintain excellent digestive health.

    First things first, I suggest you play the following song while reading this thread.




    Man as a self-cleaning organism

    To suggest that one needs fancy enemas and other sorts of "cleansers" to flush their digestive system is simply rubbish. Man has lived on this Earth for millions of years prior to the invention of such gimmicks. If man had not adapted to be a self-cleaning organism, we would have died off eons ago.

    Is fiber the only relevant variable?

    Let us consider what prohibits us from cleaning our own internal system. There are several potential causes. The most common cause for hemorrhoids is a lack of fiber in the diet - BUT, while it is true you need fiber in order to make a good solid piece of waste and to encourage the development of bacteria in the gut, it doesn't really explain why intra-abdominal pressure would be so elevated so as to destroy your anus.

    Fiber is a component of good digestive health along with fermented products (my preference is plain whole-milk yogurt, but any fermented product with live bacterial cultures is fine). However, but I believe it is totally unrelated to hemorrhoids.

    Dealing with the real problem - a look at intestinal alignment

    Take a look at the following image:


    When you try and poop while sitting, you are in an extremely disadvantageous position. The human digestive system is extremely specialized to bipedal motion, allowing us to control our defecation - if not, gravity would force us to be in a near-constant state of defecation.

    Take a look at our intestines:



    Your waste has to go into the ileocecal valve, go upwards against gravity, and then go down again, finally expelling itself. This can only be achieved through the use of pressure to counteract gravity - this is why people strain like crazy on the toilet.

    The squatting position for defecation

    However, when you use the squatting position to defecate, the requirement for intra-abdominal pressure is greatly reduced, because your right thigh squeezes against the abdomen, performing two functions:
    1. Squeezing the the waste out of the cecum (creating pressure through reduction of volume)
    2. Sealing off the ileocecal valve (again, through the pressure of the thigh) to prevent leakage

    In addition, the left thigh raises and squeezes the sigmoid colon, preventing incomplete defecation and hernias (which are also called by excessive intra-abdominal pressure).

    How do I convert my normal toilet to a squat toilet?

    Three simple options, the first involves laying bricks and using an adhesive to keep them secure, as shown here:


    The second option is simply to buy a squat toilet conversion kit. Nature's Platform offers one in the US:
    http://www.naturesplatform.com/



    The third option, and probably the best option, is to install a squat toilet in place of your regular toilet (unfortunately this is probably only for homeowners who have 2 or more toilets in the house):
    http://www.toilet-guru.com/install.php



    Can I read and use the computer this way?

    Yes, I use a squat toilet daily and have no problem reading on it. Using a laptop is not really possible, but you can misc on your phone once you have developed decent balance and comfort in that position. You will feel much cleaner.

    Further reading

    http://www.naturesplatform.com/health_benefits.html

    Warning: Do not do this on an unmodified toilet - severe injury may result
    Last edited by ZenBowman; 07-21-2011 at 02:51 PM.
    Squat toilet guru: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=136590191

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  2. #2
    Banned Sworn_Enemy's Avatar
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    sometimes I hover over the tiolet when ****ting in public places.....
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    first page


    will sell spot pm me



    edit spot sold to: ManOnDaMoon

    by his request

    Last edited by Swolebraahh; 07-21-2011 at 03:34 PM.
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  7. #7
    Proponent of Elitism ZenBowman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Sworn_Enemy View Post
    Obviously the medical industry prefers if you sit to poop, that way they can sell you all sorts of unnecessary junk to cure your "poor digestive system".
    Squat toilet guru: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=136590191

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  8. #8
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    5 star thread.. srs
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  10. #10
    Banned Sworn_Enemy's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ZenBowman View Post
    Obviously the medical industry prefers if you sit to poop, that way they can sell you all sorts of unnecessary junk to cure your "poor digestive system".
    but some of them feel good man

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  11. #11
    Registered User GooDooG's Avatar
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    why not put a box that's almost as high as the toilet seat lol that also works op. and its pretty funny how the whole misc converted to this method.
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  12. #12
    Registered User tnagger's Avatar
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    been doing this for awhile brah, I've got a little stool(lulz) I pull up to the front of the toilet and set my feet on. No more pushing
    I ALWAYS rep back.

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  13. #13
    Claw Back nick187's Avatar
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    That is some good shet.
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  14. #14
    Now Porn Free jimbob007's Avatar
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  15. #15
    Proponent of Elitism ZenBowman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by GooDooG View Post
    why not put a box that's almost as high as the toilet seat lol that also works op. and its pretty funny how the whole misc converted to this method.
    Well, once you try it, its hard to go back. Good ideas spread faster than bad ideas. Take a look at the percentage of miscers who squat properly as opposed to doing quarter squats with 500lbs. Now compare that to the average gym-goer who cannot even break parallel with their own bodyweight and no spinal load.

    Internet message boards are easily the #1 source for solid information.
    Squat toilet guru: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=136590191

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  16. #16
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    Originally Posted by ZenBowman View Post
    Well, once you try it, its hard to go back. Good ideas spread faster than bad ideas. Take a look at the percentage of miscers who squat properly as opposed to doing quarter squats with 500lbs.

    Internet message boards are easily the #1 source for solid information.
    rep me?
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  17. #17
    hi misk u mad? lostinthesouthh's Avatar
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    o god wat
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  18. #18
    op is a phaggot whoisthisguy's Avatar
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    lots of work went into this here thread.
    vancouver brah.
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  19. #19
    Proponent of Elitism ZenBowman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jimbob007 View Post
    Nice massey shot, I used to play snooker daily for a year. So much better than pool, not even funny.
    Last edited by ZenBowman; 07-22-2011 at 05:33 PM.
    Squat toilet guru: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=136590191

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  20. #20
    Proponent of Elitism ZenBowman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by whoisthisguy View Post
    lots of work went into this here thread.
    If I help 4-5 people convert to this method, I will have more for them than any doctor could do in a lifetime. You have to play the song to understand the significance.
    Squat toilet guru: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=136590191

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  21. #21
    Registered User andres93's Avatar
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  22. #22
    Registered User captain_natural's Avatar
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    my mind is full of fuk
    1k+

    Old avi and stats are old.
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  23. #23
    Registered User foodandliquor's Avatar
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    Good shiit, also mind blown that there are squatting toilets. What do you say when people ask about the bricks by your toilet?
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  24. #24
    Sperrys and Polos ukbrah's Avatar
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    Yeh you should really get it installed.

    Have a look at this site


    Graphic images so i didn't bother to imbed. Guy squatted on the toilet.

    - http://tatt005.blogspot.com/2010/01/...ilet-seat.html
    ☆☆☆υк ˘яєω☆☆☆


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  25. #25
    Registered User TheFrohman's Avatar
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    They always told me practice makes perfect. Then they told me nobody's perfect...
    So I just stopped practicing

    I always rep back.
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  26. #26
    Star Wars Brah DoubleTapThat's Avatar
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    tried squatting over the toilet once couldnt poop just got a weird boner
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  27. #27
    Registered User envied09's Avatar
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    in for squatting
    Minimalist.
    Kneedragger.
    Book Reader.
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  28. #28
    Registered User pmangat's Avatar
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    I'm going to think of this song every time I take a shi t now.
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  29. #29
    Squatting4thewin SQTFTW's Avatar
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    in?
    Arsenal FC
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  30. #30
    Banned ElRollo's Avatar
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    Every time I **** in the wilderness it comes out so much faster and better.

    And all them funny yellow people do this too.
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